A Fever Hotter Than The Desert

by **Noah Amuel** on December 28th, 2015, 10:28 pm

Interesting or not, his eyes remained at the bottom of his teacup, his body shifting uncomfortably against what he assumed to be her gaze. He wanted to avoid it, the deep sea eyes, lest he be drawn into their currents again, unable to swim to safety and ultimately confess what he could not physically pronounce. He shifted again, placed his hand uneasily on the armrest while the other held the teacup by the handle. Slowly his eyes creeped over the brim of the cup, falling to the handle that his fingers clasped firmly, tensely. Unease remained in his person, nervous jitters spiking through his muscles at random intervals.

Her words came at a frightening volume, not that they were loud, but because they were piercing. In fright, he jumped, eyes straining to remain on the handle of the cup, ears opening to listen. She asked if he had ever delivered a beautiful letter, one she described earlier. At first he shrugged, a hasty thing, then he spoke, “I don’t really look at them, usually they’re in a bundle with other letters.” He took a moment to think further, eyes circling the brim of his cup. “I guess there was this one from a woman at the Mithryn Outpost who wanted to get a letter to her husband who was working here in the city. The parchment was white and signed with curly, dark letters. It was pretty to look at, easy to read because the letters were connected so… nicely. If I remember correctly the letter was wrapped up in ribbon, red ribbon. I thought it was pretty.” He shrugged again, quieting down.

He looked up then to affirm his words with a glance, a light tug at the corners of his mouth in a smile. Afterwards he leaned forward and took her cup from the coffee table, rising to stand and move towards what was her kitchen. He set the cups on the countertops but lingered in the distance, letting himself breath. He turned to face her, resting against the counters. He wondered how people did it, swallow their pride and simply, fearfully, state what they wanted to state. Weren’t they afraid of the consequences like he was? In any other situation he would’ve taken the leap by now, that’s what hunting was about in his mind, taking the leap once you’ve had enough information to safely execute your killing maneuver.

Unfortunately this was not a hunt and Elann was not a prey animal. She was a person, she was his person, bondmate, friend. She held so many titles so near to his otherwise distant heart, he viewed it as an impossibility that she could take on more, that she could take on the title greater than friend, a title whose name eluded him. ‘Lover’ was the word that eluded him, but did he want a lover, did he see that in Elann? He set his jaw, crossing his legs at the ankles. “How’re you feeling?” he asked, hoping a question on her wellbeing would distract his obnoxious thoughts.

by **Elann** on December 28th, 2015, 11:35 pm

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Elann was a being who from a young age sought purity and righteousness. To her, there was nothing uneasy about expressing love for someone or to someone. In fact after speaking with Morian, it was even encouraged! That however didn't mean she would run out and be with anyone who showed her love. No, only the deepest sense of love would draw her into matrimony. She could tell now that Noah had a longing for her, she could feel the bonded emotion, drawing her toward him likewise, but she would not be swayed in her resolve.

As she watched him writhe in his emotion, even jumping at her words, she still could not help but think it was cute; sweet. He was so poorly flustered by her and her question, that letting him answer was quite amusing. Eventually though, he did blurt something out and quieted down again. As he looked up, she smiled, at least giving him affirmation that his answer appeased her.

He rose, and she wondered if he was leaving her. Already the cold had begun to seep into her bones. When he reached for her cup, she reached out in gesture, gently touching him; her hand giving him pause. "Please, if there is more, can you pour me some?" She shivered a little on her lower jaw, though as her skin touched his, her fingertips gracing over his skin to briefly stop him, he would feel that her fingertips were strangely hot like the burning sun. It was as though the heat of the desert was in her flesh, like lava could be pouring from her pores at any moment. Even just the radiating heat of her skin was enough to feel warmed as though from a fire, yet inside, she felt cold. Her hand snaked back under the blanket and she flopped backward into the couch again, pulling the blankets tight about her.

Watching Noah walk away from her, she eyed him with an intent gaze and tilted head, drawing in his figure. He was a lanky man, not some Benshira warrior. Still, she was no magnificent specimen either, being quite skinny herself. He was a bit of a child when it came to mentality, but he was sweet and honest with her, never seeking to harm her. He wasn't a very masculine man, bossing her about the place, but when on rare occasion, like this day, when he had forced her to bed, it was always for her benefit. She didn't have to think long on him to know she felt love in her heart for him, perhaps even the possibility of romantic love and longing, but there were important topics of her life he had yet to share with her; feelings at the core of her being. He had never taken an interest to go with her to pray to Yahal and to know deeply the complexities of her culture and who she was as a woman. Still, she looked to him in that same fashion he had looked to her as he moved to pour her tea. His voice sluggishly reached her thoughts and made her take in a sudden breath. Her thoughts had somehow slid her gaze from him to his crossed feet and eventually the floor beneath him, but his voice caused her to spring back, straightening up and she raised her eyebrows.

"I think I'm feeling a bit better. I'm starting to get cold again. How are you feeling?" It was a valid question considering their bond. Thankfully though the fire had started to heat up the room more and more. It wouldn't take long for her to start to feel warm.

Other's Words ~~ My Words ~~ My Thoughts

by **Noah Amuel** on December 29th, 2015, 1:24 am

He turned his back to her, his body facing the counter recalling her want for more tea. He picked up what he remembered as her teacup and moved back to the flaring hearth, where heat greeted him in newfound intensity at his approach. As he moved about, in as much quiet as he could muster, he couldn’t help but think on Elann’s absent-minded stare, the one she possessed moments before his words removed her from the trance. Was it he that she was looking at? Was that the way he looked at her moments before? He swallowed the uncertainty, pulling the kettle down from its hook on the hearth and replacing it, by the handle, on the hook inside the firebox so that the remaining water would reboil.

Her answer to his question came, his arm reaching atop the hearth for the jar of tea. With the tea in hand he heard her own question, one that mirrored his own to her. Hesitation washed over him, dousing him in nervous jitters again. He could hear his heart pound away in his ears and thoughts surge into the void of his mind, leaving him without a word to say. Anxiously he set his jaw and continued working to prepare her tea, hoping that the question would go away. 'How are you feeling?' she had asked, the words the only thing visible to his mind’s eye.

The teaspoon clanged against the brim of the cup, emptying the loose tea leaves into the handled bauble. All he could hear was the fire crackling in front of him, his own shallow breathing, and pounding heart. How was he feeling? he wondered. The question repeated in his psyche. He cycled through the possible answers. He was tired from a poor night’s sleep and a shallow nap on her couch, his head had a dull ache due to caring from Elann under such conditions, his body held a chill that he couldn’t explain despite the heat of the fire, yet at the same time he felt as if he was sweating. Frustratedly he ran a hand through his hair, gripping at the back of his head in a moment of tension. The reasons he listed were all physical, something that she could tell from a glance. He thought back on their agreement, the one he proposed, that they speak what’s in their hearts to avoid deception and unneeded stress.

The silence was creeping, he needed to buy time to sort his thoughts. “I’m okay,” he said, unsure. “There are just some things on my mind.” His eyes fixated on the fire, body stiff as a stone yet jittery all the same.

by **Elann** on December 29th, 2015, 1:48 am

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In silence, her question was met with emptiness for a while. The silence was creeping. It began to dawn on her that the feelings he had for her were so much greater than hers for him. She watched as he struggled within himself, thinking, mentally pacing. Somehow she knew that all she would have to do is tug on their bond and beckon suggestively to him and he would explode with energy. Part of her was afraid of that, longing since a little girl to be married and seeing it as morally wrong to have relations outside of that bond. Her people were fanatical about their weddings, but she herself was no longer the daughter she once was.

She took in a deep breath of nervousness as his hand gripped his hair, the way it did when he was stressing about something. It was no longer a funny situation and it was not cute; something she should toy with. His words, "I'm okay, there are just things on my mind", were true. Elann felt compassion for Noah. He was so sweet that he would likely not leave her side until she released him or went off herself to be apart from him. With a few pre-sniffles, she readied herself to speak, using the cloths to wipe her nose.

"You look tired Noah." She paused. "I'm still feeling tired myself. I think I may go lay down again."

She wasn't sure he would leave her while she was sick, so the best she could do was to leave the room and let him think. Slowly she stood, feeling a little dizzy and wobbly at first. Using the couch for balance, she shed the blankets around her and tucked them underarm. Once she had herself righted, she smiled weakly to him, but kindly.

"If you want, you can bring the tea in there and set it on the bedside table. Please...Get some sleep out here or go lay in your bed at home. I'll be fine. There is heat in here now."

She figured she could change back into her nightgown again rapidly and sneak back into bed before the tea was done. Grabbing her cloths from the table next to her, and having her blankets in tow, she headed to the bedroom, changed into her nightgown, and returned to the bed to snuggle under the warm blankets that awaited her now. Settling in, she readied herself for the tea coming her way and the division between the two of them; not to mention the sleep she needed still.

Other's Words ~~ My Words ~~ My Thoughts

by **Noah Amuel** on December 31st, 2015, 8:27 am

The sound of the crackling fire had consumed him in the momentary silence between his last words and Elann’s beginning words. 'You look tired,' she said, pausing afterwards. In that pause Noah opened his ears to her, despite his anxiety, and her being the causation of it all. Her voice managed to maintain the ability to calm him, if only by a margin. She expressed that she was still tired herself, that she may lay down more. Quiet gratefulness filled him. He nodded, grunting in affirmation. He listened as the couch softly creaked, relieved of Elann’s small weight. Her smile met the side of his face as he had turned, slightly, to view her departure. Still his head was held low and his eyes refused to meet her face, irises following, instead, the strides of her legs carrying her to the doorway.

“I’ll bring it to you,” he replied, letting a breath audibly escape his lips as she disappeared behind the threshold of the bedroom door. Just as the couch had previously been relieved of Elann’s weight, Noah shared the feeling. Glimmers of shame filled his conscience, disappointment in himself, no doubt. He turned back towards the hearth, placed his hands on the uppermost part, then sighed. He was a coward. What possible consequences, no matter how ill, was he afraid of. If it was true, that he loved Elann, then it was true. There was no hiding the fact and she was perceptive enough to know by now, she was simply too polite to voice it, to point it out. Maybe, like him, she hoped that it would pass, that his infatuation with the impossible would venture on like storms always did. His hands gripped the cobblestone until his nails bit into stone. It was easy to envision himself saying he loved her, in fact, he rehearsed saying it many times before in his mind. Turning thoughts into a reality, however, was an insane conception of the psyche, an unignorable absurdity.

The whistle of the kettle made him jump. His heart wrenched from his chest, only stopped by his sternum. Thoughtfully he apologized to Elann; he was certain his fright could be felt in her person as well. The steam shot from the spout of the kettle, the whistle continued on until he reached for it with cloth protected hands to pull it, by the handle, out of the firebox. The whistling died, the heat around the kettle removed. With one hand holding the kettle’s handle, the other reached for Elann’s cup atop the hearth then brought it to the spout of the kettle where he began to pour the scalding water in. Instantly the tea leaves separated themselves in the water, some coming to rest on the rising surface, some floating in the middle, and some resting near the bottom. It was as much as he could see before the clear water took on the honey brown of tea.

Again he replaced the kettle on its hook, what remaining water swashing about as it rocked to a rest. With the cup in hand he stood, thoughtfully droning away in his mind until courage could be mustered. With a breath he gathered as much as he could before turning towards Elann’s doorway, hot cup in hand, heat radiating outwards through the glass into his thinly fleshed palm. Once at the doorway he cast her a smile, one small and wrought with worry. He spotted her, not far from him, snuggled beneath the blankets of her bed, a bed he so desperately wanted to lay with her in. It must be a fantastical thing to do, to share her warmth, to hold and be held, to play with the strands of her hair.

He realized that he was standing there, staring. Sometimes he forgot the world didn’t stop just because he wasn’t consciously present within it. “Hey,” he whispered, carefully taking steps towards the bed she lay. At first he stood over her but, deciding that he wanted to feel more level, he sat down on the edge, turned precariously towards her with the cup in his left hand. He took a breath, eyes focusing on the whining lines of steam billowing up from the tea’s liquid surface. “Elann,” the whisper continued, holding notes of seriousness, “there’s something I need to say to you, something… that I need to tell you.” He raised his right hand to the cup, opening his palm towards the brim. He took a breath then exhaled, the same exhalation gently expelling soft, conjured wind from his hands towards the cup. As the steam lines were blown away he continued.

“Lately, I’ve had these feelings and thoughts I can’t shake. I’ve tried to work them away, hide them from myself. Ever since we bonded they’ve never gone away because the reason for the feelings are always on my mind.” He clasped the cup in both of his hands, reluctantly tearing his eyes from it to place them on Elann, studying the nuances of her face. “You are always on my mind and you won’t go away. Every night, before I fall asleep, I think of you and every morning I think on how the sky could never be as beautiful as your eyes. Not even the sea could be a deeper blue if it tried.”

His eyes faltered in their look on Elann, wavering like his confidence. “I am coward because I can’t say what I want to say, because I’m afraid of what you’ll say, but we promised that we would say what was in our hearts. This is in my heart: the need to protect you from any and everything, even if it meant my own death. Ever since we bonded these feelings have been stronger, but I can’t say them outloud.” He trailed off, creeping eyes rising towards Elann again.

by **Elann** on December 31st, 2015, 10:00 am

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Elann was just starting to get changed into her nightgown when the steam had begun to sound from within the kettle. She could not hear it from behind the quiet of her doorway, but she surely felt his heart jump. It was as if someone had punched her in the chest. Draping an arm across her nude chest, she had wondered for a moment if he had entered into the room and saw her. His voice came from the hearth however, and a great sigh of relief came from her as she all the more rapidly clothed herself and got into bed. Shortly after, she could clearly hear the whistle and knew why he had sent out the apology. It must have scared him for some odd reason.

She arranged everything neatly in its place, awaiting her to be dressed later in the day after her rest had come to an end, and set the cloths aside. Once in bed, she drew up the sheet, feeling their warmth meet her already freezing cold feet. The bed itself was cold, having forgotten the heat that her body had graced it with not even that long ago. Hopefully now though with the fire going strong, she wouldn't feel so freezing. Her two pillows were moved to prop up behind her as she lay back into them, allowing her to sit up slightly and watch the doorway for Noah with expecting eyes.

She could feel tension within her, unexplained, but soon enough he was at her door, giving her familiar smile. She sniffled in anticipation to speak and swallowed as though to clear the dryness from her mouth and lips. He stood at the doorway, just staring at her. As he looked to her, her blanket covered her chest, wrapped tightly about it. Pink dyed cotton in the shape of triangles rose from above the blanket where her breasts were into spaghetti straps, just barely revealing that what she had beneath was far more revealing than he had ever seen of her. It was the first time he had ever seen her shoulders, her upper arms, and her upper chest to neck without having something obstructing the view. Still, she was conservative, shielding herself as best she could from him and yet still having her arms free for tea.

Perhaps he fantasized about her? His predatory eyes all too often took on the familiar long gaze of his eagle form, as though he stared right through her. His gaze was nothing to her though, having lived her life among her people who's eyes were as intense as they came. If anything, she thought his gaze was dulled from what she had grown up with. Shortly after he whispered to her his greeting she sniffed. "Hey..." she said back kindly, awaiting her tea. He stood over her silently, and she blinked a moment, puzzled why he had not handed her her tea yet.

As he lowered himself, she made room for him to sit with ease. Whatever had taken ahold of Noah was serious and the tension within her was difficult to take. Her eyes followed his movement and the releasing of heat from her tea; which frankly at the moment she wanted hot. Still, she didn't stop him and just listened. His words awoke feelings in her, paired with what he himself was feeling, and as he looked into her eyes, studying her face, drawing in her features, her lips parted slightly.

It was hard to tell how she felt by the look on her face, but at his words -- his beautiful words describing her -- she was shaken. When his eyes faltered, she watched him all the more intently, craving to hear more of what he had to say. That couldn't be it, could it? Slowly more came from him and she squinted, trying to hear him as he faced downward from her. He expressed his fear and his care for her. Inside, she knew what words he meant. The words he couldn't say. The words that made him think of her constantly. The words that explained the feelings she felt every day coming from him.

Had she been more attentive to what was inside of her, she would have known he loved her even before the bond. Perhaps not as much as now, and perhaps not in the same way, but he had grown fond of her long ago she imagined; at least if he was this troubled by it. She didn't know what to say. She was at a loss for words herself. Sniffles took her again and feeling the horribly annoying twinge of a tickle coming from her nose, she reached over to grab hold of a cloth. With a stressed laugh she said, "Sorry. Ughh...It waits for nothing..." It was at the worst time, naturally to tickle her.

Once wiped, she flopped her arms down into her lap before realizing the looseness of the blanket across her chest and then returned them to wrap about her. With her left hand she reached out lovingly to brush his upper arm over his shirt. The action said a lot more than her words could about how she felt about what he had said. "I think you love and care for me, and you would do anything to not see that...changed..." She sniffled again. "There is a lot I want to say to you about this," she trailed off as she looked to her tea. He had already felt her love for him in his heart as well as her desire to have him close, but in which regard he didn't know. "I never thought in coming here I'd find someone like you...Someone who looks after me and takes care of me." Tears began to fill her already watery eyes but did not fall. She sniffled all the more and said, "and I take care of you..." she said jokingly with a little laugh. "To begin, I would have never thought of us becoming friends. Over the last couple seasons, I never though of us that we would become family. I never thought I would need you as much as I do...But I do." She reached out and took the tea cup away from him and set it on the bedside table, indicating her seriousness. After dabbing her eyes clear of tears with the cloth, she set it back down and continued.

Returning to her position facing him, she reached out and grasped for his hand. "In my culture, the father and mother arrange marriages for us. There is no real dating period like people do up here. Marriage has been something I have looked forward to since I was a little girl and I've known it would happen this very year of all times. I've known it would take place on my twentieth birthday all my life. I just never knew who to. In the tents of my father, marriage is a large event. Our culture revolves around it as much as survival...and you may not realize it, but when I was disowned...I became unable to marry as my culture demands. I am no longer Benshira. I am something impure to their eyes, but not to Yahal's. He has been with you and I through all the days I have known him, just as Zulrav has been with you and I through the storms of our lives." She hung her head, gently caressing his hand in hers. "I will not live a relationship outside of marriage even if I am not a Benshira. If you think of me like you say, you should know how I feel. And if you desire me like you say...tell me. Don't be afraid."

Other's Words ~~ My Words ~~ My Thoughts

by **Dove Brown** on March 11th, 2016, 5:03 pm

Don't forget to edit/delete your grade request. If you have any questions, comments or concerns regarding your grade, please do not hesitate to send me a PM.

Elann

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