[The Stone Garden] Morality and Mortality

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This shining population center is considered the jewel of The Sylira Region. Home of the vast majority of Mizahar's population, Syliras is nestled in a quiet, sprawling valley on the shores of the Suvan Sea. [Lore]

[The Stone Garden] Morality and Mortality

Postby Jaquise Emittere on May 26th, 2010, 6:41 am

91st day of Spring 510 AV


It was midday, of the last day of the spring season. Already a precursor to the heat could be felt on the breeze that traveled through the stone garden. Near the center of the stone garden stood a lone figure. It was to late for the widows and to early for the drunk friends. Though a place of high honor, some saw the stone garden as a place to mourn the lost. These few people probably knew someone with their name on one of these stones. The lone figure, whose hawkish features were twisted by grief, appeared to be one of those people. He was a pale figure, not overly tall at about 6 to 6'1, wearing a simple pair of black pants and boots, a white, loose fitting cloth shirt, and a broad rimmed black hat. The figure was not so simple in appearance though. While his clothing was normal in appearance, a bit worn perhaps, the rest of him spoke of countless tales. For instance, to look into his eyes one would involuntarily shiver at the sight of two crystal white eyes, appearing almost like ice, staring back at you. Despite the fact that both seemed fake, one probably couldn't help but feel that he could see plain as day from at least one of them. The unhesitating, even confident gait he moved with backed this thought up. IT wasn't just that though. The figure was also wearing an odd looking sword on his belt, and the confidence he moved with was suddenly put into the perspective. He had the gait of a skilled warrior.

With his good eye, even though it was a junk of ice it was still thought of as the good eye compared to the chunk of glass in the other socket, Jaq looked around that stones on the ground and wondered what sacrifices each person must have made to get here. It was a place of honor and the names on the stone were those of people who had given everything to earn that honor. Most of them probably didn't even care what honors were granted to them, in life or in death. They did what they did because it was right. In a time before he would have dreamed of being someone who could give so much. In a time before it might have been possible. Times had changed though and Jaq was no longer the person, child really, that he had once been. He knew the world was not black and white, that sacrificing oneself for the greater good didn't necessarily mean that you'll do any good. Sometimes it was hard to even tell between right and wrong, nonetheless follow a path of righteousness.Was it be wrong to want to forget all the pain one was responsible for? Was it wrong to want just a few moments of respite from the pain. And when there was a god of death, a god of time, and a god of fate sometimes it seemed like there wasn't even a choice in the matter. One didn't choose to give ones life, one had been slated to do so centuries before they were born. Good didn't triumph over evil. A plan was followed and dammit all to hell if those involved suffered for it. Jaq gazed across the garden of stones and wondered if there was any purpose to life at all. If it can be so easily taken, so easily given by divine hands, perhaps life was nothing more then a mere show for the immortals that roamed this world.

A sharp, cold pain from his eye snapped Jaq out of his melancholy mood, reminding him why he had come here. He was not here to rail against the unfairness of the gods. He was not here to stew in his own self pity. Jaq had come here to honor the death of those who had died on the expedition. Tenner, who gave his life for his son in one last act of courage. Harold and the nameless armored man, who gave their lives killing a beast who would have brought death upon all the defenseless laborers. Michael, Gared, and a host of others Jaq had only briefly met and could not even fully remember, who fell underneath the horde of Yukmen. It is because of them that Jaq and so many others returned home and it is because of Jaq that they did not. 'You are not to blame for there deaths. It is a foolish notion to think you could have done more. If anything, your right eye is proof that you did to much.'

Jaq had grown almost used to Zagarek's thought moving through his mind. It was still a cold alien voice backed by an equal cold and intelligent mind, but as the magic's namesake implied it had grown familiar to Jaq. His short time with the being suggested this was not an attempt at comfort but an action taken to subvert what Zagarek probably felt as a useless and illogical waste of time. 'Knowing that one could do nothing and feeling that one could do nothing are to very different things for human's. For instance, intellectually I realize that Tenner's death, and the subsequent death of the mercenaries at the hands of the Dire Wolverine could not have been prevented by someone like me. Emotionally though I feel guilty that they died under my watch.'

'We must speak more of these emotions of yours. I feel that if you do not get them under control it will be the death of us both. It was because of your emotions that you used to much magic, you felt you had to save as many lives as you could. It was because of your emotions that both of us experienced such pain in the days leading up to our recovery.' The string around Jaq's neck holding a small white crystal, Zagarek's sealed form, shook at the memory of the pain. Jaq followed suit with a shudder of his own. 'For our continued survival you must learn to control your emotions, you must learn to ignore this irrational feeling of responsibility you seemed to hold toward anyone near you in danger.'

'If there had been a way to save more lives, I would have done whatever was necessary to do so.'
Thought the conversation was one of thought, with no audible element to it, it was easy to tell that Jaq was angry.

'Was it not you who just a few minutes ago questioned the very value of the life you now claim you would give anything to protect? Your emotions are to unstable to be a viable source for making decisions.' The orb against Jaq's chest suddenly grew colder. Between his eye and Zagarek Jaq was left wishing for his jacket, despite the heat.

'You would have my sacrifice others so that I might continue to live?'
Jaq's fists tightened as the barley restrained anger in his mind grew stronger. The leather of his gloves creaked in response.

'Should it become necessary, I would have you sacrifice others so that we may live.'
The familiars thoughts put emphasis on the word we, most likely in hopes of getting through to Jaq who exactly he was risking. Jaq was to angry to think to carefully on the specifics of the thoughts. He simply heard that Zagarek thought there were acceptable sacrifices.

'How could I consciously make the decision to abandon someone I could have saved simply so that I do not put myself in harms way.' Jaq's thoughts were tinged mostly with anger, but the familiar could detect something akin to pleading in them to. It appeared Jaq did not fully enjoy his want to help others. Perhaps he felt it a burden. His life style might be evidence to that, as a mercenary most of the fighting he did was guard work. Protecting lives. He got paid handsomely for it, but that did not lessen the risk he took whenever he agreed to a job.

'I do not understand the question. Do you not have the capacity to choose your own actions?' The orb around Jaq's neck shook a little as the question was asked.

'I speak off my life's importance compared to that of another human. What makes my life so much more valuable then others. Why should someone else die simply so that I might live.'


'Ahh, well then I have a quarry for you. Why should you be made to sacrifice your life so that others might live? Are you so unimportant, does your life have such little meaning that your only goal is die while you give your life for another? And with my life hanging on the balance as well, is it even fully your decision to make?'
The familiar paused for a moment, though Jaq did not know why because he was almost certain the being did not need to take a breath. 'And you are here to honor those who have died on the expedition force right? Would you demean their supposed sacrifice to nothing more then a mistake you made simply to satisfy your own guilt ridden mind? Would you put Tenner's sacrifice for his son in such a light? They consciously made the decision to give their life so that others might live. It seems from what little I know of human conventions, what you would do to that memory does not do them much honor.'

Zagarek put little to no inflection in his voice. It made it sound like he expected to change Jaq's mind by simply speaking logically. For a moment Jaq thought about snapping back a sarcastic retort, but before it passed his lips he realized that at this moment he was letting his anger speak for him. Jaq let Zagarek continue. 'And there is one more thing. You seemed to have forgotten that any sacrifice you make also requires a sacrifice from me. It is no longer simply your life to give on whatever whim you might have.'

Jaq took a deep breath and let the anger in him go. When only smoldering bits remained of his white hot fury Jaq thought over what Zagarek said. The familiar was right. He had been dishonoring Tenner's sacrifice by thinking of it as his mistake. Tenner had spent his last moment's ensuring his son was under Jaq's protection. He had made the conscious decision to save Jade's life, even though he quite possibly could have saved himself. It was a thing of honor,w hat he did there. And to think of it in any other way was just wrong. And Zagarek was right on the second point to. It was no longer just Jaq who had to endure the consequences of his actions' it was no longer just his life Jaq was gambling with when he dove into danger. Granted it wasn't exactly a common or welcome occurrence for Jaq, it still happened enough for the man to need to think about it. Suddenly the implications of bonding with another being began to weigh on him. He had always thought of it in the manner of risks he was taking by bonding with a being whose true power and nature would not be known for quite a while. Jaq had never thought of the danger he put Zagarek in. Jaq took the necklace in his hand and gazed into the orb wrapped in string. It was eerie how it matched his new set of eyes almost perfectly. 'You are right to be angry with me. However, I am not sure if I can live with myself if I stand by and watch others die when I could have helped them.'

'I see little harm in assisting other beings of this world, but the danger you subject yourself is unnecessary. For instance you took an extravagant risk in creating that hail storm over the Yukmen. No lives had been at stake when they were forced into the pit, an easily warded section that left the enemy open to ranged weaponry from multiple sides.'

'You fail to mention that without the hail causing confusion amongst the horde, they would have tried to force themselves out of the pit and more lives would have been lost.' Jaq once more found himself restraining his anger. It seemed realizing he had a problem didn't solve it, and it was so hard not to feel anger toward such indifference in the face of death.

'I did not fail to mention it. The few laborers that would have fallen in such an event were of little consequence when against our well being. You are forgetting that such an outcome was not even guaranteed. Where as you already knew you were reaching your limits with reimancy and chose to do such a large working anyway.' Jaq wanted to yell, Jaq wanted to throw the necklace that was Zagarek away, Jaq wanted to rip the cold thoughts out of his mind and find a voider who can rid him of the being all together. A part of Jaq realized that what he wanted wasn't always what was right, or even what was good for him. This was one of those instances. So instead of doing any of those things Jaq took another deep breath and calmed himself down. When he was calm enough to think clearly, Jaq forced himself to think things through from the Irylid's perspective. The being was not of Mizahar. The people Jaq risked his life, and Zagarek's, to save were not his people. How could he, a being whose emotions were so underplayed that they were almost non existent, be expected to care about such beings when he has absolutely no reason to. It would to much to ask of him, nay anyone in his situation.

'I can not disregard my responsibility as a man of power to assist others in need of my help. However I will take care not to risk our lives needlessly anymore. That, and I will try to become more then what I am now. More skilled, more intelligent, more powerful so as to lessen the danger.'

'That is flawed logic. From what I have seen of you and your race, the stronger you get the more you will expect from yourself. Your imagined burden of responsibility will only grow as you do.'


'Then what do you suggest I do?'

'Do what you must, but take into account that you are no longer alone. At the moment you are the more powerful of us, so there is little I can do to stop you, and attempting to hinder you in battle could be fatal for the both of us. As I said the day you summoned me, you tell me to fight and I will fight, and after word I will tell you of all the mistakes you made and how you could have avoided making them. Today, it seems, was merely the first of many such talks. Hopefully you will not repeat any mistakes, and our next talk will be of something else you can improve upon.' Jaq waited for the familiar to continue but a minute passed with nothing. It seemed Zagarek was content with the lesson he had taught Jaq. That he expected to have more lessons to teach Jaq spoke of a rather low opinion of the pale wizard Jaq would have found offensive if he didn't think it true himself.

'I will try not to make decisions without consulting you, especially ones that involve risking our lives. I did not summon you so that I might have a pliable, weak willed mind that would follow my lead. You are an equal partner in this, the life we live.' Jaq got no verbal response from Zagarek but for a moment he could have sworn the cold necklace against his chest stung just a little bit less. The moment passed, but Jaq was almost positive it had happened.

As there conversation had taken place entirely in the two beings minds, it appeared to the Syliran knight watching the garden that Jaq simply stood there for several minutes. It wasn't unusual for people to mourn in silence, but Jaq was an unusual person to begin with. So what would have normally received only a passing though was looked upon with suspicion. Jaq noticed and recognized the look for what it was, it was the same look people gave him when they discovered he was a wizard, or a witch, or a magician, or a magi, or a sorcerer, or whatever you wanted to call it. Jaq had only a few moments to finish his business before he was going to be asked to leave. The pale man reach into his pants pocket and pulled out a slightly mushed, slightly bent flower. It was a simple thing he had found growing near his tent, and since the knights were unlikely to put the names of Tenner, the mercenaries, or any of the laborers in here Jaq thought the least he could do was leave them this on one of the path's. It wouldn't last forever, but even an honorary mention in this garden had to mean something right? As Jaq set it down before him he thought of all those who had died on the expedition, and all of those Jaq had been able to keep safe. He was not as depressed as he had been upon entering the garden. The conversation with Zagarek had helped turn his mind away from his guilt and grief. Now as he thought of those whose sacrificed themselves

Jaq had just placed it on the ground in front of him, well away from the stones, when he heard the creaking of boots that signaled the guards movement toward him. The pale man stood up and with the same confident gait he had arrived with, he walked out of the garden. He was careful to avoid eye contact with the guard, lest he think something a miss about a seemingly blind man wearing a sword, and continued on his way to his tent. He would skip drinking tonight. The journey had exhausted him, both physically and mentally, far to much for alcohol to hold any appeal for him. Perhaps tomorrow night, when the summer heat drove him to find a cool drink.
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Jaquise Emittere
Magic Swordsman
 
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Joined roleplay: January 10th, 2010, 2:59 am
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[The Stone Garden] Morality and Mortality

Postby Harlequill on May 29th, 2010, 5:17 pm

Weighing in...
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Character: Jaquise Emittere
Experience: 2xp Familiary
Lore: Where Zagarek is Coming From, The Value of Two Lives, Reaching an Understanding With Your Familiar
Notes: Try to re-read, or at least glance over, each post at least once after putting it up. Usually you can notice the most glaring typos and edit them out before someone responds. This post was not bad, just a few little things such as forgetting to italicize some of Zagarek's words. Keep up the good work.
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Harlequill
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