Completed [Docks] Is This Still Happening?

[Orion Michaels]

65th of Fall, 513 AV
Warehouse and Docks District, Near The Broken Casket
20th Bell

He never got tired of the salty smell that the Suvan Sea brought into the pathways and corridors of Syliras, and he enjoyed it much more when he was actually over near it. Unfortunately, that usually only happened when he was on a patrol, just like tonight. A cool sea breeze fluttered across the mostly quiet district; everyone was either at the Spinning Coin where a cage fight was set to occur tonight, or drinking away at the Broken Casket. Orion enjoyed neither of these luxuries, instead being tasked as one of the guardians of the area. There were plenty of other knights in attendance at the major events of the evening as it were. Orion was simply to make sure that the riff raff didn't get too rowdy throughout the docks.

For the troubled squire, it would prove difficult to stay focused on his task. With a mind that wouldn't think straight, Orion struggled to concern himself with the safety of the docks. Instead he found his thoughts dancing from point to point, highlighting everything that had fallen apart in the last season. He'd apparently tried to drink himself to death as a result of it, or so Lilly had told him.

Lilly..

She was something else, and she was partially to blame for the way he was now. Or perhaps it was all him; that was a reality he’d considered. Perhaps it was all him. Emily, Hadyn, Lilly. All of them suffered because of the choices he made. All of them were punished because of his foolishness. He wasn’t blind to it, and he was sure that none of them were, either. It wasn’t as though he’d long been unware of these truths. The thing that made everything all the worse was the fact that he knew he did and said horrible things, but never quite had the will to do anything different.

Heavy plate armor clanked with Orion as he strode down another corridor, eyes lazily searching for something to distract him. He’d pay to catch a couple of sailors fighting, so that he could deal with them and not have to think about everything which was eating at him. That desire would only live for so long, as piercing blue eyes wearily drifted downwards, losing their concentration on their surrounding. The brilliant orbs nearly glazed over as he lost himself again in contemplation.

I’m not sure what I’m doing anymore…Not that I ever really did. What am I supposed to do?

So many mistakes haunted the squire, wounds he’d caused and received sat there both new and old alike. Emily had gotten the rawest of deals; he wasn’t a father to her, he didn’t even know why he was trying. She despised him with every bit of her being. And why not? She’d gone from a loving, if unbelievably foul mouthed mother to seeing her father every few days while she stayed with a nanny full time. It was rotten that she had to suffer, but what was he supposed to do? The single father gig wasn’t an easy one.

The sounds of laughter and music drifted forth from a short distance away, likely from the entertainment at the Broken Casket. How he longed to throw this armor off, grab a beer, and lose himself in the stories of that night with everyone else. He wouldn’t do it, of course. The knights, or Dinah, rather, had uncovered that sense of responsibility and duty that lay under layer after layer of filth and debauchery. This hadn’t necessarily been a good thing, for in the right situation the best of intentions could be perverted, as they had with Orion.

Why else would the idiot have taken a job for Peyton Morothon?

That had been the beginning of the end. It had been eating at him since he accepted the job. Despite everything having hit him with the strength of Zulrav’s worst of storms, he’d managed to keep himself together with minor outbursts. He’d made some semblance of progress. Then a greasy man and his ponytail had undone it all. The things he’d done to get that job done, they were supposed to be in his past. The transgressions of his history reared their ugly heads again and it was too much. It was all too much.

He’d felt trapped, he’d felt despicable, and he’d felt like dying. A mage-squire, Lilly Grant had stopped him from making a stupid choice by aiding him in making a different stupid choice. Copious amounts of alcohol. If that wasn’t a mistake he’d made a million times on his own. And yet, despite her seemingly genuine and considerate actions, he’d managed to ruin that, too. She asked a few questions of him, just trying to see what had been eating at her, and he instead treated her like she was some common whore for him to pick up. He was pretty sure the slap mark still adorned his cheek.

Now Orion was here, fighting the urge to just quit. Rock bottom had been found nearly twenty days ago. There was no concern of rediscovering that. The struggle was in picking up the pieces which remained. Fragments of the life he’d left behind coupled with the shattered image of who he was to be battled in a conflict that only Orion was aware of. It was tearing him apart inside, but he’d done everything he could to keep it internal. It just wasn’t working anymore.

Orion slid down against the wall, outlooking the path which led by the Broken Casket. Deep breaths escaped from his lips as he struggled to take in the air his body so desperately craved.

Gods be cursed, I’m losing it.

He could feel his eyes welling up. How embarrassing. Was the great doctoring squire, Orion Michaels going to cry? He was the one who was supposed to leave the trail of tears behind him, but it looked like the tables had turned. This time he would be the one to start that path.

[Hadyn Skellig]

This was exactly what the midwife warned her against - meandering around at night without an escort, especially this late into the pregnancy. But, per usual, Hadyn dismissed her grating list of 'do-nots' and proceeded to do the opposite. It seemed most of the blaggards and ruffians concerning the midwife were either wasting their Miza at the Coin or the Casket. Either way the Docks were veritably abandoned, giving Hadyn a moment of peace outdoors.

Pulling the sides of the jacket across her frame, the edges barely covering her belly Hadyn paused to gaze across the dark waters. There were times when she thought she felt the tug of wanderlust on her heart, daring her to set out on an adventure. But they were fleeting, the thought of entertaining such things preposterous. Where would she go? she who could hardly manage her life in one place. But as she listened to the water lapping against the harbor she could almost convince herself to flee. It was the most literal meaning of escaping one's problems.

Wrapping her arms around herself, the sleeves of her brother's jacket several inches too long, the woman stared at nothing in particular. Gods what she would go back and change that night. He was the worst thing to have ever come into her life. But she couldn't bring herself to blame him. Not entirely. He couldn't be changed. He was a feral animal - responding to instinct and faculty free of emotion. He acted on lust, fear and anger.

Her expression was empty, seemingly blank as she watched the clouds part to allow streams of Leth's light to illuminate the Docks. Her dark hair was unbound this night, the energy it took to braid it wasted on completing stupid tasks like folding baby clothes. This life was not the one she was cut out for. She didn't have a nurturing bone in her body and it saddened her to admit she'd spent more time in bar fights than in the presence of children.

The sound of laughter jarred Hadyn from her listless staring, turning her head in the direction of the noise. A pair of sailors emerged from the shadows, hooting and hollering to each other as if they were streets apart. She caught a strong whiff of the poison on their persons, the scent of booze lingering on the air. They didn't seem particularly interested in her, their attention monopolized by staying upright as they leaned upon each other. Wouldn't she love to be in their very shoes, wiling the bells in company of friends, drink in hand. As they approached one fellow raised a hand toward her, calling out nonsense as he stumbled and giggled. Redirecting her gaze to the sea again Hadyn didn't feel much like chitchatting with drunks.

Turning from them she crossed the Docks, the pair in her periphery. While they didn't appear interested in following her one shouted something in her direction, which she pointedly ignored. Moving along the darkened path Hadyn walked with sure steps though she had no destination in mind. She rounded a corner and nearly tripped over a body seated at the base of the building. Gathering herself together the brunette tilted her head to look down at the mess of armor seated unceremoniously on the ground. A drunk Knight passed out in the street? would that she'd be so fortunate.

But no. As Leth's beam filtered through thin clouds a dark swath of hair and a face on the verge of heavy emotion betrayed the Knight's identity. Wasn't that just her luck. The woman nearly choked on her own tongue, having quite nearly stumbled upon Orion Michaels sitting like an urchin in the alleyway leading to the Casket.

It didn't get any more awkward.

There was no point asking if he was alright. Clearly he was not. Tear-heavy blue eyes gave her pause before speaking. Were her mood any less kind she might mock him. For wasn't it just this place he'd left her so very near to crying less than half a season before? And now here he was, pulling in ragged breaths and all but collapsed in the darkness of the street. At this point he'd probably recognized her but instead of heading off on her way or directing derisive remarks his way the brunette took a few steps to his side and lowered herself carefully beside him. Once on the ground she sat with her legs out straight before her, hands around her belly as she rested her head against the wall, gazing sidelong at him.

"Not sure who's goin' to have a harder time gettin' up," she remarked quietly, eyes dropping to his armor before returning to his face. Her expression was amiable, her tone suggesting his present state was of no consequence. She didn't know what to expect from him but at the very least she didn't want to be the asshole who walked away or the dipshyke prodding him to share his feelings. If he wanted her to know what he was doing slumped against the wall while on duty he'd tell her.

[Orion Michaels]

        Then there was her. Of course there was her.

Sometimes the Gods and Goddess had a funny way of smiling on people. For Orion they really seemed to enjoy placing the worst and/or best person they could in his path at the time that is either horrible or perfect. He wasn't sure if this was any of those, and he was even less sure if he wanted to find out. 

Hadyn Skellig. He wasn't sure who or what she was to him. They'd be forever connected in some manner thanks to a ridiculous evening they were both equally guilty in advancing. What started as Orion playing 'the hero' turned into a night of passion, turned into a child on the way. It was the stupidest thing, and even worse, it wasn't the first time he'd been in the situation. That's why he had Emily, after all. He knew he should have learned better, but instead he repeated the mistakes of his past, and that seemed to be a reoccurring theme for the foolish man.

He'd looked up when he heard the sound of two men who'd had a bit too much to drink, expecting to see them trying to stumble past him, but that was hardly appropriate for his reality. Instead, waddling towards him was the mother of his unborn child. Who else would come upon him when he was in such a vulnerable state? It was embarrassing. Gods, it was so embarrassing. Watery blue eyes locked with hers for a moment before dashing away to the side. Surely she was going to mock him, tear into him, and let him know how it felt when he'd left her in a situation just like this. He deserved such a thing, didn't he? He'd been the one who ruined her life. Why wouldn't she take revenge?

"Can't..a..man have a nervous breakdown in peace?" Orion managed a half smile, pulling his gauntlet off to free up his hand. He raised the back of his hand to his eyes and rubbed the tears from them. He wanted to just crawl away, disappear into the darkness of the alleyways and the shadows of the warehouses. They could take his remaining possessions and send them off to Hadyn and Emily and just forget about Orion Michaels.

"I'm one big petching mess, Hadyn. If only you knew what you were getting into, huh?" He stared at the ground, pausing to listen to the winds cut through the alleyway, trying to let the salty breeze revive him. "Trying not to be dramatic, but we know if I've got any talent at all, it's right there." Their encounters were nothing but heavy, unbearable emotions. Orion was already as emotional as a stereotypical pregnant woman and Hadyn was pregnant. It was a horrible combination of up and down, hot and cold. "You should just be done with me, I'm convinced of this."

He felt like everything could boil over again, and with her right there, she'd get caught in the flames, just like every other time. He was hardly in control enough of himself to do anything he'd been doing. A doctor with a hot head? A knight who was unpredictable? A father who would run from his problems, whether physically or mentally? "I've done some stupid things, Hadyn. I . . . I kind of feel like I should hang up the armor. I know you don't care. You don't have to listen, but I just have to say it out loud. It's tearing..." He paused suddenly, another wave of feeling rushing throughout his body. The aftershocks of his panic attack would hit occasionally. 

Orion continued to gasp for air, but he was too worried to be ashamed. There had been too many massive changes in his life in such a short time. "It's killing me, Hadyn, trying to pretend I'm someone I'm not. How are you holding yourself together? I'm sitting here in an alleyway, trying not to blubber like an idiot, and here you are, unwittingly offering me your ear." He sighed, his breathing returning to a normal level. He'd been tasked to walk around and protect the district, and instead he was fighting off drowning in his own pity. "It's pretty bad, huh?"

[Hadyn Skellig]

He was a mess. Hadyn listened in patient silence, head drawn back to rest on the wall, eyes gazing at the star-laden sky while he spoke. Crossing one ankle over the other the woman linked her hands beneath the large belly, delighting in the occasionally salty breeze meandering past them. She let him talk, the words pouring forth as he struggled to keep hold of his composure. She could sympathize.

She kept her face in profile to him, eyes purposefully not meeting his. It was hard enough for Orion to be this vulnerable. Staring at him with what could be perceived as assessment or criticism would do him no good. So she merely stared ahead, letting him wipe unshed tears with her gaze elsewhere. His words were heavy with the difficulty of breathing and raw with emotion. She would, at the very least, do him the courtesy of listening without making him feel as though she was judging him.

It seemed when they found each other in this state one person had to be in control. One of them had to break down and lose their grip while the other held the cards, watching and evaluating. As he pulled in a rattling breath the woman realized how ridiculous they were. She didn't want to repeat their past, the dichotomy of weak and strong nauseatingly futile. Hadyn wanted to move forward if only because spinning their wheels and chasing their tails led to exactly no improvement.

"Not as bad as y'might think," she answered at length, her voice quiet as if she were merely describing the color of the sky. She flexed one foot, the boot encasing it scraping across the other shoe upon which it rested. Smoothing the beige cloth of her dress over her pregnant belly the brunette tilted her head as she continued, still looking at the sky.

"I do care." This announcement was spoken with equal amounts nonchalance and sincerity though she moved on as if she'd just stated the obvious. "I don't think I have it in me to not care. You're in deep, Orion. You've got more pressure on your shoulders than I'd know what to do with. Emily, the Knighthood, this one," a hand ran absentmindedly over her belly before linking her hands beneath it again. "Not to mention handlin' a less than stable woman with a temper."

This time Hadyn let her head loll to the side with an easy grin, her brown eyes finding his face. Poking fun at herself seemed safer than trying to pick apart his confessions. There was a softness to her expression conveying an apology for her past misdeeds and treatment of him. She didn't have to remind him she took responsibility for her childish behavior earlier on and he likely wasn't looking for her to. Returning her head to a vertical position the woman smiled sadly, gaze dropping to her belly.

"I'm not sure there's anythin' I can do to ease your burden. But if there were, I'd see to it." Her voice dropped, their closeness reducing the necessity for him to lean toward her to hear. "I don't wish to be done with you, Orion. I'm sure it seems that way with the things I've said." A pause to look up again, the guilt on her face unabashed. "We're just two fools walking blindly off a cliff. But... I'd rather be one of two fools than alone."

Hadyn closed her eyes momentarily, feeling the heat from his body as they sat together in the night. As always she couldn't hazard a guess how he'd react. She wasn't much in the way of comfort or a shoulder to cry on. But they had a shared sense of disappointment, disenchantment and failure. It was too heavy to bear alone. They may not be meant for each other or even suffer each others company beyond the next season. But she wanted to at least give him the option of her company and consideration.

[Orion Michaels]

Why did she have to be so fucking understanding? He was the asshole who would have left her here if he were to find her in the same state, right? Wouldn't he have just walked on by and not said a word? He really didn't know anymore. While there was a time when he would have, he really just did not know. Yet despite having a better glimpse than most into just who, just what Orion was, Hadyn was there, listening to him ramble on about all the nonsense in not just his, but their lives.

You don't care, Hadyn. There's no way. Not any further than me being the one that helped get you in this situation.

She listed off his stressors, as though he didn't know them. He couldn't stand up under their weight, at least not for the moment. "You've got the right of it. I'm sitting here and I don't know if I should try and drop one of these things and just try and move on with my life. I . . . I don't know if I'm strong enough." That was the truth of the matter right there. He'd been a coward as long as he could remember. He was always hiding, always running, always diverting the blame, but it wasn't going to be possible anymore. Everything had fallen into place perfectly, a symphony of shyke that was forcing him to face the music. 

He couldn't ignore Emily. He couldn't ignore Hadyn. Could he give up the only ambitious which were his own?

The stars seemed a little dimmer that evening, the sky not quite as deep blue as it usually was in the depths of night. She was too kind, and the squire struggled to believe there was anything but an ulterior motive. Yet he couldn't see it. Did she really just want the foolish man to be there for his child? "I've never had any idea what you've wanted, Hadyn. Words and body language, emotion and reality. None of it seemed to say the same thing." He took a deep breath, exhaled, and then turned his gaze to view her fully. "But I guess you've made it pretty clear I can be as big a part of the kid's life as I choose to be. I was..I was worried that kid was fucked, but I don't think that fear is there anymore. With or without me..I'm pretty sure they'll be fine."

She would probably disagree, but Orion could only go off of what he's seen. A woman he initially thought was very like him was actually stronger than the armor he wore. Calm, understanding, and patient with him to a fault, traits he couldn't hope to match. He'd never call her those things to her face, of course. 

"It's just...gods, Hadyn. If it were any one of these things. Emily. You. The Knights. Pey-.." Orion cut himself off before he finished saying Morothon's name. Should he keep such things to himself? Lilly had tried with all her might to get him to open to him about it and he'd burned that bridge as a result. Wouldn't it be just like him to turn around tell someone else about it unprovoked? "Sorry you get to see my like this. Not my proudest moment..."

[Hadyn Skellig]

There was an emptiness underscoring his words. It was almost painful. His confessions were too intimate. Too raw. She wasn't the woman he needed here to witness his break down. It ought to be someone he cared for. Someone he could feel unashamed to bare his shortcomings and regret his weaknesses to. But here they both were and he was disclosing his heartaches to her. What could she do but listen?

Hadyn nodded at his supposition their child would be alright whether he was present or not. Although she agreed in theory it would be nice for the child to know his or her father. But she didn't voice the thought. It was his to sort out. She kept her face in profile to him even as he turned to look at her. Closing her eyes as he continued the woman breathed slowly through a false labor pain while he spoke. She nearly missed the catch in his voice as he went through a list of individuals. Opening her eyes Hadyn let it slide. He caught himself and hadn't offered elaboration - meaning it wasn't her business.

Casting him a sideways gaze from where her head leaned against the wall as he apologized, she shrugged lightly in response. Her expression bore no trace of judgment, lingering between acceptance and thoughtful. Brown eyes lingered on his face, unable to find a precise emotion to latch onto. He was so devastatingly handsome, those blue eyes countless women had fallen into void of the lust or malice she was accustomed to finding. After another tick the brunette turned her head to look at the sky, considering his words in the silence between them. Moments passed as the sounds of the Coin ebbed and flowed on the breeze.

"I'd try to make you feel better but we both know my tongue is lead," she spoke in a measured tone, the words issuing from full lips as she stared into space, taking a breath before continuing. "All the same, seein' you like this." Hadyn paused, brows knitted gently as she considered how best to say the things circling in her mouth, "lets me know I'm not the only one fallin' to pieces from time to time."

Lacing her fingers together beneath her pregnant belly the weaponsmith bit her lower lip, gaze tracing constellations above. How could she possibly tell him there were times she didn't feel strong enough either. He didn't want to hear how difficult it was to be alone. How she struggled through bouts of loneliness and solitude. How the sight of a family out together in the city made her cringe and look away. Orion Michaels was not the person to share these thoughts with. Yet he was undone before her, acknowledging his troubles and displaying the emotions they both fought tooth and nail to avoid exposing.

"Kind of imagined I'd be an island for the rest of my days," she murmured with a slow smile, dropping her gaze to the boots stretched out before her. "Untethered an' floatin' along. Workin', petchin', drinkin'. Seems you thought much the same. The gods and goddesses sure have a sense of humor, wouldn't you say?"

Hadyn's lips pulled into a half smile before turning down as ache bloomed in her abdomen, causing her to close her eyes again. Clenching her teeth through the uncomfortable false contraction the woman pulled in a deep breath. This pregnancy was lasting forever it seemed. She couldn't even wrap her mind around life after the baby was born. How did someone so adverse to committed relationships raise a child? once the worst of the pain dulled Hadyn glanced at the squire with glassy eyes.

"What can I do for you, Orion? I hate to see you this way. I know I haven't treated you right before but..." her voice trailed off, gaze dropping to the narrow strip of ground between them. It was the closest she'd ever gotten to expressing real care for him and there was no note of forced concern or obligation as there had been in the past. Shame weighed her expression down and she looked away from him, staring at the darkness near enough to touch.

Just go back to listening to him.

Don't spill your guts and give him reason to tear you apart.

[Orion Michaels]

Sometimes things would go awry in life. That much was plain enough. No, it was better to say that nearly always, things would go awry. The best of plans rarely survived contact with the beginning of any conflict, and that had held true every time. He'd planned on being a doctor. He'd planned on being a cook. He'd planned on marrying Lyla. He'd planned on being alone. He'd planned on dying. He'd planned on making himself better. He'd planned on giving up. Somehow none of that really occurred, because here the squire was, wearing armor, trying not to bawl on a cool autumn evening. 

Yet even more troubling were all the things he'd never planned to do, and how many times they'd been derailed. He'd never planned to have a kid, and he'd petched that one up twice now. He'd never planned to find himself relying on someone, but when he'd been at his strongest there had always been someone kind and caring who were helping prop him up, knowingly or otherwise. So should it have come as any surprise that she was there? Could he push her away as he'd done so many times in the past? It was an opportunity to confront one of the things that tormented him, but the question of if he would take it was weighing heavily upon him. It would be so much to the contrary of who he'd presented himself as, and in truth, it would be a far cry from who he actually was, too. Yet..

"I know you probably don't care to hear any of this, Hadyn. It's not fair for me to dump this stuff on you, but I won't lie, it's for me a million times more than its for you." He'd made her uncomfortable, he knew that much. It would be so much easier if they could step back in time and just undo the follies they'd committed. What would have happened if he hadn't intervened in their first meeting at the Soothing Waters? "What if we hadn't fallen into bed together? What if we could have just left things how they were when we first met, or at least everything up to part way through our little outpost adventure. It was a pretty good thing we had going, huh?" The blue eyed man turned again to look at Hadyn. The way she sat there cradling her belly. He was sure she'd pull through it somehow. She claimed to be as messed up as he was, and truthfully, Orion didn't know either way. Hadyn was certainly a lot more well-adjusted than he. "I think about it from time to time. No fighting, no arguing. No kid. Just laughing and drinking like we did that night."

The squire smiled gently at her, a tired face fighting to turn the corners of his lips upwards. "There's nothing I can ask of you. I'm still trying to figure out what I can do for myself, after all." The tears had since disappeared from his eyes, a faint moistness visible in certain lights was the only hint of their existence. The ruckus from the tavern just a chime away sang out to cover the silence of their own pause. He wasn't sure what he was supposed to do now. 

He'd said far too much, exposed himself to her, but she hadn't struck as he likely would have were their roles reversed. His neck had been in her jaws, but all she'd done is listen, and despite both their failings at comforting skills, at least she could claim to have tried. 

"I'm not the man I was, you know. I'm not who I've been trying to act like I am, either." His words were soft and uncertain. They held hopelessness, a tone not usually so apparent in the speech of one Orion Michaels. The squire's fingers traced up and down the cool steel gauntlet which lay at his side while he silently contemplated his next words. He opened his mouth on a few occasions to speak, but thought better of it each time, a clipped tone the most which came forth. Finally, he summoned enough gumption to say something. "Any thought on what you're going to name the kid? I think I've made enough of a scene for the evening as it is. At least we can talk about something worthwhile, right?"

[Hadyn Skellig]

Hadyn smiled wistfully with a slow nod when he pondered the past and what could've been. She'd be lying if she claimed it hadn't crossed her mind. On paper they had chemistry - enough for what they were. They could've continued on with the witty banter and the unlimited flow of booze. Even their night of intimacy was structured around the premise of fleeting pleasure and affection. How nice it could've been if it'd lasted for what it was.

He mentioned the out-post, which surprised her somewhat. He hadn't been the most receptive and she hadn't been the most careful. If she were to consider that trip she'd remember how surprised she was when he rebuffed her offer for a romp. The man was so guarded of his past and secrets that he denied her offer for an apology petch. Hadyn hadn't thought of that particular memories in seasons. It all seemed to petty and ridiculous now.

When he commented that he wasn't the man he used to be she looked at him with raised eyebrows. It seemed a obvious statement but she made no comment, the misery in his voice giving her cause to keep quiet. She wanted to tell him she knew. But there was nothing for it. He deemed it necessary to inform her of this and all she could do was nod understandingly. Brown eyes flicked back to his form when he diverted the conversation from himself. Swallowing carefully Hadyn let his query hang in the night for a moment.

"No," she answered after a chime. "Not really. Figure if you want a go at it we can decide on a name when the baby gets here."

Hadyn's voice fell silent as she looked down at her belly. Now that the attention was no longer on his anguish and troubles she was feeling uncomfortable. Why did it have to be so damn difficult to be around him? she wanted to listen to him but she also wanted to tell him of her grievances. Pulling in a breath she felt a heaviness on her heart, settling like an anchor.

"Orion, I'm not sure what I'm doing." She murmured, brows knitted. "What'd I do to go back to the people we were before this. 'Haps I could've resisted your charms." The brunette flashed him a half-serious smile before sighing, her lips settling out of the smile. "I exhaust myself of self-pity. It's difficult 'nough to be pregnant but the weight of guilt an' shame. Petch."

Hadyn pulled in a breath, the anchor on her heart sinking it a little lower in her ribcage. Crossing her arms over her chest she leveled her head against the wall, resting a bent elbow upon the other arm, hand curling so she could absently worry on a thumbnail. Her expression was dark as she wavered between heavy emotion and emptiness. After a tick she paused to look over at him.

"I dread the moment this kid comes into the world an' there's nothin' to wonder over." Hadyn shook her head. "Sure 'n that's the worst thing for a mother to say, hm? I just... petch if I know what I'm doin'. Some god-forsaken part of me wants to do somethin' to help you but it ain't my place."

Her visage displayed the distress she felt, making no attempt to hide it. She didn't want to break down, especially not after his show. What were they then? two jackasses whining about their struggles. No, it would not do. But she had to catch a grip before her heart sank any lower, bringing the tears and loneliness up. With a slow breath Hadyn tilted her head until it rested on his armored shoulder, her torso leaning to the side. It wasn't particularly intimate but she didn't know how else to keep the emotions at bay. She made no apology for her action, the cool steel of his armor chilling her heated skin of her temple.

"Reckon we're both makin' a scene."

[Orion Michaels]

He thought it odd that she’d not even considered a name, but who was he to judge? It wasn’t as though he knew anything about how this was supposed to work. He was as much a stranger to the path they journeyed. Both together and separate they were walking a path foreign to both squire and smith. Neither of them asked for it, nor did either of them ask for help on how to tread it softly.

Uncertainty. Didn’t that just tie a bow on everything that was them and that child? He knew she was as confused as he, they’d both articulated it in as many ways as humanly possible. ”Oh, I know that much wouldn’t have happened. Resisting me? Now I know you’ve gone crazy.” This drew a soft chuckle from Orion, and even better, a genuine smile. A taste of the banter lost in desperate days and lonely evenings rose to the surface the battered pair. ”I think we’re of like mind, there. I’m the one trying not to cry in an alleyway, aren’t I?”

”I..I wonder if that’s a common feeling that new mothers, or soon to be mothers, rather, have,” he commented, eyes wandering down to her belly where their child lay. It was a scary thing, childbirth, and not just the fact that another being came under your care. It wreaked havoc on one’s body. While he had not the knowledge of a midwife, Orion knew that they were effectively parasites while they were in there. Some might argue they continued to be so for many years afterwards, too. He couldn’t blame her for being fearful. Anyone who said they could was a liar. ”You’ll figure it out. People see to do it somehow. Awful lot of us humans around for it to not be so, huh?” What he couldn’t figure out was just why she wanted to help him so much. His problems were self-induced, and yet every time they met, she was trying to sacrifice or something?

”..I just don’t get it Hadyn. You’re the one with the weight of the world on your shoulders. I could go to my room, grab a bag of coin, and drop off enough to care for this kid until it’s old enough to care for you.” He didn’t move, didn’t react when Hadyn rested her head on the shoulder of his armor. She had to be exhausted, it was no short trek to the docks even when you weren’t pregnant. ”I’m fine, despite volatile emotions. No different than normal. So..why do you want to help me so much?” He'd all but moved on from his earlier scene. There was nothing left to say on it, and even if there was nothing she could do about it, nothing she could say, it felt good to get it all out in the open. Or most of it. Some of it, out in the open. He was still waging wars in his mind, but at least a battle had been fought and won.

"I don't know about you, but making scenes is what I do best."

[Hadyn Skellig]

"Resistin' you ought to be a sport," she replied wryly with a small grin. Neither had lost their ability to tease and jest. It was just buried under the damnable drama that reared its ugly head so readily when they were together. Although she knew it was impossible to coast through life on witty remarks and sarcasm it would sure be a welcome reprieve.

She offered a one shouldered nonchalant shrug at to his question. His guess was as good as hers. Bringing a hand to her lips she curled it into a loose fist, blowing hot air into the space to warm the skin. Though fall had been rainy and mild there was a chill in the air that bit through clothes and nipped exposed flesh. Lowering the hand to run across the curve of her belly Hadyn readjusted her head gently against his shoulder. Admittedly he could've been anyone - she just needed to rest. The fact that he didn't shove her the other way and lay into her was an added bonus.

"Don't know," she answered with hesitant honestly after a moment passed. "Are you really fine? If you are I envy you. Suppose it's practice for carin' for the wellbein' of the child."

It was somewhat humiliating to admit. She, a soon-to-be mother and she didn't know how to concern herself with another person's health and happiness. But he was no stranger to living the solitary life - concerned only for himself. Extending sentimental thought or emotions to others was dangerous. Now she had no choice. Swallowing the initial uncomfortable rise in her chest the woman let it go. Pulling in a breath the weaponsmith closed her eyes as she spoke, her words just above a whisper.

"If this kid's gets anythin' from us I hope it's not our knack for stubborn irascibility."

Hadyn smiled releasing a slow sigh. The baby was moving slightly, pressing against her hand where it rested on the swell of the bump. She wearied of the emotions they threw at each other. All she wanted was to sit with him. No yelling, no attempts to explain a ridiculous emotion, no guilt. He wasn't changing and neither was she. The more anyone pushed him the further he dug his heels in the dirt - a tactic she was familiar with, yet still found herself annoyed by. But they could at least partake in this quiet side of one another without expectation or nerves. After a tick the brunette tilted her head against his shoulder to glance upward, though she couldn't see his face from where she was.

"Thanks for not makin' me feel like an ass."