[Flashback] A short-lived experiance

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A city floating in the center of a lake, Ravok is a place of dark beauty, romance and culture. Behind it all though is the presence of Rhysol, God of Evil and Betrayal. The city is controlled by The Black Sun, a religious organization devoted to Rhysol. [Lore]

[Flashback] A short-lived experiance

Postby Reaver on February 2nd, 2011, 3:42 pm

[Winter 250 AV]

((Ahem, excuse me while I find out a few major posting rules after posting, I'll be trying to fix this.))
((Hopefully readable now, my apologies.))

Reaver was unsure as to why it is TODAY he decided to remember something odd, but he wasn't going to stop himself, after all, waiting around for someone desperate enough to come to his house for medical work doesn't usually work out. The sign he put up only helped a couple days.

It was a strangely cold day, he recalled, which felt odd to him, as such details seamed irrelevant. The city wasn't quite a haven for safety, but that's not why Reaver was there anyway. He had recently been re-slaved, and his new owner was having a rather hard time accepting that he bid on the 'wrong' slave. He wouldn't even TRY to talk to his new acquisition. Something about a monster from the pits of some god. Something about fire? Maybe HE was cold, not the weather. About an hour of trying to exchange dialog went by, before he finally got the idea to order Reaver to be quiet. Reaver decided it was probably best if he complied, as the owner would do the same. Not too much beyond that, and some messenger or another ripped right by and knocked the owner straight into the water. Was the water cold? Reaver couldn't remember. After fishing him out, Reaver noted his owner had a large gash in his arm. This gash didn't look like the water's fault, either. Reaver pulled out his medical kit, and the owner swiftly didn't like the idea.

Owner: "Wait, I'm not dead yet you monster!"

Reaver made a quick gesture to imply he couldn't talk, then started reaching for the owner's arm. The owner swiftly backed away and complained again.

Owner: "I won't let you finish me off, I know how your kind work!"

Reaver: "Oh, if you REALLY knew that you'd let me help you. I'm not fond of losing body parts, and I suspect you wouldn't be either. Besides, even if I did want to do something your bias mind would imagine, it wouldn't work out well if you're injured heavily like that, now let me sew it shut."

It was around this time that Reaver met the medical lady, he hadn't known too much of medicine, still doesn't, but she knew. And she was nice, Reaver still wonders what happened to her...

M. Girl: "Oh, you can't just sew it up like that! You need to treat it first!"

The owner was almost afraid of the idea of someone helping the Nuit, but something about her face seamed to calm him down. Maybe he knew her? It was this point that he seamed to calm down, only expressing worry in his body language when looking at Reaver.

Owner: "Are you, a doctor?"

M. Girl: "I research medical supplies. I'll share some with you, I recently found one that numbs pain a bit, should help a lot for this kinda thing."

Owner: "Would you? I'd also like to ask you to keep an eye on my servant here, make sure he doesn't do anything strange."

M. Girl: "I actually don't know anything about how do fix something like that, the idea that he does actually surprises me. What's not to trust about him?"

Owner: "He's a monster."

Reaver: "Well, this monster happens to want you to keep your arm, so let the lady do her thing, and I'll do mine."

Owner: "Why would you say it like that! You're up to something!"

M. Girl: "Hold on, I'll keep an eye on him. You try and relax a little, and smell this, it'll help dull the pain."

Holding a cloth over he nose, she pulls something out of a bag she had, he moves away from it at first, but then relaxes a bit and took a big smell. Reaver tries hard to recall what that medicine was, maybe he'll look into it. Just that one smell and he fell right over, asleep. The medical girl then went and did several things that almost made Reaver flinch in pain, and applied some of her medicines. Some of those Reaver still makes attempts to gather today when he can. Anyway, after that, she left, just left. Reaver did his best to sew up his owner's arm. Good thing he was asleep, the sewing broke the first time, and the second was a bit rough. It held together well enough, it would leave some rather strange marks when it healed though. Or, should say it WOULD have. He disappeared a few days later, them someone thought to mention he died. Reaver never found the body.


Strange as it may seam, Reaver watched someone run past his door, who wore the same outfit his owner wore that day. In fact, the similarities were rather striking to his owner. But he would age, wouldn't he? Well, onto waiting for opportunity to knock. Maybe Reaver will remember something else.
Reaver's CS (Voice: #3355FF Thoughts: #000AAA Hidden: #3D2828)
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Reaver
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[Flashback] A short-lived experiance

Postby Verilian on February 3rd, 2011, 3:55 am

Image


Reaver

  • +1 Medicine
  • +1 Herbalism

You Question My Logic? :
Okay, I couldn't grant much xp since the thread was only one post long, but I gave you the medicine since you did stitch the guy up. The point for herbalism was for observing the M girl doctoring the man. While you didn't actually do anything there, you did learn a bit about her medicine.


Lores: First Aid 101, I Didn't know Herbs Could do That, Reminiscing About the Past

Notes: Okay.. so first off, I'd like to welcome you to Mizahar. I've got some tips for you to help you get along, so please don't take these the wrong way. Firstly, I wouldn't do your threads centered like that... from a mods perspective it looks tacky and makes me more likely to doc you points. Also, it will make people not want to read your thread. Second, when using dialogue try to make it more like something you would read in a novel. Yours looks more like a script or something. Instead of putting:

Owner: "Hello, how are you?".

Put something more like this:

And the owner responded, "Hello, how are you?"

Also, for flashbacks you don't need to do it as a memory.. unless you just want to. Technically there is nothing wrong with that. However, most of the time flashbacks are done as if they were happening in the present, but dated at some point in the past.

All in all though, you seem to be a good storyteller and with some practice I think you'll do just fine here. Again, please don't take my criticism the wrong way, I only said it to help. The thread was interesting and enjoyable to read. I recommend looking at some of the threads from people who have been here a while, so you can get some tips on how we do and format things, and you should be well on your way to earning lots more xp. Looking forward to seeing more from you.
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