Solo [Solo] When shopping goes wrong!!

[Pyren Frostfawn]

=The thief spoke in some strange language and shot another arrow out in anger. Oops..maybe that was the last arrow. He heard an unearthly growl from the distant tree that the thief was occupying and Pyren peeked out from behind the tree. The blonde thief was walking out from behind the tree with his hands held up in the universal sign of "I give up." Pyren breathed a sigh of relief and shouldered the bow coming out from his tree and smiling.

Pyren walked up to the thief without a thought in his mind other than he was glad the thief surrendered. "Well I am very glad you came to your sences, now if you just give me the bow and follow me to the Icewatch I will be sure to tell them you came without a fight...Sir?" He said puzzled as the man stood stonefaced next to the tree as if concentrating on something. The thief made a weird gesture and gazed up at Pyren with hate filled eyes.

"Icewatch scum...I will not...go...to Svanhildur!!" He yelled and made a fist. Pyren rolled his eyes. If the shove at the cart was any indication this guy couldn't throw a punch to save his life...or in this case to not go to the Avanthal prison of Svanhildur. Pyren decided not even to dodge the punch as the thief threw it his knuckles landing on Pyren's right shoulder...and knocking Pyren several feet back. It was an incredibly powerful punch that even the most skilled of unarmed combat specialists would have trouble with. Pyren tried to get up using his right arm but found he couldn't move it. He then heard the cry of the thief for some reason. Pyren slowly got to his feet using his left arm and his ab muscles to right himself and saw the thief holding his hand bruised and bleeding from some unknown cause. It almost looked broken.

[Pyren Frostfawn]

Two weeks later... 16th Spring 513 A.V.

The thief was safely in Svanhildur and taken care of there, Pyren hadn't thought of the thief or the incident since it happened. The Icewatch recognized the thief from several reports of eyewitnesses. After two weeks a member of the Icewatch came by Pyren's hold to give him back the twenty five gold mizas the thief stole. Seemed the thief confessed to stealing the bow and the money. The bow has already returned to the kind old woman known as Auracle. Pyren thanked the Icewatch member and he left as soon as he arrived. He then remembered something, "Hey...any reason the guy was in pain when he punched me?" Pyren said subconciously rubbing his shoulder. He had a Whitevine medic look at it for a few weeks now and it was getting a little better but he still hadn't gotten any more use out of it. No hunting for a while that was for sure. The Icewatch male shook his head and said, "Best I can say is it was some kind of magic...made his streangth go up or something but he probably got too much power when he unleashed that magic. That's what usually happens with magic...ya use to much of it at once ya wind up getting hurt. Take care of yourself" He said and waved behind him as he walked off. Intresting, his first experience with magic. Of course tales of magic were fascinating as he heard them as a child but he never heard of anyone getting hurt from it. Maybe it was a fluke but the Icewatch member seemed to have insinuated that it was an often occurance.

That was when Pyren remembered he still had the quiver and arrows he took from Auracle the morning of that incident. He decided the best placeto catche her, since he had no idea who she was really or where she would reside was the Market he met her at. He took a long walk through the frozen city and arrived at the market after a few blocks. Auracle wasn't at the front of the market like she was on the day of the incident. He shrugged and walked in to the Frozen Falls and walked around. "Fresh fish!! Fresh fish!!! One man screamed at him, another selling rare sugary delights from around the world. He eyed what looked like a bug encased in some hard candy with interest but he wasn't about to waste his money on something like that. Weapons, ice sculptures, tiny carvings, paintings, maps. Nothing that screamed of the old woan who he helped two weeks before. He held the quiver full of arrows in one hand hoping he could find her.

"Hey you with the quiver. Why don't you come on over here." Pyren turned his head to the loud...and slightly obnoxious voice and his eyes met a slender blonde alittleon the short side and definitely not Vantha. He walked over to her and waited for her to tell him what she wanted. "You know my grandma, Auracle?" Ok mistake one, she was Vantha. Or Auracle wasn't Vantha. He closed his eyes, no time for an ancestry lesson. "Yea...I helped her out a few eeks ago is all." He said in all honesty. The woman nodded and pointed to the bow. "Then I'm guessing that's the quiver you stole." She said sounding mad. Pyren stumbled over his words a bit as he tried to explain. "uhm...well I took it...the thief he.." He winced and breathed and held out the quiver, "Sorry miss...I'd appreicate it if you could return it to your grandma." She took the quiver and turned around in the cart. Pyren recognized the cart...it was Auracle's cart. The young woman turned back around after a few oments, the quiver brimming with arrows, maybe about a hundred arrows in the quiver and handed it back to him with a smile. "I appreciate you helping y grandma. I've been taking over this cart for her ever since the incident. She's on bed rest until I say so. If you give me fifteen gold mizas I'll call it even. Consider the arrows as a thank you. If ya ever need anything just come by. I'm sure I can hook ya up." She said with a warm smile. Pyren thanked her and gave her the fifteen gold mizas. He made everything square with Auracle now so he figured his job was done. He might see the old woman again but this whole thing had drained him and he had a barely working shoulder to deal with. These were his thoughts as he shouldered the quiver and walked off toward his home.

[Noblesse]

Pyren Frostfawn :

Experience:

• Observation +5
• Persuasion +1
• Interrogation +1
• Running +2
• Planning +1
• Tracking +2
• Shortbow +3

Lores:

• Shopping at Frozen Falls Market
• Story Behind Auracle’s Bow
• Chasing a Thief
• Dangers of Overusing Magic

Others:

• Possessions: Pyren bought two animal snares, small (10 gm), an animal snare for birds (2 gm), an animal snare for tiny animals (1 gm), a backpack (2 gm), a hunter/trapper’s toolkit (25 gm), and payment to Auracle’s granddaughter (15 gm) for a total of 55 gold rimmed mizas.

Notes:
So I have a few points here but before that, congratulations on your first graded thread! I apologize that it had to be such a long wait before you got your awards for this.

Getting back to the topic of your thread, I was nicely surprised with how you brought your initial idea into print. I liked how the way you described Pyren’s shopping experience felt real to me, from the different stalls to the difficulty in finding a nice buy. Often people skip to the buying part and so I don’t see this aspect of the market much.

Your npc characters look good, and I adore Auracle’s quirky personality! Although I’m curious about her dialogue, her talking felt continuous and unstopping. Was this intentional to depict her being chatty? Anyway, I ask that you try and split big walls of paragraphs into smaller ones to make reading easier on the eyes.

The chase part with the thief was a bit shaky. It’s not easy to for a person to figure out that the piece of cloth was from the escaping thief, especially since Pyren wasn’t even paying attention to the thief’s clothing earlier. It could have been from anywhere really. Although you mentioned the ginormous feet before the chase, so I won’t push this point any further.

On a side note, metal is especially rare in Avanthal, and fences lying about wouldn’t be really made of them since they’re considered very precious. And terms such as weeks doesn’t really exist in this world, only chimes, bells, season and year.

Anyway, please deduct the amount stated above and add what you bought to your inventory. I’m looking forward to more threads from you in the future!

True nobility lies in being superior to your former self

If you have any questions or concerns regarding your grade, please send me a PM and we can figure it out. Heehee.