Closed [Hadyn's Apartment] I've Made a Huge Mistake (Hadyn)

[Orion Michaels]

Liam's screaming only seemed to get louder as he searched the unfamiliar apartment for cloth which he didn't even know for sure existed. Her words did little soothe either of them. That much blood didn't come if it wasn't a fairly serious cut. She'd need more than a rag, but at least it could get things under control. "Hadyn.." he said, voice softening as he moved over to the brunette. He was genuinely concerned, but any demonstration of such was again interrupted by the unholy shrieks of an upset newborn.

Distracted by Liam, the squire missed Hadyn's mistaken choice of cloth. He turned his back to her, holding his son tight to his shoulder in an attempt to soothe the sobbing infant. For a moment the only sounds were Liam's wailing and the soft sucking in of air by Hadyn.

Is this what it means to be a father?

The blue eyed man wondered if this is what he'd been missing all this time. The screaming, the barely-if-not-at-all controlled emotion, and the utter exhaustion. It sounded like his training, if he took a moment to think about it. Only, Hadyn didn't get the rest he did. Liam was her own personal Dinah that woke her at any hour of the day with gods-know what kinds of requests. With a frown, the squire took the advice offered by the weaponsmith. She was the expert on Liam, if there were such a thing.

Amazingly enough, it seemed to work. Liam's screams went from soul piercing to a minor annoyance almost immediately. Orion had figured being comforted by a parent would be the child's desire, but it was apparently anything but.

Liam's fingers blindly reached for the comfort of his blanket, and when the tiny, awkward appendeages did so, they grasped it as firm as they could manage before a long, tired, yawn found its way from the infants mouth. He hadn't wanted to be awake in the first place. Orion could appreciate that much. Soft whimpers followed him as the squire turned to exit the room. "Sorry little guy," he whispered, staring forward at the opening. "I've got something else to take care of."

Hadyn.

The squire joined her in the living room, finding her in the same place he'd left her. As they always did, his words left him. The awkward dance of whatever it was they were made it far too difficult to interact. He hated it.

Stopping a stride or two behind the weaponsmith, Orion reached out a hand as though to place it on her shoulder. Try and be comforting. Try and do something, you asshole. His digits hovered a short distance away. I shouldn't have even come here.

Shaking his head, Orion withdrew his half-offering and sighed. "I'll watch after him," he said, defeated. "You should go get that treated, just to be safe. I don't have any of my supplies here, or I'd take care of it." He slowly turned from the brunette and half walked half moped to a nearby chair. He prayed to whatever god was listening that she would cooperate. He'd been in a poor mood before he came, and he'd run into a worse one the moment he opened the door. Just their luck.

[Hadyn Skellig]

It was a funny thing - the mixture of anger, frustration, exhaustion and loneliness. It balled itself up tightly in her chest, no one emotion taking precedence but rather the whole conglomeration melding into one horrid feeling. Orion's words were not taken kindly, her fingers pressing instinctively deeper into the cut to avoid striking him. A grimace on her face the woman attempted to gain control over the situation. He would not tell her what to do - especially if he was right.

"I'll be fine," she murmured, readjusting the cloth that was now quite soiled and damp. But to hell with Orion and his prudent suggestion.

"Wouldn't want to leave you with all the responsibility," she muttered darkly. Hadyn knew it was an unfair statement but at that point she hardly cared. In fact, she hoped he would respond with equal parts venom and hurt. It felt deliciously righteous to speak thus to him. How many bells had she spent miserably trying to calm their son or sort her life out while he was elsewhere.

The brunette turned to face him, the pain in her hand fueling the ire in her gaze. She waited for him to get on that damn high horse he loved to ride. Despite the bite in her words her voice was quiet, fearful of waking their son. Honestly if she were more controlled and calmer she might take his advice. Leave him with the baby and see how he fared. Knowing her luck Liam would stay sleeping while his father minded him. No. She would not take that risk when she was in the perfect position to give the man a piece of her mind.

"You've spent the customary moment and a half with him. Suppose you'll be on your way." Her tone dripped with sarcasm and malice though her eyes belied the hurt. She would never admit it to anyone - least of all Orion Michaels - but she wanted a break. She desired some semblance of normality, though it would surely never come from him. Without the words to complain Hadyn wanted someone else to shoulder this burden. Even to tell her she was doing alright. For all her years alone she now wanted someone to offer reassurance. Well she was looking at the wrong person and she knew it.

[Orion Michaels]

It became clear rather quickly just what Hadyn was going to be like for the remainder of their encounter. Everything had piled on her, and it was coming out in the worst way. The venom was building in everything but volume, and it did nothing but sour Orion's already pissy mood. She act as though he wanted to be distant from his son, when he felt as though he spent every moment of free time he could muster with Liam, or trying to cultivate some semblance of a relationship with his daughter. There were simply not enough bells in the day to waste on bullshit like this.

He silently took her barbs, the smith's burning gaze growing hotter, redder than forge at which she worked. Her words were unfair, as was the situation they were in. It wasn't as though Orion was carrying his share of the burden. Hadyn carried the child, stopped working, and was alone dealing with the sleepless nights while Orion toiled away at a job that brought in no coin. To top it, he had a curfew, so it wasn't as though he could do much in the evenings. He was aware he wasn't pulling his weight, that he couldn't pull his weight. Hearing Hadyn not so subtly suggest as much only served to light a fire beneath the squire.

Orion's hand's instinctively clenched, his jaw following suit as his frustrations threatened to boil over. Hadyn's body language was dangerous, like a snake poised to strike. She'd rattled her tail in warning, but with her final statement, Orion was forced to retaliate, unconcerned about the coming bite.

"You know what, Hadyn? Go fuck yourself. Would have saved us a lot of problems if you had." Ever the supportive squire. "I'm trying here. No, I don't want a pat on the back, but if you're going to be difficult every time I come over, then what exactly am I doing? Do you have any more to get out? Please, be my fucking guest. Passive aggressive bullshit."

Orion shook his head, speaking through his teeth in a hushed tone. "I offer help and you dig in like a stubborn mule. Too proud? Gods know you won't ever ask for it." Orion closed the distance between them, moving within arms reach. "You're impossible. You're fucking goading me. I know you're doing it, and I can't help but lash back. Do you want me gone? I wish I could be here every day and do my part, but if that's just going to create..whatever this is, then..."

He trailed off, his gaze falling down to her hand. "Idiot. Fighting with me when you should be getting that treated." His tone calmed. A deep breath followed, uncertainty creeping into his thoughts. He'd likely gone too far, but it hadn't been the first time.

[Hadyn Skellig]

Slapping the stupid out of him would have been irreprehensible at this point were it not for the self-inflicted cut on her hand. Striking Orion would likely hurt her more than him and he'd no doubt take the opportunity to rub her face in it. Words that might normally sting only fueled the fire ready to spew forth, his ire matching hers. His arguments were ridiculous and she couldn't possible bother to rationalize his feelings or the truth in his statements. No. There was only petched-up Orion having a temper tantrum because he couldn't get his way.

He moved closer, his height and bulk attempting to intimidate her when his words could not. Lifting her chin to stare into those roiling blue eyes Hadyn met his gaze. She had a response ready but she let the silence sit a moment longer. These were words she'd labored over for many seasons, keeping quiet for fear of disrupting the tenuous balance they'd achieved. But he'd given her an opening to speak her mind.

"Yes, poor Orion," she agreed demurely though her eyes sparked with wrath. "Trying to make ends meet. How many jobs have you forsaken to prance around the city without a coin to your name? does the squire life agree with you, Michaels? Sparring with lads half your age and dipping your wick wherever you see fit - sounds pretty damn nice." Her voice was hushed, mocking with an invitation for him to disagree. She closed the tiny gap further, a half step toward him bringing them almost nose to nose as she took a breath.

"Your dreams are bigger than your balls," she murmured, the fury gone from her voice despite all her efforts. It was tiring to be so angry. "You want to play dress up and become a great Knight but your time is waning, Orion. You may be riddled with rickety bones and grey, thinning hair by the time you see Knighthood. You want to try for your children? go back to being a doctor or a cook."

Though she could've been a slight bit kinder in her tone and delivery it was nonetheless a truth. His profession was a conundrum she couldn't figure out though she'd never felt it her place to comment. But it affected Liam and the uncertainty of Orion's future had the weaponsmith increasingly concerned. Why he couldn't return to cooking or providing medical care - both of which afforded him Miza and stability - she didn't know. And now she was in need of an answer without actually asking the question.

[Orion Michaels]

“You’re delusional,” he concluded. “In all my years as a physician, I’ve never seen an infection spread so quickly. That’s the only answer for the bullshit you’re saying. Clearly, it has spread to the brain.” He stared down at the weaponsmith, cheeks flush with anger that she’d brought forth. Sometimes he wondered if she enjoyed pulling his strings, making him dance like some godforsaken puppet. The anger that spewed forth suggested to him that this was more than getting her kicks. It was genuine. It only made her words hurt more. His lack of time spent with Liam and Emily represented an open wound for the squire, and Hadyn’s accusations were like pouring salt in it. He couldn’t expect her to understand a decision that he himself couldn’t fully grasp. He wanted to do something bigger, he wanted to belong to something, and for once in his life not feel like he was drifting. But more than any of that, he just wanted to avoid quitting – his usual choice when faced with something too difficult. If he knew Hadyn, which he was certain he didn’t, she would think it was all ridiculous. She wanted stability from him, the knowledge that he was either in or out, and as long as he was a squire he’d be suck in a half-assed version of both. Her last words hurt the most, the accusation that he was not truly trying for his children. He could try and explain that everything he was doing now was for them, but she wouldn’t buy it. “I’m doing what I think will be best,” he growled, head shaking slightly. “This isn’t some fancy, Hadyn. I’m good at this, and it will provide for these children long after I’ve passed on. A year or two of struggles isn’t worth the end though, right? I mean, I’ve been skimping on my financial obligations, right?” He punctuated his last question with a raise of his eyebrows. Orion had a large amount of coin saved from his time as a doctor and had been able to support himself, Emily, and Liam without having any income for many seasons. The squire felt he was doing his part, giving that which he was able, but nothing seemed enough. He never knew what she wanted, and both were too proud to directly ask. “We’re just wasting our time today, are we not? I’ll call for Emily’s caretaker and see if she can watch Liam while you’re treated,” he stated, not dropping the intent he had that Hadyn’s hand be treated, while making it clear that he had no desire to be around when she returned. It was a confusing mess. Orion turned his gaze from Hadyn, moving to collect his equipment. His movements were careful as he tried to move the heavy sections of plate armor and avoid a reenactment of what sent Liam into a fit only a handful of chimes before. Yet as he worked, he could only imagine Hadyn seething behind him, and he prepared for another volley of hate from the mother of his son.

[Hadyn Skellig]

Day, Season, Year AV

Well that did not have the ameliorating affect she'd been hoping for. They were words she'd been laboring over, hoping to have the right moment to tell him. This was not the best moment. Nor was this the feeling she was expecting to have upon sharing her thoughts with the squire. She heard him respond angrily, speaking at length and setting her straight. She was only half-listening. The pain in her hand was suddenly very real and exhaustion reared its ugly head as well.

Orion moved away to collect his things, mindful in his actions as he prepared to leave. Guilt joined the pity party she was hosting, its presence causing her to turn her face from the squire. They'd fallen back into their usual routine. Failed attempts at normalcy, un-tempered emotions topped off with an awkward departure by one of them to avoid anything further.

Well done, stupid.

But she didn't want to repeat this pattern. Not anymore. She was approaching 30. And she had a child. Surely she could move past the immature pattern she was so familiar with. It didn't serve either of them and it certainly wasn't good for Liam. With a sigh through clenched teeth the weaponsmith willed herself to calm down.

"Orion," she began, making no attempt to disguise the defeat in her voice. "I'm... I'm sorry. I shouldn't have said any of that."

Swallowing the immediate need to spit more fire the woman retreated to the table where the apple lay forgotten. A tiredness set into her muscles, her guilt for the unwarranted treatment of her son's father eating away at her stubbornness. Taking a seat as she held her hand tightly to the cut the brunette raised her eyes to the squire.

"You should stay. Spend time with Liam while you have it. He does like having you here." She paused, hoping he wouldn't take her olive branch as another jab at his schedule. Her voice was soft, waiting for the inevitable sharp attack now that she'd shown her weakness. They were animals.