First Contact (Part 3)

by **Zhol** on April 28th, 2015, 5:00 am

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..Late Evening - 23rd Spring, 515

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Preceded by: Undiscovered Country (Part 1) & Into Darkness (Part 2)

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Zhol let out a long, slow breath, taking far more time to fold his shirt than was necessary. He was stalling, dragging out this process for as long as he could; but he was conflicted about it. His eyes strayed to the left, a few feet of stone blocking his view of who was waiting for him: Khara. He felt something pull in his chest, the tether that kept him connected to his heart, held constantly in Khara's possession. More than anything he wanted to eagerly follow it back to her, to take her in his arms, to kiss her with the waves of passion brimming up inside him every time she crossed his mind. Yet he didn't; he lingered instead. His hesitance came from elsewhere: irresistibly enticing as the destination was, the journey was terrifying.

Another breath, and Zhol surrendered to the inevitable, tucking his thumb into the waistband of his slacks and slipping them down his legs, stepping out of them one foot at a time, balancing precariously on the stone floor. No matter how many times he had done this - it had been almost two years since he had arrived in Wind Reach - he had never grown accustomed to it; never grown comfortable with stripping off every last item of clothing and walking out into a cave filled with other people every single time he wanted and needed to get clean.

It wasn't prudishness; or at least, he didn't think so. He wasn't intimidated or repulsed by the sight of the other bathers, though he did avert his eyes out of respect for the modesty that the Inarta apparently didn't have, and felt embarrassed if his eyes strayed and glimpsed anything that he shouldn't have. Being seen himself had at least something to do with it: he wasn't ashamed of his body, but it was uncomfortable being looked at; and even when he snuck to the baths as early or late in the day as he could manage, to avoid as many people as possible, there were still the attendants there, paying attention to whatever his needs might be. They were Inarta attendants though, born and raised in this culture; aside from the occasional idle glance of curiosity to see whether a man from Endrykas differed from a man from Wind Reach in any respects other than height, they treated him just like any other, their dispassionate eyes devoid of any judgement or untoward intent.

No, it wasn't that which was the root of his discomfort. It was something else, that he just couldn't identity.

Coming here with Khara made things harder and easier at the same time. He was glad of the company, and Khara was always so gentle and understanding of his awkwardness; he always delayed as he did now, and she always progressed a few pools ahead, waiting for him at a respectful distance, in water deep enough to hide anything from his accidental gaze. Lately things had changed though; their last few visits, Zhol hadn't delayed quite so long, allowing him brief glimpses here of what Khara had already invited him to see - and touch; and other things - in private. But their expedition into the Unforgiving, the one that they had only just returned from? That had changed things, and once again he dragged out his delay for as much as he could. He had seen it all now, and while Khara was entirely comfortable with that, Zhol was in two minds. Yes, the baths now held nothing that he had not seen; but given the circumstances, given how rainstorms and damp clothes and shared body heat had taken the place of an invitation on Khara's own comfortable terms, Zhol couldn't help the sense guilt that plagued him. That was what kept him here, away from her, finding any and every excuse to delay longer still.

Another breath escaped him. His pants bundled and stowed, no more excuses remained; no more actions that he could knowingly do more slowly in an attempt to justify his tardiness to the guilty side of his mind. He ran his hands across his face, trying to wipe away the frustration. His palms scratched against stubble, and he realised that he hadn't shaved in at least four days. Petch. Naked, unshaven, guilty, and embarrassed; hardly a recipe for confidence and ease.

He couldn't keep Khara waiting any longer, though. With a very faint tremble in his hands, and a timid posture that seemed completely foreign on his usually relaxed frame, Zhol padded across the damp stone of the changing rooms, and emerged into the baths themselves.

by **Khara** on April 29th, 2015, 12:12 am

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Khara felt unbelievably nervous. Not that the emotion was anything new to her, it was an almost ever constant sensation that continually dictated every action both deliberate and accidental. This was different, though. Usually the anxiety came from fear or worry, now though it seemed to stem more from excitement and anticipation. Maybe a bit of worry too. Maybe a lot of worry. Not over the fact that anyone might disturb her as she had chosen to linger just off to the side of the archway that separated the changing area from the baths proper, though. The hour was late, well after most reasonable people visited the Tisuma Baths, as Zhol had apparently discovered. No, her concerns were only regarding the only other individual aside from the attendants that she knew was there.

Typically she would have slowly made her way through the pools, ending at one of the lower ones and would patiently wait for Zhol to join her. It left a lot of time to adjust how she'd sit at the shallow edge so that he wouldn't accidentally become flustered by catching a glimpse of anything. It also left a lot of time staring at her hands or the ceiling or anything but the man she adored. Not that she didn't do that either, it just had to be timed right so that Zhol wouldn't notice - both her glances and the aftermath of guilt she'd feel for looking in the first place.

That had been before though and now they had both seen everything in a far more comfortable setting and while both had averted their gazes it hadn't stopped them from feeling each other as they had waited for their clothing to dry overnight and had slept much the same as they would on any normal night. It had been a hesitant thing at first, but once they both realized the other was okay with what was happening they had fallen into a comfortable sleep in each others arms. Well, as comfortable as one might get on the floor of a cave in a rain soaked Spring evening. The whole thing had been pleasant, another small step taken towards being completely at ease and it wasn't a memory that Khara would want taken away for anything. But it had set a precedent, and not a reluctant one to face at that.

Not moving to the baths, waiting for him outside of them, knowing very well there was nothing but posture and her own limbs to obscure anything from his view; it felt exhilarating to know that she didn't want to hide from him, that she wanted Zhol to see her. Only problem was she wasn't sure if he wanted to look, or if he wanted her looking at him. At first she had thought that surely it wouldn't be an issue, but then the delay had come and the chimes spent waiting for Zhol to enter the bathing chamber became longer than any had ever possibly been before. Was this a bad idea? Should she just hurry to the bathing pools and ditch the entire idea? Maybe she shouldn't try and force something new to keep happening. What would Zhol think? What would he say? What would she do if he bashfully averted his gaze again and was overly flustered at her very presence? What if-

The sound of feet against stone floor brought her head up from where she had been watching her fingertips tap against the palm of her hand in rapid succession. A small smile was offered and she hoped desperately that she wouldn't be met with some sort of look of uncomfortable surprise.

"Nari" | "Common" | "Pavi"

by **Zhol** on April 29th, 2015, 12:51 am

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He was aware of Khara's presence the instant he stepped through the arch, and for a blissful moment the usual upsurge of adoration and joy that appeared every time he saw her filled the entirety of him. Then realisation hit him like a wave: not in the deep pools, not even in the shallow ones; Khara was here, waiting patiently for him to emerge, waiting in full view of... of...

His thoughts stumbled. His gaze swept across her, and everything ground to a halt. He had seen her before, more or less; accidental glances in these very baths that had lingered longer than they should have; obscured peeks through the bath waters that he hoped Khara hadn't seen; glimpses beneath blankets in the caves yesterday; of late there were parts of her with which he had become intimately acquainted, but there were others that he had steadfastly fought to avert his gaze from. Until now he had succeeded, but suddenly here she was, no water, or clothing, or blankets, or modesty to obscure the view. This was his Khara, in all her perfect beauty; Zhol found himself so utterly captivated by the sight of her that he completely forgot not to stare.

Several things stirred for him; some emotional, others not. He felt the desire to grin. He felt the desire to wrap her in his arms, to feel her skin against his, to feel as close to her as it was possible to feel. He felt a desire to leap towards her, to let his hands roam across those delicate curves, to let his lips follow eagerly in their wake. He felt other urges too, and the clamouring to indulge them was louder than he had ever been. His mind wandered down the path of those thoughts a little too far, and other things stirred; the instant Zhol realised, blood rushed to his cheeks, and panic swept across his face.

"I- I- I -" he stammered, struggling to find words at all amid his embarrassment, and eagerness, and other emotions he didn't even know the name of. "You look -" He breathed out a nervous breath; it was supposed to be a laugh, but Zhol's lungs robbed it of all but empty air. He swallowed, paused, mustered all the willpower he could to force his gaze to climb from her body to her eyes. As soon as they saw him, sanity began to trickle back into his mind, comfortable and familiar emotions diluting the unknown new ones. "You are so beautiful."

by **Khara** on April 30th, 2015, 1:48 am

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She tried to keep her eyes on his but the instant she saw Zhol's gaze begin to roam her body she couldn't help but do the same to him. A flush of embarrassment swiftly directed her gaze back up from where it had been lingering a bit too long as the stuttered words began to leave him. Khara felt her hands try to weave together, trying to grasp hold of one another in an effort to find familiar ground and feelings in her nervous fidgets. No sooner than they started though than she became aware of it and slowly slipped her arms behind her back. No hiding, her thoughts reminded her as her hands clasped together again out of sight.

"Th-thank you," she stammered, eyes glancing away before looking back to him. "You look-"

The urge to say something in return came upon her before she could clearly think it out and it left Khara stopping mid-sentence awkwardly. Don't say something stupid... Don't say something stupid. She forced herself to take a deep breath, trying to calm the sudden racing of her heart that felt like it wanted to challenge her consciousness with a sudden rush of dizziness.

A small step towards him was taken, her hands forced to relinquish their hold on one another as she reached out to ensnare one of his. All the while Khara had to practically force herself to keep her gaze locked with his out of fear of where else it would go. Her nervous tendency to look downward suddenly became something to actively avoid and gods, it difficult to do so.

"You," she tried to begin again but once more found that words failed her. A nervous laugh escaped and she peered up at him with an overly shy expression that was completely unwarranted all things considered. Her fingers ran small circles against the back of his hand as Khara forced her eyes to close on the next deep breath in, using the warm darkness as a focal point. She imagined it briefly covering her, covering them, and when it drained away all this needless anxiety would go with it.

As her eyes slowly opened and her vision was entirely filled with the sight of Zhol once more, Khara realized immediately that she hadn't been entirely successful. It did offer a little moment of clarity though, enough to finally find something better to say than the myriad of awkward and possibly inappropriate compliments fluttering about in her head.

"I mean... I think we both need this." Need what exactly? The accusing voice cut her off and caused a blush to immediately rise to her cheeks. "I just... I think it'll be nice to relax. Together. And warm water is better than a cold cave, yes?"

It really wasn't what she wanted to say, but Khara knew it was probably the best she could hope for until her wits decided to come back down from whatever peak they had flown off to. A small step was taken backwards towards the bathing pools and gently tugged his hand to follow her. "I just don't want to hide anymore. Not from you."

"Nari" | "Common" | "Pavi"

by **Zhol** on May 1st, 2015, 12:56 am

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"I look like I need a bath that badly, huh?"

There was a smile on his face and in his voice as he spoke, making it clear that wasn't his serious interpretation; more an attempt to shatter the awkward silence that seemed determined to form between them. She was right: they did need this, not just to relax but to be relaxed, to be at ease around each other. They spent every night curled in each other's arms, and lately they'd been half-way to the state they were now, sharing warmth and feeling each other's heartbeats as they slept. In the cave, there had been no clothes between them at all; and for better or worse, Zhol didn't want to undo that step forward that they had been forced to take. If they began stepping backwards, there was no telling how far their shared anxiety would make them both stumble.

He squeezed her hand a little and followed her step with one of her own, making sure she knew that he hadn't misinterpreted her words. Those days were behind them now, and Zhol had no intention of returning to those times; especially not in the baths, the venue of their worst misunderstanding of all. He followed along behind her as Khara led the way to the first of the pools, crouching at the edge enough to allow her to slip gently in without having to let go of his hand. He followed after, much more awkwardly; and then again the silence struck them. Khara turned and there she was again, hand in his, indescribably beautiful, inconceivably naked, irresistibly close...

"Oh, petch it," he whispered, and surged towards her. He crouched, one arm wrapping around the backs of Khara's thighs, the other supporting her back, hoisting her from the water. He leaned backwards, her weight resting against his body, her lips perfectly aligned with his. He kissed her, not timid or tentative, but with all the furious passion that was aching to be unleashed. The hand on her back slid upwards, cradling the base of her neck; he didn't want to have to breathe, didn't want to have to stop, didn't want to do anything but stand here and kiss the woman he loved. His body had other intentions though; a gasp ripped their lips apart, their foreheads coming to rest against each other.

"No more hesitating," he whispered. "No more shame. I am yours, and you can see as much of me as you wish. Do... anything to me that you wish. In your arms is where I belong, and... I would never stop feeling your body against mine, if that was my choice to make."

by **Khara** on May 1st, 2015, 1:32 am

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She was more than happy that Zhol brought an end to their awkward movements and glances. That open invitation was more than enough to wash away most of her uncertainty and left her feeling exhilarated, though she had a sneaking suspicion that the sudden intense kiss they had shared had something to do with that as well. A wonderful sense of calm swept over her as a deep breath was let go of and Khara couldn't help but keep her eyes locked with his for a few moments longer. Her lips found his in another kiss, far less timid than anything else she had managed to far.

"I wish it was," Khara spoke just barely above a breath. "I like it when we're like this. I'm sorry, if I surprised you at first. I think maybe I should have said that I would wait for you."

It sounded too much like an apology for something she was pretty sure she hadn't done wrong. Like she was trying to retreat back to familiar ground of self blame even if there was no blame to be had. It was just like Zhol had said, wasn't it? No more hesitation. No more shame. "It's just... It is like I said, I-I like when you look at me."

A slight rush of embarrassment crept upon her as he continued to hold her, and as much as her words were true, the baths weren't exactly the place for such an embrace. Comfortable being seen by Zhol was one thing, comfortable being seen how they were by someone else was altogether different. Khara had never quite understood those who openly displayed such affections, though that may have been more from an underlying feeling of envy that those involved could be more comfortable doing it than she ever could just being around it. It seemed silly and rather backwards when she thought about it. Still, this wasn't exactly the reason they were here and the girl was fairly certain she could encourage Zhol to recreate this entire moment once they were back in their room.

As Khara slowly slid from his hold and felt her feet return to the pool's floor she couldn't help but let a smirk tease the corner of her lips. A sudden rush of playfulness came unexpectedly from somewhere in her mind, the very thought that came to her was almost shocking, but just once she thought it might be okay to let that side of her have it's way. She couldn't keep acting like every touch or look was an accident, not anymore, and he had said she could do anything he wished, right? Fingertips trailed down Zhol's shoulder and back and Khara's grin broadened as her hand brushed against his backside. For a tick she held his gaze and let her hand linger against him before drawing away, not quickly, but letting the teasing look return to her gaze all the same.

Her eyes held his for a tick or two as her mind battled itself, the more nervous bits of her regained control and caged the less appropriate thoughts away back where they belonged. Why had she done that? That wasn't like her! But do you see how he's looking at you? The rare coquettish side within her chimed in before fully being locked away. The smile didn't leave, however, even as she turned away from him to begin scrubbing at her skin like she was supposed to be doing.

"Nari" | "Common" | "Pavi"

by **Zhol** on May 3rd, 2015, 8:25 pm

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I like your surprises.

That was the response that Zhol wanted to give. That was the response he almost gave. That was the response he was fumbling around in his mind to find some sort of Nari translation for. Surprise was a tricky word, not one he could ever remember having heard used; unexpected was close, but I am like when you am act unexpected was clunky, even by his hideously low standards. Then she had slipped from his hold, and had obliterated any thought of it from his mind. It wasn't an accidental brush, the way that his arm had against her other cheeks as she'd slipped past; it was deliberate, intentional; teasing, even. She knew exactly what she was doing, and her smile proved it. Zhol couldn't help but echo with one of his own.

I really like your surprises, he mentally amended.

He felt a little pang of remorse as Khara drifted away from him, but a bath was what they were here for, and any - what was it his mother had always called it, canoodling? - could easily be revisited behind closed doors if the desire so took them. Zhol hoped it would; he couldn't imagine himself not wanting to peel off Khara's clothes and feel her against him that way. Still, they had just spent the best part of the last three days in the wilderness, and refreshing as the spring rain they'd found themselves trapped in had been, it was hardly the most effective of cleaning options. Zhol scrubbed enthusiastically at himself, fighting to ensure that he was swift but thorough, rather than rushed. Desperately, he wanted to progress through to the deeper pools, where they could relax, enjoy each other's company, and perhaps embrace a few more times if he was lucky. He'd need to be clean first, though - it wouldn't do to try to be close to her again with the Unforgiving still caked to his skin.

An odd urge rose through him, a confession occurring that probably didn't need to be uttered, and yet he felt compelled to. "I looked," he said, as if that explained everything, realising a moment later that he did not. "Before. Not just last night, but before then. Other baths. Even..." He hesitated, reluctant to refer to that time specifically. "Even the first time, in Fall. When you kissed me for the first time, I... I looked. I saw more than I should have. Since then, I... I try to look away, but sometimes I cannot. Sometimes I just... cannot keep my eyes off you."

He frowned a little, scrubbing the abrasive water across his shoulders and neck. It wasn't a sad admission, and it felt strangely liberating to say it, even; but still, his voice had an air of partial regret. "I know that it does not mean the same to you. I know that here you do not mind about seeing each other. But for me... looking away is how I show respect. I could see all of you, but I choose not to, even if I want to. Especially because I want to. You are not some object to be stared at and admired, and I did not, do not wish you to think that I see you that way. For me, having your permission is..."

He couldn't quite translate the sentiment into a word. An honour? A privilege? A gift? "...a treasure," he decided. "I did not wish to take it until it was given. I am... lucky to have been given that permission, and I am sorry that I disrespected you with my stolen glances."

by **Khara** on May 4th, 2015, 10:50 pm

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Why did he have to word it that way. Everything Zhol had been saying had brought a secretive little smile to her. Maybe a season ago she might have felt over self-conscious about the admission and a season before that she may have been downright uncomfortable, but now? Now it felt good in a way to know that she was actually worth stealing glances at; that apparently her fears that he didn't want to for any and all complicated reasons wasn't true. Khara had never really considered herself pretty or interesting enough to be worth that sort of thing, finding out at least one person - the most important person at that - thought otherwise was more than enough to cause an upwelling of emotions that were practically dizzying.

But then Zhol had said the single word that made her entire chest feel like it had suddenly caved in. The smile faded from her lips and her hands stopped their idle scrubbing she had only been doing to kill time until he had been ready to move on to the lower pools. Disrespected. Was that what she had done too?

Khara knew how Zhol felt about the baths, knew his discomfort and yet she couldn't help but cast the occasional curious look his way each time they came here together. Lately the looks had even been less curious and more something else; she already had begun to know what most of his body looked like on memory alone and her mind had been eager to fill in the missing pieces. Permission hadn't ever been sought, however; hadn't even been considered necessary. For all the careful ways that Zhol treated her, each bit of understanding and caution that was how she had repaid him?

Her throat suddenly felt dry and she thought of casting a glance over her shoulder at him but couldn't bring herself to see how he was going to react. Moreover, she didn't trust herself not to let her eyes wander; not anymore.

"I-I am sorry. I have disrespected you as well." She didn't want the words to come out sounding as forlorn as they had and instantly regretted them. The apology was supposed to sound as sincere about it as she felt, not hidden underneath a layer of sadness she didn't want to feel.

"Nari" | "Common" | "Pavi"

by **Zhol** on May 5th, 2015, 12:07 am

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Despite the situation, despite the sadness in her timid voice, Zhol couldn't help the smallest flicker of a smile as he waded through the baths towards her. His approach wasn't eager this time, not a pounce, no effort made to sweep her up in his arms. His touch on her was timid, a gentle brush of her upper arm, and then of her cheek, enough to tilt her head up towards his, to make her gaze meet his.

"You have it backwards."

His brow furrowed with sincerity. It was not the first time that this had happened; that cultural differences and understandings had come between them. It was one of the first times though when he had no need to choose his words carefully; no need to dance around admissions that he was not supposed to make. He could explain it to her, completely and utterly, and with any luck she would understand.

"You are not of my culture. You were not raised the way that I do. You do not see the world in quite the same way that I do. It is those differences, I think, those intriguing little variations between you and I that make us... work. Were I an Inarta, I would not have learned to treat you the way that you do. Were you from Endrykas, you would not be the perfect person that I adore. I am... I am not sure how souls work, I do not know if you and I were drawn together or if this is just chance but... while I do not doubt that I would love you whoever I was and whoever you were, it would not be the same. It would not be worse, or better; just different. I like what we have now, how we are now."

His frown deepened slightly; he was straying, deviating from the truth that he needed to speak. He collected himself, considered his words, focused for a moment on gently brushing a stray wisp of Khara's hair, tucking it behind her ear before he spoke again.

"For me, that understanding of respect is burned into my mind; but it is not into yours. For you, respect is different. It means a different thing. Yet, I see what you do - I see the way that, even without me asking, you avert your eyes when we change. I see the way that you force your eyes to look at mine, to fight the urge for them to stray when we are in the baths. The way that you speak to me in common, to be sure that I will understand. The way you try, the way you fight against all your years of living here, to treat me as an equal and not as an Avora."

He smiled for her; a warm, easy smile. "That you treat me as you do? That you love me as you do? That is not disrespect, Khara. You honour me with your every action, and I love you more and more each and every time that you do."

by **Khara** on May 5th, 2015, 12:21 am

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She was glad they were alone, not just for the fact that they were alone, but that she was able to be more true to herself around him. If other Inarta had been in the baths it would have been so much more difficult to simply react to him, to even talk in the first place. It also meant she would have had to hold in the outpouring of emotions she felt. She would have had to hide the smile that formed, hide the way she wanted to never stop staring into the deep emerald pools that were his eyes, hide the fact that all worry that she had caused undue harm took wing and hurried away from her and she was left feeling impossibly lighter in its absence. Khara didn't care that they were in a state of undress as she suddenly moved her arms against his back and pulled herself against him.

"Thank you." Khara mumbled against him before drawing away just slightly as she realized how close together they were, of their naked bodies pressed against one another. A blush rose in her cheeks as she looked back to him. "I am sorry for misunderstanding. I just, I never wish to make you think I don't care for you. Respect is important here, it is expected... But you have never really asked it from me, not like others do. I do not want you to think that the way I am able to act at you now is not showing that. I need to show that for you. Because I love you."

She glanced to the side and breathed out heavily, one of her hands moving from his back across his hip slowly and gently. "I know we are careful here because of what has happened in the past. I just wish we did not have to be so much."

A small tug of a smile came to her as Khara looked back up at Zhol, the smile on her lips broadening as she couldn't help but feel the same warm comfort flood through her that his gaze always seemed to provide. "But it is as you said. There is no more shame between us."

"Nari" | "Common" | "Pavi"

Closed First Contact (Part 3)