Closed Snippits of Insight (Drusilla)

[Khara]

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Bitta? The unfamiliar word she could only guess was another Symenestra term caught her by surprise but not nearly as much as the sudden physical contact. It was brief, it wasn't bad, but it still left her decidedly uncomfortable and only managing a small stammer of, "Th-that' would be great."

The bits of fabric Drusilla had pulled for her already were quickly scooped up and for a moment Khara actually had to marvel at how many there were. And still the seamstress would see if she could find more? It was enough to turn the awkward smile genuine, until she thought of how much it was going to cost her. Still, if it was going to help her do her job it would be worth it.

The scout looked up as Drusilla parted, a quickened few steps brought the Chiet to her side as the seamstress began speaking of her people. It sounded so strange to hear the first description coincide with all the nightmarish tales; monsters, she called them and Khara couldn't help but feel an involuntary small shudder run through her. Of course, it came before Drusilla began speaking of how her race was born into this world. The shock wasn't even attempted at being hidden as Khara's eyes grew wide at the tale. The color drained from her already pale skin as the warnings she had only briefly wondered at suddenly had full purpose; no wonder they didn't want the female scouts out when there was a rumor of the spiders being in the area.

The rest of the story was just as frightening but one comment of Drusilla's in particular caught her and once Khara had let her finish speaking, the Inarta girl forced the thought to leave her. "I'm not afraid of you, Dru."

It felt a meager statement to offer in return and Khara looked down at the fabric she had clutched to her chest. "I mean, I was a little, but not anymore."

Something else that the seamstress had mentioned felt like it was eating at her. A mother died so that heir child could live? The concept was horrifying and yet something about it was painfully familiar. Curiosity got the best of her as they returned to the much emptier Gallery.

"If," Khara began and immediately paused, the hesitation clear in her voice from the very first word. "If it's not too forward of me, and really please tell me to petch off if it is, but do you ever feel... Guilty? About your mother?"

Her inner self practically howled at her for asking, drawing a visible cringe from the girl. It had been too big of a question, too personal, and she had stupidly asked anyway. Khara couldn't bring herself to look up, suddenly terrified not of the Symenestra herself, but at the possibility she had somehow offended or hurt her with the blunder.
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"Nari" | "Common"

[Drusilla]

Drusilla turned slightly and looked at Khara from the corner of her eye, "...Every tick of everyday for the past 23 years..." She continued to walk to where the scraps were kept. She knelt down to reach the lowest drawer. "Last year, with Turrin was the first time I celebrated my birthday. Up until then, it was just a painful reminder that I was monster. I deserved no celebration, I deserved no love, I deserved no compassion." From her thick hair she produced a dark wooden comb inlaid with green and purple stones. "This is all I have of my mother... I don't even know if the stones are real... But it's all I have. I would of stayed moping in my own little abyss if not for meeting some very important people, Turrin, Zhol, Azira, and now you. People who trust me beyond my race. People I view as family." Drusilla smiled. With her smile came a funny idea in her mind, "Hey Chickadee, feel my hand. It's fuzzy, kinda like velvet. It's what let's us climb walls and such. Sorry I just like to see people's reactions to my unique skin and the little hook hairs that make us feel so... fuzzy." Now with a lapful of scraps Drusilla attempted to figure out how much the girl would pay, "Let's see maybe half a yard? It certainly isn't a full yard... So a half yard of linen... Drusilla hummed as she attempted to figure out the cost. "2.5 sm, I believe.... Not too bad of a price. So have you decided what color will mean what?"

[Khara]

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Every bit of dread and self loathing for asking the question shifted into sympathy as Drusilla spoke of her mother and the comb. So, Khara wasn't alone. Birthdays, like almost every other even notable moment that could be used, were a cause for celebration in Wind Reach. Except when it came to Khara, it seemed. She somehow always had known there had to be other people who found it more a day of uncomfortable reminders than joy, but actually meeting one of those people was something the Chiet had never expected. It seemed silly to use the day to mourn someone you never really met, but it was something Khara had found unavoidable from the moment she had learned of what she had done. Dru and her situation wasn't an exact match though, the pain different, yet no less. Where the Symenestra had stopped a life, Khara had prevented one from occurring at all; snuffed it out before it even had a chance to begin. It wasn't just the guilt at having been the cause, it was the constant wonder of if it should have been the other way around. Constant failures made her wonder if fate had made an error, an accidental overlook; it was the only explanation for why the smaller, frailer looking of the two children her mother had carried came into the world alive where the other did not. Only the strong were supposed to survive, after all.

A small smile tugged at her, bittersweet in the realization of some sort of similarity between them. Family, she knew that word and all the little variances it could mean now. There was kin, the kind of family you had no choice in, who for all Khara knew could have included half of Wind Reach. But there was the other kind, the closer bonds, the people you chose to have in your life. There was only one individual that Khara considered to have been part of that. As she thought on it, she looked back down at one of the red pieces in her hands and suddenly wished she had chosen to wear her scarf that day.

It was Drusilla that pulled the girl's thoughts away from the swinging between unhappiness and mild contentment. And although the request was strange, it certainly came as a welcome distraction. Khara bundled the scraps into one of her hands as the other reached out to timidly meet the seamstress'. A befuddled "Huh," escaped. The feel of the Symenestra's hand wasn't unpleasant, but it certainly was unusual. More than confusion it sparked a sudden envy for the grip it must have granted Drusilla when climbing. Khara had to rely on specialized chalk to keep her hands from slipping and that wasn't always something she carried or had. It certainly ruled out any more adventurous climbing, but the seamstress wouldn't have such issues, though Khara wasn't certain if Dru shared the Inarta's love of trying to see things from as high as possible.

"Have you ever been to the Edge of the World? You should go. The view is really pretty when you get to the top. I've only ever used the inner face and it was still really difficult but I bet you wouldn't have any problem at all!" The hint of excitement in her voice, the light that had suddenly appeared in her eyes, all dropped away as she realized how everything was coming out. Asking the seamstress for help, asking far too personal of questions, and then telling her what she should do, it didn't feel wrong, but Khara couldn't help but chastise herself for it anyway.

The Chiet nervously nibbled at her lower lip as she watched the seamstress tally up the cost of this little venture, expecting a small fortune to be requested. The actual price was shocking, but far from how she had expected it to be. "That's it??" Khara blurted out before quickly clamping her mouth shut and regaining control over herself. "I... I just expected it to be so much more. I never really have bought any clothing aside from what the seasonal allotment allows and that's always just basic stuff."

The explanation sounded hollow and she quickly forced herself towards answering Dru's question. "I haven't really started thinking about it. I guess it depends on what I have the most of to use for basic markers." Khara eyed the numerous blue strips, thinking they would probably be suitable.

"I thought about using the purple to maybe show somewhere that might be dangerous, like when I came across some zynx traps since it's the only one," Khara paused and glanced back up at the Symenestra. "But I think it's going to remind me of you too much and you're not a danger to me so maybe I can use it to mark somewhere that's a good place to rest and have lunch or something."

Her eyes fell away, back to the strips, back to focusing on the red ones. "These are like that too. They make me think about feeling like I'm safe," she mumbled. The confession made her think once more about her new family. The thought was tugged on too much, dragging her back to where she had been only moments ago when Dru had spoken about her mother, making Khara think about why she had asked the far too forward question in the first place.

"Zhol called me 'little sister' one of the last times we were able to spend a day together," Khara quietly began, uncertain as to if she should have been speaking at all. "I wish he hadn't. N-not that I, I don't want to be part of his family, it's just..."

A nervous fidget, fingertips tugging at the edge of one of the red pieces of fabric and she forced herself to let go of the thoughts that were trying to force themselves out anyway. "My sister. That's why I asked about your mother. I was supposed to have a twin sister. We would have watched out for each other, you know? But she died when we were born, maybe just before that."

Khara let a small shrug of her shoulders pass. "I know it's my fault, and now I have someone calling me 'sister' and he promised to protect me but I think he's just going to get hurt. Or worse. That'll be my fault too, I think."

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"Nari" | "Common"

[Drusilla]

Drusilla laughed at Khara's confused look, "I don't believe I have. Perchance... Would you like to go climbing sometime? I'll understand if you're busy... But if you ever want to go climbing let me know." She smiled, not even making a effort to hide the pointed teeth that she used to eat meat. "I'm told I work too much, but it always helped push away certain thoughts and memories. Although, with a new web, it's what Symenestra call their families I find these thoughts coming to bother me less and less." It was true. Having even a few people in her corner, people caring for her. She was loved in a sense of the word. She mattered. How could she be so concerned for herself and her past when she had a new web to tend to and protect. This web was better than her previous one given to her by blood. What was the saying, 'the blood of the covenant is thicker than the water of the womb'. Yes, that was the one and Drusilla found it true. Drusilla redid the math and turned to Khara, "Yeah 2.5 SM. It's the right price. If you ever need any tailoring done, let me know. I'd be more than happy to work on your clothes." She tried to take care of her web's clothing if possible. It wasn't that she thought herself better, more a need to help her web. To provide for them and sewing was about all she was good at. "You came near a Zynx! Please be careful, Khara!" A motherly tone came from Drusilla. A habit she hadn't gotten under control. The need to mother and watch out for everyone else. "I understand you're a tracker. But don't do anything too daring or stupid, okay?" Drusilla gave a worried look and ruffled the girl's hair much like she did to Zhol. "Your sister gave you the greatest gift she could. Life, Khara. She gave you her life, in return you must live your life for both of you. Don't waste what your sister gave you. She may have known something would happen to her or knew something was wrong with her. Even now I bet she stays close to you. What would she want you to do with your life? Families help one another it doesn't just fall on one person." She put an arm around the girl, "Khara, when is your birthday? So we all can celebrate that YOU are here. I'll tell you mine... Fall 31st."

[Khara]

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The comfort that Drusilla offered was the last thing that Khara had expected to come from her confession. Not that she did not think that the seamstress was capable of it, merely that the Inarta girl couldn't begin to comprehend that she was worth such a thing. It left her speechless for a tick, hands rubbing together nervously as the Symenestra wrapped her arm around her again. That was two people that had shown her such kindness in recent times . The first was... Khara struggled for the word in her mind that he had taught her. Blood? Family? One of those two. She wondered if it was the same sort of feeling when Dru spoke of her web.

"My birthday?" Khara had to pause, an uncomfortable knot forming in her stomach.

It was the sort of question most people could answer immediately, no thought, pure instinct and memory bringing recall faster than it usually took someone to ask. She looked down at her hands as if their idle and meaningless gestures could bring the answer to her faster than thought. So long had been spent attempting to forget it existed that she genuinely couldn't force it to come to her. It was in Winter, that was for certain, some time in the first third, somewhere near the end of it. Not on a Market Day, nor the day after, but the day after that. Yes, that was it!

"The twenty second day of Winter," Khara finally said, the words still hesitant as if she wasn't entirely certain. Focusing on it was uncomfortable, but thankfully Dru had given her a chance to quickly divert the subject.

"But yours is so close! You should do something nice. I would say that we could go climbing if you wanted, to experience something new, but I'll probably have work that day." Khara wasn't entirely certain of the fact, but given her new agreement with Azira, even days off could suddenly change. She wasn't even entirely certain that she wanted to be part of any sort of Birthday events, but Dru seemed nice enough and it was somewhat upsetting to think of such a kind person spending the day alone. Maybe Zhol would have an idea...

As Khara thought the matter over she tugged her somewhat tattered backpack from her shoulder and began to dig through its meager contents until she found what she wanted: a small handful of glass pinions. She had been taught of how the currency was equivalent to other places, how one single pinion was worth a single gold Miza. Khara had never seen a gold Miza, or a silver, or a copper for that matter; but the girl knew how they broke down. The pinions were sifted through her fingers until a lone remained, it's value still far more than what Drusilla had asked for the fabric.

The scout held out the single small glass object towards the seamstress. "I don't have anything smaller. Maybe, if you weren't opposed to it, you could keep an eye out for other scraps that you come across as you work? I'll take anything in any color until we're all even." A nervousness came over her again, tension threatening to creep back into her shoulders. "Or-or you can just take this for what's here. I've kind of taken you away from being able to actually work today, after all."
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"Nari" | "Common" | "Pavi"

[Drusilla]

"Born in winter... Does that make you more resistant to the cold? Sorry that wondering just sort of slipped out. Given the bad winters we've had here in the past years, I'd say the fact that you're alive shows your strength. I don't know of many babies surviving a winter birth here." It was a sad truth that Inarta babies didn't make it if they were winter born. "It would be nice to get my little group together for a day. But, work must be done. I would love to go climbing with you sometime. Maybe give you advice on your climbing." The Symenestra smiled silently look over the bag Khara had produced. When she was handed a Pinion. She picked up the glass feather delicately between her claws admiring it. "A Pinion... So pretty and used only in Wind Reach... Can't say I carry them. My pay is in Mizas." She placed the Pinion back in Khara's palm. "We'll just keep a tab. Once it hits a Pinion I'll let you know." Drusilla made a sour face of concern at the bag that Khara held. "Chickadee...Erm...your bag. May I see it please? It's splitting at the seams in areas! It desperately needs to be fixed."

[Khara]

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The question about being born in Winter struck her as odd, not something Khara really had ever considered before. Was she more resistant to cold? She didn't think so, but it didn't seem to bother her much either most days. Not that she would run around outside in Winter without her katinu and she knew that once she actually felt cold it usually took a trip to the baths to properly warm her back up, but she also knew she didn't find the need to pull on gloves and heavier boots unless it was really cold. She always thought that was normal, though. Maybe she would start watching other Inarta as the days grew colder, see if they started to wear thicker clothing before she did. Not that the information would do her much good but maybe it made her different in a good way and that wasn't something Khara was opposed to finding out.

Khara couldn't help but feel a tug of a frown forming, but she wasn't sure if it was because of the thought that Dru might spend her birthday alone, the fact she didn't want payment for the fabric up front, or the fact that the Chiet girl had just been made aware of how poorly she actually took care of the items she relied on sometimes. Maybe it was all three. It certainly wasn't the fact that Dru seemed more than happy to go climbing, that was actually something Khara actually found rather exciting. The only problem there was that she needed to pick a day and then get up the courage to ask.

The birthday thing just seemed wrong to her somehow. She knew that other Inarta weren't the best at accepting outsiders, especially if they had any sort of odd rumors attached to them, but Dru was the exact opposite of everything she had ever heard about the Symenestra. The seamstress was more than just kind, she seemed compassionate on a level that would rival just about anyone else Khara had ever met. No one like that should have to spend a day that should be happy on their own, work or no work. There had to be something they could do.

"Maybe in the evening," Khara began as her hand closed reluctantly back around the pinion and she slipped her bag off her shoulder once more and guilty eyed the more worn patches and seams. "We can meet up somewhere after dinner or something? I can try and see about getting some sweets from the kitchen and you could invite whoever you wanted. We could-"

She paused as she realized how childish it sounded. Like some sort of Yasi gathering rather than anything a group of adults would be interested in. The battered backpack was slowly handed over to the seamstress as Khara continued to think on it. How did adults celebrate birthdays? She certainly hadn't done anything of the sort since leaving Yasihood. The girl didn't even know when anyone's birthday was aside from her own and now Drusilla's, not even Zhol's who was supposed to be her best friend. No wonder she had no idea what to do. The Inclement Weather, maybe? Though the rumors Khara had heard of about what could and sometimes did happen there made it seem like the last place in all of Wind Reach that she would ever want to go to, second only to the Lost Sense.

Why is this so important to you anyway? The question came to her, strangely sounding a lot like the way Azira had sounded when she had told the Chiet that she needed to be quiet. It didn't feel like the usual internal reprimand, though. Maybe that was because the fact she didn't have an answer was actually the worst part rather than the inquiry itself. She had only just met Drusilla, didn't know a whole lot about her to be honest. Sure, the Symenestra woman had been nice to her and had actually shared a great deal about herself in such a short time, but why did the Inarta girl care so much?

She reminds you of Zhol. The thought made her eyes widen for an instant. No, that wasn't quite right. It was more… She's his friend too. Yes. That had to be it. Anyone who meant something to the human boy, especially if they were a member of his “family” in Wind Reach, was someone that Khara couldn't help but instantly care about. Not in some sort of mutual-friends sense, more… Well, she wasn't sure quite how to put it.They just mattered. Well, Dru does, Khara admitted as she realized the Symenestra was the only person she had heard Zhol talk about that way.

The Chiet couldn't help but fidget with her hands as the thoughts ran through her head, mutely watching what repairs Drusilla would be doing to her backpack. Only a tick or two had passed as the ideas had ran amok in her head, but the realization she had stopped talking in the middle of a sentence caught up with her. The fact she didn't have any clue how to help the seamstress celebrate her birthday was still a problem, though.

"Is there something you'd want to do?" Khara asked, the nervous ticks still firmly in place as she entwined and tugged on her fingers.
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"Nari" | "Common"

[Drusilla]

Drusilla took out her sewing box and picked out a needle and thread humming as she did so the humming in time became slight singing before returning to a hum. She carefully emptied Khara's bag. Turning the bag inside out she began to fix the seams and fraying areas. Each rip and tear to be carefully mended. To most it was just a bag, but Drusilla gave every item as much care as she could. This bag had no doubt seen better days, but now she knew the girl's birthday and if necessary she could get her a new one. She happily mended the bag while listening to Khara. The girl made her smile. "Sadly I can't eat many sweets Symenestra have different kinds of stomachs than humans. We can't digest many things. Like cake, what is cake like? I've never had it because I can't stomach it. Maybe, you'd like to come to the Aeries? Turrin won't mind, we have a private bath, fruit, wine, and from Aponivi's landing a view of the sky, along with a lovely fireplace. I did most of the decorating so it's got a Kalinor feel to it. Lots of rugs and hanging cloth." "But, yes. We'll have to be climbing buddies. Would you mind if I showed off a bit? Seeing as everyone has left, I can show you a Symenestra's climbing skills."

[Khara]

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Khara fidgeted as she watched the bag's meager contents emptied out. It wasn't the bag she used for work, that had already been replaced when she had purchased the equipment that Azira had demanded of her, but the old one wasn't one she was willing to let go of either. As a Chiet she didn't own a whole lot of things and that made everything she did all the more precious. Seeing Dru treat the bag with such care only endeared the spiderette to the girl all the more.

Seeing the seamstress smile appeased at least some of the nerves that Khara had, though they threatened to creep back in like a bunch of tangling vines as the Symenestra corrected her about what she couldn't eat. No sweets at all? It wasn't like Khara really got to have them anymore, but they'd been a regular item of the meals when she had been a Yasi. To never have had cake of all things...

Khara had been trying to figure out how best to describe such a thing when Dru continued, extending the invitation to Turrin's Aerie. The Chiet baulked at the idea. She had never even been to the Aeries before, to go there on a social visit? To see a friend? That seemed like an impossibility that her mind refused to grasp. Sure Dru was okay with the idea, but what of Turrin? He was kind enough to the girl the one time they had met but if that same sentiment would continue when she was in his home was another thing. And then there was.. Aponivi? That must be the Wind Eagle that chose Turrin. Surely her presence wouldn't be tolerated by one of the Eagles, not unless she was serving them in some way?

What is wrong with you? The accusation came from within. Someone offers you something nice and you can't even accept it? Not just a little? It was a bit of a problem with the girl, always disbelieving or questioning motivations when something more positive showed up. It would make sense if there were experiences to back up that view of the world, but Khara was having trouble even thinking of one instance where someone had only pretended to be nice but turned out to be anything but. That sort of manipulation took effort, something most never even spared on a Chiet. So where did this fear come from?

Before she could continue to muse on the matter, Dru was asking if she would mind being shown the woman's climbing skills. Climbing buddies? The simple phrasing chased off the lingering darkened thoughts and left the Inarta girl with a small smile.

"I don't mind at all," Khara said with a small shake of her head as she tried to keep the bit of excitement that she felt out of her voice. It was only marginally successful. "I've only ever seen people climbing at the Edge. How would you climb in..."

Her voice trailed off as she looked around the alcove. She didn't see any obvious handholds or places to gain your footing anywhere along the walls, and everything curved up towards the ceiling. Could Dru climb on the ceiling?? That would certainly be something to see.
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"Nari" | "Common" | "Pavi"

[Drusilla]

The bag was given a few tugs where it had been mended to make sure it would hold. Once satisfied with the repairs Drusilla carefully put the emptied items back in the bag and slipped in a couple of honey candies. She smiled as she closed the bag and returned it to its owner. "Here, almost good as new." "I can eat those copper miza candies. Those small honey candies and fruit. I don't eat like a regular Symenestra. It grosses people out, grosses me out... I in a way am starving myself by just living on fruit. But I need to eat meat in a most disgusting way. I catch a rabbit bite it and wait for the poison to bloat it and liquefy the insides, then I ingest the liquefied innards. I should eat like that twice a day, I'm lucky if I get a marmot or rabbit once every two weeks. Sorry, you didn't need to know all that." She said with embarrassment. Good going Dru just scared another one. After that she'll have nothing to do with you. "I'll understand if you don't ever want to speak to me again after what I just said. But if you some how still want to be around me, my offer to visit the Aeries still stands , as does the climbing. I'm normally alone if Turrin is out. Even though we're courting I try to give him his space when he's home. I like to talk to Aponivi. I'm sure he'd love to talk with you too." Drusilla smiled and removed her dress, revealing her Symenestra wrappings. "Sorry if I surprised you but it's hard to climb in that dress. Chickadee, remenber those little hairs on my hands? They work like suction cups so hand holds and foot holds mean very little to me." She approached the wall and kicked off her shoes. Looking to Khara she gave a smile and a nod. Placing a hand and foot on the smooth wall Drusilla hoisted herself up. Then the other hand and foot. Now off the ground she looked at Khara with a grin and turned back to the wall. It took no time at all for her to scale the wall all the way up to the ceiling. She gave Khara a look that read, dare me? Before the girl could answer Drusilla had made her way to the center of the ceiling. She hadn't shown off like this in forever. It was fun to see the look on the face of the person she had chosen to see her skill. Perhaps she could learn Arial Dancing... But would it go over well with the Inarta? She made her decent back to Khara.