My journey in Mizahar begins

by **Val Galorian** on May 5th, 2015, 6:57 am

So this my first time here. After reading the rules, much of the lore (very impressive, by the way) and the character sheet/guide I have finally finished making my my character. A promising young knight named Val Galorian!
First of all I would like to note that I have copy and pasted my character sheet into here so that I can get some more seasoned adventurers to give it the eye and possibly offer any advice. After that I will post it in the appropriate areas. Which I would be ever so grateful if someone could let me know (or paste a link) of where I put my character and hit sheet on this site.

Name: Val Galorian.
Race: Human.
Birthday: 24th of Winter, AV 490.
Age: 24.
Gender: Male.

Appearance:
　　His skin is tanned. For the most part Val is fairly good looking with long face, blond hair, blue eyes that carefully watch and sharp nose hovering over his wide jaw.
　　A tall (about 6”5’) and muscular young man, hardened by many days practicing combat. His torso, whilst not quite bulky, is well toned. Val is still very much in the prime of his youth and it shows. His skin is clear, without blemishes or scars. For the most part he keeps himself clean. Washing regularly, when his adventures allow it, he takes pride not only in his sword fighting but also in his looks.
Home: Syliras.
Character Concept:
　　A young warrior training to be a Syliran Knight. Though from a poor family, they even had to lease their house, he aspired to be great Syliran Knight. However he discovered that they were not the brave and courageous warriors that had been lead to believe. Just like any order they are subject to corruption.
　　As such he lost faith in the order and since been training to uphold his own brand of honour and justice. In the past few years he was fought in tournaments and ridden in the lists. Whilst being a great knight on horseback he excels best when in one-on-one duel with swords.
Personality:
　　Some may consider him to over confident in his abilities but he is just confident in his training. Not to mention that he was won a number for tournaments. Outside of being a knight he knows very little and many find Val to be naive.
Merits:
　　An accomplish knight, particularly at such a young age. He is an adept sword fight, skill with a lance and decent tactician. He is a loyal man who keeps to his word.
Flaws:
　　Naive. Especially outside of matters concerning combat. Also his loyalty can borderline on stubborn. He also shown to be completely useless with magic to the point that fighting foes with magical abilities puts him at a severe disadvantage.
Likes:
　　Sword fight, duels and challenges.
Dislikes:
　　Dishonesty.
Events

Equipment:
Father’s Rusty Sword
1 set of simple clothing:
　　1 worn and ragged green shirt.
　　1 pair of blue shorts.
　　1 pair of tan leather boots.
　　1 pair of simple undergarments.
　　1 leather belt.
Scabbard
Inventory:
1 waterskin.
1 backpack:
　　1 set of toiletries.
　　1 week of food (6 days).
　　1 eating knife.
　　Flint & steel.
Money: 100 GM.
Ledger:
+100 GM from starting package.

Housing
1 basic 20x20 single room apartment within the interior of Stormhold Citadel.

Skills:
Weapon - Longsword: 20 SP: 20 Total.
Weapon - Lance: 10 SP: 10 Total.
Horse Riding: 10 SP: 10 Total.
Endurance: 5 SP: 5 Total.
Unarmed Combat: 5 SP: 5 Total.
Lores:
Lore of Syliras geography.
Lore of Syliras law and traditions.
Gnosis: None.
Languages:
Common Language.
Magic: None.

Lastly if anyone could let me know if the basic language has a name or is just known as "common tongue" or something? Thank you. Also some formatting tips wouldn't go amiss.

by **Tanna** on May 5th, 2015, 10:46 am

Hello and welcome! There's definitely lots to read and the starting guide is a great place to start if you haven't already given it a good read through!

I have nothing to add about the character or the sheet save for Val's ledger. You have to deduct the cost of the scabbard and the leather belt since neither come with the starting package (price list is here). I also take it that his father's rusty sword is his heirloom? If so, it might help to specify that

Once you've finished you sheet, you can link it here with a kind request for inspection. The Liaisons will take care of you from there.

Lastly, since you are planning on writing in Syliras, you will need to post IC in the entrance thread here. Feel free to say hello in the OOC thread here and checking out the rest of the stickied threads located in the Syliras forum never hurts!

Hope this helps and have fun!

by **Gossamer** on May 5th, 2015, 1:18 pm

You state you are a great knight on horseback but with a riding skill of 10 you can barely sit a horse. You also say your an accomplished knight but I've seen child pcs with better stats. Your guy can't fight, ride, or have decent combat right now. Don't blow up a pc into something he's not until you have the stats. Remember... DON'T tell the reader how to feel about things... just state the facts or show them by demonstration if you want them to see certain traits like handsome or brave.

One thing I might add is that your pc is a very typical Gary Sue/Stew. Google that if you don't know what that is. He is too perfect to b be believable and has no flaws.