[Calamity's Scrapbook] Driving Down Rainbow Road

[Calamity]

Google Chrome I've been a Firefox user for many years. It was convenient, fast, customisable, free, and didn't talk back when I told it to load the goddamn site. This all changed recently when I attempted to upgrade to Firefox 4. All of a sudden, the .exe is sucking up all my CPU and not even hinting at opening. Thinking I had a memory leak, I restarted my computer. Nothing. Reinstalled Firefox. Nothing. Well, that was frustrating. I downgraded to Firefox 3.6 eventually, after searching all over the Mozilla website netted me no help what so ever. There, I was in for a nasty surprise - Firefox had taken the liberty to delete my bookmarks, install Yahoo toolbar, and then generally fuck around with my settings. I am a creature of habit. If something that has been the same in my life for a long time suddenly changes, I do not like it and will usually freak out. Of course, I am at work, and I cannot do such a thing because then I would be cut off from my primary source of money, something that is rather important to me. So, I am attempting to fix this glitch when I remember that a while back, I installed Google Chrome for website testings (Part of my work involves website development), and it had imported all my settings from Firefox. I could still fix everything! So, I checked Chrome to see if my settings were all still there. Then... well, I couldn't help but notice how quickly it loaded. The themes were nice too. And look, they had add-ons, just like Firefox! Oh, Firebug and Adblock had Chrome versions? Oooh, an addon that automatically pauses Youtube videos! This theme has colors! Two hours later, Google Chrome has perfectly assimilated with my internet life. I guess I'm only a creature of habit when everything isn't pretty. Character Update! Materia now exists! Not much else to say there, other than no, her name was not chosen via Final Fantasy, but instead for the meaning: 'full of life'. I still need to pick a place to start her in, of course. I'm not taking her to Lhavit for obvious reasons, and though I toyed with the idea of going in Syliras, I think I'd rather one of the more exotic places. I'll have to keep thinking about it. As a matter of fact, if anyone plays a thief or character with a fondness for jewelry and wouldn't mind having a ghost companion for a while, hit me up! I wouldn't mind someone to work off. In other news, Tao hit Jiina with a rock. Even I didn't see that one coming. Though if he was going to snap on someone, it was probably going to be her. >.>

[Calamity]

I shouldn't let it frustrate me, but it does. I shouldn't let it get me down, but it really, really, does. To feel like nothing you do will ever measure up or be good enough is one of the worst things in the entire world. Why bother trying in the first place if no one is interested? Why bother putting yourself out there if everyone's just going to huddle in their little groups and ignore you? If my opinion and my ideas are so very important, then I shouldn't have to throw them your feet, hoping that you'll notice them when they get stuck to your shoe. So, it's not that I don't try, or that I can't. It's that I won't. I won't put myself out there to be ripped apart for not kissing the right asscheek and playing your petty little games. I won't waste my time and effort on something that's just going to get shoved it up my ass the first time I dare turn my back. I shouldn't let it upset me, and I won't be anymore. It's not worth it. You're not worth it.

[Calamity]

The man who was like a grandfather to me is dying. He's stopped the blood transfusions that were keeping him alive and he's beginning to fade away. ... If I'm not around for a while, you'll understand why. And please, no comments. I don't really want consolations. There's nothing you can say that will make this better.

[Calamity]

I'm afraid I've been gone for a while without any notice to anyone, and I've returned only with more bad news for the few of you who I've really played with on Miz.

I've come to the decision to retire as a staff member, and with a little more reluctance, I'll also be closing down Tao and Materia.

I don't have the time for Mizahar anymore, not really. I have so much drama on my plate in real life right now that it just saps and drains me to the point where I've got no patience or enjoyment for this site. And, to be honest, it had been fading for quite some time before this all went down, even before I became staff.

I had hoped that getting more involved and having something a little more than Tao and his very frustrating inability to move forward as a character would rekindle some of the love I had for the place when I first arrived. Unfortunately... it, well, didn't. There's not much else to say there.

I know this probably doesn't mean too much to the community at large, but to my friends at Lhavit and the other people I've gotten to know over my short time here, I'm really very sorry about this. I do wish that it could be different, but I know myself, and I know that Mizahar and I just aren't going to work out.

I did have some really good times while I was here, and I grew as a writer and as a roleplayer, and I really appreciate that. It's just time for me to move on.

So, this is goodbye. Thanks for everything, and good luck to all of you in the future.