Solo Charred Hearts

[Lenz]

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3rd of Summer, 514 AV

The sky was dark and growing darker by the minute. It felt cool, the air brushing up against anything that dared pose as an obstacle. Lenz happened to be an obstacle, the goose flesh rippling across her forearms and legs. She sighed, racking her brain for any thoughts, any at all.

There was no epiphany or spark that was ignited in her mind. She knew the symptoms of boredom, for she had experienced them fairly well many times before. Only a season ago she had been so fatigued of doing absolutely nothing that she had grown tired, depressed even.

She had also taken it upon herself to grow vivid images in her sleep. They consisted of wishes and desires, some incredibly impractical such as flying. For some that may sound natural for a dream, but for her it was highly abnormal. Her dreams were simple and peaceful, not much adventure filling them when she rested.

She was feeling this way now, restless and partially aching, her feet starting to throb and itch with the need to do something.

She had stared at walls and had glanced at sundials, the ones that were available to her at the time. Everything her eyes landed on gave her no incentive for imagination.

She always needed a distraction. Ever since the last person she cared about had passed away, murdered by the hands of a cruel criminal, she had needed some sort of distraction. It was that or throw away the last threads of sanity she clung to with much desperation.

Her hands began to grow clammy, her forehead sprouting small beads of sweat as she looked around, her mind racing with thoughts and then… flashbacks.

“No,” she cried, taking hold of several strands of hair and ripping them from out of her scalp. “No!” She took another few wispy curls in between her fingers and pulled them clean out of her head, the pain all but unbearable. “No!”

’You have gone completely and utterly mad, or is this an infallible assumption?

With a fistful or hair, she lolled her head to the side, resisting the temptation to yank her hand away. Tears started to stream down her face, but not from the discomfort that radiated down the back of her neck, but instead, her chest. Her heart hurt much worse than her head, its pain pulsing without rhythm, and without purpose.

“No.”

You disagree with the logic so obviously portrayed from your recent actions?

“No,” she said.

Then what be your argument; the reasoning behind the negative?

Suddenly a shrill noise came from out of her mouth; a cackle so high pitched it could have been misinterpreted for a scream. She lowered her voice, her vocal chords choosing between two different octaves. She started to giggle hysterically, closing her eyes as she did only to snap them open again.

Yes. Completely mad; out of her head! Said the voice, pointedly.

“It is time for some magic.” The words were abruptly said, and completely unexpected, causing even herself to react surprised and taken aback.

Are you sure that would be wise? Why now of all times?

“Because,” she countered intuitively. “I said so.”

[Lenz]

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.Lenz thrust a hand out, pointing to a position mere feet away from where she stood.

“You stand there,” she growled, raising an eyebrow in terms of symbolizing impatience.

She waited as an invisible figure only she could see, yet could not, went to where it had been commanded to.

I find this to be highly illogical given the state of mind you’re presenting at the moment.

She ignored his words as they echoed off the walls in her brain and instead, proceeded to rid herself of all emotion entirely.

She was easily triggered by many things now: aggressive movements, irrational actions, criticizing opinions and even simple noises among other things. This was the only way she could collect herself long enough to attain some amount of control.

She pursed her lips and closed her eyes, pressing the tips of her fingers into her temples. She took long and deep breaths, envisioning solitude and confinement from the hectic environment outside. She avoided thoughts of the past; flashbacks that posed as nightmares during the times she was able to sleep. Finally, she had slowed down her breathing, depleted her raging emotions and frantic thoughts and finally saw.

“You will stand there, still and devoid of any motion, and I will practice,” she demanded with a so stern it could have torn through metal.

Her facial expressions remained stoic, her mind cleared and freed from any corruption, but it would only stay this way for so long.

Her disposition managed to remain lucid and cool as she mustered up the strength that was compacted into the will she vehemently possessed.

She felt the Djed pulsing through her veins, thriving inside of her as she held out her hand. She called to it; screamed for its presence to be in the palm of her hand, and it did so obligingly. Her energy, ripe and ready to be used, appeared as a small sphere of liquid green, hovering delicately over her soft flesh. It glowed with characteristics so ethereal, it was unbelievable.

Over time she had gotten used to the energy that drained from her as she conjured up such a creation. Now, it wasn’t much different, but she felt like she had improved upon her technique.

She smiled wickedly at the sight, aiming to try something different something entirely new, if not a little dangerous. The wickedness inside her grew, feasting off of any other emotions that were chained to the stony walls in the cells of captivity found lodged in the depths of her darkened soul.

“The fire blazes; inferno of bliss
Turmoil blisters amiss
Catastrophe awaits, yet there is a master
No haste, yet pace, nothing above faster
Quake in their boots, all enemies will
As the practitioner attempts a new skill”

Her chant was loudly spoken, her words flowing off her tongue in thick streams as she craned her neck to look at the candle she had placed on the ground many chimes ago. The Djed still wavered above her palm until she dug around in her subconscious.

Unfortunately nothing happened. She knew of course, that she couldn’t instantly will fire to presume its place in the palm of her hand, yet she was still increasingly dejected, a somber mood shadowing her empty thoughts.

She tried again, clearing her mind and resuming it into the voided state it was previously. She presented herself well, focusing her concentration on the task at hand.

She felt the power consuming her, the Djed draining from her body. It made her feel slightly dizzy, but she ushered on. She felt obliged to do this, to enhance her knowledge in reimancy and prove herself as something more.

She was motivated, and expelled that motivation in the form of magical power, its properties taking the form of something else. Nothing happened again.

Unlike most whom would naturally give up right then and there, Lenz wasn’t easily swayed. She was one who could overthrow the deterrents of everyday disappointment and with this gift she proceeded to attempt another time.

She focused more so, her eyes straining to force the heated element, to conjure it in the position of which she wished for it to appear at. She then closed her eyes, envisioning pain, suffering, rage and all things that resembled the fire that burned inside of her.

She feigned anger, exploiting its traits as it bubbled up into a physical property. Fire erupted, igniting the ball of Djed, and it had frightened Lenz as soon as she had opened her eyes. She was bewildered, the emotion aiming to cause her to lose control, but she kept it in her knowledgeable grasp.

Impressive. Your mind's flaws and torment have conjured up an intricate element. You are improving.

“Shh,” she seethed as she observed the specimen she had just created. “Silence yourself.”

[Lenz]

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.She had initially wanted to attack her friend, the figure that seemed to be in another dimension somewhere; however, her intentions shifted as her eyes were held, captivated by the wonders of the orb of fire that resided mere inches above the palm of her hand.

It was her passion to learn, to digest knowledge as if it was her only food source. She watched the orb of light, the heat of courage as it bobbed in her hand.

She had no intention of releasing it or ceasing its glow. Its mere existence gave her a chill down her spine.

“You are absolutely beautiful,” she breathed, tempted to stick her finger out to touch it.

Its essence was invigorating and as she started to move it from one hand to the other, she felt powerful. However, as she was attempting to do this, her concentration slipped, thus breaking the determination that had been boiling inside her.

The ball of flames flew from out of her grasp, burning her hand as it did, only to caress the ground, ignite the wick of the candle and set the grass on fire.

She cried out in pain, clutching her left hand to her chest as she glanced at her friend of imagination origin; the one of which only her eyes could see.

It is who did nothing wrong, but you. I have remained like stagnant air amidst the billowing fumes of smoke your encouraged motivation has expelled for the past few chimes.

“It is not I, but you who distracted me, you withering buffoon. Make yourself useful and dissipate like the ethereal fog, the pestilence of wind you so plague me with.”

And so her mind no longer played the game of portraying the illusion of a friend. The invisible figure disappeared and she was left to stomp out the fire that had created turmoil to the vegetation on the ground.

“Frightful bastard of antagonizing irritation is he,” she muttered arrogantly, still clutching her painful hand to her bosom. It throbbed in her hold.

“That is what he is and shall be for the rest of time.”

And overwhelming sense of urgency abruptly overtook her body, causing it to writhe with a craving for more. She had felt this before, last season to be exact. It was something she struggled to remember.

Was the outcome positive or of negative display? Did this feeling result with bad consequences? She shook her head from side to side and cackled like a witch.

“We shall see what we shall see. And my dear friend, I will be able to see what I will see, for I will still have my head and the eyes that come with its presence,” she said aloud, speaking to herself and only herself.

Now only remained a question, simple, yet bold. What shall she do next?

[Lenz]

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.She observed her hand a little more closely, working up the courage to examine the burned remains of massacred tissue and charred flesh. It smelt strange and unnerved her as she leant her head forward, daring herself to increase her sense of which were already enticingly invigorated.

She stuck out her tongue and dipped the tipped of her tongue into the wound. A sharp sting of pain crept up her arm, severing the veins and arteries that supplied blood to her brain, or had they been severed many days ago?

You disgust me.

“You will not provoke me to attempt hostile actions in silencing you, cretin. I bade you to seal your lips, to contain your insults for the time being. If you fail to do so in the future, I will prevail in our blistering feud.”

There was no response, as Lenz was left to check her injury with fresh eyes.

A red mark of boiling skin bubbled from her wrist on the underside of her hand up through her palm until it reached the tip of her middle finger.

Her left hand continued to burn, the indentation surely to scar no matter how many precautions were made in an attempt to heal the burn more quickly.

She sighed, the overwhelming feeling to continue conjuring up more magic igniting ideas in her mind. The base of her skull started to throb gently, increasing with every new moment. She shut her eyes tightly before snapping them open again.

She wasn’t easily deterred, her motivation spurred by accomplishment. It was this accomplishment that drove her to do difficult tasks and even ones that were incredibly risky to some.

She brought the tips of both index fingers together so that they barely touched before she closed her eyes again only this time she did so in a much slower pace. She dug inside the darkest corners of her mind, extracting those ideas that seemed of little importance during the time being.

She took a deep breath, feeling the air accumulate inside both nostrils before she expelled it out in the form of hot carbon dioxide.

She proceeded to meditate in this way, trying her best to find a tranquil state of mind. She even hummed to herself, a gentle reminder of her serenity that could easily succumb herself into a turmoil of lucid dreaming.

She could easily become consumed in anything whether it be of repetitiveness or change. She wasn’t fond of change, but was willing to accept it, pummeling through the day in a manner of defiance. Today was unlike those days. It was one of intelligence, knowledge and pursuing ideas in the form of imaginative creation. Lenz was all for it.

She had had enough time to recuperate as she opened her eyes again, retracting her fingertips from one another. She formed her left hand in a fist as to not harm it any further. This time she would use her less dominant hand to try to manifest another orb of fiery light.

She decided to create another minor lyric, a chant to accompany her attempts at pyromancing again. She cleared her throat, maintaining a clear definition for that of her sanctified mind.

With her mind cleared, she proceeded to think like one would when they were to attempt to control the element of fire once more. She wouldn’t put too much focus on the emtions this time, but more so in the act of portraying said emotions.

She would not feel them, but she would depict them as if telling a story to an audience that was foreign to her. She would be taciturn and not viable to feeling anything.

“Ubiquitous embers flailing in the sky
Strength without anger shining high
Charring to blackened such as the night
Emotions faltering, bringing no fright.
Control yet freedom prose in sight
Sanctum is the mind accustomed in delight
Intrepid instruction and fluid motion
Intelligent and resourcefulness is the notion.”

The djed writhed inside her and swarmed from her midsection towards her wrists where it resided for a moment before erupting out of the palms of her hands to hover above them in a pensive manner.

She watched them with admirable eyes. Her pupils dilated as she watched the fluid way the res moved. It flowed in the air like it was water, but also like it was pure air with little tangibility.

Her irises grew, their hazel tint darkening as she absorbed the emotions she was feeling, but remained stoic and inept to feel them like she would have had she not meditated before.

She continued to call to the substance until she closed her eyes, feeling the pressure building behind inside her arms and hands, her legs and even her face.

She was using power she had only practiced using once before, yet she continued to use the control she held until fire began to ignite the res that flew above her hand.

She opened her eyes to see the flames licking the air around her palms. She did this and she smiled. It was a wonderful sight and one she was becoming accustomed to witnessing.

Witnessing she was, and she was witnessing with fathomed pleasure. A devious and insightful sort of pleasure.

[Lenz]

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.She continued to observe the fire wriggling slightly above her hand as she continued to apply more force to keep the fire lit. It bobbed a top of her left hand until she moved her right hand next to it.

She willed more res to flow into the already present blob of fire, causing the element to grow. She then forced a small amount of the substance to flow from her left hand over to her right, controlling its movements the entire time.

With two hands holding equal amounts of fire, she then positioned her feet so that they stood shoulder width apart. She grounded herself so that balance was among her body and then she drew up her hands and threw the fire from both of them in the form of fire balls towards the trees in front of her.

A loud crackling sound erupted from the target she had created on the trees’ bark. It snapped and popped and splintered the wood to come flying off of the trees.

She was startled by the suddenness of the vision and audibility displayed before her, but did not lose her balance. She would remain stoic and in control, for this is what she needed- this is what she craved and desired most of all.

Impressive, that is for someone such as yourself.

Lenz’s emotionless stability quickly came crashing down. One’s mentality wasn’t nearly as infallible as she had assumed, but that was merely because she was a troubled being from all she had encountered and all she would soon encounter.

“What do you mean by that?” she spat, looking greedily over by the burnt bark she had just obliterated. I did that, she thought to herself absentmindedly. I did that by the sheer power of my strength.

You need to ask me this inquiry?

“I don’t like how you lead on. You never simply speak your mind. You must let me guess and I despise guessing!” she countered.

You’re weak. You let your emotions get the better of you.

For a moment Lenz was confused. She just ignored the emotions that were filling up her solarplex and threatening to burst out in the form of a yell or tears.

Why was her other side, her darker personality, the voice in her head telling her differently?

“Did you not see what I just did? I neglected to allow my feelings to succumb myself to the contempt of weakness such as those fools in the city! Did you not just see this? Did you not read my thoughts such as you usually do?”

I see everything.

The last remark it made caused chills to trample up and down her spine as if they were an army marching down the battle field and the battle field being her back. She wouldn’t have it, however.

“You don’t know anything,” she retorted before balling her knuckles into fists.

This time she purposefully let her emotions get the better of her. She had lost all control and the tears had started to bubble up inside of her.

She was riled up now and nothing was going to cease the tumult that was starting to foam over the bay. She thoughts morbid things before willing her djed to come to the brim.

She forced it into res, forming the substance to do what she commanded. It hovered over both palms as ferocity took place over control. Nothing calm resonated inside of her, for she was not thinking at the moment.

With the flick of her wrist both spheres of res sparked into balls of fire. She moved her left hand closer to her right subconsciously and took a string of res from the left ball of flame and connected it to the right so that she had a sort of weapon that resembled like nun chucks.

She held the weapon of fire by the string in the middle and spun her arm in a circular motion. One ball came above the other and started to swing over each other. End over end the tool became a deadly spinning object of fury.

She then let go and tossed the weapon across from her. It collided with the tree a few yards before her, crashing into the trunk with the string portion.

The sound was so loud the bass reverberating through the floor of the forest and tingled into Lenz’s calves. She almost lost balance, but thankfully recovered herself before falling backwards.

“That is letting my anger and other emotions get the better of me!” she shrieked, watching as the voice in her head took physical form in front of her.

She narrowed her eyes and let her eyebrows draw downwards as she scanned her opponent, the one that could never leave; the one that was forever stuck in her head.

The Voice that wouldn’t cease to exist no matter how much power she could muster and no matter how much force she applied to the creature. It would not leave her alone!

“Get out of my head!” she screamed before falling on her knees. Her hands flew up to hold her head on either sides as she shook it from side to side in a hasty motion. The pace was dizzying, but she didn’t care.

She had lost all control.

I can never leave, was its response.

And then did Lenz know that she was forever cursed with the incessant and obnoxious rattle of its taunting voice in her mind.

She closed her eyes and fell onto her back, staring up at the sky that had quickly turned black. She watched the stars twinkling above and soon fell into a deep sleep.

[Caela Dorin]

Grade Awarded Lenz Experience Skill XP Earned Composition 2 Meditation 2 Observation 2 Reimancy: Fire 3 Rhetoric 1 Lores • Lore Earned • Reimancy: Transmuting Res into fire • Reimancy technique: Fire Balls • Reimancy technique: Fire Nun chucks • Magical burns will leave scars • Composition: Creating chants • Rhetoric: Persuading Oneself Consequences : -Overgiving: Lenz will experience mild symptoms of overgiving for two days after her use of magic. The duration of these symptoms will lengthen if further magic is used. She can also expect magic related nightmares for the first night. -Scar: Lenz will be left with a scar from where she was burned with magical fire Additional Comments A very enjoyable thread. Short, sweet and I love the way that Lenz is walking the line between sanity and madness. It's definitely a precarious tilt towards the latter though! I would have given you higher XP in reimancy but there wasn't enough detail! More detail about controlling the new element, shaping it, how it feels compared to controlling air, etc. Give me more of that in the future and I'll give you the points. Absolutely lovely thread though, I look forward to more of Lenz and her "imaginary friend"! Please edit or delete your grade request and PM me if you have any questions or problems concerning your grade. x