New Year Musings It’s hard to write some introspection when children are playing Wii right in front of you. And when one of those children starts shouting at you just because you didn’t watch the little children which is essentially her job. But I’ll try. The old year is gone ... and although I never have things I promise myself to do in the New Year, I do this time. There’s a single goal I’d like to see accomplished. A little longer than a year ago, in November, I almost won a regional writing contest. Although it was a pretty small thing and taking place for the first time in 2009, I was very proud. That was the first real accomplishment and the first step towards a career as published writer. Shortly after, I got second at another writing contest, even smaller, but that earned me a coupon worth 20 euro. I never got anything for my writing before, so that I considered that to be a huge change back then (not so much now). Anyway, while I also won NaNoWriMo in 2009, I didn’t write much apart from that. In 2010, I continued writing my NaNo novel, but only finished several months after November. Throughout the next year, I continued writing and started with two or three novel ideas, but never got as far as during NaNo. Looking back, it sounds like a year of experimenting. I wrote fantasy and realistic fiction. When the next NaNoWriMo came around, I decided for the genre to be something in between. I wanted to write realistic fiction, but not exclusively, so I added some surreal stuff and the general rule that not even the writer should know what was reality and what imagination or dreams. With those thoughts in mind, I wrote through my second NaNo novel (Cirque de Éclipse Solaire or Circus of Solar Eclipse). Last NaNo was even more of a challenge than the one before, because while I wrote 4k on the first day, I only continued at the 9th and had to keep up a suicidal pace for the rest of November. However, I hit the goal one day before the deadline. Determined to finish more quickly than last time, I completed that novel in December. Or rather, I almost completed it since I still need to add some last sentences, but let’s not talk about that. Reflecting on the past is always connected to anticipating the future, in my opinion. So, my plan is to continue writing and fasten my pace. I want to be able to write at NaNo pace the entire year long. That has actually been my goal since I first did NaNo, but I know that I’ve grown since then. This NaNo, I’ve done twice the required word count for half of the month. I think I’m able to do it if I remember focus and discipline. To enforce that, I’ll participate in JanNoWriMo, starting today. I already started writing my new novel. It’s titled The Immortals (working title for now) and revolves around five people living in a cottage with their own inner problems and establishing relationships. Basically, I throw five totally different personalities into a house to see whether they can live together. The entire novel should span several years and really show realistic character development. I mean, real people don’t change completely over the course of two or three months, do they? No, they don’t unless something very severe happens to them. Anyway, I’m excited and curious to see how that project will be going. I don’t worry so much about the deadline, but more about balancing writing and school. After all, I not only have to write 1,700 words a day, but also keep up with my two PCs and city moderation at Mizahar and a few other, smaller RPGs. I’m pretty sure I’ll have to discard at least some of the smaller stories in favor of my more important writing projects. But there’ll always be sacrifices. Imagination is too big for reality which is only natural. The last few days I’ve been relaxing and doing not much, apart from one or two hours of school work and some RPG writing. I’ve mostly read books and manga, watched anime and listened to music and did funny family stuff. Oh, something else: I’ve learned that many people have some kind of family drama which is why they dislike visiting family around Christmas and New Year. Although I’ve been exposed to some family drama with my mum and grandma this year, I didn’t really notice much. I’ve been told before actually visiting, and now I don’t really see any difference. It’s mostly about my grandma’s negativity and rants. We can avoid those easily. Apart from that, we enjoy the time with my uncle and his family. They have three daughters, 13, 3 and 2 years old, so it’s really lively most of the time. It’s also quite noisy, but I’ve gotten used to that by now. Anyway, what I’ve been doing has refilled my pool of inspiration. I’ve been thinking about doing something original. A few days ago I saw that someone had wished me Merry Christmas – someone I hadn’t read anything from for an entire year. She is probably the most inspiring person I’ll ever meet. Her stories and blog entries are infused with some kind of literary spirit. She knows how to be dramatic. I love reading every word from her. Although she is a wreck in real life, her words are wonderful. I even dare to say that only because she is depressive in real life, she is able to produce such beautiful writing. In her blog, she’s so painfully honest that you’re fascinated and shocked at the same time when reading it. She doesn’t try to be someone else in her blog, although it says that she acts all the time in her real life. Anyway, she really inspires me. Reading her new blog has given me the idea of aiming for something different. I don’t know whether I’ve actually tried doing that before, but I long for something that’s completely and utterly MINE. I long for something that screams: “This is the most original idea only Alice can have!” So, I’m currently cooking something up. I’ll do some analyzing stuff too, genre-wise. What has been done before, what has been successful before. I want to be successful with a completely new idea nobody has thought about before. That probably sounds like a revolution of literature, but I don’t think about that yet. I’d simply like to come up with a very original idea and do something with it. Enjoy the feeling of owning something that’s my original idea. Maybe that is a sign of development. Writing up some physical and personality information about a character, deciding on their temper and which deity they worship isn’t enough anymore – when speaking in terms of RPG character creation. Maybe what I’m looking for is an ‘image’. For example, Kamalia Timandre has the image of a Konti mage which basically means that she is a serene, ethereal creature with a tendency to pour all her energy into magic. Of course, there are more aspects to her image, but that’s the summary. When reading about Iredeth, a new Symenestra character, I was fascinated by her image as well. Her image is defined through her doll-making and her belief that dolls can indeed be living, breathing creatures. That gives her a goal as well which is quite nifty. (That’s why I love the Featured Character and Featured Thread so much – they open one’s eyes for interesting characters and the interviews/descriptions help define their ic image.) I even got an idea for a different Symenestra character, but after some consideration I think I can do even better than that. Well, that’s it. I’d love to come up with a new, original character, although I know it’s not a good idea, especially since school starts again at the 10th. But I’ve gotten far enough with my self-confidence that I don’t care anymore. (I actually feel more self-confident, more stable now. I blame it on writing. It’s really like a therapy.) I’ll have fun as long as I have enough time. What will be after that? I’ll decide when I get to it. I wish everyone a Happy New Year. May 2011 be filled with learning, success and happiness. |