Solo An Empty Feeling.

Anna attempts to initates herself into Voiding... but will she survive the process?

(This is a thread from Mizahar's fantasy role playing forum. Why don't you register today? This message is not shown when you are logged in. Come roleplay with us, it's fun!)

Center of scholarly knowledge and shipwrighting, Zeltiva is a port city unlike any other in Mizahar. [Lore]

An Empty Feeling.

Postby Annalisa Marin on July 9th, 2013, 2:33 am

Image
Note for STI asked Cloud about this thread a while back and he gave it the go ahead. I have already had Anna research the Void in another thread with another PC that is still on going. Note that this thread takes place across three straight days of fasting and meditation. I'll note a transition with a timestamp.

46th of Summer, 7th Bell, 513 AV

She was alone, awash in the sweet solitude she so often desired with nothing around to distract her from the task at hand. Her house was empty today, as she had made it perfectly clear to her houseguests that she desired no interruptions during this long and rigorous process she had devised for herself. Anna sat on the floor in the complete darkness of her home, her expression calm as she cycled her breathing in through her mouth and out through her nose.

In front of her was a simple plate with half a loaf of bread on it and a cup of water to the side. These were to get her through the days of meditation required for this exercise to be considered a success. They would be her only sustenance for these long days ahead of her, to keep her from dying utterly from thirst and sleep deprivation. Anna had tried meditating on the nature of emptiness for the past few days on and off but it had not brought her any closer to achieving the goal of gaining the connection to the Void she sought. Anna had conducted research into the subject, extensive research and she was hungry for the power that it could offer her.

The young wizard's eyes were closed to the world around her and she was intently focused on clearing her mind of all thoughts other than a simple phrase she had developed. It would be the sole focus she would have on her mind for three days.

All is the Void. The Void is all.

The thought spoke of the emptiness the Void represented, the cold finality offered by its embrace. Anna wanted the power it could offer her for her own, no that was even too small. The young wizard wanted everything there was to learn about magic as her own, to possess more power than the most powerful wizards of the ancient world. The Void was merely a small stepping stone, a thing that would further her research to new heights. She would be more powerful than the greatest wizard at the University, even Professor Stonemiller would be nothing before her.

Her dreams of greater conquest served as a distraction that Anna quickly corrected as she entered back into her rhythmic breathing. Each inward breath was taken at the same time she thought the first part of her phrase, each outward was the second part.

All is the Void. The Void is all.

As the chimes ticked by Anna could slowly feel her mind slipping into the trancelike state of clear thought. It was much easier to achieve in the darkness of her home, there were no distractions and the utter darkness yielded nothing interesting. Her senses were filled with complete silence, aside from the sound of the odd bird here or there. She felt at ease and relaxed, this whole thing was likely going to be much easier than she had first feared. It was soothing, her mind clearing of everything but that single thought.

All is the Void. The Void is all.
Image
Last edited by Annalisa Marin on July 9th, 2013, 3:27 am, edited 3 times in total.
User avatar
Annalisa Marin
Sorceress of Chaos
 
Posts: 1479
Words: 1635951
Joined roleplay: May 19th, 2013, 6:52 pm
Location: Nyka
Race: Human
Character sheet
Storyteller secrets
Scrapbook
Journal
Plotnotes
Medals: 3
Featured Thread (1) Overlored (1)
2013 Mizahar NaNo Winner (1)

An Empty Feeling.

Postby Annalisa Marin on July 9th, 2013, 3:21 am

Image
46th of Summer, 18th Bell, 513 AV

A weariness had slowly been creeping on Anna, one that was impossible to deny any longer and one that was slightly distracting the young wizard from her meditation. It was accompanied by a growling stomach that gurgled in protest periodically, and a dry feeling on her tongue that constantly had her rubbing the roof of her mouth to produce saliva. It was certainly annoying but it was not going to deter her from her goal, she had resisted the urge to drink from the cup of water before her and tear into the bread. She was not going to break on the very first day of her meditation. So she allowed her stomach to complain away.

The isolation was not an issue thus far, neither was the darkness or being stuck in a single position for most of the day. She did occasionally shift in place to provide her muscles with some movement and activity, but it was safe to say that she could feel the wear of time. Not only that she felt tired and her mind was whispering for her to drift off to sleep but Anna refused to do so. If she fell asleep now, it would destroy her work up to this point and make it pointless. To that end Anna's eyes were now open, gazing into the darkness of her home and her breathing continued steady as always.

All is the Void. The Void is all.

It was such a funny phrase really, as the void was indeed all encompassing but was another dimension away. It was not truly all in the sense that it was everything in this world, this world was full and bright not empty and lightless. Anna hadn't really thought over why the phrase had stuck out to her, perhaps it had been an odd placing of words. Maybe the words themselves helped her focus on what she was trying to achieve. It was an oddity either way.

All is the Void. The Void is all.

Anna's stomach growled loudly again and it nearly broke her fragile concentration on the words and her breathing. She had yet to master the art of meditation, but she knew enough simple exercises too keep her mind clear for a period of time. The clarity was tentative and certainly not permanent, distraction occasionally slipped into her mind. However the woman managed to recover rather well up to this point.

All is the Void. The Void is all.

The hunger and the thirst were additions to the distractions, even magnifications in some cases. They made this whole ordeal even worse with the encroachment of the heaviness of her eyes. If these were the challenges she was facing on the first day, Anna wondered what could be coming on the following days. Would it only be getting worse from this point on?

All is the Void. The Void is all.
Image
Last edited by Annalisa Marin on July 9th, 2013, 4:14 am, edited 1 time in total.
User avatar
Annalisa Marin
Sorceress of Chaos
 
Posts: 1479
Words: 1635951
Joined roleplay: May 19th, 2013, 6:52 pm
Location: Nyka
Race: Human
Character sheet
Storyteller secrets
Scrapbook
Journal
Plotnotes
Medals: 3
Featured Thread (1) Overlored (1)
2013 Mizahar NaNo Winner (1)

An Empty Feeling.

Postby Annalisa Marin on July 9th, 2013, 4:14 am

Image
47th of Summer, 7th Bell, 513 AV

Anna could barely keep her eyes open, eyes that were red and angry looking in nature. The hunger had sapped her of a bit of her strength and the thirst was almost unbearable at this point. The loaf of bread and the water were looking really appealing right now but Anna held her hand in check. The wizard was feeling absolutely miserable and it was effecting her concentration greatly as she struggled to keep the distractions from her mind. That was not all, the isolation and loss of her perception of time was starting to nag at her mind. For all she knew the first day wasn't even over yet and she had only been sitting in the darkness for twelve bells.

This was the points where the doubts started to pick away at her resolve and where the concentration she needed started to fracture. Her breathing was less rhythmic and the cycling was imperfect which was throwing her focus off a great deal. The young wizard was beginning to wonder if this was indeed possible or if she had bitten off more than she could chew. It was a troubling thought, that this suffering was not worth it and one that kept nagging at the back of her mind even as she attempted to banish it.

All is the Void. The Void is all.

The words were the only thing that kept her concentration from completely shattering, they were the truth in her thoughts. Anna though now that she could derive some rough meaning from them now. The world itself possessed an emptiness about it, a pointlessness and a meaninglessness that seemed to be accented by people. They lived their short lives out on this world, when truly this world itself seemed so insignificant compared to the infinite nature of the Void. Perhaps it was just conjecture, or a product of a deranged wizard's mind as she slowly teetered on the edge of insanity.

All is the Void. The Void is all.

Anna focused on the words and slowly tried to realign her breathing with them, slowing her slightly out of placed breaths and returning to the correct cycle. The words became more and more clear and the distractions were finally dying down which Anna was grateful for. The biting hunger, unquenchable thirst, and weariness were still there of course. They always were but the clarity was back at least for a little while.

All is the Void. The Void is all.

The professor wanted so much to close her eyes but she knew that to do so would place her close to falling asleep. She could not afford that, not at this stage when she felt that she was nearing the end of the whole ordeal. To give in to her bodies needs now would make the past day worthless and she would have to start over again, she was not going to do that. Not yet anyway.

All is the Void. The Void is all.
Image
User avatar
Annalisa Marin
Sorceress of Chaos
 
Posts: 1479
Words: 1635951
Joined roleplay: May 19th, 2013, 6:52 pm
Location: Nyka
Race: Human
Character sheet
Storyteller secrets
Scrapbook
Journal
Plotnotes
Medals: 3
Featured Thread (1) Overlored (1)
2013 Mizahar NaNo Winner (1)

An Empty Feeling.

Postby Annalisa Marin on July 9th, 2013, 5:38 am

Image
47th of Summer, 15th of Bell, 513 AV

It was some time into her meditation when Anna finally caved and lunged forward, literally attacking the meager meal in front of her. The cup of water was first which she quickly tipped over her lips and drained as quickly as she could. A dry and scratchy moan escaped her parched throat as the liquid poured down it, consumed in long greedy gulps. The woman coughed slightly once it was all down but she was already moving on to the bread, the cup cast carelessly to the side. Anna tore at the food like a starving animal, not caring how it would have looked to anyone watching. She had an urge to fulfill and that was all that mattered at the moment.

The young wizard chewed the chunks eagerly gulping some down only half chewed. It wasn't even particularly good bread but it was still food and right now, taste and texture didn't matter. This was savage and primal in nature, her black hair falling about her and crumbs escaping onto the floor and on the sides of her mouth. There was nothing dignified about her at this moment, nothing that made her look any different from a starving individual hungry for more food.

Once the food and drink was gone Anna was left gasping from how quickly she had scarfed down the food and drink. The hunger in her stomach slowly receded and the thirst on her tongue was less terrible. They weren't completely satisfied but they were certainly better than they had been moments ago. She felt so much better for it, despite the disgrace it might have brought upon her.

Slowly the young woman settled back into her position, her mind moving into action as the words continued to echo it her skull. They had been there the whole time, even when she had not been thinking of them they had surfaced. It was as if they were now etched into her very memory now.

All is the Void. The Void is all.

What was the point in feeding herself if she was simply going to become hungry again? Was this whole thing that was called life simply a delay? Was emptiness truly the only thing that mattered? What the petch did the words mean? Anna was frustrated, but the words just continued to echo in her brain without meaning, just grasps for straws.

All is the Void. The Void is all.

She fell back into her breathing, trying to settle herself and return to her meditation. Every sensible part of her was screaming for her to just give up and rest but the side of her that wanted more power, the one that drove her to become what she was now urged her onwards. Slowly her breathing became even again and all distraction fled from her mind as she entered a state of clarity once more. Still the words echoed, becoming her focus and her meaning.

All is the Void. The Void is all.
Image
User avatar
Annalisa Marin
Sorceress of Chaos
 
Posts: 1479
Words: 1635951
Joined roleplay: May 19th, 2013, 6:52 pm
Location: Nyka
Race: Human
Character sheet
Storyteller secrets
Scrapbook
Journal
Plotnotes
Medals: 3
Featured Thread (1) Overlored (1)
2013 Mizahar NaNo Winner (1)

An Empty Feeling.

Postby Annalisa Marin on July 9th, 2013, 5:57 am

Image
48th of Summer, 11th Bell, 513 AV

It was all becoming so clear to her now, the reason behind the phrase and by extension the world itself. There was no meaning to the words, they were empty and hollow just like the lives led by so many. What was the life of one person, or even every person on Mizahar, compared to the vastness of nothingness. There was a place, far from this world where emptiness was everything and the only thing that was sure. Everything began and ended with emptiness, which meant by comparison the lives of mere mortals were not even specks by comparison. Their was no meaning to anything because the only sure thing was the end, the finality of eternal emptiness.

The phrase itself was so engrained in Anna's mind that it wasn't even echoing, it was part of it by now. It was an instinctual reminder of what laid beyond the portal, a dimension where meaning became meaningless. There was a strange calm that had overcome her now, an odd acceptance that she would not have thought was possible for her to feel. A recognition that compared to the vastness of the Void, she herself was nothing no matter how powerful she would become. It was different than her meeting with Rhysol, that had indeed been humbling but it was a different kind.

In the darkness of her home, with her mind empty of anything but acceptance of the existence of infinite emptiness, Anna raised up her hand. The young wizard focused on the idea of the infinite dimension of nothingness and translated it to the space above her index finger. Nothingness could be anywhere and everything, no matter how small it seemed it was vast beyond imagining.

A rush of Djed flew from her as a tiny portal opened over her finger, the thing chilling her fingertip from its close proximity. Annalisa Marin smiled at her success, before finally accepting the relief of darkness and passing out on the floor of her home.
Image
User avatar
Annalisa Marin
Sorceress of Chaos
 
Posts: 1479
Words: 1635951
Joined roleplay: May 19th, 2013, 6:52 pm
Location: Nyka
Race: Human
Character sheet
Storyteller secrets
Scrapbook
Journal
Plotnotes
Medals: 3
Featured Thread (1) Overlored (1)
2013 Mizahar NaNo Winner (1)

An Empty Feeling.

Postby Abstract on September 3rd, 2013, 12:45 am

Image
Anna


Skills

+ Meditation - 4
+ Observation - 2
+ Philosophy - 1
+ Voiding - 1

Lores

+ The meaning of "All is the Void. The Void is All"
+ A challenging 3-day meditation


Other:


Notes

Not too much to give here, other than a bunch of meditation! Good thread though... I like how every paragraph there was just "All is the Void. The Void is All". I didn't even understand it until Anna figured it out herself...

If you have any questions, comments or concerns about this grade, please PM me and we can work it out!
User avatar
Abstract
In a roundabout way... everything is me
 
Posts: 1124
Words: 382975
Joined roleplay: June 5th, 2013, 4:06 pm
Location: DS of Ravok
Race: Staff account
Office
Scrapbook
Medals: 3
Featured Contributor (1) Artist (2)


Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 0 guests