10,000 Posts
I have always been very opinionated. Even as a child I was sure and certain, but normally only after a lot of contemplation and reflection on whatever the topic was. It got me in trouble a lot because in certain places it never pays to make older people look like fools by pointing out something that should be obvious. But in later years, it made me feel slightly brilliant in the science field. I'm just an average person though, but every time I feel brilliant, it helps me feel like there's a reason I'm here. I can tell you stories about being a biologist that still bring a big smile to my face, and truthfully some of the things I started doing in the field are still in use today. And even though I miss being a biologist, I wouldn't go back to being one for the world. Why? There were too many battles to fight, too much nonsense in government that equated to stupidity on the ground, and too much song and dance to make sure that people always came before the environment and its denizens. I got really tired of the self important nature of folks - and of the lies I found time and time again in the people that were supposed to be liberal and pro-environment. The truth I found walking the world as a scientist has never left me, and to this day it has made me a conservative through and through. I witnessed first hand state officials in the name of 'law' raping and pillaging the landscape while private industry who used it for a profit showed excellent stewardship on par with a parent lovingly raising a child.
It changed me... my time in the field. It changed me in ways that stomped out the idealist in me and transformed me into a realist who has made her artform of being outspoken first and foremost. I care very little for people that have an opinion but never share it and most importantly the why behind it. I also care very little for the people that refuse to listen when someone else is making a point because its equated to wasted years in my past. I tend not to give them the time of day, especially after trying to tell them something different.
How does this relate to Mizahar? Easily enough. I got started in PbP's in 2006 when I stumbled upon a game that while full of fabulous people was ran very poorly. The owner thought highly of himself and his business savvy, though in truth he was failing on so many fronts it wasn't even funny. Most importantly, he was lying and not catching his lies in time to save face. I didn't realize this until I started helping to run the site. Prior to that, the only thing I really noticed was that frankly it was ugly. Totally ugly. Mental and visual puke come to mind. And truthfully no amount of formatting can dress up a forum if the people there don't have any skill or the code to do it. They didn't even allow pictures in threads, for gods sakes, which was something of a crime. Their magic system was a mess... it looked like someone ripped off D&D, Cyberpunk, and Call of Cthulu and locked them into a room together until they were forced to breed and spit out some hybridization that simply DID NOT WORK. Their 'compendium' was made up of directly ripped off unicorns, and flying kitty cats, and creatures that were frankly cut and pasted directly from AD&D's monster manuals 1 - 40,000. It was sad because so many people had tried to 'fix' it to make it better, but in the end it wasn't really salvageable - especially as is - because things built of stolen material never truly are worth the weight of what they are built on. Putting band-aids on things never really fixes what is broken. But that was a lesson they haven't ever learned. I did implement a whole lot of things while I was there. I got the people in charge to allow images in posts, then created a city that was unrivaled in its aesthetics in which everyone tried to emulate thereafter. Some people were even successful... but I still have the satisfaction of knowing they were there YEARS before me and never thought outside of the box until I showed up. They were just posting machines, doing the same old thing, the same old way... to this day I'm not sure why I stayed. I think I saw all this potential unfulfilled. And I'm glad I did. I met an incredible group of friends there. But when I started sitting on their equivalent of a board of directors, it became laughable.
The owner of the site finally pushed too many of my buttons. The best thing the site owner ever said to me - the thing that enraged me - was that they called the people that played the site without paying - FREELOADERS. That was, at the time, about 80% of the playerbase (its way more now). Those freeloaders were my buddies, my friends, and people I really admired because they could write. It goes back to the age old adage of 'Don't bite the hands that feeds you.' The owner bit and I had no problems deciding there and then if we could do it another way - a better way - we should. I was best friends with Liminal and when he decided to pull away from that site due to the management, I felt like I had no choice. Liminal, for all his silly ways, was something of an ethical compass for me. He still is. And when hes had enough, you know its getting bad. The man has sadness in him, but often times his joy outshines that sadness to such a bright extent that its hard not to be blinded by it. I often feel unworthy of his friendship truth be told, though hes always kind to me and never makes me feel so. We have a sibling beauty and the beast type relationship, only hes the lovely pure beauty and I'm of course the beast. He makes no apology for me, and this day and age doesn't even try to check my baser instincts - though if I ever got out of line he surely would be the one that would have no problem saying 'Jen, what in the world are you thinking?'. So, I have that site to thank for my friendship there.
I also met someone else there I truly admired. I have an acute sense of fairness and perfection and a bullshit meter that will go off the charts... but I finally met someone that makes me look like a newborn kitten when it comes to the art of striving for perfection. Its a beautiful burdonsome gift to be made of stuff that doesn't allow you to really ever be told you 'can't' do something. That someone is our beloved Tarot. Tarot has a bullshit meter that puts my little internal buzzer on par with those cute little thumb chimes they put on children's bikes while his tolls like the Liberty Bell used too. Someone tells him something thats bs and it takes him less than five minutes (normally five seconds) to either think about what they said and come up with five or ten reasons as to why thats not possible... or see through what they are saying to understand the whole truth. He notices details... so many little details it builds for him a bigger puzzle. I always thought that the writer must have modeled the main character in National Treasure after Tarot... and let me tell you its pretty incredible having a fact filled fact finding friend like he is. It brings respect for human intelligence to a whole new level. You might not know it talking to him, but once you get to know him its blatantly obvious. He has a gift... several in fact... for never giving up, learning new things, and being a pioneer in the pbp sector. That is how I see it. So, being so focused on details, it also made him one of the best writeup producers I've ever seen. His writeups are detailed, they make sense, and conduct a sense of wonder to the reader that inspires others to simply go out and write. They want to learn his skills. They want to produce his magic. It's like Tarot is a provider of wonderful paints and canvas'... all the players have to do is produce artwork with them. And they truthfully do.
But getting back to being disenchanted. I have this philosophy. Put up or shut up. If you can do something so wonderfully, then why the hell don't you go do it? Don't talk about it. Do it. I can't tell you how many times I say that. I even say that to new roleplayers - show don't tell. I really really wanted to show what I could do. I think Liminal was on board immediately too. But the problem was... I couldn't go build a site on my own. There's no way. Neither could Liminal. I have trouble turning on my computer sometimes, let alone configuring an entire set of forums, the support structure behind them, security, backups, and interfacing wiki software. My brain doesn't work that way so its not going to be something I can do. Tarot didn't exactly have the immediate skills either, because these boards aren't his main field. He had the subsequent skills though to produce the immediate skills. And the result was fantastic. I think Tarot found himself really enjoying the frustration, the challenge, and then the ease at which he produced this site. I know it took incredibly long hours, quite a few new skills having to be learned spot on, and making friends and reading some work of others to figure out just exactly how to run the game successfully and have search bots index us properly, search engines list us, and how to acquire new players. And if I were him, I'd be sitting back looking at these boards and going ... "Look at what I can do?" He was never appreciated elsewhere - because he was too much of a threat - people just simply liked him better because hes easier to deal with, honest, and shoots straight from the hip unlike a lot of other admins on other sites.
But... I find it funny too, almost daily, that he's never going to be 'done' with Mizahar. He's always finding a new or better way to promote us... to tweak our boards... to allow bots to scurry over us with glee. You have to love him for that. If I met a player that didn't love Tarot, I'd totally know it was someone not suitable for this site... the reason being the whole premise of Mizahar is to dare to be different. We're different. He made us so.
So do our players, especially the newer ones that know nothing about us, our history, or where we came from and why. Because, truth be told, we didn't want to bring many from the old site over here. They were simply too used to bickering, the politics, and putting up with a lot of BS we didn't want here. So we plodded away at Mizahar for a few months until I was really acutely aware that we weren't ever going to get open unless we recruited some help. Colombina and Cayenne soon joined us, and Gillar started taking us a lot more seriously. With the six of us working, things really came together a lot faster than I expected. I truthfully needed them too because I was missing roleplaying and wanted a canvas to paint so to speak.
Now, looking back, none of us had any idea of we were going to succeed. It took a little convincing and a whole lot of work on a number of avenues. I remember a late night discussion on the skills system - because I thought limiting skills was absolutely insanely stupid - most people agreed. I remember waiting for GP to produce magic and be incredibly impressed when he did. I remember Cayenne and I working on gods and goddesses and placing city names on the map. I have loved every minute of this journey. I really have. And I wouldn't trade it for the world. We have a magic system, a skills system, a gnosis system and a lores venue that really works. I enjoy it. Its player driven, player controlled, and moderator light.
And most importantly, it attracts new blood. We get folks from all over the place - writing sites - word of mouth - googlers - folks stalking top ten lists - and countless other ways.
And who would have thought that 10,000 posts later we have what I think is a fairly successful site that is blooming with new pcs and new ideas and providing a home for lost roleplayers that are longing still for the days of tabletop while living a life where time doesn't allow for such horrible wastes of time anymore. I can't imagine my life without Mizahar. And we have provided a framework and a safe sense of community where I truly see the players here as family and friends. We may not always see eye to eye, but I'm going to treat them with the respect and enthusiasm each and every one of them deserves. And above all - I'm going to keep being honest and saying what I think - because that is who I am. And who I am, just like who any of the founders are, is what makes Mizahar what it is. This is our world, and we open its doors and invite you to make it yours as well.
Thank you for the 10,000 posts. It's been an amazing ride. I can only imagine what we've done and seen when we reach 100,000. I don't know if you guys realize this, but the last major PBP that folded had just over 200,000 posts and that was after being open years and years and years. If we stay on schedule and keep growing the way we have, we're going to hit that far sooner (and under a year) than the last site that went down. That's phenomenally good news. So thank you, from the bottom of our hearts, to our contributors. Those are the people that write on this site, hang out in chat, create writeups, volunteer storyteller, and donate funds for site costs.
We appreciate it and are truly glad to call you friends and family. |