With a Little Help from My Friends [Tinnok]

[Ayatah]

For a long moment, Ayatah let Tinnok’s story sink in, imaging the horror that had existed down in that cave. To think that a group of fellow Myrians had turned their back on their own people, and for the favour of the oldest enemy… It made Ayatah sick to the pit of her stomach. ”They… deceived their own people.” She whispered, stating the obvious but needing to hear it in her own voice to believe it.

And Razkar hadn’t reported them… It seemed ludicrous to let them get away with such a crime… but if those individuals had paid for their double-crossing with their own lives, why should their clan continue to suffer if they had no part in it? If the militant authorities happened to learn about the duplicity, the rest of the clan could expect complete exile from the rest of their society -- and that was if they were lucky. But the actions of their clanmates had led to the death of two fangs, and Erama as well… Ayatah knew the friendship her lover had had with his fang leader. It would be painful enough to witness her death, but to see her die by the blades of traitors…

Yes, now she understood why he was so desolate, so withdrawn. No doubt other horrors occurred down in that cave, but for now Ayatah was content with the information she had just learnt.

But there was still nothing she could do, even though she now knew what had happened. No words would bring the closure she knew Razkar needed, and even if they could, what would she say? If her own wounds could not be healed by lovingly whispered words, why should his be any different? Is there anything to bring us back?

And suddenly Tinnok’s arms were around her, and Ayatah lent into the hug and the long-needed support. There were no tears in her eyes, however, which in itself came as a wry surprise. She was beyond crying now, and instead everything felt a little numb, as if the pain was not her own but someone else’s, someone who had existed before her. ”It’s not like it was planned, or… wanted,” Myri, whenever she said or thought that word, an unfathomable amount of guilty washed over Ayatah.

The life had not been wanted, but that had not meant she didn’t want it either. No, none of it made sense to her, either. ”I haven’t told Raz, even though I should. How can I tell him? He’s lost so much, and now I have to tell him that something else was stolen from him - us.”

She shook her head, dispelling those critical internal voices that called her coward, coward, coward.

|| Ayatah's speech || Ayatah's thoughts || Others' speech ||

[Tinnok]

Tinnok was a little hazy on relationship advice, and even more reluctant on giving it, seeing as she had remotely...no experience in relationships short or otherwise. The advantage of any advice she could give in this case was that she did know something of the Eagle, how he operated at least in some way.

"It would sadden him I think, to know of what could have been."

Tinnok's head slid to the side somewhat. "But do not feel guilt for regretting the loss of the child only after it was gone. Perhaps take it instead as the universe telling you that it is not the right time..."

Tinnok snorted. "That was horrible, I'm sorry." She couldn't help but smirk at her horrible attempt to cheer up her friend, but she hoped the act itself was what counted. "See? This is why I just don't talk."

The half breed released her hold from Ayatah, scooting off just a bit to the side, and re-filled Aya's glass. "But I'm glad you told me...it must have been hard carrying such a burden."

Tinnok's legs folded beneath her and she took a sip of the sickly sweet wine, slowly feeling it sink into her stomach. She leaned back. "I wouldn't worry about telling him. Perhaps it is the Myrian in me, but as the female, it is the hardest burden for you. If and when you tell him, he will understand why you took your time to do so."

And that was that. Tinnok fell back against the grass, and seeking to change the subject, knowing that to linger on such sadness wasn't wise, she grinned and glanced at her childhood friend. "Tell me one of those stories, of lands far away that you like to read in your silly books."

She stuck out her tongue. Tinnok enjoyed reading every now and then, but not to the extent that she knew her Eypharian friend sought and desired such knowledge and adventures locked away in dusty tomes.

[Ayatah]

Ayatah found herself chuckling and shaking her head slowly. This was what she had needed for so long; someone to reassure her that she was not a pile of Tskanna shit for keeping this secret. And the fact it was Tinnok - probably the only person who change her sadness to laughter - made it all the better.

”I’ve wanted to tell you, or at least tell someone,” she said, looking into the dark red wine in her glass, ”but I didn’t know whether I could morally tell someone else and still keep it from Raz.” She took a sip and swallowed. It was still clearly difficult for her to discuss this, but she continued all the same. ”I think I will tell him one day. When I’ve accepted what happened and perhaps stopped blaming myself.”

Although I can’t imagine that happening anytime soon… She kept those thoughts to herself.

She was glad when her friend stimulated another conversation topic. She had shared her secret, they’d discussed it, and that was that. That was all she needed. But the question made Ayatah frown, yet a sheepish smile remained on her lips. Yet again, she investigated the inside of her glass. ”I have actually been reading a lot about Zeltiva.” Her reading of the barbaric books varied from children’s fiction to heavy-duty medical books that discussed things she didn’t even understand. But recently, the eastern port city had attracted her attention. ”It’s home to the oldest university in Mizahar, and the library of that university is the only real library in the lands. At least, one that has the biggest collection of books covering the most topics.” She leaned back, all concerns from the previous conversation forgotten about. Instead she wore a dreamy smile, as the collections of ancient texts were a dream come true for her. ”Can you imagine? All that knowledge, and about so many things!”

She paused, suddenly very aware of the unsaid implications of her words: Zeltiva excites me in a way Taloba never could. It was almost treacherous to even think of, and yet recently, Ayatah found herself imagining what it would be like to stand in the middle of that great library, surrounded by thousands and thousands of books. ”Of course… that’s in Zetiva. The barbarian lands.”

|| Ayatah's speech || Ayatah's thoughts || Others' speech ||

[Tinnok]

The half breed nodded. She of all people could not advise one when and when not to say something, but was glad to be the half breed's confidant in this matter. She would not reveal any information to the Eagle that her friend did not wish to give, after all, it was her tale to tell.

"Zehl-tee-vah" Tinnok said slowly, sounding out the strange and foreign word. Imagining a great library piqued the abominations interest, though she knew not as much as Ayatahs. She rather liked the strange cavernous collections of scrolls and crumbling books that were on hand in the temples and old buildings of Taloba, but she knew from years of experience with her knowledge seeking friend that one got bored of such information eventually. At first she didn't even get the connotations of Aya's words, too busy was she thinking of white marbled halls filled with pristine books. Too clean and rich for Tinnok's blood, but she could see her friend fitting in nicely there.

Then her eyes widened a little and a small smile crossed Tinnok's lips. It was not the first time Aya had hinted at the barbarian lands. "Oh come off it, Aya, your blood tells you to go just as mine tells me to stay, the knowledge of Taloba can only keep you for so long, no?"

It was true. The Eypharian had that distant blood from faraway lands, but Tinnok's dual nature almost solidified her entirely within the jungle. Perhaps that was one of the many reasons why she felt so utterly at home there.

She sat up, eyes twinkling mischievously. "Would you go to this great land of Zehlteevah, become a professor among the barbarians? Have students young and old swoon over your beauty and intelligence?"

Tinnok flopped back down to the ground. "No...perhaps you would avoid the people at all costs, bury yourself in the darkest corners with just a single candle to light your books and stay there all the night reading about the world, magic, the lands your father hails from."

Tinnok tilted her head. "Or something in between?"

What if games ahd always been popular between the two outcasts. One rarely spoke of 'what if I was a pure blood?' That topic was a bit too close to home. But "What if I was (fill in the creature here)," adventures far away or becoming Myri's right hand. If anything the two girl's lives had provoked strange imaginations from the two of them, willing to come up with any and every story. Tinnok always found Aya's more imaginative, however, which was why she enjoyed listening to her friend speak of lands from afar and their bizarre habits.

[Ayatah]

Once again, her friend was right.

Nobody other than Tinnok understood that strange dichotomy of being a half-breed: having one half of your heritage from Taloba, the other half from Zinrah or the deserts. Feeling the tug from both places, though belonging to neither perfectly. And like she had said, part of Ayatah existed beyond the jungle, just as her lineage would have her remaining there.

Sighing, she admitted defeat and allowed a hangdog grin to claim her expression once more. ”Something in between, definitely. Obviously students will be all over me, but I’d have that whole ‘dark-and-mysterious’ thing going as well.” Chuckling, she stretched her arms out, then retracted them and lent upon her elbows.

”But we shall see,” her face darkened slightly now, that guilt back once again. There was so much to do in Taloba, so many patients in the infirmary that needed her help (however novice she may be). The jungle needed claiming back once again, and Myri only knew how long that would take. ”We’ll see.”

She nodded, as if putting that pipe dream on hold for the time being. There would be a suitable time to go to Zeltiva, she was sure. ”So,” she said, sipping at her wine and looking to her friend inquisitively, ”how is the jungle faring?” The ability that came with Ciayha’s gnosis had always fascinated Ayatah: being able to communicate with flower and fauna, how strange! Though she had no doubts that the jungle had some interesting stories to tell over the years. She was far from as earthy as her friend, but Ayatah still found herself concerned with the health and cleanliness of the jungle. It was, after all, their home.

|| Ayatah's speech || Ayatah's thoughts || Others' speech ||

[Tinnok]

Tinnok had no more words to offer. There was a lot of work to be done in and around Taloba to draw Ayatah back to the folds of the City, but she knew that temptation that lay outside of the jungle. There was one for her as well, latent and low as it would be for any outcast that didn't belong. But it was not the same, it did not run in her blood as it did for the Eypharian.

How did the Jungle fare? Tinnok rose from the ground and paced around a little. "It is well, at least...I think." She smirked. "I'm still kind of new to this, after all."

She rested a palm on a nearby branch. "Trees are slow and quiet, calm and patient. It is strange to talk with them because it isn't any sort of speech like us talking now, it is...a strange communication. I can tell if a tree is healthy by the way it feels, if I can tell it is absorbing sun and water regularly, or if it is sluggish and sickly." She shook her hand a bit. "Everyone is so upset at the forest, its growth rate and how the jungle overtakes everything we have built in trails, but I cannot be unhappy, the jungle is flourishing. Even if it is through unnatural means, there is nothing unnatural about the growth...if that makes any sense."

Tinnok forwned thoughtfully and took a step back. "I like to think the jungle on a whole is well, but there are always pockets of corruption and unhealthiness, sometimes because of Djed, sometimes because of strange creatures or disease...it is a great amount of work to try to maintain such balance. Makes me appreciated Caiyha more with each passing day, if that makes sense. I am asking that too much..."

The half breed smiled and forced herself to stop pacing, sitting back down near the fire. "But this is where I belong...it is good to feel that every night when I go to sleep." She turned to Aya. "I know you will find it as well, perhaps here, perhaps elsewhere."

She said it with an innate confidence born of one who had found it within herself, and smiled contentedly as she assessed her friend. "So, what did we used to do on these nights, whispering of your exploits with boys and painting our toenails with animal blood?"

[Ayatah]

Ayatah nodded along as her friend spoke. Yes, the overgrowing jungle was causing a lot of problems for their people. Hunting took twice as long; children were not allowed to play amongst the overgrowth for fear they’d get lost and never return; even seasoned fangs got easily confused.

But Tinnok was right; the jungle was growing, even if this growth was unnatural and a burden. In the horror of the djed storm, Myrians had died, disappeared or were blinded. But the jungle had simply flourished. ”I’m glad. Without the jungle…” She stopped there; that sentence did not need to be finished. The jungle was more than their home; it made the Myrian people who they were. She cleared her throat, before speaking once again. ”The fact it grew and remains largely undamaged… It is a sign of our home’s strength.”

The news about corruption made her frown. Ayatah had never understood the principals of djed or magic, though she knew roughly what they were and how they worked (or thereabouts, anyway). But clearing an area of sullied djed was not as simple as killing a Dhani or Yukman. ”What can be done about these places of… magical corruption?”

Ayatah smiled as her friend rejoined her by the fire. ”The jungle is lucky to have you, Tin.” She said, placing a hand on the other half-breed’s lap to signify the sincerity in her voice. Her head tilted to one side then, and she pulled a face. ”I hope I find whatever the shyke I’m looking for… Or even decide what I want.”

But they’d already spoken about all that serious stuff. After Tinnok spoke again Ayatah gasped, then pouted as she pretended to be horribly insulted. ”There weren’t that many boys I exploited!”[b] Although now she though about it… [b]”Fine. I was… eager as a young girl.” She chuckled. ”But I think we drank a lot - check,” her glass was raised to mark alcohol off their list of things-that-girls-do, ”and… yep, laugh at the many, many, many boys I defiled. Oh!” She slapped her forehead as if she forgot the most important factor, ”and obviously bitch and moan about how life is so unfair.”

|| Ayatah's speech || Ayatah's thoughts || Others' speech ||

[Tinnok]

Tinnok nodded. She liked to think that the overgrowth of the jungle was a good sign and not a negative, but it still remained that the armies trails were eliminated, just one more thing to be stacked against them in their fight against the Dhani.

"Magic is strange, I know almost nothing about it, but..." She tried to find the words. "Djed...I know that it is a life force, we are made from Djed just as we are made from bones and blood, and it can be found everywhere, just like lichen or dirt. So just like every person is different so is Djed...sometimes it just needs to be cleansed, the area cleaned and blight removed, like a festering wound, if there is deeper corruption, well I have not found it, and I am not sure how I would combat it." She shrugged, but truth be told magic was something very keen on the witch's mind. Just as Ayatah had a lust for knowledge so too did Tinnok for the arcane arts...she simply hadn't broached it...yet.

She smirked as Aya gave a sign of reassurance, and suddenly...the mood lightened. She laughed as old memories came flooding back. "Way too many spirits, they addled your brain if you ask me." The half breed ducked, avoiding a playful swat from her friend. "Though I liked hearing about the boys, couldn't keep their hands off you really..."

And then Tinnok laughed long and hard. "Well life certainly isn't fair Aya, it was all my sisters' fault that I wasn't getting any better with weapons, my mother's fault that no one liked me, your mother's fault that no boys stuck around, I mean...sheesh our lives were miserable!" This last part she said in earnest, crowing to the sky like they used to do as teenagers as she took another swig of the sweet red liquid, a warm vibration setting into her stomach.

She shifted around Aya and began undoing her long black hair, combing through it. "And I see your hair is just as dirty as when we were young too, tsk tsk, Aya, you won't be getting any more men that way." She snorted, but was gentle with the hair, pulling it out and slowly beginning to braid it. "I believe it was you who taught me to do this, no? I couldn't do anything with my hair till I met you, just rolled it up in a ball and put some string around it." Tinnok chuckled to herself as she began making one long intricate braid out of Ayatah's hair, interspersing it with smaller ones.

She would miss these times. Though happy and content, part of her knew that these things were coming to an end, and even if they returned...perhaps the two figures who sat their before the embers of the fire would be two different people as well. Still friends, but somehow different, new. Tinnok liked changes, for the most part. She liked the wildness of the jungle around Taloba, and had adapted well to living within the forest, yet a part of her in years to come would still miss this. Slivers of childhood innocence still hung in the thick humid air as they laughed and drank next to the fire, and some of them would disappear sooner rather than later.

[Ayatah]

Ayatah turned around to face her friend as she described the magic of djed. She frowned, though not because she disagreed or found what Tinnok was saying boring. Quite the opposite; in truth, that frowning and slight head tilting was simply her concentrating face. Her cousins did a pretty good impression of it, though old Quinneth managed to imitate it the best.

”I never knew djed was so… integral.” Now the frown was a little more irritated, as if she was annoyed that there was something she knew so little about, despite her vast reading. ”To be honest, I always thought that it was the stuff of evil wizards and witches.” The half-Eypharian winced, ”not that you’re evil! Well…” She pulled a face and then chuckled.

Her rolled her eyes when boys become the topic of conversation once more. They were Myrian; a proud, woman-lead people that only truly needed men to make children! So why had icky boys made up for so much of their girlish chats, and still seemed to?

Because you gave it away as easily as a merchant gets rid of dodgy stock.

Well, that couldn’t be denied.

She joined her friend in laughter, reminiscing on the men of her past. ”Too much alcohol, too loose morals.” Just to add insult to injury, she tapped the side of her cup, still half-full of wine. ”Oh, Goddess! Do you remember when I was sleeping with… What was his name?” She paused momentarily, but when the name wouldn’t come to her, Ayatah moved on with a dismissive wave of her hand, ”anyway, that guy who was my military trainer? The one that let me get off early so he could get off? Urgh, he could wield a sword well enough but he had zero clue about how to use his cock.” Her head shook at the memory, but there was also a glint in her eye that can only be found in a woman was now… more than sexually pleased.

Ayatah shifted her position so Tinnok could reach all of her thick, raven strands. ”I don’t think Raz would be particularly impressed if I started bringing other men to the bedroom. We don’t have that kind of relationship.” She snorted at the mere thought, which in itself was a strange kind of symbolism of her dedication to her lover. ”You couldn’t even brush your hair, wild woman! I know we’re savage Myrians and all but c’mon…”

She giggled and let her friend plait and tie her hair. The two of them were as different as could be, in truth. Had they been purebloods, the two girls would have probably detested each other for all their differences. But their soiled blood had bought them together, turning their differences into complimentary opposites. For all the dissimilarities between them, it had never created a wedge between the two friends.

|| Ayatah's speech || Ayatah's thoughts || Others' speech ||

[Tinnok]

The half breed couldn't help but smirk at Ayatah's admittance of her lack of knowledge about Djed. To be fair Tinnok didn't know much more, but she knew that her time as a witch would expand this lack quite rapidly in the coming seasons. She saw the twinkle in her friend's eyes that held a desperation for more knowledge and grinned. She wondered if all pure blood Eypharians were so fierce in their desire for more information.

As their conversation shifted, Tinnok giggled. To be fair, she was so fascinated with the male species mostly from her lack of interaction with them. They were strange, supposedly inferior beings that took no lack of joy in making sure she knew how inferior she was to them.

"I remember him, I think...alright looking, had the nice arms, what a wanker he was too." She chuckled. "Didn't like me much, but then again, almost none of your men liked me much. I'm not sure what it could have been..." These last words were said as Tinnok dawned one of her signature surly glares, hooding her yellow eyes with brows only slightly furrowed creating a strange mixture of apathy and terse aggression. She sometimes wondered if her blood had driven away any of Aya's males, but she also liked to think that their friendship bred a certain loyalty that if a certain racist Myrian despised Tinnok so much, he was not truly a keeper, as it were.

She could only maintain the expression for a few ticks before chuckling to herself. At the comment about her hair Tinnok tugged roughly on Aya's own, grinning. "Oops, don't mind the feral woman...I just don't think I can manage such lustrous locks within my grasps."

She then laughed as a certain image of the Eagle dealing with Aya seeing other men flew through her mind. "Oh I'm sure he'd be fine, totally understanding and completely...." And she simply couldn't even finish the joke.

Managing to pull herself together enough to finish braiding her friend's hair, Tinnok tied the whole ordeal off with a thin strip of leather and leaned back to admire her handiwork. One great long braid was interspersed with many smaller ones woven around the main braid. She clapped her hand together as if brushing dirt off of them, then undid her own, her wavier deep brown hair falling in dark rivers long across the ground.

"My turn!" She exclaimed with glee that should really have been reserved for getting a new puppy.