Closed Baby Blues {Shiress}

[Hadyn Skellig]

Hadyn's smile had a subtle touch of mischief made further apparent in her gaze. So the girl was smitten with Tourmal. Shiress' sudden discomfort didn't register with the brunette, her thoughts on how the Drykas and she might get on. After only meeting him once and in a tavern she couldn't quite say. It wasn't exactly her business either. She returned her attention to the auburn haired barmaid as she was walking Liam to the crib. Dark eyebrows rose when the girl's tone turned serious.

"Oh gods," Hadyn murmured, setting the mug on her thigh. "Y'didn't jump him yet, did you?"

Another simpering smile that faded quickly as Shiress settled near her. Clearly a joke was not in order. The brunette's expression softened as the girl launched into a story. Stabilizing the mug where it sat on her drawn up leg the weaponsmith listened carefully. Higher did those dark brows arch as she went on explaining her conflicting reactions. After the girl finished the apartment was quiet save for the soft breaths of Liam in his crib. Hadyn's head tilted in thought, looking sidelong at her friend before speaking.

"Well don't go knifing people," she began quietly, only half teasing. "An' it's no surprise you're confused. You've been through a lot. More than most folks. You're bound to feel ten different ways about a single thing. You're lucky you can even get out of bed and dress yourself proper."

Hadyn paused to offer her an encouraging smile. She wasn't known for her motivational speeches, much less skill in comforting. But she had every intention of trying to help Shiress through this struggle. Rotating the mug in a half circle on her thigh the brunette brushed a strand of hair behind her ear with the other hand before setting an elbow on the arm of the divan. Planting a hand on the side of her head to support it she thought for a moment before continuing.

"It'll be confusing for a while, I imagine. But don't let your emotions get the better of you. Even the good ones. Y'get into a habit of going from one extreme to another you never really know what you want any more. So then... what is it you want, Shiress?"

[Shiress]

Shiress glanced away sheepishly at Hadyn's remark. She didn't plan on knifing anyone else anytime soon. Thinking back to The Coin and the woods, it felt like she was alone, in the shadows watching a stranger. It was as if she had stepped out of herself and allowed a stranger, an evil, despicable stranger, to take control of her actions. It was her, but then it wasn't her. She shook the thought from her head with a deep breath, blowing it out between puckered lips .

Finding her friends gaze again, she listened raptly as she spoke, wanting to soak in every word that the brunette said in hopes that she would hear something within them that would help her find a bit of peace. In truth, she just wanted to throw herself across the divan and wrap her arms tightly around her friend and thank her for just being a part of her life and for letting her be a part of her and Liam's life. But she refrained from the show of emotion, sparing her friend an awkward embrace. For once.

As Hadyn fell silent, Shiress pondered her question, bringing the mug to her lips. What do I want? She had never even really thought about it, not at length, and when she attempted it at present her thoughts reverted to thinking as a slave. For so many seasons Shiress' thoughts would go no further than liberation and staying alive, never entertaining anything else. Having a new life meant having a new way of thinking. She had one and now all she needed to do was start the other, but why was it difficult and confusing?

"To be strong" she replied at length, her eyes dropping again to her lap "confident and independent. To stop worrying what everyone else thinks and whether or not I am living up to their expectations." Lifting her eyes again, she met Hadyn's with a glint of admiration in her expression. In truth, the girl envied the blacksmith. Hadyn Skellig, to Shiress, was the perfect example of a woman; Beautiful and strong, independent and self assured, loved unconditionally by a beautiful, blue eyed masterpiece. Hadyn was the woman that she wanted to be.

"Anyway" she offered, her tone less serious with anticipation of changing the subject, "I'm a far cry from who I was just a season ago, stronger and little more confident, I think"

Sullen and a little more revengeful.

"and the rest will come in time, I just have to be patient, right? she shifted her body around, bringing her legs straight and leaning over to rest her elbows against her thighs, the mug clutched in her hands hovering now out past her knees "The man thing, though" she smirked, green eyes shifting side ways to find Hadyn's brown "if you have any advice to offer me, advise me with how to act around the opposite sex"

[Hadyn Skellig]

The brunette nodded silently as her friend responded, taking in her assessment thoughtfully. She'd seen minute changes in Shiress though most were subtle enough that it took a moment of retrospect to notice. But they were there. She seemed to hold herself a bit differently and speak with more assertion. Both of these were improvements but Hadyn was concerned the girl would throw herself too far in the other direction.

"Y'are," she agreed after a tick. "More confident, that is. But it's not a far jump to goin' to extremes. Don't let what happened to you back then push you too hard in the right direction." Hadyn paused to sip her tea, considering how best to explain this to her friend. "I can't tell you what to do or feel but... just be cautious. It's real easy to overdo the confidence and strength and it'll end up doin' damage. Too much of a good thing..."

She trailed off with a shrug. Hadyn wasn't about to tell Shiress how to live her life. Gods knew the weaponsmith never much listened to anyone on that score. But she could at the very least caution the girl against mistakes she'd made over and over again. Shiress seemed eager to change the subject and Hadyn let it happen. No sense beating a dead horse. And if the auburn haired barmaid chose not to take the brunette's advice to heart that was fine too. Hadyn hoped the girl wouldn't make the same mistakes she had.

"How to act?" the woman tilted her head, pondering this statement. It hadn't occurred to her there was way to act but obviously Shiress thought so. Looking over at the pretty barmaid Hadyn grinned. "I don't know if you want to be takin' my word for anythin'. I drink too much, petch too much and don't know how to get out when I'm in over my head."

Despite the teasing tone Hadyn's words rang truthful. She'd accepted the person she was and was content in that first step. She didn't see anything wrong with the way she lived her life, indeed she enjoyed it. But there was no mistaking the judgement that befell folks like her so it was always prudent to admit one's faults before offering wisdom.

"You have to do what you feel comfortable with," she added, her tone a little more serious and helpful. "If dressin' up pretty and battin' your eyelashes makes you feel good - do it. That's the most significant thing I can tell you, Shiress. Whatever you do, be content doin' it. That speaks volumes. Some women prefer to play hard to get. Others swoon at the first glance. It doesn't matter as long as you own it. But," she hesitated with a smile. "It took me a while to figure that out. Fact, it was the incident with that porker I told you of that made me realize what mattered and what didn't. I don't change for anyone, Shiress. And neither should you. Though I admit, it's a pain in the arse at times. But it'll make you a happier woman."

The brunette took another sip, glancing to the side to check on Liam. Admittedly Hadyn Skellig had no business telling any one how to conduct their lives given the shambles hers had nearly been in. But she'd extracted a fair amount of introspective wisdom from her experiences and Shiress was at least five summers her junior. At the very least she was happy to give her friend a bit of advice here and there. Returning her brown gaze to the girl Hadyn rested her back against the divan with a wink to the auburn haired beauty.

"Y'might want to ask someone who's got their life a bit more under control and perhaps in a stable relationship though."

[Shiress]

The advice that her friend offered was appreciated, and it made sense, but the girl knew that Hadyns words was were just that - words. It was going to be up to her to implement them, but that was the problem; Learning when and how to implement them. Trial and error? Hurt and anger? Guessing it would come in time, Shiress shrugged and continued listening to the brunette, glancing up occasionally with an understanding smile or agreeing smirk.

Lifting the mug, the girl let the last of the tea drain into her mouth before placing the empty vessel on the floor and straightening. Tucking hair behind her ear she shot an awkward glance toward Hadyn "Hard to get?" she laughed, leaning her back against the divan "you have to have someone trying to get you before you can play hard to get. I feel, well, unapproachable" she shook her head "but then again, I guess that's a good thing too. I don't think I want to be approached right now."

Loath to admit it, Shiress felt inferior to most everyone she came in contact with, even Hadyn. She could always find something, anything, no matter how small, that betters that person far more than herself, and the more Hadyn spoke, the more Shiress realized that it was herself she needed to learn and critique, not everyone else.

"I think you have your life together more than you think, Haddie" she said, looking up with a nod of her head "and a stable relationship doesn't fancy me at all, not even an unsteady one. I just..I want..I just want to have fun and not kill anyone. with an arched brow, she gave a slight chuckle. The girl made light of the unfortunate events of her past, but they bothered her none the less for it. She wondered how the knights of Syliras dealt with necessary slaying's. Did they feel guilt coupled with pride? Victory along side defeat? She sure did.

"Well," she continued, sliding the palm of her hand down her thigh "that's enough about me. I'm here to visit, not boohoo about how petched up I am." she smiled "Speaking of visiting, if you ever have anywhere to go or just need a break, a full night of sleep, or want to go get drunk and petched, I would love to care for little Liam for you. Anytime." She glanced over her shoulder to where the baby still lay quiet "I can't seem to get enough of that little man"

[Hadyn Skellig]

Hadyn spent most of Shiress' dialogue picking at a loose thread exposed on the cushion, nodding and "mhm"ing when necessary. The grey string was too short for her to wrap around her finger and snap but just long enough to annoy her. The brunette did, however, pause in her efforts to catch the girl's chuckle regarding her wants. With a agreeing snort and smile she resumed her task as Shiress continued. After all that had transpired over the past several seasons Hadyn barely gave a thought to the night to which the barmaid referred. But, in retrospect, for Shiress it was far more glaring than it was to the weaponsmith.

A momentary pang of guilt had the brunette hesitating, glad her face was turned from her friend's so she couldn't see. Responsibility for that night weighed on Hadyn's shoulders, both the events then and thereafter dredging up remorse. She never knew what became of that frail Nuit girl - Isabel? It bothered Hadyn for days after but she'd swept it under the proverbial rug when her life took a turn for the unexpected. Now, sitting there with Shiress, the weaponsmith experienced another prick of reproach for not finding the Nuit and making sure she was well. But Shiress was blessedly on another subject. Liam.

Composing herself and replacing guilt with a sly grin Hadyn turned to face the barmaid.

"Drunk and petching? Shiress, I believe that is what got me in this predicament in the first place." The brunette smiled, abandoning the damnable loose thread to rest her elbow on the wooden arm of the divan again. "But it is a temptin' offer, I must admit -"

Her momentary comfort was disturbed when indignant squawks emanated from the crib. Casting Shiress a wry glance the brunette unfolded her legs, set the mug on the ground and stood, crossing the floor to see what had the subject of their conversation bothered. Leaning forward she lifted the baby up, settling him on her shoulders and returning to the divan. The boy was seemingly concerned the attention had not been directed at him, quieting significantly once he was returned to their company. Leaning against the faded back of the old furniture Hadyn smoothed a hand over her son's head, his soft gurgles signaling contentedness as he plopped his cheek on her shoulder to stare at Shiress with wide blue eyes. Also looking at the auburn haired barmaid over his dark thatch of hair the brunette tilted her head, expression curious.

"May I ask you somethin'?"

[Shiress]

"And it's a standing offer" Shiress said, nodding her head "Plus" she grinned "Always did hear a woman doesn't get pregnant as easy while they have a baby nursing, so that's a good thing, right?"

Baby Liam disapproved of that bit of information and wailed his thoughts on the matter. Shiress stirred, ready to see to him, but Hadyn beat her to the punch. She leaned back, watching as her friend retrieved her blue eyed masterpiece, a smile on her face at just the thought of the little thing.

As mom and baby settled back down on the divan, Shiress leaned forward, dipping her gaze to better see the little sleepy face looking at her, her hand reaching out to swipe a tear from his rosy, plump cheek.

Glancing up, Shiress arched a brow at Hadyn's request, her hand slowly retreating from Liam, her curiosity peaked "Yeaaah" she replied hesitantly, wondering what on earth she could want to know. It wasn't like the bartender kept many secrets from the weaponsmith "Of course, you can ask me anything" Leaning back, Shiress folded her hands in her lap, anticipating the forthcoming question.

[Hadyn Skellig]

Taking a moment to settle back against the cushion with her son the brunette considered how best to ask her question. When the girl affirmed it was alright for her to inquire Hadyn took her time getting comfortable before speaking. It'd been on her mind for quite a while, this particular topic, but she hadn't had an opportunity to talk to Shiress about it. Between the hectic mess of their lives what little time to simply chat was limited. With a smile to reassure her friend the weaponsmith crossed her legs.

"Nothin' bad," she reassured Shiress as Liam stared at the girl. "I was wondering, more like not sure. Last summer when that whole thing happened," no need for further clarification on the event she referred to, "I've been meanin' to ask you since then. There was something. Something he saw on you. Honestly, my memory doesn't serve me very well in this case and I was blinded. But... he wanted to see somethin'. And I never found out what all happened during that time. I reckon there are some pieces that were never filled in from then. He was after something on you, wasn't he? Are... are you marked?"

It was a deeply personal question Hadyn felt exceptionally awkward asking. But it'd plagued her since they'd returned to the city. What was the slave-master searching for? and why was he so disgustingly giddy when he located it? it seemed only logical that it was a token from a god or goddess. Shiress hadn't mentioned it in the aftermath of their return to the city and quite frankly all parties seemed more than happy to put the trauma behind them. But Hadyn hoped enough time had passed that she could respectfully inquire.

Shifting Liam in her arms as he squirmed the brunette flashed her friend an encouraging smile. A mark from a deity was a curiosity for Hadyn. And if Shiress was willing to share the woman wanted to know what it meant, having never been marked herself. Rearranging her son so he sat on her thigh she held the boy's waist and gently bounced him with her legs, attention kept entirely on her friend.

[Shiress]

"I had nearly forgot about that, Hadyn" she admitted, her emerald gaze dropping to her lap "The very reason for it all"

Shiress had forgotten that little detail of that nightmarish, Spring night in The Bronze Woods and the sickness that had plagued her master. The puss filled boils that covered his feverish, pale skin and how he had spread the foul discharge of one of those boils across her lips. Her stomach churned at the thought.

"I'm gonna get me some water" she said, swallowing the sick feeling as it crept up the back her throat. She stood, scooping the cup from the floor as she stepped away, her hand across her stomach. The God's could be praised that she hadn't contracted the vile sickness that night. Though, now, as she moved across the floor, she wondered how long it took for the nauseating symptoms to appear. Surely, less than 3 seasons. She hoped so anyway, and pushed the thought from her mind.

"He was sick. Jordan, I mean" she said, glancing over her shoulder "A pox maybe, but it was slowly killing him, I think." she lifted the pitcher and tipped it over her cup, filling it with cool water. "Traveled for near a season, Sunberth to Syliras." she shook her head with a disgusted chuckle and stepped away toward the window, the cup of water cradled in her hands.

Lifting the cup to her lips, Shiress leaned over and pulled a plant from the window seal, grinning, amused at the condition of the poor thing. The girl had purchased her friend the small fuchsia plant not long after her son was born. Knowing most her time would be spent healing at home and caring for Liam, Shiress wanted to give the new mother something to liven the place up a bit. Sadly, it had slipped her mind to mention to Hadyn that it would need a little water every now and then. The once vibrant and colorful plant had wilted and dried up, shedding its beauty, leaving only grey and brittle sticks and stems behind, its most pleasing feature being the clay pot in which it sat.

Shiress took a long pull from the cup, and turned on her heel to resume her place beside the weaponsmith, the mark awakening and tingling on her leg. As she moved across the floor of the apartment, her attention and gaze locked on the pitiful plant, and the sensation on her leg began to travel, up her body and along her arm.

She lowered herself down beside her friend, a wide smile spreading her lips as she presented the plant forward. What was once brittle and grey, was now dark green, it's new leaves were an even darker green, and long, lighter green stems were gently pulled over the rim, encircling the clay pot, with purple, tear drop shaped flowers, embedded within a deep, red sepal. The fuchsia plant was even more beautiful than the day she had gifted it.

"The beautiful Goddess, Bala, marked me when I was ten." she sat the plant on the floor and hiked up the hem of her skirt, holding her leg out for Hadyn to see the glistening, deep silver root etched into the skin just above her right ankle."The only mark on my skin that means something good and positive. Letting her skirt fall back into place, Shiress sat up, curling her fingers around the cup in her lap "Jordan discovered the mark early on" she shrugged "or maybe that's why he took me, I don't know. He used my gift to his benefit, purchasing rare, expensive plants and herbs that were dead and wilted, for near nothing. I would use my mark to restore the herbs or plants, and he would, in turn, sell them, making thrice the profit, even more profit sometimes, depending on the rarity."

She paused, sipping her water, and sighed "When Jordan became sick, I think he realized he was dying, and someone, somewhere, told him the only cure was a plant, or flower, root, or something, and it was dormant, dead, blooming only in Winter." she shook her head "guess he thought he wouldn't live to see Winter, and he knew a girl with the gnosis of cultivation." she smirked, shaking her head again "suppose there's no healer in Sunberth" Lifting the cup, she pressed the rim against her lips and hiked a brow, a mischievous grin curling the corners of her mouth "In the end, reckon I cured what ailed him, huh?"

OOCJust so ya know, a fuchsia is my most favoritest plant

[Hadyn Skellig]

Hadyn remained silent as Shiress rose and spoke. Though the girl's voice remained steady the brunette was sure of the pain lurking beneath the surface. One does not easily forget such scars or memories. Healing from them is even harder. Pausing in the gentle movement of her leg the woman glanced down at Liam who seemed perfectly content staring at his toes. He looked up at her with a toothless grin before resuming a staring match with his feet. Returning her gaze to Shiress the brunette found her on the other side of the apartment inspecting the pathetic excuse for a plant.

Shyke.

A slow blush crept up Hadyn's neck as the gift her friend so kindly offered was observed in all its untended glory. Now that she had windows the weaponsmith liked the idea of having a potted plant or two, especially the lovely fuchsia Shiress presented to her. And yet somehow the flower had been forgotten. But the girl lifted the pot with its crippled husk of a plant and returned to her seat. Hadyn figured she would make some analogy to flowers and blooming but when Shiress extended the clay pot brown eyes widened at the sight.

"I'll be damned," she murmured, reaching a hand forward to slide a finger along a dark lush leaf. It appeared even more full of life. Hadyn's attention was so captivated by the flower she was slow to realize Shiress had set it down and was showing her something else. It was Liam's giddy chirps that moved her from her enchantment. Following her gaze down Shiress' body to the exposed ankle the woman's eyebrows rose. So this was her mark. The hem dropped once more, covering the silvery insignia from prying eyes as the girl explained Jordan's ravenous intent on having her back. Now it made sense.

"Unfortunate for him it came with a price," Hadyn remarked dryly, her gaze lingering on the flower. After a tick she looked up, tilting her head to the side. "Shiress, you are aware that possessing a mark like this could be the thing you need to get out of the Stallion. I'm fairly confident when I say you don't want to be workin' there the rest of your life." She paused to pull her son a little closer up her thigh as he'd managed to wiggle away. "Y'have a knack for wanting to help people. Why don't you use this blessin' to your advantage."