[Issues found by Astator] Thoroar

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Thoroar

Postby Thoroar Carter on April 28th, 2014, 11:41 am

Character Name


Appearance

Race: Human
Gender: Male
Age: 20
Birthday: Season of Winter, Day 2, 493.
Birthplace: Zeltiva

Appearance: Thoroar is a medium build and is about 6ft, His eyes are blue and hair is shaggy and brown in color like his goatee. His neck is quite muscular and it connects perfectly with his broad shoulders; looking along his shoulders to his arm they are not strong but they are toned to a degree and you can see a wolf head tattoo; working back to his body his chest isn't that large and moving down towards his feet his Legs are toned but not muscular.

Character Concept
Thoroar as a child discovered that he was able to imbune things with minor power as he grew older he thought to him self that he could combine this with blacksmithing to make weapons more powerful.

Character History
Thoroar grew up in Zeltiva, At age 7 he started to notice his ability to make things slightly stronger when he drew on them and developed other skills such as making basic healing pastes from herbs as he aged he looked at blacksmithing to meld his ability to strengthen things and metal work into one.

As a young teenager he went to the local blacksmith to become an apprentice that day lady luck would have it the smith was looking for someone to teach his craft to but this was merely a façade the old smith wanted a striker as he was ageing and would tire easily, under the supervision of the smith he learnt the basics of the craft over many years.

As time went on he told the smith of his other talents, at this the smiths fading eyes lit up as he told the now man to go study at the university to hone his magical craft and before he left he also reminded him to further his blacksmithing at the same time.

So he set out to the university with only a handful of things.

Language

Fluent Language: Common.
Basic Language: Nader-canoch.
Poor Language: High Arumenic.

Skills

Skill EXP Total Proficiency
Glyphing 10 SP 10 Novice
Blacksmithing 10 SP 10 Novice
Herbalism 5 SP 5 Novice
Drawing 5 SP 5 Novice
Calligraphy 5 SP 5 Novice
Alchemy 15 RB, 15 SP 30 Competent


Lores
Lore of Zeltiva Streetplan
Lore of History of the University

Possessions

1 Set of Clothing
-Simple Shirt
-Simple Pants
-Simple Undergarments
-Simple Cloak
-Simple Boots
1 Waterskin
1 Backpack which contains:
-Comb (Wood)
-Brush (Wood)
-Soap
-Razor
-Balanced Rations (1 Week's worth)
-1 eating knife
-Flint & Steel
100 Gold Mizas

Heirloom: Small Jeweled Pendant Which has a Wolf Insignia Etched into it

Housing

Location: Currently Residing within the University

House: Living at the University Dorms

Ledger

Purchase Cost Total
Starting +100 GM 100 GM
Lodging +500 GM 600 GM
University -60 GM 540 GM



Thread List
[The Asylum] The Smith
http://www.mizahar.com/forums/topic48542.html
Last edited by Thoroar Carter on May 20th, 2016, 12:16 am, edited 9 times in total.
User avatar
Thoroar Carter
Novice Wizard
 
Posts: 7
Words: 2247
Joined roleplay: April 27th, 2014, 10:11 pm
Race: Human
Character sheet

Thoroar

Postby Astator on May 21st, 2016, 9:27 pm

Image

Welcome back to Mizahar! A few issues have arisen during the reviewing of your character sheet that must be addressed. As this is an intervention you must cease all In Character posting until the intervention has been lifted. So let’s get started!

  • Your age is not correct, as it is now the time stamp of Spring 516. Please fix this.
  • As the university has not have a djed college since Fall of 514, how are you still learning magic there? Please fix this. Your history needs to be updated heavily.
  • As such you cannot be a student of the djed college anymore how are you still residing in the dorms?
  • How did you learn High Arumenic and Nadar Canoch? Without extensive detail of how you learned those I cannot accept them as languages you know. Please fix.
  • How did you learn Alchemy and Glyphing?
  • What date is your one existing thread?
  • Lodging and University costs of when?
Might I suggest a full rewrite of this character as you are still well within the 50 posts needed to do so?
Once you have completed what I have asked, please private message me via the little envelope to the left underneath my name and letting me know.

Thank you,
Astator
Which way do you want to go? Up or Down?

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Astator
Helping Hands.
 
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