[Sanctuary] Words Can Not Express.... (Kavala)

(This is a thread from Mizahar's fantasy role play forum. Why don't you register today? This message is not shown when you are logged in. Come roleplay with us, it's fun!)

Built into the cliffs overlooking the Suvan Sea, Riverfall resides on the edge of grasslands of Cyphrus where the Bluevein River plunges off the plain and cascades down to the inland sea below. Home of the Akalak, Riverfall is a self-supporting city populated by devoted warriors. [Riverfall Codex]

[Sanctuary] Words Can Not Express.... (Kavala)

Postby Hatot on January 24th, 2011, 5:40 am

Image
40th Day of Winter, 510 A.V.

How long had it been? Hatot felt a sinking feeling over his miserable failure at commitments made and not kept. His head lowered as a fogged breath escaped his lips, the subtle rustling of heavy cloaks brushing along deep snow lingered in the air as his hand slipped out from underneath, fingers brushing along the Cheva mark that still lined his neck. He wondered why it had not changed, why Kavala had still been devoted to him after he had been gone for so long without a word. Wyser and the Velispar. His family dragging him further into Riverfall society. His own students going through their Rites. How the hell could he have forgotten her in the course of an entire season?

He had faced many things over the course of his life. Very few things had frightened him. Point in fact, the only thing that had was Radris, and she had relieved him of that fear. Facing her, after having been gone for so long, however, to see her disappointment, to feel the most definite anger she would have for him as a result? Such truly terrified Hatot down to his very core. It froze him in place where he stood more than the gently falling snow and biting cold air of the winter season. His legs shook not from the cold, but from his expectance that she would not forgive him for such. That she would send him away, never wanting to really see him anymore. “How about we head to the tavern first, drink these nerves away?” Radris’ voice echoed into Hatot’s mind.

“I didn’t expect you to be anxious.” Hatot echoed back, his gaze still fixed on the fine, white snow that was ankle deep.

“I ain’t afraid.” Radris echoed with a scoffing tone before falling silent for a moment. “Think she’ll kick our asses?”

“We deserve it.” Hatot replied, letting out a heavy sigh as he looked back up to the front door. “But I fear the words. Physical pain and injuries heal with some attention. Words can scar deeply and haunt you for the rest of your life.”

Radris then fell silent again, not having any jest or snide reply. It felt entirely like the had just committed a dishonorable act, and they had both felt disgusted with themselves for it. “Sure you don’t want to grab that drink first?” Radris suggested once more.

“No,” Hatot replied immediately, “the longer we wait, the more difficult it will be to return. We could no longer be welcomed as it stands now.”

With that said, Hatot began to move forward, his feet leaving a trail along the snow that was more like a line that tracks. He was dragging his feet and they felt so heavy now. He had an easier time walking into a den of hatching Velispar than he did with facing the potential anger and disappointment that Kavala would likely have for him. He could only hope that she would forgive him.

He stopped at the front door, his hand reaching up and grasping at the buckle that kept his cloak fastened at his neck, slipping it free. Flashes of his first encounter with Kavala swarmed in his mind, the hesitation that both of them seemed to have towards one another. As the heavy cloak was laid out along the ground, Radris had his own flashes as the tail of the cloak Kavala had made for the both of hung loosely over their body. Flashes of the first time Radris and Kavala had met each other. She had been the first one who wasn’t an Akalak to stand up to him, after he had killed a man in front of her no less.

The hooded white robe that she had made for them was removed next and laid out over the heavy cloak so it would pick up no dirt from the ground. Hatot released a worried sigh as he reached to his side with both hands, beginning to unbuckle the straps to his leather armor next, several memories of times before when it had been removed. Of Kavala or himself removing it to examine or heal wounds, and other times that were more physically pleasing. He slipped it off to the side, leaving his upper body now bare. Scars old and new lined his body. Some of them Kavala would be wholly familiar with, others not. And they both remembered of times when Kavala’s fingers would trace curiously and tenderly over each of those scars. Finally, Hatot reached behind his back, already feeling the cold air beginning to like at his skin like a razor, before pulling his Lakan free from its sheath. He looked over it in silence for a long time, noting each of the features he had put into it, and how it had a twin to it. Its brother rested in Kavala’s possession. He had always known were she was when she carried it with her, but for so long he had not gone to her. Looking over the Lakan in his hand, that fact began to make him nauseous with guilt.

Hatot slowly lowered the Lakan to the ground, laying it just before the door, its handle facing away from him and towards the door itself. His neglect in recent time left him feeling he didn’t deserve to handle such himself anymore. He knelt along the ground, the cold snow spreading along his shins, knees and feet as a cold he couldn’t seem to notice over the anxiety of being a failure in Kavala’s eyes washed over him. His hand slowly reached up, fingers curling into a fist as it remained hovering in the air for another long moment before finally wrapping along the door. Both of his hands fell to his knees then, as his gaze was lowered to the foot of the door, waiting to see who’s feet would appear first. If it was Aweston or another living within Sanctuary, he would plead for them to get Kavala first. In the end, he wouldn’t just enter without being invited to first. For what he had done, he had felt he had lost such a privilege.
Last edited by Hatot on February 25th, 2011, 8:53 am, edited 1 time in total.
Image

Please, do not upset me. I would hate to unintentionally rip your throat out in a fit of rage.
User avatar
Hatot
The Edge Walker
 
Posts: 271
Words: 301214
Joined roleplay: February 17th, 2010, 8:12 am
Race: Akalak
Character sheet
Medals: 1
Trailblazer (1)

[Sanctuary] Words Can Not Express.... (Kavala)

Postby Kavala on February 1st, 2011, 4:41 pm

ImageSometimes life seemed unreal. In an instant everything about ones self could change and so too could the world. Kavala was acutely aware of the preciousness of it. She understood, too, how devastating the Valterrian was on the world because her own world had been shattered once, then twice. The first was when her girlhood and innocence had been stolen by slavers who had gang raped her and twisted things inside of her that hadn't yet began to untwist. The second Valterrian of Kavala's life had been when Hatot had stopped coming around. The first storm she had managed to weather. The second one she was still in the process of trying to figure out how to pick up the pieces from. The first storm had been impersonal, as much as she hated to admit it. The second one hurt far more.

Kavala coped in a multitude of ways. Ordering the bloodbanes had been one coping mechanism. Formulating a plan to start a new breed of horse exclusive to Sanctuary had been another. Throwing herself into her work - both training horses and teaching riding - had been a third. She'd also started making house calls on sick animals and kelvics. She shoveled snow when her fitness let her, and rested huddled by the fire on the bad days when she was too sore from an unruly growing child to do much more than stretch. She was hungry constantly but ate no more than was good for the child. Kavala had episodes of temper and depression, both of which drove her to silence and to vest herself into her work all the more quickly.

But more than that, she took it one day at a time, dealing with the things that needed dealt with on that day while trying not to read too much into anything or say too much at all.

When she opened the door, it took her a moment to recognize him. It wasn't because she'd forgotten what he looked like, but rather it was because her eyes didn't understand what she was seeing. His armor in a pile, his lakan on the ground, him bare chested. A wave of cold struck her, first from the outdoor chill and then from the recognition. She'd been warm a moment ago, the braziers in both the clinic and upstairs keeping everything warm. She was dressed warmly in wool that looked new. A tunic designed for a far larger woman covered her now oddly shaped frame. There was no belt, though his lakan hung from a piece of leather that crossed her chest and went over her shoulder to provide a beltpouch and room for a few sheaths up its front and back. She still moved with grace though, and when she looked at him as if trying to understand what she was seeing, her gaze was so blue her eyes looked blind.

Kavala stood there for a long while, saying nothing.

"Hello. You should come in out of the cold."
She said in Tukant. She didn't know what else to say. If he nodded or reacted at all, she'd at the very least show him into the waiting reception room where the warmth would chase away the cold of outside.

Image
Image
The Sanctuary The Sanctuary Forum Riverfall The Cytali
Reverie Isle Wolf Creek Training Course
Please Note:
  • This pc is maxed out in Animal Husbandry, Medicine, Observation, Rhetoric, and Socialization.
  • Kavala a Master Teacher. Students she is teaching in thread can earn more than the maxium 5 XP per thread.
  • This pc has a Konti Gift of Animal Empathy. She has a superpower from a Riverfall city event that allows animals of all sorts and Kelvics (in kelvic form) to speak clear understandable Common around her.
  • Kavala is a Konti but was raised in the Drykas culture so her accent is entirely Pavi though she can speak Common, Pavi, and Tukant well. She's only conversational in Kontinese.
User avatar
Kavala
I am more than the sum of my parts.
 
Posts: 3025
Words: 3295757
Joined roleplay: October 25th, 2009, 1:46 am
Location: Riverfall
Race: Konti
Character sheet
Storyteller secrets
Scrapbook
Plotnotes
Medals: 17
Featured Thread (1) Mizahar Grader (1)
Trailblazer (2) Overlored (1)
Master Merchant (1) Donor (1)
One Thousand Posts! (1) One Million Words! (1)
Riverfall Seasonal Challenge (2) 2014 Mizahar NaNo Winner (1)

[Sanctuary] Words Can Not Express.... (Kavala)

Postby Hatot on February 3rd, 2011, 12:42 am

Image
Hatot remained motionless, Kavala’s voice hitting him like a thunderous echo across the clouds that shook him to his very core. He tried to find words to reply but words escaped him at that moment. In the end, he simply gave a nod. He slowly gathered his things and stepped into Sanctuary, his head still lowered. As they moved to the reception room, the door being closed behind them.

As soon they had come to a stop, Hatot slowly turned around, looking to the ground once more. He so fear her gaze, and the thought that there might be indifference or hatred in them. He eventually fell to a knee once more, letting out a shaken breath. “Kavala,” he said, the anxiety in his voice breaking that usual calm and relaxed tone, “I have done to you something I never should have. I can make no excuses for myself, and I don’t expect that you will forgive me for being away for so long, but I offer my apologies to you all the same.”

Hatot fell silent once again, looking up into Kavala’s eyes trying to peer into that depth as he had once before in a season’s past. He soon looked away, however, finding himself unable to look upon Kavala as he had before. He felt he had no right to such, not until she granted him such. “If you wish to cast me aside, to never see me again, I will understand.” Hatot said as he gazed back upward looking upon Kavala’s lips and face, but avoiding her eyes for the moment. “I will grant you full rights to raise our son if you decide you don’t wish to see me. I only ask that I be allowed to see him from time to time.”

Another slow pause was given as Hatot waited to see if Kavala would give her answer strait away, stating that she may, indeed, never wish to see him again. “If you should decide, however,” Hatot then managed to express, risking a gaze into Kavala’s eyes once more, “I will do everything I can to earn that privilege you have given me. I know it will not be easy, regaining your trust, nor will it be right away. Still, I hope you will give me that chance.”
Image

Please, do not upset me. I would hate to unintentionally rip your throat out in a fit of rage.
User avatar
Hatot
The Edge Walker
 
Posts: 271
Words: 301214
Joined roleplay: February 17th, 2010, 8:12 am
Race: Akalak
Character sheet
Medals: 1
Trailblazer (1)

[Sanctuary] Words Can Not Express.... (Kavala)

Postby Kavala on February 3rd, 2011, 5:46 pm

ImageKavala came from a society where men did not explain themselves to women, nor did they go down on one knee for them. It made her extremely uncomfortable witnessing him doing so and even more confused as to why he was doing it. Kavala didn't want his apology for anything. She didn't want him to humble himself. She didn't even want any of that. It felt wrong to her, strange, and somehow like it would damage Hatot's spirit. He did say something that caught her attention immediately. Full rights to their son? But only if she never wanted to see him again? Was that truly a condition? Kavala almost growled.

"Radris. I want to talk to Radris. Not you, Hatot, not right now."
She said suddenly, abruptly, following her instinct. He wouldn't bow on knee to her. He wouldn't humble himself uncomfortably and unnecessarily. Hatot was a fool if that is what he thought she would demand. And he'd know her even less than she'd thought he did if that was his first thought.

She wouldn't speak until the darker twin surfaced - or at least she thought he had. Sometimes it was hard to tell, even harder to know until he made a motion or gesture, or even said a few words. If Hatot complied though and let her talk to Radris, she'd continue speaking.

"Why is he doing this? Like this? And why are you letting him? I've never asked him for anything, nor ever made any demands on him. Why would he think I suddenly have now? I've only ever told him what I wanted and then let him decide if he wanted to make sure that happened or not. My wants have never been a condition of our relationship, ever. You know that. This scares me. And it's not right. I don't even want to talk to him when he's like this. It's not him. What in the Ukalas is going on, Radris?"
She asked, no demanded, anger infusing her words.

The Konti sat down suddenly, in one of the comfortable waiting couches and started to draw her feet up on the bench with her so she could wrap her arms around her legs like a child. But she couldn't manage the move, the motion too awkward with her increased girth. She looked on the verge of tears, which was not Kavala at all. The expression passed though as emotion washed completely off her face. Her defense mechanism kicked in hot and heavily, sheltering her like it used too in the old days when she'd first came to Riverfall.

"I am not a tether to keep you both here when you are needed elsewhere or desire to travel or even just need time alone. I understand that. I also know that pregnancy puts strain on men and they look elsewhere. I don't own you, Radris. I don't own him. But a word or a visit once in a while might be nice. It's almost been two seasons." Her voice held no anger and her eyes were empty of expression. What she was feeling was buried so deeply and instantly that she probably didn't even know what she was feeling herself. It was a product of her past, a mechanism that had seemed to vanish the more she had came back into society and opened up.

Kavala heaved herself to hear feet, sighing softly and not knowing what else to say. "You are welcome here. You always have been and always will be. I would like full rights to my child though, so if something ever happened to you that incredibly large family of yours would not take my son or daughter from me. That would be a nice gesture on your part." She said, then paused to study him, to fully look in his eyes.
Image
Image
The Sanctuary The Sanctuary Forum Riverfall The Cytali
Reverie Isle Wolf Creek Training Course
Please Note:
  • This pc is maxed out in Animal Husbandry, Medicine, Observation, Rhetoric, and Socialization.
  • Kavala a Master Teacher. Students she is teaching in thread can earn more than the maxium 5 XP per thread.
  • This pc has a Konti Gift of Animal Empathy. She has a superpower from a Riverfall city event that allows animals of all sorts and Kelvics (in kelvic form) to speak clear understandable Common around her.
  • Kavala is a Konti but was raised in the Drykas culture so her accent is entirely Pavi though she can speak Common, Pavi, and Tukant well. She's only conversational in Kontinese.
User avatar
Kavala
I am more than the sum of my parts.
 
Posts: 3025
Words: 3295757
Joined roleplay: October 25th, 2009, 1:46 am
Location: Riverfall
Race: Konti
Character sheet
Storyteller secrets
Scrapbook
Plotnotes
Medals: 17
Featured Thread (1) Mizahar Grader (1)
Trailblazer (2) Overlored (1)
Master Merchant (1) Donor (1)
One Thousand Posts! (1) One Million Words! (1)
Riverfall Seasonal Challenge (2) 2014 Mizahar NaNo Winner (1)

[Sanctuary] Words Can Not Express.... (Kavala)

Postby Hatot on February 15th, 2011, 11:25 pm

Image
Hatot slowly looked up, looking as though he was about to say something, in the end he simply remained silent and lowered his head again. A short moment passed by before the Akalak’s frame stood up to it’s full height, crimson red iris’ staring down into Kavala’s now. Before he could utter a word, Kavala began going off on him, demanding answers to the questions that came out in a full string. It made him wonder if she was taking a moment to breath. His remained silent, letting Kavala get everything out that she wanted to as he took a lean along the nearby wall, folding his arms over one another.

He felt like grumbling over it all, but at the same time he couldn’t help but smile, seeing her release like that. A year ago he remembered her being incapable of such. Finally, after she had finished moving aknist entirely around the waiting room, Radris slowly reached up, wiggling his pinking finger along his ear. “Well, that was some head of steam that was let out. You came out strong out the gate, but tapered off there at the end.” Radris said as he lowered his hands down to his waist. “You should be telling this to him though. As much as I like seeing you vent Kavala, I can’t always be the mediator between you two.”

“If you’re pissed at me? Fine, let it all go and give me some slap or kick.” Radris said as pushed himself off his lean. “If you’re pissed at him though, bring it on him. We’re two different souls, you know that. You tell him directly, because as much as I like confrontation, I don’t enjoy the ones I didn’t start. I don’t enjoy his. Last time I was doing this for him was when I was in a petching cage, only let out when he couldn’t deal with the pain.”

“Now, that being said,” Radris said as he slipped around, grabbing his shirt as he began slipping it on, “we’ll move on to the venting itself. He feels guilty Kavala, and he’s the type of guy to beg for forgiveness when he feels he’s wronged someone. Fact of the matter is, I feel we both wronged you. And you know what? Your wants should be a condition. They should be in any relationship. Otherwise, it’s not really a relationship, it’s just an acquaintance. Less than. Hell, your cliental coming in here for you to bandage their beasties have wants that are conditions.”

Radris then slowly turned, facing her once again. His hand fell along the back of a nearby couch, taking another lean. “Perhaps he wanted you to come to him even.” Radris then said, giving a slow shrug. “As much as I peer, I don’t know every facet of Hatot’s mind, nor him mine. There is some privacy between us. And if he sets his mind to something, no amount of badgering I will do will stop him. Only thing I could have done was try and wrestle control of our body, and that just opens up the cage in us once again, waiting to trap one of us.”

Radris then let out a slow exhale, his head and gaze dropping for a moment. “In the end, things got complicated I suppose. Especially for him.” Radris finally said. “His successful Rite, the expectations of the family, his students going on their Kiddie Rites themselves. Hell, Big Daddy Wysar sent us on an errand. It all just seemed to come at us all at once Kavala. I’m not saying such an excuse makes things all right, but considering just a little over a year ago hardly anyone in that city wanted anything to do with us, it became an adjustment that we likely weren’t ready for. Hatot especially tried to bear it all. He may have not wanted it all, but you know him well enough that he doesn’t like to disappoint either. He’s the light, after all. The respectable one. I’m just the guy that hits things and enjoys it. But in it all, he felt he ended disappointing the one he least wanted to, and that eats him up more than you know. That‘s why he‘s doing this.”

Radris then fell silent for a long moment, his arms folding over one another again. He slowly gave a nod as in reference to her comment about their child. “The arrangements have already been made. If anything should happen to Hatot and I, you will be the primary caretaker if a son is born. Our Grandfather will stop on by from time to time to teach him about our people, culture and the family line, but he’ll be your son to raise Kavala.” Radris explained as he finally took a seat along one of the couches. “And even if we are alive and well, you will have full rights. We never had any intention of keeping him or her from you in the end.”

“So, we’ve both unloaded our minds.” Radris then said finally, looking up at Kavala. “So what do you want to do now?”
Image

Please, do not upset me. I would hate to unintentionally rip your throat out in a fit of rage.
User avatar
Hatot
The Edge Walker
 
Posts: 271
Words: 301214
Joined roleplay: February 17th, 2010, 8:12 am
Race: Akalak
Character sheet
Medals: 1
Trailblazer (1)

[Sanctuary] Words Can Not Express.... (Kavala)

Postby Kavala on February 21st, 2011, 3:32 am

ImageShe was tired and heartsore before the words were even exchanged. Looking at him hurt her. Feeling like this made her miserable. She studied his eyes and then settled in standing firmly before him, letting him respond. Kavala listened carefully to all of it. There were things he didn’t understand, of course, but she wasn’t sure pointing them out now would have much of an effect.

For example, she had no idea where Hatot lived when he wasn’t at Sanctuary or supervising the building of his facility. He’d never taken her to his home, only to his Grandfather’s house to meet his family there. Contacting him? Well… a woman had her pride and especially in Riverfall knew her place. After two seasons of pregnancy and having Hatot around and then suddenly not having him here, there were deeper issues and her Konti psyche realized that. Maybe he was afraid? Maybe he did get busy. But she thought there was love between them, and that sort of emotion and that of their vows should have been enough to work its way around any of the other smaller things like time and uncertainty.

And now Radris wanted to fight? Did he expect her not to be angry? He’d schooled her time and time again on embracing her emotions rather than repressing them. This was one of those times, surely, when it was appropriate to talk rather than fight. And especially now, when she could barely ride a horse without Aweston boosting her fat ass up on someone’s back.

“It takes both of you to carry out something. If he stayed away, you did too Radris. The anger is equally divided between you and you are both equally responsible.”
She said softly. “My wants are simple. I have told you what they are time and time again. My needs are a completely different story. “ Yes. She had both. The needs she didn’t want, and the wants she couldn’t have. That much was obvious to her now. She wanted Hatot to want to be around her, and that much was certainly not in the cards and why he was back now completely baffled her. And she needed, frankly, someone to be around now because there was a lot she couldn’t do for herself. Things were slower for her, more awkward, and she could hardly do the things she used to do to keep her facility running. But she’d had to hire help, rather than depend on people just out of the goodness of their heart. It shouldn’t have hurt, but it did. She didn’t want to need that. She wanted to be independent. This whole conversation, in fact, reinforced the need for her to actively hire more people to help run Sanctuary. One wasn’t enough. It needed a full staff. With her income, she could afford to pay people out of pocket and not have to worry about who was going to throw feed bags around when she couldn’t even manage to heave herself out of a chair.

But she didn’t need Hatot or Radris for that. What she needed them for was something deeper than that. It was something he hadn’t said, a word he’d not used. It was an emotion he hadn’t expressed. Not once. It made her heart bleed. And as it did so the child within her began kicking and she shifted uncomfortably. She winced, laid her hand on her stomach, and willed the young life to settle itself. It did, but only reluctantly. And she abruptly sat down again.

Her emotions were a being tossed around like waves in a winter storm.

“He might be the light, Radris, the respectable one, but there’s nothing respectable about….” She shook her head, letting it go. Another firm kick struck her and she wanted to grunt .but instead she held her silence. Then she took a deep breath, and another. “…leaving me alone with no words, no visits, no note. What sort of light is that?” She added. Kavala shook her head. She blinked her eyes yet she felt the tears anyhow. They traced lines down her cheeks and she hated herself in that moment for betraying her weakness and her need. Nothing should hurt like this, like a piece of her was torn loose. The child kicked again and instead of trying to calm it, she seemed to embrace its violence.

Kavala bowed her head and cried. She let the tears fall and said nothing, unable too, her shoulders shaking silently. The konti always wanted to be the type of hard that never cried. Human men had once beaten away her ability to cry. They’d also beaten away her ability to feel anything. But now she felt everything, acutely, and she had no idea how to react to it. She wanted to run. She wanted to disappear where she sat, leaving him all on his own the way she’d felt.

But Akalaks were never alone. They didn’t understand solitude or abandonment because their twins always filled their heads whether they liked it or not. The konti were different. The ones with sight might be one that type of person, never alone, but that wasn’t Kavala’s lot in life. She cried like she’d never cried before and let Hatot see it all.

It lasted a long time. It lasted so long that she wasn’t sure she was ever going to stop. Kavala cried for so many things, some she understood well, and some she barely realized. But most of all Kavala cried for the loss of the ability to control her own life and have things in neat columns and rows. She cried because Radris and Hatot didn’t seem to know the right thing to do or the right decision to make. And instead they left her with a decision that was no decision at all. By law she was his. By the gold on her wrist she was his. And he’d not wanted her. And now he didn’t even want to fight for his son. It spoke volumes to her. They weren’t wanted. He’d come here for closure, to wrap up past entanglements, to let her think it was all her choice. But really it wasn’t. It was his. It had always been the choice of men. Always.

Eventually she quieted. Her tears had been silent anyhow, a cocoon of private misery surrounding her and shutting him out. And when they finally dried on her cheeks, dulling her iridescent scales with saline, her face was blotched and unattractive. Her hair was loose and tangled from running her webbed hands through it.

Kavala simply looked at him. She blinked, swallowed, and met his eyes. “I’ll do what I always do, Radris. I’ll survive. I’ll keep moving through life dealing with things as they come to the best of my ability. Some are easier than others. This is not an easy one. I wanted so much for both of you to love me, to need me, to want to be in my life. I understand things change. I understand when life piles up you need to cut the excess out of it so you can get things done. I just never wanted to be the excess. I wanted to be a partner and someone to help ease the burden, not add to it. I see now that I am not that for Hatot. I’d change it if I could. But you can’t force things and you can’t make something into a thing that it is not.” She whispered, her throat rasping from the tears. “At least you came to tell me though. I’m glad for that, even grateful. Thank you.” She said softly, brushing hair out of her now-red eyes once more.


Image
Image
The Sanctuary The Sanctuary Forum Riverfall The Cytali
Reverie Isle Wolf Creek Training Course
Please Note:
  • This pc is maxed out in Animal Husbandry, Medicine, Observation, Rhetoric, and Socialization.
  • Kavala a Master Teacher. Students she is teaching in thread can earn more than the maxium 5 XP per thread.
  • This pc has a Konti Gift of Animal Empathy. She has a superpower from a Riverfall city event that allows animals of all sorts and Kelvics (in kelvic form) to speak clear understandable Common around her.
  • Kavala is a Konti but was raised in the Drykas culture so her accent is entirely Pavi though she can speak Common, Pavi, and Tukant well. She's only conversational in Kontinese.
User avatar
Kavala
I am more than the sum of my parts.
 
Posts: 3025
Words: 3295757
Joined roleplay: October 25th, 2009, 1:46 am
Location: Riverfall
Race: Konti
Character sheet
Storyteller secrets
Scrapbook
Plotnotes
Medals: 17
Featured Thread (1) Mizahar Grader (1)
Trailblazer (2) Overlored (1)
Master Merchant (1) Donor (1)
One Thousand Posts! (1) One Million Words! (1)
Riverfall Seasonal Challenge (2) 2014 Mizahar NaNo Winner (1)

[Sanctuary] Words Can Not Express.... (Kavala)

Postby Hatot on February 21st, 2011, 11:37 am

Image
Radris sat there, looking to Kavala as she released, her words hitting farm more than his ears. Radris wasn’t one typically one to sit through and remain silent with emotional displays like this, but Kavala was different. She was important to both him and Hatot. She deserved to be allowed to get this out without heckling from Radris to make things worse. He soon stood back up from his seat as he watched Kavala break down and begin crying, and whether it was from Hatot’s own feelings affecting him or the care he had himself for Kavala didn’t matter, but for the first time in his life, Radris felt a true twinge of guilt in the pit of his stomach. It twisted and knotted within him, wanting to make him double over.

He walked forward then as Kavala stood back up, his eyes taking on a shade of orange, showing that Hatot was rising back to the surface along with Radris remaining there. His hands slowly reached out, looking to cradle Kavala’s face in his palms if she allowed it. A shaking exhale escaped his lips as his eyes looked into Kavala’s with an expression of sorrow and guilt behind them. “We can’t express how much regret we do have over this Kavala, and in the end, it likely won’t help much, if at all, nor will any amount of apologies or gestures. All the same, we’re sorry for what we’ve done to you Kavala.” He said, the voice of Hatot and Radris reverberating with one another as it was both soft and barely above a whisper.

“And we will never stop trying to make it up to you.” He then said as he continued to look deeply into Kavala’s eyes. “No more excuses on our part, because there is no excuse for what we did. All we can try and do is try and make up for it, because you were never an excess that we wanted to cut away. In the end, our own inexperience and unfamiliarity with life and relationships in general caused us to screw up in likely and entirely unforgivable way. Before you, we never really even had anyone that we could share our burdens with, and we failed to see that. We’re idiots for that, but it never meant that we loved you less or thought that you were someone we could cast aside.”

He then gave a long sigh, sitting Kavala down along the couch, taking a seat next to her. “We’ve hurt you. It was never something we wanted to do, but I did. And we know we can’t just walk back in here and think that you’ll want to pick up where we left off.” He then explained, hanging his head a little. “But we do know that we still want to be a part of your life. Perhaps the damage to your trust of us is irreversible in the long run, and we may never earn it back enough to be your love once again, but at the very least, we want to earn enough back that we’ll still be someone you will still want in your life. Perhaps love as family at least.”

He then dropped his hands, letting them rest along top of hers if she allowed, looking up into her eyes again. “We know it will likely be a long road, but if you’ll let us, we will walk it for as long as you will let us.” He then said, giving a hopeful look.
Image

Please, do not upset me. I would hate to unintentionally rip your throat out in a fit of rage.
User avatar
Hatot
The Edge Walker
 
Posts: 271
Words: 301214
Joined roleplay: February 17th, 2010, 8:12 am
Race: Akalak
Character sheet
Medals: 1
Trailblazer (1)

[Sanctuary] Words Can Not Express.... (Kavala)

Postby Kavala on March 9th, 2011, 8:39 pm

ImageThere were lessons here, Kavala thought. Life was full of them. She'd let her guard down even after the capture and let herself care about someone. Kavala had trusted as well, and that had gone awry so quickly. Glancing down at the bracelet on her wrist and back up at Hatot and Radris combined, she knew things between them were complicated and would continue to be so. She knew there was anger and pain on both sides, and on hers she didn't know what the future would hold.

She loved Hatot and Radris both, but they'd proven themselves young and unreliable. Kavala didn't want to be hurt. She didn't want to give her heart and her life to someone who wouldn't be there the first chance he got to run. The apology was sincere though, and she nodded to it knowing that with the situation, only time would tell whether they could put it back together or not.

"Thank you for your words, Hatot and Radris. I understand and I appreciate what it means for you to say them. Thank you. I'll accept them, too. But I don't know where we stand just yet. I think time will tell. There's a lot going on right now. There is a lot to be considered and a lot to do in the next seasons. I'm handicapped now in my training and in life until this child is born. I'm going to focus on that first and foremost, making it through winter and into spring. Spring is going to be crazy. Not only will the new child come, but the mares will foal too and have to be rebred. I've learned one thing in the last few turnings of the world and that is that I cannot do it by myself. I'm going to hire help, Hatot, and fill sanctuary with people that can do what I can no longer do alone. I hope you understand. I want to keep my dream going. Its important to me. Beyond people and even family, its all I have." Kavala said softly. She didn't own herself. She only owned this piece of land.

He sat her down on the bench and she resented it a little, feeling like a child being forced off her feet so she'd listen more carefully or something. She did quiet a bit, stopping her words, and let him sit her there neatly. She sighed, knowing it was proper behavior. She did, after all, belong to him in a manner of speaking. The bracelet on her wrist and the child in her womb.

Kavala took a deep breath, still listening to him.

"I'd like you to be part of my life, in whatever capacity you feel you can be. But if you decide to do that, follow through with it. I can't handle you disappearing time and time again after coming to depend on you."
She said softly. "I'm not going to share your bed any longer though, not until the child comes. I want to take time this time to get to know you. I deserve more than that as well." She wanted the romance. She wanted to be won not taken advantage of. "And afterwards I will need to rest. If later the council doesn't grant me freedom, then you can take up my contract again and have full access. Or leave me to whomever else comes along if I am not released." Hatot had a lot of work to do to win back Kavala's trust. He could do it by just being there though. She didn't want the world from him. She just wanted him to be around and part of her life. If he couldn't be that, there was no need to pretend.

"Is that clear? Do you understand?"
She asked, looking tired and a bit worn. Truth be told she didn't want to stand up and continue what she was doing. She wanted to relax the rest of the day away and take a break. Lately she'd been tired, too tired, and worn to the bone. Help had to come and had to come soon. She just couldn't continue to run Sanctuary at the level she did now with the shape she was in. Something was going to give. The kelvics would help her, but she needed more than the two of them.

She could have really used Hatot's help too. But she was too proud to ask for it and too willing to expect he'd get busy again, forget, and break his promises. She didn't want to tie him with bonds he wasn't willing to have nor set him up for failure at a task he couldn't rightly do due to his nature.

So she waited... nodding, knowing that time would be the only judge of this conversation and its outcome.
Image
Image
The Sanctuary The Sanctuary Forum Riverfall The Cytali
Reverie Isle Wolf Creek Training Course
Please Note:
  • This pc is maxed out in Animal Husbandry, Medicine, Observation, Rhetoric, and Socialization.
  • Kavala a Master Teacher. Students she is teaching in thread can earn more than the maxium 5 XP per thread.
  • This pc has a Konti Gift of Animal Empathy. She has a superpower from a Riverfall city event that allows animals of all sorts and Kelvics (in kelvic form) to speak clear understandable Common around her.
  • Kavala is a Konti but was raised in the Drykas culture so her accent is entirely Pavi though she can speak Common, Pavi, and Tukant well. She's only conversational in Kontinese.
User avatar
Kavala
I am more than the sum of my parts.
 
Posts: 3025
Words: 3295757
Joined roleplay: October 25th, 2009, 1:46 am
Location: Riverfall
Race: Konti
Character sheet
Storyteller secrets
Scrapbook
Plotnotes
Medals: 17
Featured Thread (1) Mizahar Grader (1)
Trailblazer (2) Overlored (1)
Master Merchant (1) Donor (1)
One Thousand Posts! (1) One Million Words! (1)
Riverfall Seasonal Challenge (2) 2014 Mizahar NaNo Winner (1)

[Sanctuary] Words Can Not Express.... (Kavala)

Postby Hatot on March 28th, 2011, 3:17 am

Image
He gave a nod of his head, remaining silent for a moment as he took in her words. “I understand, and I will respect your decision of course. The last thing I wanted to do was disappoint you Kavala.” his words almost somber as his cupped his hands together in his lap. “We have put strain on you through our mistakes, and we’ll try not to repeat them in the future.”

His hand then slowly reached out, resting along the surface of Kavala’s stomach in a touch that had been more gentle than any before that. “For both of your sakes.” He then said, letting out a slow exhale.

“If you want, to help ease the burden of Sanctuary until you find the help you want, I can bring my students and we can help you with the heavy lifting at least.” He then offered, looking up into Kavala’s eyes. “They would consider it part of physical training, and chances are some might be interested in learning some medical or animal training skills from you as well. Not all of them will have aspiration for becoming warriors alone, after all.”

Hatot then rose to the surface, the golden hues of his iris’ shining clearly in his eyes. He waited for Kavala to answer before continuing. “One day at a time should be good, but for tonight, you look a little worn down, and I apologize for my part in that.” Hatot then said, slowly looking to the steps that lead up to Kavala’s room. “If you will allow, and in no way am I saying you need it, but I would like to help you to your room if resting would suit you now?”
Image

Please, do not upset me. I would hate to unintentionally rip your throat out in a fit of rage.
User avatar
Hatot
The Edge Walker
 
Posts: 271
Words: 301214
Joined roleplay: February 17th, 2010, 8:12 am
Race: Akalak
Character sheet
Medals: 1
Trailblazer (1)

[Sanctuary] Words Can Not Express.... (Kavala)

Postby Kavala on March 30th, 2011, 10:07 am

ImageKavala hated herself the way she melted when Hatot and Radris united reached out and touched her stomach. How many times had she longed for him to show up after a long hard day and simply just hold her and rub the awkwardness of the child settled in her womb until the child itself settled down and quieted enough for his mother to rest. Their touch was enough to get her to relax, to soften, and even to shiver slightly with a longing to be with him, to be held by him, to relax enough to cry the way she really wanted too once he'd started talking.

Kavala glanced up and met his eyes.

"You know I won't accept help."
She said finally, knowing it was the truth. Her voice was soft, breathless even. Maybe she would have before. But not now. Not ever again would she be that soft. Kavala would work herself to the ground, to her very knees, before she'd take charity. It was what Hatot was offering, the charity of his students. "Besides, right now I'll be fine. It's later that it will be harder. I'm getting ready for later." She said even more softly than the first admission had been uttered. There was no blame in her eyes nor in her voice for him not being here. Sanctuary wasn't his responsibility. His school was. Sanctuary was hers, and something she held on to fiercely.

"If any of them want to learn medicine or about the animals, send them. But only send them for that, not for anything more."
She said firmly.

There was an edge to her voice, and she realized suddenly how very big the rift between them had grown. She wanted to cry out, to hold her hand out and beg him to come to the other side, to join her on one edge or the other. But she would not... could not. Being dependent on him, on anyone, would make her weaker. She understood that now. And she had to be strong, for the child she carried and for the legacy she wanted to found.

Kavala followed Hatot's gaze to the stairs and shook her head. "No, its time I fed and the cow needs milked. I'll see to it and then I'll sit for a while." She rose then, using her hands to push herself upright. "Thank you for coming, both of you. Thank you for your words and offers. We'll see what time brings. Like I said before, you are welcome here - both of you." And with that, she turned and left him standing, walking off towards the veranda, and to the stable yard beyond. She'd do what she said, feeding everyone then milking the cow. Kavala would like to have said she left him standing there because she was strong. But the truth was she left him standing there because she was a coward. Any more time, any more incentive, she would have caved and forgiven him everything - yet hating herself in the long run more than she could ever say.

Image
Image
The Sanctuary The Sanctuary Forum Riverfall The Cytali
Reverie Isle Wolf Creek Training Course
Please Note:
  • This pc is maxed out in Animal Husbandry, Medicine, Observation, Rhetoric, and Socialization.
  • Kavala a Master Teacher. Students she is teaching in thread can earn more than the maxium 5 XP per thread.
  • This pc has a Konti Gift of Animal Empathy. She has a superpower from a Riverfall city event that allows animals of all sorts and Kelvics (in kelvic form) to speak clear understandable Common around her.
  • Kavala is a Konti but was raised in the Drykas culture so her accent is entirely Pavi though she can speak Common, Pavi, and Tukant well. She's only conversational in Kontinese.
User avatar
Kavala
I am more than the sum of my parts.
 
Posts: 3025
Words: 3295757
Joined roleplay: October 25th, 2009, 1:46 am
Location: Riverfall
Race: Konti
Character sheet
Storyteller secrets
Scrapbook
Plotnotes
Medals: 17
Featured Thread (1) Mizahar Grader (1)
Trailblazer (2) Overlored (1)
Master Merchant (1) Donor (1)
One Thousand Posts! (1) One Million Words! (1)
Riverfall Seasonal Challenge (2) 2014 Mizahar NaNo Winner (1)

Next

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 0 guests