[Issues found by Astator] Feng Rainsong

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Feng Rainsong

Postby e_black162_2 on March 24th, 2016, 1:52 am

Feng Rainsong


Basics:
    Race: Human (Dryka)
    Birthday and Age: 498 Spring (18 years old)
    Gender: Male

Physical Description:
    Feng is 6'1" with caramel brown skin and long, black hair. He is thin, but muscular and weighs 180 pounds. His hair is very curly; so much so, it balls up as it gets longer (gets nappy). He usually wears it braided into dreadlocks. His eyes are a very dark brown that seems almost black. He is covered in tattoos that depict the fights and hunts he's been in. He covers most of his tats with his shirt, but the one over his lip is almost always exposed. He gives off a bit of a tough guy vibe with his looks, but he's really a nice guy.

Character concept:
    Feng is a live and let live kind of guy. He usually does his own thing and enjoys being alone. He's not great at making friends but he tends to form strong bonds to the few he has. He's an honorable hunter and fighter and despises cheating. He refuses to cheat even if his opponent is doing so. Most importantly, he hates tyranny, and will go out of his way to help anyone being pushed around if he can.

History:
    He was born to a group of Dryka and naturally became a hunter within the Emerald Clan. He became a skilled horseman, beast master, and hunter and developed a love for community and friendship, though he didn't interact much with outsiders. At 16, he was supposed to be married, but his bride went missing. After some searching, he found the girl dead in the grasslands, a rare occurrence. After the gruesome discovery, he decided early marriage just wasn't meant to be, and that he was destined to be an adventurer instead. So, he packed his things, said his goodbyes, and set out into the world.

Training and Skills:
    Archery:10
    Swordsmanship:10
    Riding:5
    Survival:10
    Tracking:10
    Sneaking:10

    Lores:
      Animal whisperer and Survivalist skills

Possessions:
    deerskin pants and sleeveless shirt,rabbit skin shoes, wolf head hat, and an elk skin cloak (dyed black) The wolf hat was made from the head of a pack alpha. The alpha was killed and skinned by Feng's father whom then gave the head to Feng as a birthday gift.

    He has his own bow and arrows with a deerskin quiver. Has a pack with a week's food, a waterskin, flint and steel, and has a dagger he uses for both hunting and cooking. Finally, He has a short sword, he took from a fallen Dryka warrior.

Ledger:
    100 gold coins (starter pack)

Thread List:
e_black162_2
Player
 
Posts: 1
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Joined roleplay: March 14th, 2016, 1:47 am
Race: Human

Feng Rainsong

Postby Astator on March 25th, 2016, 2:12 pm

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Hello there! Welcome to Mizahar! Unfortunately you have several glaring issues that must be accounted for before you can continue with any sort of threading in character. Let’s get started!
  • As per Mizahar Rules your Account Name MUST BE your Character’s Name must be the same. You can make that change here, in the User Control Panel
  • If you are a Drykas you must have a horse – A Strider to be exact – And that needs to be listed in your possessions. You can find the Horse based Housing Package in the Starting Package under Housing
  • Please take the time to go to your User Control Panel and change your race from Human to Drykas. Please edit your sheet so the race says ‘Drykas’ not Dryka.
  • Please attach your Character Sheet URL to your Profile. This is the URL:
    Code: Select all
    http://www.mizahar.com/forums/topic64336.html

    After these above changes you can hit Submit.
  • Your character’s Birthdate MUST have a season and a date. This means: Spring, Summer, Fall, Winter. Winter has 92 days, all the rest have 91.
  • Please re-read the Drykas lore for a more thorough understanding of them, I would also look into the Strider found in the Horses Lore as well
  • At 16, he was supposed to be married, but his bride went missing. After some searching, he found the girl dead in the grasslands, a rare occurrence.
    This is totally NOT rare.
  • No languages? Drykas typically start with Pavi as Fluent and Common as Basic. These are suggestions (though Pavi is almost required)
  • You Skills MUST list the Starting Package (SP), Racial Bonus (RB), and Earned Experience (XP).
  • Survival is not a skill, you are looking for Wilderness Survival I would recommend reading up on the skill, you will also need to pick a biome, they are found in the Novice section of the Skill Progression.
  • Sneaking is not a skill, I do believe you mean Stealth?
  • Archery is not a skill, judging from the listed possessions (more on this though below) You are looking at a bow, but what kind? The Price List will be super helpful for that. Your skill for this would be Weapon: nameofweapon.
  • Your Lores are not lores, they are just statements. Lores are specific bits of information that your character knows, this said. You can have a lore like: Survivalist: How to start a fire using moss.
  • Please list your possessions in a fashion that is legible, I cannot tell what is what exactly. Please list ALL starting possessions. Anything not found in the Starting Package for Starting Equipment or under the Housing Section you must purchase. If you take the Horse based Housing you CAN NOT cash in the housing.
  • All other non-starting possessions must be purchased, again the Price List will be helpful and you must account for every Copper, Silver, and Gold mizas you have spent accordingly.
Any questions please private message me, I will do my best to assist. Also, please if you have time and need help right away, visit Chat there are lovely people there. Green and Reds are Moderators. Reds are specifically Founders. There are some Storytellers lurking there and several veteran players. Please take the time to get to know them and them you. I would also suggest private messaging Prophet as he is the Domain Storyteller for Endrykas and the Drykas if you need help.

I would recommend rereading the Lore Pages for all the links provided. After you have completed the fixes for this issues, please private message me via the little envelope below my name on the left.
Thank you,
Astator
Which way do you want to go? Up or Down?

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