A chance meeting (Eris)

[Nyahna Sasin]

He blinked, slightly taken aback by the change of topic. Guilt? After killing? He didn't even need to think about his answer. "No. Why should I? Right or wrong...That's a matter of opinion. There was a reason for them to die, there was someone rich enough to pay for it, and there was a knife eager to be used."

He frowned. "Why do you ask?" It wasn't the sort of questions that were normally posed to him about what he did. If, and when, he did talk about his profession the questions he answered were usually more along the lines of "What's your favorite method of killing?"

[Eris]

“I-I don’t know,” Eris said in answer to his questions, leaning back in her chair.

She took time to sort out her thoughts, trying to make things clear for the Dhani as well as for herself. “I just get this feeling-,” she broke off,
reformulating her thoughts. “It’s like I don’t really have the right to choose who lives and who dies, you know? Sure, they might deserve death tenfold, but should we be the ones to judge them?”

Now, she was angry at herself. Both for speaking of these personal thoughts to a stranger and for experiencing the weakness in the first place. Just a year ago, she had no problem with killing. It was nothing more than a method of survival. Farmers farmed, cooks cooked, and she killed. Everything was as it should be, but then, something changed. She still didn’t understand when exactly this change happened; all she knew was that sometimes, she felt as if someone had twisted her own dagger in her heart after she had slit someone’s throat.

[Nyahna Sasin]

He raised an eyebrow, curiosity piqued. "Well, if we don't judge them, who will? If we follow your logic, then we'll eventually start wondering whether it's right to eat a chicken." he pointed out.

"Even if you don't have the right to kill them, you have a right to live, and, in my case, enjoy myself. And even if you don't have the right to judge them, you should. There's no denying that everyone we kill did something, or we wouldn't be paid to do it."

He cocked his head to one side, considering her.

[Eris]

“But then, don’t we deserve to die as well? If we have the right to judge everyone, don’t others have the right to judge us?” Eris spoke her thoughts out loud, as they came to her.

“And what will you do, if one day, a cloaked figure shows up and drives a dagger into your heart, merely because they judged your actions to be immoral?” Eris asked, all in one breath, feeling as if she was emptying a boiling pot of water from her mind.

She didn’t know why she was feeling so terribly morbid. Maybe it was the atmosphere of the empty bar, maybe the presence of an assassin who so greatly enjoyed his work, maybe a combination of the two… Eris wasn’t expecting to receive an answer to questions that have been bothering her for over a year now, but she wanted to get it all out in the open. To see if somehow- If somehow, she could get some kind of closure for herself, before she went mad from all the doubts spinning around in her head.

((Sorry I keep taking so long to post. Exams have completely destroyed my schedule.))

[Nyahna Sasin]

(No problem. I just finished mine last week, I know what you mean.)

He hesitated, rolling the question over in his mind. This was a lot more philosophical than he was used to. He could tell that she was troubled, and he chose his words carefully.

"Well, yes. I do suppose that they have a right to judge us on what we do." It was only when people judged him on what he was that he got mad. "I'm not denying that what we do is wrong, by human standards. It's simply that I, personally, don't care. For you, there's always the option of not doing it. "

“And what will you do, if one day, a cloaked figure shows up and drives a dagger into your heart, merely because they judged your actions to be immoral?”

He raised an eyebrow. "Fight him off, find out who hired him, and kill him." He said bluntly. "I'm not going to think that it's terribly unfair, and that I don't deserve it, but you have to agree, being dead would be terribly inconvenient."

[Eris]

She let out a sight, thinking over his words. There’s always the option of not doing it… Except there isn’t – not really.

"...being dead would be terribly inconvenient."

Eris smirked. “Good point,” she allowed, the corners of her lips quirking up slightly.

“So, you only kill for the sake of killing? I mean, besides the monetary award and all, do you ever help protect someone who doesn’t have the means to pay you?” she asked, her curiosity piqued at the nature of this creature.

There was that time when an old man had asked her to kill someone to avenge the death of his daughter. He had told her from the beginning that he had nothing to offer her in the way of a fee, but Eris didn’t care at the moment. She did what she was asked and when she saw the smile spread across the old man’s face, the feeling of guilt in her chest had dissolved. So, was it the money that was the problem? The feeling of holding coins in your hands and knowing that they were covered in invisible blood…

[Nyahna Sasin]

(Back from homework induced brain deadness.)

He shrugged. "There's a difference between killing for the sake of money, and killing for the sake of killing, namely that one is a living, and one is insanity. Killing for the sake of killing is a waste of life, time, and effort." He didn't kill just to kill anymore. He liked to think he had grown since he left his family.

"If someone was to ask.......That would depend. On a lot of things. Killing a stranger for a stranger? No. Not when I run the risk of getting caught. Killing for a friend? Within reason. It doesn't matter how close I am to someone, I'm not going to go on a killing spree without good reason." He finished.

Humans. So sentimental.

[Eris]

And here she had already painted the Dhani as a cold-blooded serial killer. Well, not a serial killer per se, but she did develop a mental picture of him slashing through villages and killing people left and right. She nodded as he spoke, showing that she understood where he was coming from. He seemed to make everything seem perfectly logical and reasonable, justifying murder with a few words. It’s something she’d been doing for years, but now…now she wasn’t sure if that was the right thing for her. Maybe what she needed was to hear someone admonish her, to accuse her, to agree with the tiny conscience in the back of her head…

Eris shook her head, seeming to come out of the reflective mood she had submerged herself in. She stayed silent, however, realizing that there were no more questions she could ask without enveloping her mind in self-doubt once more.

[Nyahna Sasin]

He had always wondered about humans. Almost every human he had ever met had been opposed to killing and torture. Talking about ethics, and morals. Then again, they had all been on the right side of the law.

On the other hand, this was another assassin here. One who, apparently, was rather disillusioned about her chosen line of work. A pity, really. She had seemed to him to be rather intelligent, and quite decent, for a human.

He grimaced as the 21th bell rang, and stood. "Unfortunately, I must take your leave. Do think about what I've said. You seem quite resourceful, and your kind are rather good at adapting. I'm sure you have other options."

On that last note, he left, heading back to his employer's house. He had a bounty to collect.

[Eris]

Eris nodded at the Dhani as he departed, feeling too drained to offer anything in the form of words. She watched him exit the tavern’s doors, wondering how it was that she spent so much time in bars, but never drank. With a small sigh escaping her lips, she stood, keeping her head bent low as she walked out of the establishment.

Other options… The problem was that none of the other options were open to her, at least not until she put to rest that gnawing feeling at the pit of her stomach. She needed to finish what she had started two years ago and then, maybe she could rest.

FIN