Closed [Ivory Aerie] Discussions, Winter Looms (Kovac)

[Lavira]

Vira felt a giddiness lighten her steps as he came to her, his arms around her middle as hers slid up to wrap about his neck. She let the feel of her against him further sweep away the tension of the discussion and the coolness of the glass behind the curtains soften tempers that might have flared. There was always an easiness between the pair, like two pieces of a puzzle that slid easily into place. It was different, Vira was certain, from any other Kovac may have had with others in his life, even those which had helped stabilize him historically.

She couldn't compare this to his past lovers or ladies of lust; it wasn't fair to given her inexperience, but her general Inartan pride liked to think that perhaps what they had was better than what he might have had before. If nothing else, though, it was better than she could have hoped for from others. It still boggled her mind that Kovac would have picked her of all people; but it was good sort of bewilderment, the kind you felt at a particularly unexpected gift.

And then he called her randy.

Before he could kiss her, let alone scoop her up, she leaned back and crossed her arms, her right eyebrow lifting and a terse frown pulling her lips down. "I hate when you call me that. I am not a lecher, and I most certainly do not go lusting after you like some rut-driven cow." The teen turned her head so the right of her face was towards him, cutting off her sight as a result. "And I don't like the comparison..." Maybe it had been accidental, Vira's mind finding the similarity too close to how others in the caste behaved when about the city, as if they were all just dogs in heat.

Vira turned her head back a few ticks after, her features softened by the slow exhale she made. "I don't want to be lusted after or lust after you...Just love me; that's enough. Alright?" She waited to see if he would agree before she pushed up on her toes and kissed him at last, lips sealing over his in invitation and her arms sliding around his neck. Though it lasted only a few ticks, she tried to put into the kiss her forgiveness and her hope that they might still end the day loving, not lusting, on one another.

[Kovac]

The smile vanished from Kovac's face as Lavira's affection turned to indignation and she dressed down the Avora. Kovac was perplexed at first, unable to see how a single word had so offended her. It was a light hearted statement, certainly, but not one intended to demean or degrade the woman, seeming as harmless as the innuendo laden jokes they made together. But her reaction left no doubt that he had somehow called her a whore without realizing it. It was the last thing Kovac would do.

The Avora scowled a bit, himself offended that she all but accused him of seeing her as no more than an object for sex. Had he not displayed his love to her over and over? Deeper down, Kovac's visceral response was defensive, because he knew she had the right to ask him not to talk to her like that. His pride was pricked, his libido deflated.

Lavira felt comfortable wrapping up the chastisement with a kiss, though Kovac's foolish pride had been bruised. His lips barely responding to her kiss, his hands hanging at his side. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to offend you." He replied cooly. "I don't love you because I lust for you. I lust for you because I love you." His hand raise to brush against her cheek, but any desire for intimacy had been quashed by the rebuff. "I am going to make a sandwich."

[Lavira]

It didn't take a genius to feel serious lack of return when she kissed him. His hands didn't even move, they which so often embraced her and held her when they shared in frustrations of the world. His lips did not so much as open to permit the affections; it was a cursory act and nothing more. Even the apology felt forced. This obvious lax in contact made the teen mentally twitch and it was quickly that her own arms retreated from him him and her feet took a small step back, eyes tight at the corners and her fingers flexing in the fabric at the back of her bryda so that he would not see the obsessive behavior.

All he did was reach to touch her, her head tilting into the palm which cupped her cheek now, and explain, briefly why it had been said. Lust because of love; that, she could believe. But it did not mean she liked being called randy. Besides his almost callous dismissal of the moment bothered her, amplified by the fact that he now wanted a sandwich. Of all times, now? Seriously?

With her hands behind her, her fingers rubbed compulsively against the fabric of her bryda, smoothing then bunching, smoothing then bunching again, the OCD behavior summoned in funny moments like this. "You're going to go make a sandwich..." It was the best she could think to say right then, repeating his words slowly in her mind while staring up at him. "You can't even fake sincerity." Vira's head shook and she let out a low 'huh" of a laugh before walking past his left side, her ride, keeping him, again, intentionally on her blind side as she returned to the couch.

But it wasn't to sit. The teen grabbed the cushion they had been sitting on and pulled it out, using both hands to fluff it up one, two, three, four times, each fluff counted under her breath. She turned to the middle one and repeated the pattern, one two three four fluffs murmured beneath her breath each time, and then again for the remaining pair of cushions. "You don't have to lust to love me, you know." She grumbled moving quickly and stiffly to grab one of the squares of cloth that were kept in the closet, used for cleaning, and returned to the couch, beginning a methodical wipe-down of the leather trim and soft felt. Her movements, as with the cushion-fluffing, were measured precisely. The cloth was moved in six inch circles across the back of the couch and then the top, then the left arm, followed by the right, before reaching the round wooden legs.

She would turn the cloth over and come back to the curtains, her single eye picking out things like a hawk in study of a field. First it was the handles, each one of the curtains' being methodically wiped down. Then came straightening the cinks in it, pulling it out where it needed to be. "Passion comes in more forms than just sex. So does love..."

Hoping he would still be found in the commons now, Vira added whiel working on the second half of the curtains, her head tilting to the room, "Is it because that's all you know?" She didn't mean for it to be accusing, her frustrated gaze hoping to find him lingering and not tuning her out to get a sandwich. "I mean, you did used to smother your woes in alcohol and sex. Is that...is that how you deal with emotions you're not sure about?" She hated to think she was immasculating him, but it sure felt that way now. Was it a lack of confidence in the relationship?

[Kovac]

Lavira responded to Kovac's coolness with equal withdraw. Kovac instantly regretted the whole incident, knowing now how he must have made the woman feel with his cold response. It felt terrible. He did not retreat to make the sandwich, which he didn't want in the first place, but watched Lavira begin a cleaning regimen with the precision of a clockmaker. But with each pat of the cushions, Kovac saw her frustration.

Kovac listened as she spoke, but still missed the point. He loved her, he loved to make love to her. Then it dawned on him that, maybe, she didn't want to look at sex between them like, well, he once had. She was right, dammit. He did know the difference between sex and making love, and he had made something beautiful between them cheap with his stupid comment. Kovac stepped forward, interrupting Lavira before she went on and said something really hurtful.

"Vira, I get it. You are right, sex was not always about love for me. I don't want you to think that what we have is cheap like that. I love to make love to you, and when we are together, that is what it is for me. Love. I didn't mean to make you feel cheap or unappreciated or something to use. It was a stupid thing to say."

Kovac stepped closer, reaching out to take her free hand in his, if she would let him. "Look, I am who I am, you know that better than anyone. I am still learning how to...love someone. I don't want you to ever think I don't respect you. Hai yes I love sex with you. Guilty. But there is always love there, not just a rutting dog."

[Lavira]

The teen was just about to go find a stool to get on to reach the shelf with the braziers when Kovac caught her hand, halting her compulsion in its tracks. She closed her eyes and shuddered, squeezing his in return, before turning to face him, her features drawn with tension.

"It was a stupid thing to say..." She paused and slowly lowered her eyes, at last moving closer. "...but I started it. That stupid eel joke and all. I'm sorry." They could blame the tension on the seasons events, Vira reaching for his other hand now and folding her fingers into the palm while her thumb rested over his, tracing paths in the lines upon them. "Don't get me wrong, hon, I like what we have too. It's fun. We don't get much in the way of fun anymore, anyways with all that's going on; it's quite refreshing. But I like the intimacy more than the excitement."

If her let her, she'd press in closer until her breasts were pressed against his and her hands could disentangle from his own and slide around behind and up his spine to rest upon his shoulders. The teen then turned her head to the left and lay her right ear over his heart, remniscent of the first time they'd made love, sparking the little flame that had now grown into a comfortable crackling hearth. "I like the way you run your fingers through my hair; I like the wildness of yours, as untamable as a condor."

Vira turned her head in then and pressed a kiss to his sternum. "I love it when you say my name. It sounds...I don't know...it sounds right from you, as if nobody else could say it right. I love your scent and the cadence of your heart when it's late and you're asleep and you don't know I'm listening." Her head tilted up finally and her chin touched his chest, both arms lowering to just encompass his waist. "I love you and everything about you from your morning breath to the way you dress; from the draw of your bow and that little sigh you make when we've just finished making love. I really like that one. It's like the world has stood with bated breath for us."

The frustration was passing the more she spoke. "So, I'm sorry that my excitement earlier warranted confusion and our bout. I don't want it to be confused with lecitious intent. You can stand in shyke and coal refuse for a hundred years then walk through that door and I would still feel the same excitement and love-wrought longing I do now. Even when I'm frustrated with things you say or do. Of course, I'd make you take your shoes off before you go walking through our home, but I can handle the rest. Kovac, I'd love you if you were as ugly as me." She didn't say that dreadful word in derision of her appearance. Vira had finally begun to accept how she looked and that Kovac could accept her for it as well. Ugly had become nothing more than a word, and most definitely not who she was.

And once she had finished the little speech, Vira pulled her hands from around his waist and used his hips as leverage to rise up and pause in front of his face, watching his lips and nose and eyes with her own eye. "If all the world should end and Zulrav comes to sweep us all away in winter, I'll love you even then. Priskil willing, it won't happen, of course." Then, the young woman kissed him. It was far longer and far more intimate than before, open mouthed, tongue plying, eyes closed and head tilted to let crimson hair fall over right shoulder.