39th Day of Winter 513AV
The masquerade ball had been a source of excitement for the young Inarten since it had been announced. Krisa loved the idea of a chance to feel and look like another person: to mask her face, and become a beacon of confidence and a woman of beauty. She was slim, and she could afford to by a dress and extravagant makeup now that she had a fairly steady income, and she wanted to stand out. Who would recognize her with her freckles covered under foundation, and half her face painted. She didn’t want a physical mask, she wanted to paint one onto her skin herself. There were so many idea’s bubbling up inside her that she felt she might explode if she didn’t go shopping right this minute. So she put on a simple blue dress, and tucked Kieran safely into his cage, kissing him goodbye. Then she set out to look for a dress.
The plaza was a buzz with people also shopping for their dresses. Krisa didn’t know what she was looking for, but she would know it when she saw it. Dresses were made in all sorts of colors and patterned. She saw every color, every material, every trim. Some were short, but most floor length. Krisa wanted something that was corseted. Something that pulled in at her thinnest point, and made her narrow hips seem more lustrous. As for color she fancied something darker to contrast her paler skintone. She had to do this quickly. The longer she focused on something, the more she started to doubt herself. Paranoia was always there in the back of her mind, niggling its way forward carefully whenever she did something major. And for Krisa, this was something major. This was something for herself, something that benefitted no one but her. All her life she’d lived for the people around her, but now she was selfishly trying to change herself into something she wasn’t. A beauty.
Krisa pulled herself a side from the hustle a moment and found a wall to lean against where it was quiet, and tried to breath carefully. These petching panic attacks were so frustrating. Not only that, but it was frustrating that she was still having them. What about her life wasn’t wonderful now? She had a place to call her own, she had a job that brought her fulfillment, she SHOULD be happy. Maybe she was lonely. She had one person she could call friend, and she hadn’t known him for very long. She’d no idea what had happened to Lira, the enthusiastic Etherfal, and a couple of times she’d had brief conversations with her neighbors, and other people while she was volunteering with re-building, but very few people she could really trust. Very few who would stick their neck out for her, as she would them.
But that was why this was important. How were others supposed to value her, if she didn’t value herself? Lemma had given her that advise. No... this dress was important for her own confidence. She’d not long made up her mind to look again when she saw it. It was far away, but something drew her too it.
Her steps were quick, and her face was a mask of determination as she closed in on the dress. Finally she stopped and observed it from close up. It was beautiful. Sunset red and orange at the top of the dress that faded slowly into midnight black at the bottom. The dress was like fire and coal, with a corseted top tied at the back with black ribbon. It tapered in at the waist, then flowed outwards Krisa knew it was expensive. She knew she shouldn’t buy something that would cost this much. But her desire to have it had made her impulsive. So little chance did she have in her life to spoil herself, that this was all that mattered to her now. This was going to have to be worth it.
Still, with a smile, she handed the money over, and took the dress into her arms. For a moment she just looked at it, smiling stupidly, then finally she made herself step back from the store and walk away. Now she needed to find makeup of the more elaborate kind. She’d need powder in black and shades of orange and red , the same two colors of her dress, and she would need false eyelashes, Kohl, red pomade for her lips and a powder to match her skin tone. She would also need days, if not weeks to practice with them, having never used makeup in her life. She made her way to a makeup shop and listed off the items to the woman at the counter. The woman suggested a concoction to remove makeup as well, which Krisa was thankful for. She never would have thought about it herself.
The plaza was a buzz with people also shopping for their dresses. Krisa didn’t know what she was looking for, but she would know it when she saw it. Dresses were made in all sorts of colors and patterned. She saw every color, every material, every trim. Some were short, but most floor length. Krisa wanted something that was corseted. Something that pulled in at her thinnest point, and made her narrow hips seem more lustrous. As for color she fancied something darker to contrast her paler skintone. She had to do this quickly. The longer she focused on something, the more she started to doubt herself. Paranoia was always there in the back of her mind, niggling its way forward carefully whenever she did something major. And for Krisa, this was something major. This was something for herself, something that benefitted no one but her. All her life she’d lived for the people around her, but now she was selfishly trying to change herself into something she wasn’t. A beauty.
Krisa pulled herself a side from the hustle a moment and found a wall to lean against where it was quiet, and tried to breath carefully. These petching panic attacks were so frustrating. Not only that, but it was frustrating that she was still having them. What about her life wasn’t wonderful now? She had a place to call her own, she had a job that brought her fulfillment, she SHOULD be happy. Maybe she was lonely. She had one person she could call friend, and she hadn’t known him for very long. She’d no idea what had happened to Lira, the enthusiastic Etherfal, and a couple of times she’d had brief conversations with her neighbors, and other people while she was volunteering with re-building, but very few people she could really trust. Very few who would stick their neck out for her, as she would them.
But that was why this was important. How were others supposed to value her, if she didn’t value herself? Lemma had given her that advise. No... this dress was important for her own confidence. She’d not long made up her mind to look again when she saw it. It was far away, but something drew her too it.
Her steps were quick, and her face was a mask of determination as she closed in on the dress. Finally she stopped and observed it from close up. It was beautiful. Sunset red and orange at the top of the dress that faded slowly into midnight black at the bottom. The dress was like fire and coal, with a corseted top tied at the back with black ribbon. It tapered in at the waist, then flowed outwards Krisa knew it was expensive. She knew she shouldn’t buy something that would cost this much. But her desire to have it had made her impulsive. So little chance did she have in her life to spoil herself, that this was all that mattered to her now. This was going to have to be worth it.
Still, with a smile, she handed the money over, and took the dress into her arms. For a moment she just looked at it, smiling stupidly, then finally she made herself step back from the store and walk away. Now she needed to find makeup of the more elaborate kind. She’d need powder in black and shades of orange and red , the same two colors of her dress, and she would need false eyelashes, Kohl, red pomade for her lips and a powder to match her skin tone. She would also need days, if not weeks to practice with them, having never used makeup in her life. She made her way to a makeup shop and listed off the items to the woman at the counter. The woman suggested a concoction to remove makeup as well, which Krisa was thankful for. She never would have thought about it herself.
