[Issues found by Antipodes] Shine

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Postby Sunshine on June 23rd, 2018, 2:38 am

Basic Information

Race: Human
Birthday & Age :483 AV (26 years old)
Gender: Female

Physical description:

From afar, Shine looked like everyone else, with just one thing you couldn't put your finger on. But up close, she stood inches taller than the average woman at 5'9". As tall as she was, it was so unassuming because she was so proportionate; her large thighs and chest looked like they were made for her, made for a warrior. But in reality, her stature was the combination of genetics and a life full of hard work. Her only regret was that she would never have a small waist, but her narrowed shoulders and wide hips made up a curve that she held onto. She did, after all, want to be a lady.
But there was something else you didn't notice until you looked into her hardened eyes and sunken cheeks- Shine was emaciated. Her muscle stood out in sharp contrast, her cheeks beginning to sink in, her usually platinum blonde hair was lank and dirty. What had once been a woman of renown had gone through unspeakable things. And it is up to you to look into her eyes and decide whether that made her weaker or stronger.

Character Concept

If you asked Shine where she had come from, she would simply tell you it was far, far away. If you asked of her life before hers as a street urchin, she would suddenly remember an important task. If you asked if she needed to stop at home for anything before an adventure, she would tell you all she needed was her fists and her wits. What she would not tell you that she had been a slave girl, escaped from a house that was no home. She would not tell you that she had no home and no items, that she spent most nights sleeping in the most shaded spots she could with only her eating knife at the ready.

Character History

She was a light sleeper; she had to be with her upbringing, being sold to owner after owner. Some of them were kinder... Most of them were not.
But Shine slowly came to find strength. She began to steal little bits of cooper and silver as often as she could, every spare coin on the counter or left in the pockets of the laundry. And once she had amassed a small fortune, she ran. She ran as fast and as hard as she could with no horse and a backpack of supplies, barely stopping for breath, food, or water. And as she finally could take not one step further, she found a sewer great to crawl into and sleep. Crawling on her hands and knees, covering herself in all kinda of much, weak and unprotected, Shine collapsed against a hard wall with a crack in it, not even caring that what was probably sewage water was running down her back and shoulders. She leaned her head back, and passed out.
This is where her story starts.

Training & Skill Points

Brawling 15 (Starting Package)
Longsword 10 (Starting Package)
Story Telling 20 (Starting Package)


Simple brown cloth dress, earth green cloak, and leather boots (Starting Package)


100 gold mizas (Starting coin)
500 gold mizas (Starting Con-no house)

Thread List
Posts: 2
Words: 1658
Joined roleplay: June 22nd, 2018, 4:35 am
Race: Human


Postby Antipodes on June 23rd, 2018, 3:54 am

Hey there, I'm Antipodes, a CS Liaison here on Miz, and I'm here to help you achieve the coveted green check mark. In order to do so, however, there are some major changes that you need to make. Please note that you will have to cease play until these issues are resolved and the thread you posted in will be locked if need be.

It's obvious you have not bothered to read the welcome pm you received. Please go over it as it has all the info you need to successfully complete your CS. Your birth date, skills and inventory are all incorrect or incomplete and you are missing lores, a starting city, a birth city and a slew of other pertinent details. I welcome you to check out the CS templates as they have everything you need to include for your character as well as helpful suggestions for skills and lores.

Furthermore, if you are serious about writing here and want to read up on things and be a part of our community then feel free to join our discord. Please direct any further questions you have to the Q&A forum or the character help channel in our discord.
cs review starting package cs help cs templates discord
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