[Flashback] At Square Number One (Auldwin)

[Growl]

Berend nodded. "In a way, it can be compared to your getting tired. Running out of the energy and the drive you need to do things," Berend explained. "You're utilizing your power, depleting soul mist, sapping your strength in order to materialize," he went on, oversimplifying things. "You are using up a small portion of yourself in order to push it outwards, to make yourself seem more tangible," he tried again, not so sure he had gotten it right that time either. "It take a lot of time, practice, and concentration to get yourself to a point where you can materialize your entire body and not just a portion of it. It takes an even greater amount of time to learn how to keep up that form for more than a few seconds." The man simply sighed, "everything just takes time and practice." There was a pause as Berend ran his hand through his ghost hair again. "You'll get better at it, if you keep trying, and it won't tire you out as much the more and more you practice. The more you accustom yourself to materializing... but for now, you have probably more than taxxed yourself. If you wait, however, your soulmist will replenish itself naturally, and you'll feel a lot less tired. Or, you could have a spiritist make you some. That process is far faster."

[Auldwin]

"It does? Well...that's very much a relief." Auldwin admitted. At first the feeling itself was fear invoking in itself to get him to stop his attempts at materializing. He wasn't sure if that was the extent of his powers, but understanding that they could be replenished was not so difficult to understand, just like how as a person he had to stop and rest for a while after a laborious endeavor. "Now that I have an idea how it works I can keep trying, I appreciate the help." There was a bit of pressure lifted from Auldwin's shoulders, however slight. So he could do it, he could gain and practice those Ghostly abilities, that was enough to at least give him a direction to start moving toward. There was more though, something else that was not so easily explained. "There's...something else also. Just like how I could feel the Soulmist, or like how I was supposed to feel the Soulmist, I feel something else." The look of confusion on his face was not easily portrayed given the hazy overall appearance of his body, but his voice projected an air of uncertainty about these new 'feelings' he was experiencing. "I can't feel a lot of things. I don't feel tired, or pressure, or the wind, or the rain. There's something new that I do feel, and it was never there before. I feel...I don't know. Closer to everything? I'm not even sure that makes sense. Ahh..." he sighed, struggling further to find appropriate words. His body floated back and forth a bit now, as if he was pacing. It was just an old quirk of his he used to do while attempting to process new information, "I just feel things I didn't feel before like...the ground, or the rocks. They're always been there but now there's something else..."

OOCIt's kind of cryptic since I wasn't sure how to describe it, but being an experienced Ghost Berend might know, what Auldwin is talking about is his new knowledge of the existence of the Ukalas, which as a Ghost he now feels and recognizes, but could never hope to do as a Human.

[Growl]

Berend simply nodded as he considered Auldwin's words. He knew the feeling, what he was saying. Life truly was different as a ghost. It was filled with different sensations, things that were oftentimes, difficult to explain. "That feeling, Auldwin, that there is something else or someone else out there, is a common one," Berend commented. "It's like the human need to believe in the Gods, even though they have more than likely, never met any of them. Or the belief that your true love is out there, or that there is more to life than the work you or doing... more to it than simply thinking in provincial terms. That you must marry the prettiest girl, or get a job which pays a lot... those sorts of things." There was a pause. "It's difficult to know which of those sensations, or thought processes you are referring, given the information provided," he ended, simply. OOCHe may know of them, but I doubt he understood that specifically, given Auldwin's extraordinarily vague interpretation.

[Auldwin]

"It's just a lot to take in. It's like learning how to have a life all over again, even if it's not really a life." the man responded, recalling that 'life' as he knew it was over. Even with his time in his mortal shell at an end, it seemed there was still plenty to learn and experience. There was a certain misery to being a Ghost and Auldwin knew not whether it faded or grew with time. As far as he knew there were Ghosts that plagued mankind and then there were those that aided him even now. So just like all men, Ghosts have a conscious choice with how they conduct themselves. "What else is there? What else can I learn as a Ghost? I need to understand it all." he added desperately, although he backed off shortly there after realizing he was getting ahead of himself. He moved to lean against the door he had entered, mostly out of reflex. Instead he floated straight through it and out of sight. From behind the door it sounded as if Auldwin was clearing his throat from such embarrassment before fading back in through the door. "Ahem, sorry. I was getting a bit too excited. I always believed that Ghosts led simple and detestable existences, simply too stubborn to understand when their time has ended. Now I see first hand there is a great deal more. And what of the Gods? Do they recognize Ghosts and they do men?" Auldwin asked curiously. Although he had never heard of any particular Ghost Champions it did not mean such a thing was not possible.

OOCYeah I kinda figured. He'll figure more of it out in time.

[Growl]

"Just about everything you could have learned in life," Berend replied. "Unless you are referring to the skills which only ghosts have access too. In which case, there are two more- soulmist projection, which allows us to move solid objects. It's somewhat similar to regular projection, which you may find used rather often by the Shinya in Lhavit. And then, of course, there is possession, which is rather self-explanatory. Although, it tends to be far easier to possess a human, as opposed to a small animal, such as a rat." There was a slight pause, "yet, a skilled spiritist can expel us from their bodies." Berend shrugged. "Those skills, however, tend to use up more energy than materialization... they also seem a much harder concept to grasp for some. Much more difficult to learn, in general." Berend fell silent for a few moments. "They recognize us, in the sense that they know we exist," he began again. "Although, we don't seem capable of carrying the marks of their favor or disfavor anymore. Many ghosts have had their marks fade, or just plain disappear. We don't seem to have access to those abilities anymore... in that sense, they don't seem to recognize us. But then again... we're already dead. What reason would they have to do so? If we served in life, why in death too? Especially when we are supposed to be returning to the cycle? Perhaps, even, to serve in our next life?"

[Auldwin]

"I see. That isn't...unlike what I had assumed. I appreciate the candid words." Auldwin admitted. Even when he was alive he didn't know much of the Gods, and most likely they didn't know much about him. What a terrible servant he would have made even if they did. It seemed regret was a common emotion among Ghosts, now having to reminisce about the things they could have done, but didn't. The only way to get away from all those negative feelings were to concentrate on what else could be accomplished in this form. "Possession, I think I've got some grasp of that." the Ghost commented. If his features were more easily seen he would have scowled rather specifically at the word. Possession was something he understood not only as a Ghost to some natural extent, but also as a regular mortal who once had a physical body. What a dreadful experience that was. "But Soulmist Projection, is that like focusing your Soulmist in order to do Materialization?" come those rather ignorant words. What Auldwin hadn't realized was that he had used such Soulmist Projection, before he had even come to Black Rock. It was his lack of ability to discern his new life from his old life made it difficult to determine exactly when it was used. Even the slight disturbance made in the water when he had first approached it was a focused attempt to replicate the physical contact he would have had in life, but he never even thought much of it.

[Growl]

Berend lightly shook his head. "No, soulmist projection and materialization are separate skills," Berend replied. "One is used to make yourself appear more solid to onlookers. As opposed to something that flickers and fades. Something that seemed almost smokey around the edges. The other, is used to move and lift things." There was a slight pause, "say for instance, that you wished to pick up a pencil in order to do some writing. You would be using soulmist projection. If you wanted to make yourself appear as close to what you were once in life, you'd be using materialization." There was another slight pause, "does that help at all?" he asked.

[Auldwin]

Auldwin would have been lying if he didn't admit to at least being partly confused. So one was meant to achieve some solidity, and the other was used to apply force, using the exact same stuff? "It just takes more concentration right? The movement, I've done movement, I think. I just touch it..." he moved his spectral hand to the door he came in, imagining where he would have laid it in life. When the motion came to move it, a swell moved up toward his chest, down his arm, and out his palm, as if bottled up emotions were coming to the surface of his mist. The shapes of internal concentration moving throughout an otherwise vaporous form, reaching a small point of singularity, and then generating a small force even though it appeared like Auldwin was trying to shove a boulder down a mountain. Slowly, the door closed. "...and I can get things to move...but it's...so much effort for something so small. It's just a push, I doubt I would be able to pick anything like a pencil up and write with it. I hope that too gets easier with practice, just like Materialization."

[Growl]

"It takes a different sort of concentration," Berend replied. "And to do so depletes your soulmist stores, whereas materialization does not... it just, simply, tires a ghost out." The ghost watched in silence as Auldwin shut the door. "Very good," he commented absently, as he flashed a small smile. "It'll get easier with practice, and you'll become more capable of lifting things. Cradling things with the mist, as opposed to simply pushing." There was a slight pause, "you may even learn to pull things out of your way." Berend fell silent after that, "is there anything else you wish to ask? I really should be returning to my work..." OOCFeel free to wrap up, and then I can add a grade.

[Auldwin]

"Oh, no I just had some questions." Auldwin replied, almost feeling like a child again when confronted by someone with so much age over him. Did age really matter when you were dead? That was another hurdle his mind would have to get over. Time seemed to move strangely when you never needed to sleep. Judging its passing was becoming quite a guessing game. He could watch the sun rise and fall, but the cold of winter or the heat of summer wasn't there. "I've...got to get to work also. Most of my confusion is gone though, luckily enough. I appreciate your help, I didn't really expect to find a place like Black Rock but...I'll most likely be staying for a while." his voice sounded sincere enough, as hesitant as he was to trust any Ghost in particular. This Ghost, this Berend seemed to have a more focused purpose than other Ghosts though. His pursuit of gifting children with knowledge seemed more noble than Auldwin's own reason for lingering about. With that, Auldwin turned and looked at the knob upon the door. He seemed to be fiddling with it for a bit, attempting to get it open, but apparently the knowledge he had of Soulmist projection wasn't quite finely tuned enough to complete such a task. With a soft sigh he simply floated through the door and out of the classroom.