Closed Quivering Over Words (Kavala)

[Riaris Dovukalis]

Timestamp: 72nd of Fall 513 VA


It was another bright afternoon in the city of Riverfall and the people were out and about. The city as a whole were doing fine and preparing for winter. The Kuvay'Nas were still investigating the acts of vandalism and watching the raid women closely. Riaris was on duty and making his rounds through the city when he received a message from one of the Sanctuary workers stating that his sisters needed him.

The violet hulk hadn't know what to think, and so he rushed to meet with them at Kavala's home where they had been staying for a few days now. He was surprised that nothing was wrong, although it had been his hope that no one was hurt. Still the reason that he was called with such urgency had him vexed, and he now sat at a table in the Within with a pair of bright, golden eyes staring back at him.

Johan was a naughty Akontak, and she could easily, for obvious reasons, drag Nanali along when she felt like it. Riaris loved and appreciated his darker sister as much as Nanali, but there were things that she did that bugged him. One of those things was how she was sitting on top of Kavala's table and staring daggers at him the whole time. "Are you going to tell me why you called me here Johan. I was busy." he asked impatiently.

Johan held her tongue for a moment, judging and thinking of the best way that she wanted to put it. "You haven't told her. Why not? You should tell her you know, she's carrying your child." The white haired Akontak crossed one leg over the other being sure to kick his shoulder as she did so. Riaris turned his chair so that he faced her and took away anymore opportunities to kick him. He had no clue what she was getting at, and with Johan it was always hard to tell. "I can't read your mind, so unless you tell me something now I'm going back to work."

It was so much easier to read Nanali and as sweet as the girl could be, she never spared him words either. But Johan liked her games and above that she liked to pester him. When she didn't answer Riaris stood up and started towards the door, and that's when he heard it. "Why haven't you told Kavala that you love her?"

[Kavala]

In another part of The Sanctuary, Kavala was knee deep in work. She shouldn't have been, but there was nothing like work to heal a broken heart and keep her mind off things. She was trying for an elixir to help her nausia. Even at this stage in the pregnancy, she was still often sick, especially if she didn't consume sea food raw. Anything else made her violently ill usually. And the problem with the seafood is that it wasn't keeping her weight on.

The problem was her nausea was a symptom and definitely not a disease. Treating a disease was far better than treating just a symptom. But there wasn’t much she could do in this case if she didn’t TREAT the symptom. The disease itself would be over soon enough. In fact the ‘disease’ was overdue by several ten-days unless she missed her count. This pregnancy was being really hard on her. She knew her body hung on her bones like a loose flesh sack. She’d been sick with Tasival, but not like this. It was like she was getting a double dose of Tasival and there was nothing she could do about it. A healer less close to the situation would have asked important questions and would have perhaps stumbled on the real answer. But Kavala was too close to the situation, too heartbroken to ask hard questions, and being reactionary instead of proactive.

If she was having twice the reaction that she had with Tasi it stood to reason there might be a reason for it. But she saw none. Her mind was already focused on the fact the baby inside her was a big strapping boy and her physical size with the pregnancy was due to the fact that Riaris was so much bigger than she was and thus she was going to birth a small mountain of a purple Akalak baby . The thought never crossed her mind that she might be carrying multiple fetuses – either twins or something like it. Instead, she had just made dangerous assumptions and carried on as if those assumptions were true. She’d never let Caelum examine her or perhaps one of the other healers, and if she had, she might have caught her mistake.

So here she was, in the philtering lab, thinking about what she could do to treat her symptoms until her disease, pregnancy, was over. Nausea could be caused by many things but the usual were intestinal parasites, nervousness, misuse of herbs, too much drink, digestive infections, migraine headaches, inner ear diseases, too much food, stress of any kind, food poisoning, motion sickness, colic, liver disease, heart disease and pregnancy. Healers were on the fence why pregnancy caused nausea, but many believed that as a fetus developed the body of the mother put off signals to the rest of her body indicating other changes needed to happen, and those changes as a whole often put the system out of balance for a while which was why nausea surged then tended to taper off as the baby developed. But in Kavala’s case, it only grew worse the longer she was pregnant, and it was to the point that she couldn’t keep any food down at all. This was especially true if she ate grains or red meat or even land-based vegetables.

Raw seafood and greens from the sea made things better for her, but just sometimes. During Tasival, seaweed had helped tremendously and she’d gotten through it just fine living off her father’s bounty. But with this one, she was slowly loosing ground. And if the baby didn’t come soon, Kavala was afraid she’d just get weaker. So she decided she’d do something about it by trial and error, working on all the things she could make to deal with nausea.

So she was pulling out all the stops, looking through her medical notes, and making lists.

Ginger, chamomile, dandelion, tumeric, fennel tea, peppermint, sweet basil, lavender, cloves, milk thistle seed, yellowroot, cinnamon… something therein, or else something from the sea would do the trick. Kavala just had to figure out what. She was so immersed in her work that she was unaware that Riaris and Johan were deep in discussion elsewhere in the Within. She hadn’t seen the purple Akalak in a few days, not since the Beautyfest. And though she’d calmed down, Kavala hadn’t felt like leaving The Sanctuary in favor of seeking him out to apologize to him with her fist – for the things he’d said and how he’d treated her. She simply couldn’t, physically… not until the baby was born. The infant still nestled within her was just taking up too much of her energy.

[Riaris Dovukalis]

Riaris paused in the doorway, eye brows twitching and his words failed him. Turning back around, he looked to his little sister with a very puzzled expression. "Tell me this was not the reason that you called me here? What are you up too Johan, I hope you haven't upset Kavala?" Johan could be a bit much at times, the girl was pushy, and liked to mix things up a lot. Riaris was still learning Kavala's emotional levels and he really didn't want anyone upsetting her anymore than he already had before.

Johan huffed as she hopped off the table and moved in front of him. Two blueish, webbed hands pressed against her hips and the girl tossed her silver mane to the side as she stared at her older brother through wide, golden eyes. "No, I didn't upset anyone. But a few of the girls have been talking and we've..noticed things. I think everyone has."

This time it was Riaris who huffed, folding his arms across his squire chest with one meaty finger tapping at his elbow. He would never admit it really, and neither would Recoomas, but he had felt a little out of place spending so much time in Kavala's home. The people there were nice enough, but they were still all strangers to him, and besides his beloved and her brother, and sons, he didn't speak much with the rest of them. Hearing that the girls had been talking, not only did he not know who these girls were, but it was a little unnerving that he was being discussed and judged without knowing about it.

"You noticed some things? No doubt this is about me..and whatever I've done wrong this time.." He grumbled the last bit, Riaris was sure that he knew Kavala's heart and that when they were alone together they were happy. Others got involved then feelings got hurt, confusion reigned and he got a headache. "Just so you..and your girls know. I love Kavala and she knows it. I'm sure I've said..at some point. I had too." As he finished, he became less sure of himself and he couldn't remember saying those exact words, although he had said so in other words.

"No, no I don't think so brother. Girl's don't forget that kind of thing. If you said it she would remember." Sighing the Akontak tapped his forehead with her palm before she strolled off on her own. "I suppose I should feel better. At first I thought you were just being a jerk, but now I see you're just a forgetful goof. Guess that's not as bad." Riaris just stood there for a moment in shock. Normally he could look passed Johan's trouble making ways, but this time it was different. Her words made sense and if she was seeing this, and apparently the girls were also, he wondered if Kavala felt the same.

Riaris snarled under his breath and turned towards the door. He was about to go back to work when he figured that he would just go and ask. His pride and confusion aside, he would just ask and see what she said. They hadn't spoken in a few days and he really didn't know how to dug himself out of the whole either way. He headed off through the area, stalking anyone who might know where he could find Kavala and sought directions to her location.

[Kavala]

Defeating nausea, even in the late stages of pregnancy, was a bit like mind over matter. Kavala was of a mind to keep her food down. The food was of a mind to come back up. She had to be more stubborn than the food because she and the babies both needed the energy. Even now, sitting among piles of herbs, she was perched on a stool hunched over and looking forlorn.

"I should just go back to bed." She grumbled, picking up a vial of the cinnamon essential oil and uncorked it. She passed it under her nose, inhaled it cautiously, and almost immediately started dry heaving. Kavala dropped the vial of oil with a loud crash of glass, infusing the air with the scent of cinnamon, and clutched at the counter to keep herself on the stool. Nothing came out of her heaving stomach because there was nothing in it. Where her head bent over the stool she got a perfect look at the dark oily stain spreading out among the shattered glass of the vial. Pale stone turned dark, and the scent gagged her utterly. She'd have to clean it up, but she decided that would come later.

So Kavala pinched her nose, laid a hand on her swollen abdomen, and pushed off the stool, turning to head towards the door and fresh air as fast as she could. With her eyes on the floor to keep her bare feet from getting cut on glass, she didn't see the massive form taking up the doorway. She ran straight into him, bounced off, and just about landed on her backside. That caused her to release the pinched flesh of her nose between her forefingers, which let the scent of cinnamon in again. Gagging, she tried to shove past the big man in the door, not even looking to see who it was.

"Gotta get out of ...." The dry heaves started again, and she clutched at the door frame, not even moving. She stood there, head bowed for a moment and then finally lifted her head. Her face was ashen. "Riaris?" She said, dumbfounded for a moment that he was standing there.

[Riaris Dovukalis]

Riaris headed through the halls, his thoughts a jumble in his mind. Who was Johan to tell him that he wasn't romantic? Who was his little sister to tell him anything? She had friends, but she didn't have a love, not like he did. What did she know of love when she was just a girl? He molded over these thoughts, but he couldn't be angry with her. For as much mischief she liked to cause, she was just trying to help.

He continued on searching for the room that she was in when he heard a loud crash of glass. He didn't know what it was, and for a tick he thought that his sons might be hurt, or Kavala. Riaris hurried through the halls until he found the room. He didn't have time to look around before a tiny formed bumped into him. His hands reached out on instinct and caught a hold to her before he even realized it was Kavala. "Are you alright? What happened?"

The smell of cinnamon rose into his nose and his eyes lowered to the floor where the stain was settling in. "Come on, I've got you." Everything in him screamed to pick the little woman up and race off with her to where ever she needed to go, but he didn't. Kavala looked like the last thing she needed was motion and he didn't want to make her more sick. Riaris offered her his hand and placed the other around her back to hold her shoulder and slowly led her away from the room. "Take it slow, do you need to sit?"

Riaris would led her to a place that had at least one table and chair and allow the Konti to do sit or stand at her choosing. He tried not to smoother her, but stayed closer to her back just in case she needed his support.

[Kavala]

Kavala was grateful for the big hands steering her forward. They walked down the hall from the lab and spilled out into the library just outside Kavala's suite. She settled into the corner of a big couch and nodded her thanks to him. The smell of the books here and the writing instruments and ink and leather of the couches didn't bother her. And it allowed time for the cinnamon to clear from her nose. The Konti regained color fast once she had unscented air to breath and took deep breaths to clear the last of the smell from her wrinkled nose. Normally Kavala loved cinnamon, but she suspected that almost everything on that list would be intolerable. She'd work though, until she found a reason for the intolerance or something she could tolerate to get the nausea under control. She'd just have to do so out in the fresh air, moving her ingredient list up into the courtyard so she could turn her head to clear her senses, and not risk what happened back there from happening again.

Once she wasn't throwing up, in danger of throwing up, or worried about throwing up, Kavala lifted her head and looked Riaris over carefully. Her pained yet mundane expression slowly drained off her face until there was nothing there at all except the emptiness he might have come to realize was a defense mechanism in the woman. When she was mad, she often decided to shut down her feelings.

"Thank you. I'm sorry about that. I was just working on some new medication and wasn't expecting the smell to get to me like that." Okay that was the truth. It just wasn't what she wanted to say. The Konti urged herself to start again, and she did so, watching Riaris' pale eyes. "What brings you here today?" There. That sounded neutral. Kavala congratulated herself on neither slapping him or yelling at him. She had phrased her comment as well as she could, carefully making it neutral so he wouldn't feel unwelcome or that she was accusing him of something.

In the few days that had passed in the interim since the Beautyfest, Kavala had managed to move from hating Riaris for what he said... or was it Recoomas? She hadn't been sure but she had suspected it was the brother that had said it, and had gravitated into the whole realm of it being her fault, that she was no fun, no beauty... etc. Then she'd moved passed that stage and into the whole realm of not going to care. She had too many other things to worry about, like seeing them all safely through winter with enough food stores, enough medicine, enough space to get all the horses out of the storms that would sweep through... the Konti let out a huge sigh, filling her lungs with the libraries fresh air and suddenly shifted so she could lean back into the cushions, letting the tension of both vomiting and having Riaris right there ease out of her. It did the baby no good, who was busy kicking out on the left side of her stomach. He always kicked left, leaving her right side quiet and undisturbed.

Kavala met Riaris' eyes briefly then let her gaze slide back down his body to hiis hands and finally to her own hands. The baby kicked again.

She ran a hand down the side of her body to sooth him, and frowned, silently telling him it was past time for him to show himself. It was an old argument, and one he firmly and staunchly denied.

Just a little longer... the baby inside of her seemed to whisper in a soft boyish voice. Be patient with me mother... I'm waiting just a little longer.

Kavala stroked her hand over her stomach again, rubbing the left side, and silently and quietly backed off. "Okay... just a little longer. I will try to be more patient. But you are weeks overdue."

No.. The voice seemed to whisper. I need to wait longer. Kavala sighed again, her eyes sweeping down Riaris' body to alight on the hands she had carefully folded, resting in her lap.

"You are killing me...." She said softly, silently, to the child within.

The young Konti had conversed a million times in an imaginary fashion with the child. He paused in his answer this time, slowly trying to reassure her, though the tone of the response seemed to say he too was starting to believe that.

No, you are far stronger than that. We will be fine. Just have patience. The imaginary voice echoed in her head once more, seemingly final, as if his mind was made up.

Kavala brought her hands up to her head, rubbed her scaled temples, and glanced at Riaris again. Did he know the mother of his child was crazy? Was he here to tell her it was all a mistake? And that he was sorry he'd picked her to bring life his child? The voice inside her head, the soft male child's voice echoed with laughter as if reading her thoughts. Instead of commenting on all of it, Kavala said instead...

"How have you been?" Her voice was soft, almost pained, with a hint of distraction to it. The child's laughter echoed even deeper and she adverted her gaze from Riaris' face, wondering if he could hear it too, hear the crazy inside her.

[Riaris Dovukalis]

Riaris was as gentle with her as he could be. He was worried, having no idea what exactly had happened, but the Akalak was learning about the effects of pregnancy as the days passed. Kavala had gone pale and he hoped that nothing serious was wrong. He dropped down to one knee putting him right in from of her where he could see her and she could see him without having to lift her head far. He was learning bits and pieces here and there and wouldn't forget any of it, should he have another child one day. "Is there anything that I can do?"

The Akalak did learn something new just then, the smell of cinnamon made her sick, at least, while she was pregnant. He smiled weakly and placed his hand on top of her and gently stroked it. Her question caught him by surprise, however he was too glad to see her and the fact that she was ok to take any of it negatively. "That's an odd question. I wanted to see you Kavala. I..needed to see you. I know I haven't been around as much and I can't apologize for it enough, but I did miss you."

Riairis started to speak again, to tell her about where he'd been and what he'd been up to, but she seemed elsewhere. His voice faded away and for the moment, Riaris just watched his love as she touched her belly. It would happen any day now and he would be blessed with a son. He was happy about it and he was happy that Kavala was there with him. They were there for each other because they wanted to be, no contract needed. He leaned forward and planted a kiss on her head and settled on the floor near her where they could talk, or just enjoy each others company.

"I'm more concerned with you Kavala." He said after she asked about him. "You seem troubled, is everything alright? How is our child?" He didn't want to slam her with a bunch of questions, but he hadn't been around as much and needed to know. While they talked Johan tip toed her way back towards them and hide behind the door. She had heard the crash as well, but by the time she had made her way back around her brother was there taking Kavala out of the room.

"You better say it Riaris, or I'll hound you until you do."

She peeked her head out a few times, golden eyes watching them, but with their soft voices she could hear what they were saying. "I can't hear them.." Nanali spoke from within causing Johan to roll her eyes. If one couldn't hear the other couldn't either, but she knew that was her lighter sister's way of saying get closer.

[Kavala]

Kavala studied Riaris thoughtfully, not sure how to proceed. She was supposed to be still mad at him for the Beautyfest and the things he'd said - or at least Recoomas had said - and everything that had went with it, but she didn't have the energy. Kavala instead studied his face and looked thoughtful a moment, feeling far more tired than she should have.

"I'm tired. Your son is overdue and refuses to put in an appearance. I can't keep any weight on and if he isn't born soon, he might kill me, because its becoming a thin line between me having enough strength to birth him and me not having enough strength to birth him. Another ten days and I'll be in real trouble. I can't sleep. I can't eat without throwing things up. He's taking all my reserve energy and yet he's still growing, kicking, and changing positions. So far he is fine. But in another ten days... who knows. All I do is sit around and try to convince him now is a good time. When I'm not doing that, I'm trying to eat something that wont make me sick. I had no business being up at the Beautyfest. None at all. I'm sorry." She said abruptly, and leaned back.

Kavala didn't notice the Akontak lurking and trying to overhear what was being said. Instead she noticed only her hands folded in her lap, own gaze studying the lines of scales circling her hands and up her arms. She glanced up at Riaris, her pale blue eyes meeting his, and if he was astoot he'd read the shame in them.

[Riaris Dovukalis]

Riaris eyes took on a serious look. He had heard stories of women having trouble birthing Akalak children, but he had also heard that Konti did rather well with the. This frightened him greatly. He didn't want to lose her, he couldn't loose her. He leaned forward, embracing her gently and lowered his eyes. "You're stronger than you know Kavala, stronger than me. I know that you can make it, and I will help to ease your pain in anyway that I can." He kissed her hand and held it gently.

This was all so new to him, and he was beside himself whenever Kavala was in pain and he couldn't help her. Akalak had strength and power and they used it to protect those they cared for, but none of that could help her, he fear and that scared him as well. Recoomas was much better at hiding these thoughts and feelings but Riaris wasn't. He wasn't because he had a great life, love, and devotion, and he didn't believe that he deserved them. But it was for that reason that he would fight even more to keep her, to keep them.

He looked into her eyes when she spoke about the Beautyfest, and sighed. He didn't blame her, he'd been a fool, and he wished that they could wipe the event from memory and act as if it never happened. "I'm sorry Kavala. I wasn't at my best, but I want you to know that I am with you and that I love you with all my heart." Suddenly they was a whimpering coming from behind them. Riaris slowly turned to see a tall, blue skinned girl sobbing with her hands over her mouth. It was Nanali. The combined emotions between Kavala nearly dieing and her brother, as far as she knew, finally saying that he loved the woman was too much and the girls switched places.

"Nanail, I didn't see you there. What's wrong?" Riaris could normally tell the difference and as he held Kavala's hand, he reached for his sister's.

[Kavala]

Kavala hated feeling so weak - so vulnerable - in front of him or in front of any man for that matter. But especially, she hated feeling this way in front of him. What must he be thinking? That it was a mistake to accept her into his life and sire children on her? Did he think her inferior because the common thought was Konti had no problems birthing Akalak children? Kavala had no idea what was wrong. Had she been more clear-headed she would have had Caelum examine her and have him take a more active role as a healer in her life for the duration of her pregnancy. But she was stubborn and prideful and thought she could take care of herself. To have it be otherwise was somewhat unthinkable.

One of Kavala’s biggest flaws was the need to internalize everything and take care of everyone around her including herself. She was incredibly uncomfortable relying on others for her happiness, especially men. And it was hard for her, phenomenally so, to admit to him how scared and worried she was … even if it was delivered in the form of a apology she really had no businesses making. He’d acted like an ass at the Beautyfest – both him and Recoomas – but then again so had she. Kavala just wanted it all to be over, for the baby to come or kill her, instead of being stuck in this waiting mode which she could not mentally handle. The Konti was a woman of action, a warrior deep in her heart, not this… weak creature with no resources and no recourse but to wait.

But there were no words to tell him this… no way to explain it to him. In some ways Riaris knew her well, but in others they were such strangers. He saw her as a woman, she suspected, something that needed protection and handling with delicate gloves. But Kavala wasn’t that at all. She saw herself as completely different. Everything she did was to protect herself and her people. Any idea she came up with was for defense and to strengthen her family. Inside her were all the people she had been and all the people she would be. And she knew there was a reason she was going through this ordeal, but the answer eluded her for the moment. Someday it would be clear. Of that, she had no doubt. But until then… she was this and all that she was could be reduced to an overly thin overly pregnant Konti with no strength to do anything but feel sorry for situation. She hated it, and Kavala virtually hated nothing in her life ever.

But she still didn't know how to tell him... or why she should.

Riaris’ words washed over her. Did he really believe she was strong? The Konti looked up at him with worried blue eyes as he took her into his arms gently. Did he know how much she needed him and yet at the same time hated the feeling of being that vulnerable and needing someone that much? He took her hand and held it drawing her eyes to where the pale white entwined with deep violet. She blinked, feeling her eyes fill with tears. He was never this tender… never.

Kavala started to speak but he had more to say. The Konti reached up with her scaled free hand and ran it into his hair, digging her nails into his scalp gently and touching him to draw him closer. She laid her head against his chest, tucked under his chin, and nodded bringing her free hand down and wrapping it around him. She was light in his arms, her whole bulk tied up in her middle. “Thank you. I don’t deserve you. We don’t deserve you. But thank you.” She let his warmth and strength soak into her a moment as she listened to him breath.

The whimpering got her to lift her head and look as well. Spotting Riaris’ sisters standing there, Kavala lifted her head and released Riaris. She opened her free arm to the girl and urged her to join them. She had no idea what was wrong with Nanail either, but worry creased her scaled brow. “Oh girls.. don’t cry.” She said softly, urging them to come join the pair.