[Temple of Nikali] Dusk (Lucette)

[Veldrys]

Veldrys knelt besides Lucette, held her and gently brushed her hair from her face. His amethyst eyes were filled with worry. He wasn’t used to this, to feeling so utterly helpless. He didn’t have any of his instruments with him and no medicine that he could give her to make the nausea stop. He was completely unprepared. He hadn’t known that this would happen! What was wrong with her? Had she eaten something bad? Had she been poisoned? Why would anybody poison a Kelvic that served Nikali? Lucette hadn’t hurt anybody! She was nobody of importance!

Something that she had said caught his attention. He tried to make her look at him, looked directly into her eyes. He needed to be able to see the look on her face. „How long has this been going on, Lucette? How long have you been sick?“ She hadn’t looked sick when he had come into the temple. In fact she had looked better than usual, almost radiant. How could she go from that to being utterly miserable within a couple of moments? „Tell me the truth. I need to know so that I can help you! I will do what I can, but you need to be honest with me.“

His voice trembled a bit as he said this. The Symenestra who was always so composed, so utterly calm, looked practically terrified. He still felt the aftereffects of that half formed bond. He remembered that he had seen similar cases during his time at the Purging in Kalinor when he had treated surrogates – some of them had even been Kelvic, like her - but this couldn’t be. It just couldn’t be. The gods couldn’t be that cruel!

He held his breath as she moved a hand against her belly, and his heart seemed to stop beating for a moment. It all started to make sense now. His eyes were wide with shock. „Lucette“, he whispered, desperately wishing that she would deny it. „Are you with child?“

[Lucette]

At Veldrys’ urging, Lucette dolefully raised her tear-rimmed eyes to his. Time was a tenebrous concept to the Kelvic; days at the Temple blended one into the other. It was easier for Lucette to let them pass by like a slow wind, than to keep track of bells and chimes. Still, she tried to answer his question honestly. “A few weeks. Maybe three or four…” She finally answered, uncertainty lining her words. “But… I am being honest with you!” she cried, with a hurt frown wrinkling her dark brow. Lucette had been nothing but honest with the Symenestra since his first visit to the Temple. How could he think otherwise? “I can not tell you more… sometimes I am healthy, sometimes no. The mornings… and a little at night, I am not. I have told no one.” But Lucette meant, she had not told Justus. She looked away, as if Veldrys might be cross with her. Touching his knee, she said, “I am sorry… I didn’t mean to upset you during your visit… I can fetch another for you… one who is not ill.” Disappointment was more bitter than the bile in her throat. But Veldrys looked upset… Veldrys looked… distressed. This was not the man Lucette knew. His words sounded frantic to her ears. The Kelvic’s eyes narrowed, cautiously. He was scaring her! Her words were slow, precise, “What is wrong Veldrys? You must tell me… Is it bad, what I have?” Unease grew within her, to match the man’s tone and urgency. “Am I with child?!” she asked bewildered. “No… no.” she assured him as her limp curls hung about her face and her fingers squeezed his knee. “I am still useful… they would not breed me yet.” Lucette tried to smile, but his look was one of fright. It forced the Kelvic to look within herself. Silently she knelt, one hand touching the Symenestra, the other on her belly. With the most primitive of senses, Lucette felt the possibility of truth… it could be that she was pregnant… but she shook her head, unwillingly, “No.” she whispered, then more forcefully, “ No! It can’t be! I am useful still... I am… Haven’t you been satisfied? Am I… not pleasing?” She looked down upon her body… it had changed already - the fuller curves and ripened breasts, the warmer color of her skin. Roland had warned her… once she was a breeder, her status would change. She would no longer be favorite, or as valued or needed, but replaceable and most likely sold. The slave knew no other life. And while she understood the day would eventually come, Lucette had imagined it much farther away. She tried to catch her breath, but it was too shallow with the dark news and the Kelvic whispered, “It can’t be true… Justus told me I was welcome here… and now I will not be wanted…” the Kelvic tried to stand as thoughts of being discarded and abandoned ran emotionally amok through her mind. Perhaps it was a blessing that she had not yet realized whose baby it was that she might be carrying.

[Veldrys]

„Three or fours weeks“, Veldrys murmurred and breathed a sigh of relief. If this was true, then it was not too late, not too late to safe her life, to find a solution that would not kill her, if it was really his child. There were certain herbs. He had heard rumours about them in Kalinor, although his people disapproved of such things. She would not suffer the same fate as the numerous surrogates in Kalinor, poisoned, murdered by the monster inside of her …

„Lucette! Lucette, look at me“, he demanded as she apologized. „I’m not upset, not with you. I’m upset with myself, with the people in the temple. They must have known that this was a possibility! I don’t want another woman. I only want you.“ He reached out to her, touched her, embraced her, to comfort her, although there was a moment of hesitation, as if he were suddenly worried that his mere touch would poison her, that it would make it worse …

Gods, she hadn’t known! She seemed to have been unaware that she was pregnant until this moment, and she still seemed to unaware that the child might be Symenestra. She didn’t seem to have any idea what that meant. Would would happen when she found out? How was he supposed to tell her such a monstrous, horrifying thing? She would hate him!

„I don’t think they were trying to breed you“, he assured her, to calm her down a little. „Not on purpose. It must have happened accidentially. Of course you are still useful. You’ve always pleased me. You still please me.“ The hint of a smile flickered across his face as he remembered all the times they had been together, but it disappeared again quickly. He had enjoyed being with her, but in the end it had only led to this. His kind were damned …

He abruptly stood up and offered her his hand to help her up. „We will go to Justus“, he firmly said. „I don’t think he is aware of this.“ Lucette seemed convinced that they were breeding her, but no sane man would do that, knowing that a Symenestra regularly visited the temple. Something must have gone wrong. „I’ll talk to him. I’ll make sure that you are still welcome, that you are still wanted. I’ll always want you.“

„Do you think you can walk?“

[Lucette]

Distracted, Lucette’s thoughts flew frantically about, thinking upon the now unknown future. But at Veldrys’ request, her mind began to slow and she was finally able to listen. Lifting her head, the Kelvic studied the Symenestra, watched his mouth as he spoke… he… did not wish for another... only her. She tried to find the truth of his speech and with narrowed eyes the slave girl found that she believed him. Inwardly a greedy relief washed over her, for Lucette desired to keep the Temple visitor to herself. A strangely territorial feeling wound about her core - especially after the Bond had almost been woven between them. Veldrys hesitated, just as he reached to touch her. He hesitated! With a start, Lucette knew… already he thought less of her! Already her fears had come true… he did not want to touch her! Though his words held comfort, she was still less in his eyes. The Kelvic’s emotions swung madly, as hormonal changes consumed her body. Looking frantic, Lucette’s eyes filled with tears that threatened to spill over her lovely high cheekbones. Roland was right… she was useless now! Roland had always spoken the truth…. And - Lucette stammered at the Symenstra’s next idea, “Could it be a mistake? Are you sure?” How she hoped it was, how she hoped Justus had not tired of her already too. “You don’t think it was on purpose?” Lucette asked, leaning toward him, wanting the man’s caress to console her and buoy her hopes. “If it was an accident… maybe Justus would let me stay… after it is born… maybe he would only sell the baby.” Hope filled her face and she tried to smile past her reddened nose, to lure him back to her, “You could still visit me then…” And Veldrys said, “I’ll always want you…” Lucette was not so sure; she looked at herself with distain… “How can you say these words… how could you want me… always? I will be changed… I am already changed.” Roland’s ideas had undermined the Kelvic’s normal confidence and she looked up at the Symenestra, unsure, blinking wet, black lashes. She took his hand weakly, yet frustrated and angry even through the tears, with these episodes of illness – though she was consoled by Veldrys’ concern. Squeezing his hand she moved to him, reassured that he would speak for her. He was smart; he would know what words to say to Justus that she might be allowed to stay in Denval. “Let’s see him now… he is inside, I will show you…” Lucette said more strongly, as the nausea finally began to subside, though the tell-tale hand remained on her belly, as the other held onto Veldrys. Where she had been pale, now her face flushed pinkly with color. And always, her feet guided her exquisitely through the Temple, announcing animal grace in her gliding prowl, even as she was not well, she moved well. “Tell Justus… tell him… I pleased you,” she whispered worriedly, her clutch more strongly upon him now. “Tell him there was satisfaction and joy in my chambers…. let him know I was not a disappointment. Tell him-” she wanted to say… tell him everything we have done together…, but instead she said, “Please, tell him!” She loved Justus and hated the thought of him being in any way upset or disappointed in her. He was… a different man. Yet capable, as most men were not… he was her direction and without him Lucette would not have survived the breaking of Roland’s bond. How could he wish her to breed now?! “He is there… inside…” Lucette whispered suddenly. Swallowing a lump in her throat, the Kelvic led the way into a room alert and on edge. Her voice held tension, her body rigid as if she might slink off at any moment.

[Tabarnac]

As if on cue, Justus entered the room. Whether pulled their by his own gnosis, even tainted by the curse hanging over Denval, or relying on some inborn empathy, he was there. His face was thinner than when Lucette had first come to Denval, more careworn. Some others marked by gods and suffering his same pain were aging, but he seemed to be more distilled, more Justus, with less in the way. Still, it did not look healthy. His smile was welcoming and warm, if tired. Veldrys was accorded a deal of respect, being an acolyte of Viratas and a help in Lucette's recovery. Justus had begun to unravel some of the damage Roland had done to her, but as with most things, the bulk of the work would have to be her own, and the strange sort of relationship that had blossomed between her and the Symenestra was a good thing. The robe of charcoal grey was open at the neck, the sickly hue of his gnosis not hidden. It was still a badge worthy of respect in Denval, where the gods were honored. "Welcome, Veldrys." His dark, elegant brows dipped and furrowed. "Something is the matter. What can I do to help?"

[Veldrys]

„I’m convinced that it was a mistake“, he assured her. „Nobody would do such a thing on purpose!“ As he saw that her eyes filled with tears, he tried to wipe them away. He couldn’t bear to see her cry. Even in her current state she looked lovely. He wanted to protect her, to keep her safe, but at the same time he was utterly aware that he had done this to her. They had made a mistake, but he had come to her and shared her bed.

„Sell it?“ he asked. Despite everything that idea shocked him. „No, he cannot sell it. I will make sure that he’ll let you keep it. I can help you take care of it. It might be mine. I’ll help you keep it safe.“ He couldn’t bear the thought of the baby being sold as a slave, if it was really his. But no, there would be no baby. Whatever was growing inside of Lucette was not simply a baby. It was a killer. A part of him had always wanted children, had always longed to be a father, but the price was too high.

„I don’t care that you have changed. It doesn’t matter to me. You are still beautiful.“ She looked a little better now, a little less pale. For a moment he had been worried that she would simply break down. „I will tell him that. It’s the truth, Lucette. I was always content with you. You made me happy. You still do.“ He held her as they walked through the temple, tried to reassure her. Maybe, maybe he could find a way to prevent her death. Maybe it wasn’t as bad as it seemed.

But still, as he heard Justus‘ words, as he saw the look on the man’s face, he could barely keep himself from attacking him. In that moment he didn’t notice how tired he was, didn’t see his gnosis mark. To him Justus sounded like a hypocrite.

„I’m not sure if …“ he began, but then he cast a look on Lucette and fell silent. He didn’t want her to hear it, at least not now. He wanted to delay the bad news for another little while. „She’s pregnant“, he whispered as he pulled the man aside. „It might be mine. It’s likely mine. You knew that I was visiting her regularly. You must have known that this was a possibility. Do you know what happens to a woman that carries a Symenestra’s child? Why didn’t you give her … I thought you cared about her!“

„She belongs to your temple. She is your responsibility as much as she is mine!“ He almost screamed the last sentence.

[Lucette]

“Keep it?” Lucette asked, head swiveling in surprise towards Veldrys. She had no wish or desire to keep any offspring. In the slave’s mind, it belonged not to her, but to the Temple. Roland had told her from the start she would never be allowed to raise a child, and that lesson was well ingrained. Of course, Lucette mused, she would nurse it, for a time… But the Kelvic still held hope that she was not even pregnant. Veldrys took the overly pale Justus aside, and the slave girl was only too willing to wait alone while they spoke. She did not wish to be near if Justus should become upset. Fidgeting and nervous, Lucette listened as the Symenestra’s voice begun as a whisper but rose rapidly, as if angry… or frightened. At first the Kelvic thought nothing of the man’s strong emotions, for she was upset as well - but the inquisitive nature of the feline began to wonder why the Symenestra was so upset… for her. Frowning, Lucette’s head cocked to the side as she remembered Veldrys’ words… “I’ll help you take care of it… it might be mine…” Lucette was suspicious now. The baby might be his… it might be his baby… Something didn’t feel right… something nagged at the back of her mind… With a growing unease she watched the two men. What were they talking about - what had Veldrys said earlier? His people… and their children...? Her mind fumbled; so much had happened today… Lucette’s belly churned angrily. The Kelvic stepped closer. All color drained from her face… normally so polite, Lucette was not in this moment and she interrupted, answering the Symenestra’s question before Justus could. It came in a faraway whisper, as if she were remote and distant, “The children… their babies are venomous… they kill the… they…” Suddenly, Lucette clutched at her swollen belly as if it housed a foreign thing, and yowled loudly and pitifully. The point was no longer missed. There was no hiding from it, and she could not eat it - as animal mothers sometimes did with infirm newborns. It would kill her before she could. It would poison her! “Justus! But…why? Tell me it’s not true!” Her voice came ragged as she begged. But the feline’s instinct for self preservation flared and she became angrier. The desire to attack the two men filled her… But to Lucette’s dismay, she could not bring herself to harm either of them. Instead, she backed into a table and it halted her retreat. Hands gripping the furniture edge, the Kelvic looked from one man to the next, with tear streaked eyes. The tiny rivulets dripped down her chin to spatter her chest. Raising her head once more, the Kelvic hissed and spit in her fury and confusion. The transformation to Cheetah was not far away.

[Tabarnac]

Justus wondered how well Veldrys really knew Lucette, whispering as if a cheetah kelvic would not be able to hear it, but he was pliant, let the acolyte of Viratas take him aside to berate him for impregnating the girl, as if it had been Justus' own randy cock, his own irresponsible seed. People were so willing to foist the harvest of their sown oats onto someone else, and Justus was used to being the easy target. He had learned the lesson of yielding, even as he had learned the lesson of not yielding. But then he was a priest and Veldrys was still an acolyte, revered though he may be for Holy Viratas' clear attention. "Well, if you did not take precautions, there are other means," he said gently. "I will look after her if you wish to rescind your care for her. I will look after her in any case, as she belongs to me, both by exchange of coin with her previous owner and by her own wishes. Is that not so, Lucette?" Turning to her, he saw how angry she had become, the root of that anger being, as was most common, fear. "Ah, darling. The bite of a full-blooded Symenestra newborn is indeed toxic, but if you are with child and Veldrys is the father, the child will only be half-blooded, and so diminished. Haimon, Cian, and I have been speaking on the possibilities for bypassing that maladaptive trait in the Symenestra race because it seemed likely that if Veldrys remained with Haimon at the Chapel, he should soon be invited to take the oath of citizenship and then his offspring would become a matter of concern for all of Denval..." They were thinking of Veldrys, and giving him a full life without the horror of regular Symenestra breeding. Mizahar could not afford races dying out at this point, not if they wished to survive. "Lucette, there is probably not enough time for you to develop any sort of bond with Viratas or Siku, whose gnoses would allow you to survive a Symenestra pregnancy, but Cian is thrice marked by the goddess of healing, and Master Jarret is the best physic in Kalea. Between them, they should be able to keep you and your child alive should you choose to give it the light. Caiyha herself might respond to a Kelvic's prayer for... ah, you are so scared, my little love." His voice was a coo, gentle and intoxicating, but she reacted best to strength, which could then relax into tenderness. Justus, being who and what he was, could only respond to that need with strength. "Lucette," he said, his voice whipcrack sharp and his fingers snapping as he pointed to the floor beside him. "Do you not trust your master to keep you safe from harm?" He was beckoning her near, of course, and Veldrys needed to understand her nature if he was going to bear children with her and, perhaps, even form a family with her.

[Lucette]

Even as she balanced on the brink of transformation to Cheetah, Lucette stopped to listen to Justus’ words. Immediately at the sound of her name, her eyes narrowed and her head lifted; body alert once more. The man did own her. Completely. And it was true the Kelvic never wished to leave him; she could not imagine a life outside the Temple and away from Justus. Veldyrs had tried to help her. Veldrys was her lover. Veldrys was something more as well- though she did not yet know what… the Bonding had been interrupted. But Justus was Master, a Master marked by Nakali. Lucette’s eyes dropped downcast to the floor; ashamed of the anger that raged inside, though the Cheetah wished that hot emotion to remain… but in the company of the Temple priest it could not for long. And it was impossible to be false, “It is so… I belong to you,” Lucette replied with soft honesty. Regret did not shadow the simple words, the Kelvic was content, but for thing that threatened her from inside... Justus’ words soothed her further, as if the priest caressed her with tone and timbre. A half-blooded baby… and the healers would help her. It was a small comfort. Her eyes unblinking watched the man talk of gods and goddesses… There were too many… she wished not to hear of them. But then – he said… “should you choose to give it the light…” Choose. “There is a choice?” she whispered, looking from one man to the other. She corrected herself, “The choice is mine?” then more loudly, “I don’t want it! Take it from me!” Fear edged her voice, and dark cruelty surfaced in her gaze and in her stance. Lucette’s thoughts were bloody violent and the Cheetah neared the surface, willful and proud. But Justus saw. And Justus knew, as he always did... His voice cracked the air, Lucette’s name rang out. The Kelvic startled and froze with a hiss. The priest had her full attention now… the angry snarl on her gentle features softened automatically into submission. Only focused on Justus, the man’s tone and bearing held great meaning as she was reminded of her place. Lucette simply acted; she was still herself, yet her being was bound to Justus. She did not stop to wonder what Veldyrs would think of her actions, for no longer was she merely a separate, sensual being – Lucette was a slave, subservient and submissive. Her Master had called, and cautiously the Kelvic moved towards the priest. Her steps were slow, definite and almost aloof. But still she came to slink to where his finger had pointed, at his feet. Her legs curled under, and she lowered with slow intent and feline grace. Leaning against his leg, one long arm wrapped around the limb as her head nudged his thigh. “I had forgotten… “I am sorry Justus,” Lucette professed. While she was still very much afraid of the future, the slave knew it was not her place to think upon such difficult things for long… it was his. Such thoughts kept the Kelvic safe… and she so desperately wished to always remain safe. Only then as she leaned against Justus’ leg, and played with the fabric at his knee, did Lucette’s eyes flick to Veldrys. The gaze was the same she had used before, yet a raw hurt resided there – it was the sad knowledge that the Symenestra had caused her to fear for her life. [ooc]At Veldyrs request, posted before him. [/ooc]

[Veldrys]

She knew. Somehow she knew that the baby could kill her, even though he had tried his best to hide that fact from her. Had she read his mind? Had she somehow heard what he had said to Justus even though he had spoken in a mere whisper? He didn’t know what to say to her. He had done this to her. He watched her as tears streamed down her face. Part of him wished to take her into his arms, to tell her that everything would be alright, even though that was a lie, but he could not bring himself to actually approaching her. He saw the look on her face, like a wild animal, about to attack the one that had hurt her.

„I do not wish to rescind my care for her!“ He could not stand the look on Justus‘ face. Something about the man infuriated him. He could not stand the way he treated her, as if she were his lover, his slave, his pet. He knew that he didn’t own her, that he had never owned her, but it was his child that she carried!

„I will take resonsibility for my actions. Who do you take me for?“ Half blood? Had he heard correctly? Was the man ignorant? A fool? „Any child with a Symenestra father is full blooded, Justus! Is that why you didn’t give her anything? Because you thought that that the child’s venom would be weak?“

He barely registered the man’s statement that he should soon be invited to take the oath of citizenship. Under normal circumstances he would have been overjoyed to hear such a thing – during the past year he had come to consider Denval his home – but now he could only think of Lucette and what had happened, what he had done to her.

He knew that Lucette didn’t belong to him, that she was a part of this temple, but it hurt to hear her say it out loud. He had known all along that there wasn’t really an alternative, that the baby couldn’t be born, despite whatever Justus said, but it still hurt to hear her say that she didn’t want it. A part deep inside of him had hoped for a child, for a family, despite the curse of his race. For one moment he had allowed himself to wonder what it would be like to hold his child in his arms, to have a part of him live on, long after his death.

It hurt to see her embrace the other man’s leg, as if she loved him, as if he were all that mattered to her. She could see the pain in the Symenestra’s eyes. He looked at her for a moment, and then he pulled his gaze away. „I only want her to be safe“, he whispered. „Save her. Do whatever it takes. I do not wish to have her blood on my hands.“ But then the child would die, killed before it had born, before it had had a chance to live. Could he really allow that? The murder of his own flesh and blood? He couldn’t force Lucette to bear a child that she didn’t want, that might endager her life! If he did that, he would be no better than the rest of his kind!

„Do you really think they would be able to keep both of them alive?“ he asked hopefully, and then he shook his head. He shouldn’t even be thinking such thoughts. He wasn’t the one who had a venomous child inside of him, who would have to worry for the next couple of months, who wouldn’t know for sure whether he would live or die. „Of course the choice is yours, Lucette.“