78th of Fall, 501 AV
Location: East Street
It feels like a very long time ago, almost too far back to remember clearly but I can still see it sometimes when I blink my eyes. It is illuminated there, behind my eyelids with the darkness as its backdrop flickering in and out of focus. I'm not sure it is supposed to be this way, but for me it simply is and there is not much I can do about it. I don't want to do anything about it, because it is a reminder of some things that are easily forgotten. Do most children think like this? Probably not. I am no longer a child though, and this memory is nothing short of miraculous because... because in it I still see the color. I see the color of the world as through someone else's eyes. Through her eyes. I don't think she even realizes it, what she has done to me. Can you hear me now? Can you? If so accept this...
Thank you.
*****
"Fel..."
It was always dark here. Dark and lonely, deep inside of my mind where not even the faintest touch of color could reach. Grey and muted without end, and my heart echoed the emptiness of my soul as it could not respond to even the smallest stimulation. I didn't even notice it before though, yet something changed.
"Fel..."
The feel of rough wool against my skin as I squeeze my eyes shut against the brightness of the world around me, quivering despite myself. Winter was coming after all. I should have worn a coat. Mother sold it though, so I guess there is nothing for it.
"FELICITY!"
*****
"What?" The whisper escapes cold lips as Felicity hugs her knees closer to her chest, eyes blinking open in the waning afternoon sun only to find the brightness of the light to be blocked and her body cast in shadow. This shadow, however, did not feel cold and lonesome. It was somehow warm, or maybe it wasn't the shadow at all but the voice that called to her deep in the depths of her own mental solitude.
Pushing the hair out of her eyes and looking up Felicity stared into the deep hazel eyes of the girl who called out to her. Brown hair cut short to make it easier to clean, baggy and used hand me down clothing, but despite whatever hardships her life might offer her she always seemed to be smiling.
"You're too loud Witt." Felicity whispered, resting her head back down on her knees and covering her face with her arms, "I was taking a nap."
"Your bum Father keeping you up at night again?" A light thump and a brush against her shoulder told Felicity that Witt had settled down beside her, too close as usual.
"He wanted me to pick something up for him again, but the guy was late."
"You should just run away from there. It's obvious they don't love you enough to properly care for you."
As always the logic made perfect sense and felicity found herself wondering why she didn't do just that. Then again, where would she go? Besides it wasn't that she hated them. On the contrary Felicity could not decide what she felt for them, if anything at all. Thus, in response, she merely shrugged.
"Why don't we just run away together?" Witt tugged at Felicity's hair, making the other girl glance up at last to give a sideways look as if to say 'and where would we go?' That, as always, only made Witt laugh and Felicity rested her head once more.
"We could go anywhere. Far away, to some place where we would both be happy. Where we could eat until we were full, play every day, and not worry about... The other stuff." Subconsciously they both absently rubbed their arms, matching welts and darkened bruises there as badges of distinction that showed that each had earned the darkened view of the world around them that they had. Still, where as Felicity simply stared out at the bleak and colorless world with unfeeling indifference, Witt always seemed to be smiling. That never did make sense to Felicity.
"I want to go to Alvadas one day." came the response after several chimes of silence, "I heard from a sailor from a trade ship that the city is like nothing else in Mizahar. The buildings move on their own, and the flowers sing and it's hard to tell whats real from whats not."
Looking up Felicity rested her chin on her hands, head tilted to look toward Witt who was smiling up at the reddening sky, distance coming to her eyes as she began to imagine such a place. It made Felicity feel something, deep down toward her gut. A tightening, almost sick feeling that made her eyes want to close and never open again.
"I don't think that is a place for me." Felicity said, looking down at her toes as they curled against the dirt of the cobble stones, "You should go, if that is what you want." She wasn't sure she actually meant what she said.
"Don't be stupid Fel." Her laughter was like a sudden summer rain, falling quick and hard to strike small bullets that spread soothing water over her burning skin, "If I go you are coming with me. It's a promise."
"A Promise?" It was less of a question than a statement, and when Felicity looked up she almost could not bear the brightness of the smile presented to her. Those eyes, so ordinary and uninteresting at first glance, why did they suddenly seem so beautiful in the deepening reds and yellows of the passing day? A chill went up Felicity's spine and she looked away again, unable to bear what she saw there, and knowing she could not reflect that same feeling back at that girl.
A hand caught her chin, forcing her head back around and her eyes to open and stare at those hazel eyes, that short cut hair and baggy clothing. That smile that captivated her and made something, deep inside begin to well, flow as if to run over the rim of her fragile cup.
"Yes, a promise." Witt repeated, sliding closer and catching Felicity's hand in both her hers, "Promise we will go together one day. Promise?"
She couldn't do it, Felicity knew it. She could not promise with so much conviction, for as much as Witt glowed with warmth and passion, Felicity smoldered like a dying fire, cold creeping in at the edges at all times to consume everything in ice. But still... Witt made her want to at least try.
"Alright." Felicity said, pulling the corners of her mouth upward and pushing her cheeks up to show a full tooth smile, "I promise."
There was no way she could be that sincere, that compassionate, that driven... but for Witt, Felicity at least wanted to try.
Location: East Street
It feels like a very long time ago, almost too far back to remember clearly but I can still see it sometimes when I blink my eyes. It is illuminated there, behind my eyelids with the darkness as its backdrop flickering in and out of focus. I'm not sure it is supposed to be this way, but for me it simply is and there is not much I can do about it. I don't want to do anything about it, because it is a reminder of some things that are easily forgotten. Do most children think like this? Probably not. I am no longer a child though, and this memory is nothing short of miraculous because... because in it I still see the color. I see the color of the world as through someone else's eyes. Through her eyes. I don't think she even realizes it, what she has done to me. Can you hear me now? Can you? If so accept this...
Thank you.
*****
"Fel..."
It was always dark here. Dark and lonely, deep inside of my mind where not even the faintest touch of color could reach. Grey and muted without end, and my heart echoed the emptiness of my soul as it could not respond to even the smallest stimulation. I didn't even notice it before though, yet something changed.
"Fel..."
The feel of rough wool against my skin as I squeeze my eyes shut against the brightness of the world around me, quivering despite myself. Winter was coming after all. I should have worn a coat. Mother sold it though, so I guess there is nothing for it.
"FELICITY!"
*****
"What?" The whisper escapes cold lips as Felicity hugs her knees closer to her chest, eyes blinking open in the waning afternoon sun only to find the brightness of the light to be blocked and her body cast in shadow. This shadow, however, did not feel cold and lonesome. It was somehow warm, or maybe it wasn't the shadow at all but the voice that called to her deep in the depths of her own mental solitude.
Pushing the hair out of her eyes and looking up Felicity stared into the deep hazel eyes of the girl who called out to her. Brown hair cut short to make it easier to clean, baggy and used hand me down clothing, but despite whatever hardships her life might offer her she always seemed to be smiling.
"You're too loud Witt." Felicity whispered, resting her head back down on her knees and covering her face with her arms, "I was taking a nap."
"Your bum Father keeping you up at night again?" A light thump and a brush against her shoulder told Felicity that Witt had settled down beside her, too close as usual.
"He wanted me to pick something up for him again, but the guy was late."
"You should just run away from there. It's obvious they don't love you enough to properly care for you."
As always the logic made perfect sense and felicity found herself wondering why she didn't do just that. Then again, where would she go? Besides it wasn't that she hated them. On the contrary Felicity could not decide what she felt for them, if anything at all. Thus, in response, she merely shrugged.
"Why don't we just run away together?" Witt tugged at Felicity's hair, making the other girl glance up at last to give a sideways look as if to say 'and where would we go?' That, as always, only made Witt laugh and Felicity rested her head once more.
"We could go anywhere. Far away, to some place where we would both be happy. Where we could eat until we were full, play every day, and not worry about... The other stuff." Subconsciously they both absently rubbed their arms, matching welts and darkened bruises there as badges of distinction that showed that each had earned the darkened view of the world around them that they had. Still, where as Felicity simply stared out at the bleak and colorless world with unfeeling indifference, Witt always seemed to be smiling. That never did make sense to Felicity.
"I want to go to Alvadas one day." came the response after several chimes of silence, "I heard from a sailor from a trade ship that the city is like nothing else in Mizahar. The buildings move on their own, and the flowers sing and it's hard to tell whats real from whats not."
Looking up Felicity rested her chin on her hands, head tilted to look toward Witt who was smiling up at the reddening sky, distance coming to her eyes as she began to imagine such a place. It made Felicity feel something, deep down toward her gut. A tightening, almost sick feeling that made her eyes want to close and never open again.
"I don't think that is a place for me." Felicity said, looking down at her toes as they curled against the dirt of the cobble stones, "You should go, if that is what you want." She wasn't sure she actually meant what she said.
"Don't be stupid Fel." Her laughter was like a sudden summer rain, falling quick and hard to strike small bullets that spread soothing water over her burning skin, "If I go you are coming with me. It's a promise."
"A Promise?" It was less of a question than a statement, and when Felicity looked up she almost could not bear the brightness of the smile presented to her. Those eyes, so ordinary and uninteresting at first glance, why did they suddenly seem so beautiful in the deepening reds and yellows of the passing day? A chill went up Felicity's spine and she looked away again, unable to bear what she saw there, and knowing she could not reflect that same feeling back at that girl.
A hand caught her chin, forcing her head back around and her eyes to open and stare at those hazel eyes, that short cut hair and baggy clothing. That smile that captivated her and made something, deep inside begin to well, flow as if to run over the rim of her fragile cup.
"Yes, a promise." Witt repeated, sliding closer and catching Felicity's hand in both her hers, "Promise we will go together one day. Promise?"
She couldn't do it, Felicity knew it. She could not promise with so much conviction, for as much as Witt glowed with warmth and passion, Felicity smoldered like a dying fire, cold creeping in at the edges at all times to consume everything in ice. But still... Witt made her want to at least try.
"Alright." Felicity said, pulling the corners of her mouth upward and pushing her cheeks up to show a full tooth smile, "I promise."
There was no way she could be that sincere, that compassionate, that driven... but for Witt, Felicity at least wanted to try.