Evening of the 45th of Spring 518
Taurina had found that every city had a pulse. A certain rhythm of life that vibrated through its people to its very core. Endrykas’ pulse had been fast, its sound as the beating of hooves against the steppe, always moving, always running. Riverfall’s pulse was steady and strong, never deviating from its calm thrum. Even in times of fear, of trial, it maintained that constant beat. As if knowing any change would be a breaking of all that it had worked so hard to become.
Just as the city had pulse, so did life. So did Taurina’s life. Her days had fallen into patterns since her bondmate’s return. She had something to focus on, something to do, and someone to take care of. Her days could not be spent lying listlessly on her too comfy bed poorly fighting the urge to just check out of life. Now she rose with Syna, finding food for them both and trying to keep conversation as they filled their stomachs. The Ethaefal’s mornings had been designated for training, work filling her afternoons, and the evenings spent within the apartment with Alek where they tried to find things to do so their hands did not become idle.
There was something quiet about this life. Something to knowing that most days were not going to be filled with the unexpected, and that death was not so close as the plains had always made it seem. Taurina did not hate it. She did not love it either. Somedays her heart ached so greatly for the grasses that her chest hurt and her head spun. Those days nothing could satisfy her, nothing could stop her from allowing her mind spiral down into deep dark holes. She was always more irritable on those days, more prone to snapping at whoever was unlucky enough to be around when her edge was reached.
Other days, though, she was at peace. She was able to enjoy simple things and distract herself with work or training. The training was new to her, something she had long known she needed to pick up and had tried to on the grasses. Not very hard, not as hard as she should have, but now she felt like she had a reason outside of herself for doing it. Now she had a bondmate who had decided to become a Nakivak, who was going to bear a child for one of the Akalak when the time came and she was deemed healthy enough.
The pair had not talked much on the subject. Had not talked much on any of the subjects brought up during that first day they had spent together after so much time apart in the days since. Taurina had spoken how she felt about the situation. She was unhappy and even, to a certain extent, angry. She had promised to never abandoned her bondmate, however. She had swore to that and she was not going to break it. Similarly, she had promised to protect the redheaded wolf. Protect from what, Taurina did not really know, but she was going to protect her. It had not taken long for the Drykas to realize she did not know how, had no skills in her arsenal to pull from, and that had scared her. So the training had begun and would continue for as long as she felt she needed.
“He hates it here,” Taurina murmured in her pavi accented common, her accent slowly beginning to fade as her more dominant and known language was used more and more.
Gentle fingers stroked down Starfire’s soft face, lips coming forward and brushing across the space between his nostrils. The Drykas still felt so guilty for bringing him. Seeing him here, how sad he seemed to be, made her heart hurt and her eyes turn away. She had done it. It was her fault. Yet she could not bring herself to say she regretted it. Without him… Without that last tie to home… She was unsure if she would have been able to make it here. If she would have been able to find a reason for living those first several days spent wallowing in her own self pity.
“I’m sorry my zulkina, I am so sorry,” Taurina whispered sweetly in pavi that cracked but remained understandable.
The stallion blew out a warm breath, as if he somehow understood. Taurina stroked his cheek and looked to her bondmate, offering a shadow of a smile. Dusk had already begun and they needed to be approaching home, but the Eth did not feel ready. Did not wish to leave him as she always did. As she always had to. Another thing that tore at her heart.
Usually Taurina came alone to see her beloved Stallion. Somedays she settled the yvas onto his back, gathered his mane in her hands, and rode him across grasses and streets. Some knew who he was, what they were together, but not all. Some gawked at the pretty white stallion whose rider rode like those of the horseclans, not having any idea of the bond that pulsed through them. Starfire was always restless, even during their rides. He wanted more, he wanted to be free. She had always held him back, but here it was more. In Riverfall there were more boundaries, more structure. It was no longer just her fear that dictated their speed, but buildings and people as well. Taurina found even she disliked it.
Alekxandra had asked about Starfire, wanted to know what had happened to him and where he was. Taurina had taken her time with answering. Wondering if the predator’s presence would only cause added stress, but then she had decided that maybe another who was familiar might do the opposite. She was unsure, knowing the pairs relationship had been rocky at best during the summer and that much time had passed since then, but it was worth a shot. It was worth trying. So Taurina had brought her bondmate to the place the other remaining piece of her shattered heart resided.
“We should get going, long walk back and we do not want to be out past nightfall,” Taurina reminded her bondmate, the faded lines of her smile sad.
There was a sigh and a last stroke of Starfire’s face before a lingering kiss was planted in the middle of it. Taurina was reluctant as she pulled away, as her strider seemed to reach for her with his velvet nose. It was always hard saying goodbye. Taurina knew she would come back, was sure he knew it too, but parting would remain bitter for her. After seeing Azmere ride off into the grasses to never return… To leave her heart anywhere but within arm’s reach was difficult. Because, deep down, she feared that like with her ankal, she would wake up to find another piece missing.
Taurina walked away, her steps slow and her gaze low. The stallion called after her, the barrier between them holding firm so he could not come to her. That was the hardest, perhaps, leaving him trapped. Leaving him caged. It did not matter how big a space he had, it was not the grasses, it was not the freedom he had lived his entire life in. Taurina hoped neither of them ever got used to it. She hoped that one day they would go home and he would become just as he had always been, all these barriers forget in a tick.
“Do you think I made a mistake?” the Ethaefal asked her bondmate, her voice low as they began to make their way through the streets towards what had become a sort of home to them, “bringing him here? Coming here at all?”
The caramel gaze rose and fixed on the red head, teeth biting into the flesh of her bottom lip. The guilt and sorrow she felt was shining in those golden eyes, the rest of the world and the things inside of it forgotten. She was not watchful, was not weary, as they meandered through ever darkening streets. Was not careful to look for lights and stay out of the shadows. She should have been, should have known better after so much time here, but emotions had a way of making people forget. Of making what was important not seem to be as important as it truly was.
Common | Pavi | 'Thoughts'