Solo The Balance of Things

[Job Thread] Jaylani learns that she cannot save them all

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Syka is a new settlement of primarily humans on the east coast of Falyndar opposite of Riverfall on The Suvan Sea. [Syka Codex]

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The Balance of Things

Postby Jaylani Rae on August 29th, 2017, 6:19 am


Early Morning of the 4th of Summer 517


The Panacea was a sort of open air clinic for the people of Syka. The ones who ran it were Jansen and Kalum Alavarth, a singular Akalak who had more balance than not between both light and dark brothers. There was something comforting to Jaylani about having an Akalak here in the settlement. Their face was a familiar one. Not so much so because she knew the men well, but because she had grown up in a land full of Akalak. Their race was one that was familiar to her even if she did not know much about it. What Jaylani did know was that each Akalak was two who had to share body and mind. One could not survive without the other even though sometimes they tried. All the mixed blood knew about those who had was that some became too dangerous to be allowed to live as the others lived. Their faces were marked and as a child the mixed blood had been warned to stay away. She heeded the warning, but only because she had always staid away from near everyone and they all -for the most part- had staid away from her.

Anyway, back to Syka’s healing clinic. The mixed blood did not actually work there, though she did like to spend time there. She liked the way the Akalak had set things up and found the place to be a good place to learn. Jansen and Kalum were both willing teachers when she had questions about various things regarding her own work, which was quite often, and always answered her the best they could. While they were not animal healers themselves, they knew more about medicine than Jaylani did. She was still learning. An eager and willing pupil, but still just a student who had to work with what she already knew. She did not mind. There was a need for her work with the animals that were already here and that need would only increase as the paradise settlement grew. She would learn and until then, when she needed it, she would ask for help.

Earlier in the morning, when Syna was just starting to rise to her place in the sky, Jaylani had been out walking the edge of the jungle. She had not been searching for anything in particular, just poking her head around and exploring. Normally she would have been walking the beach, but since that was her usual she had decided to shake it up. Something within her had been restless and longing for change. Not one to take very long to think about anything, the mixed blood had listened and changed her usual morning routine. It ended up being a very good change, as well, for the mixed blood had come across something she thought in need of her attention.

Syka had many when it came to chickens and pigs. They were not overrun, but there was enough that no one in the small settlement would soon be hungry for pork or in need of eggs. In fact, if they did not often take from the abundant pig population that roamed along the beaches than it was likely they would become overrun in a rather short amount of time. The creatures seemed to always be reproducing. While Jaylani was not a fan of animal death, she understood the need for it. To some extent anyway. She knew that not everything and everyone could live forever. The world would become too full and there would be no balance in the way things were suppose to be. Part of being a lover of nature and a follower of Caiyha was knowing that Dira had her place as well. It was all about making sure the balance between life and death was kept.

Still, when Jaylani found what she found it had not felt right to just leave the creature there. It had still been breathing. Whether it was meant to die or not, it had not felt right to leave it to suffer. Either end the life or mend it. Jaylani was one to try everything she could to mend the life. It was only when there was no other way for the suffering to end that she would concede to ending a life.

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Jaylani Rae
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The Balance of Things

Postby Jaylani Rae on August 29th, 2017, 6:21 am


The injuries had not been caused by the hand of a man or woman. Only an animal could have done this. A predator likely who had been scared off somehow before finishing the job. Whatever it had been had possessed some wicked claws and likely sharp teeth as well. What had the pig even been doing so close to where a predator might be lurking? Jaylani decided it best not to try and delve into the mind of a pig. She was childlike and enjoyed the company of animals more than anything else, but she did not pretend that she actually understood them or could tell how exactly their minds worked. She knew a few things. Like, for one, an animal had instincts that they used to survive. This pig, despite whatever its instincts had been upon seeing the predator, had not gotten away fast enough. Perhaps it had been a goner from the start anyway.

The mixed blood did not honestly know how the pig had still been alive upon her arrival. There had been large, nasty, slash marks down the whole of its side. Teeth marks had punctured its shoulder that still bled when she found it. She should have known it was a goner right then and there. She should have just put it out of its misery then, just gotten it over with. Jaylani had been too tender hearted for that, though. She had been unwilling to see what was inevitable. So she had crouched down beside the pig and tried to assess the damage.

Jaylani had not brought anything with her on her morning walk along the jungle border. Not that she had very much to begin with. Just some half grown herbs in pots, some of which she was unsure that they were going to live. She had planned to go to Uta’s place sometime this day and get some advice, but that plan had been quickly derailed upon finding the pig. Other than that Jaylani did not have all the equipment she was going to need to do her job as well as it needed to be done. She needed supplies even as simple as bandages. For now she had been using what she could buy and trade for from Jansen and Kalum. Soon, though, she would need to reach out to the outside world for supplies and make an order at the mercantile for what she wanted James to bring back for her on his next run to Riverfall.

So, with nothing in hand to help the injured animal except for her hands themselves, Jaylani crouched down on her knees by the pigs head. She was calm, but her heart was racing. She had not known what she was going to do. What there even was to do. She had tried to touch the pig, bring it some peace somehow, but the thing had just become frightened under her touch. It squealed and she pulled back, her forehead wrinkling with concern. Touching it had made the animal suddenly frantic to try to get up, but it was only hurting itself by doing that. Jaylani could tell by the fact that more blood was coming out and spilling over the sand the more it moved.

“Oh stop, please stop,” Jaylani begged, trying to figure out a way to calm the creature down, “you only make worse doing that.”

Jaylani’s eyes were lined with her concern. What was she going to do? There was also the thought of, what if the predator came back? What was she going to do then? The mixed blood knew she would not have been able to fight it off. Not only did she have no weapons on her, but she did not even wield any weapons besides a quarterstaff and even that she wielded poorly at the time. It was not a weapon that would have been useful against some animal with claws and fangs. Likely an animal like that would have just snapped the wooden pole in half. Jaylani had shivered at the thought. She did not want to stay here with the animal that was bleeding. The blood would only attract predators, the one that originally did this along with others. The mixed blood decided then that she needed to move the animal. Move it and figure out what she was going to do afterwards.

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Jaylani Rae
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The Balance of Things

Postby Jaylani Rae on August 29th, 2017, 6:23 am


Moving a pig, even a small one like this one happened to be, was not an easy task for a woman of Jaylani’s build. While she was strong and her hands callused, she was not capable of lifting a hundred plus pounds her her own for any extended period of time. Even dragging the pig was hard. Plus, there was the added pressure of it not wanting to be moved. It squealed and fought against her. Likely because it though she was the predator come back to finish the job. Jaylani begged and begged for it to stop getting upset, but it only quieted when it had lost too much blood and energy to keep fighting. It slowly became apparent to Jaylani that the creature was giving up. That it would not likely be long now.

“No, no. No leave. Not yet,” Jaylani insisted, frantically looking around.

The goal suddenly turned from saving the animal’s life to figuring out what could take its pain away. What could she do to make its hurting a little less? Even if she had figured a way out, it would have been too late. It already was by the time she switched her frame of thought. Even if she had had the medicine on hand already to take away all pain, it would not have kicked in on time. She did not have a healing gnosis like Jansen and Kalum. She could not just lay her hand on the pig and take away what she could so that it might pass peaceful into Dira’s arms. Instead, the mixed blood failed to even notice the animal’s death until several chimes after it happened. She had been too busy frantically searching the border of the jungle for something to help to notice.

When Jaylani turned around from her search and looked at the pig a moment, she realized that it was not even shallowly breathing anymore. At first she thought that maybe she was just missing the breaths because they had slowed, but after staring at the beast for a chime or so it became obvious. She had failed. The one who was suppose to be a healer of animals had failed. It took her several more moments to realize that. Jaylani crouched down beside the pig and placed a hand on its head. It did not squeal. Did not even react. It was gone. Tears began to well up in her eyes.

“No!” she shrieked, “no.. I am sorry. I am so so sorry.”

The mixed blood cried. She did not often cry, but she cried now. It was hard to tell if the crying was because of her grief for the life lost or because of her own failure to do anything to help. She had not even killed it so that its pain could end sooner. Instead she had made its pain worse by trying to move it. She had caused it to bleed out faster. Caused it more fear than it had already gone through in the day. What she had done had been wrong. She was seeing that now through the tears in her eyes. She should have put her need to save aside. This had not been a case for saving. This had been a case to end pain before that pain caused the end. She had done the opposite. ‘Some animal healer I am..’

Jaylani squeezed her eyes shut and let the tears fall in big droplets down to where the pig lay still and the ground that surrounded them. She cried for long chimes after, just wallowing in her grief and self pity. She hated failing, but she hated the pain of another creature more. Why had she not just let its finally moments come sooner so that it could have died in a little less pain than it had been in in the end? Jaylani asked herself that multiple times, but she never had a good answer for herself. It was just her nature to be too stubborn. Too determined to do the right thing that it made her blind sometimes to what the right thing to do actually was.

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Jaylani Rae
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The Balance of Things

Postby Jaylani Rae on August 29th, 2017, 6:24 am


Jaylani sat there for what felt like many bells just crying her eyes out. In truth, though, it was only probably about twenty chimes that passed by before she was standing and trying to figure out what to do now with the dead pig body. She knew she should tell someone who would know what to do with it. Someone who would turn it into food or dispose of it if it was no good to be consumed. Left where it was it would only attract predators. The settlement did not need that. Not anymore than it already had to deal with that. So Jaylani cast one last long look at the dead animal, so sad that she had not successfully been able to help, before she began walking back towards the settlement to find someone to tell.

How the mixed blood ended up at the Panacea was somewhat unknown to her. She had gotten to somewhere else where she found Mathias and told him about the dead animal along with where it was. She did not remember telling him what had happened, but there was blood all over her. Hands and arms were covered, the clothing that covered her was in need of a good washing. She suspected it was him who had gotten her to the Akalak healer who operated the healing clinic, though she could not be sure. Everything was a blur. She was so consumed by the fact that she had failed to properly do her job. Everything else in the world felt suddenly unimportant.

“You want to talk about it?” Jansen asked her, his voice calm and meant to be comforting.

Jaylani knew that he had already checked her over for injuries. She was uninjured though. It was just her mind that felt foggy and clouded now. Though she no longer cried. Her tears had dried just as the blood on her hands had.

“No,” Jaylani answered truthfully, earning her a sigh from the Akalak.

“You sure?” he asked as if he was not convinced her answer was truthful.

Jaylani nodded, curling up on the cot she was sat on. She laid over on her side and hugged her knees to her chest. How was she suppose to continue on with her day now that what had happened had happened? The mixed blood was not convinced that she could. She knew that by tomorrow everything would be alright, but in these moments things did not feel that way. Nothing felt alright. Everything felt wrong. The mixed blood let out a little whimper. The Akalak turned to her and started to ask once more after her wellbeing, but Jaylani shook her head before words came out. No, she was not currently alright. No, she did not want to talk about it. The male nodded, reluctantly, and went off to attend whatever else he had to do this day.

It was nearing the middle of afternoon when Jaylani finally picked herself up. She was not feeling much better, but she was tired of sulking. It was not productive to just sit and wallow in ones sorrows. So, she left the healing clinic with just a word to tell Jansen and Kalum that she was leaving before she made her way down to the ocean. She was very slow in her walking, but she did not care. Her world that was usually full of so much color was looking awfully grey to her at this time. Even the sparkling blue waves of the ocean looked sadder. Maybe not grey, but they were certainly not the same waves the mixed blood was used to looking at. She went down to them anyway, though. She wished to wash off all the blood and salt water was one way of doing that.

The mixed blood could not swim. She did not like to admit that because it was embarrassing to live in Syka and not know how to swim in her opinion, but it was true of her. As a child she had missed out on learning so many things and swimming had been one of those things despite so many hours spent on the beach. So, with her lack of swimming in mind, the mixed blood only went to where the water came just past her knees. It was there that she knelt down in the sand and plunged her hands into the salt filled water. She began scrubbing the dried blood off, taking a long time to make sure she got every spec.

Purging the dried blood from her clothes was harder, but not impossible. Salt water worked wonders. Jaylani pulled at the fabric and twisted it in her hands. The fabric stretched and became drenched, but the woman did not care. She did not even care about her clothing on a good day. Besides, the fabric would dry and all would be fine. That was what she told herself as she did her best to get the stains out. She was in the water for a good bell just washing herself of all the crimson liquid. After she just got out and began wandering home.

It was a slow, long journey back, but at least it gave plenty of change for one to think. Jaylani did a lot of that. Lots of thinking. Mostly of what she had done wrong this day, but also what she would do differently in the future. One thing she was sure about, if a situation like this ever came up again, she would take away the animal’s pain long before she made it worse. At least, that was what she told herself she would do. If she stuck with it.. well, that would remain to be seen.

Common | 'Thoughts'

Word CountPost Total: 955
Overall Total: 46,732


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Jaylani Rae
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Posts: 68
Words: 119464
Joined roleplay: June 30th, 2017, 2:54 am
Race: Mixed blood
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