[Issues found by Luminescence] Huzz

(This is a thread from Mizahar's fantasy role play forum. Why don't you register today? This message is not shown when you are logged in. Come roleplay with us, it's fun!)

In this forum, all the character sheets are kept for player characters. Feel free to come on in, browse the forum, look at what sort of characters others have created, and then begin your very own!

Moderator: Liaisons


Postby Huzz on August 5th, 2018, 3:46 pm

Name: Huzz
Age: Likely 20-25
Gender: Male
Race: Human

Money: 0

-A set of simple cloth clothes (and shoes)
-A water skin
-One backpack containing;
A week of food supplies
An eating knife
Flint and steel
-An extremely worn ornate sword (heirloom)

Swordsmanship: 30 (30 from start)
Persuasion: 15 (15 from race bonus)
Politics: 5 (5 from start)
Haggling: 10 (10 from start)
Antibodies for poison/venom: 5 (5 from start, body is able to create defences towards poison/venom if given extremely small doses, just in case you were wondering how)

Dark-brown hair and hazel (brown and green) eyes, when completely idle, Huzz does'nt look all that happy/friendly (not say he is, it just his 'resting bitch face'), however among a familiar face he often boasts a simple grin but give him some to really smile about and he will look over the moon. From the condition of his skin, hair, etc, it becomes quite obvious that in his past life he wasn't anything near poor, despite this, obvious scars show that his life wasn't always relaxation/complacency. In recent events however, this look becomes less and less obvious to the untrained eye. Huzz's level facial hair varies as he usually just lets it grow for a while (and styling it a tad), then shaving it off to start again.

Usually optimistic in his own affairs, however, when deemed necessary, Huzz isn't afraid to say the hard truth. A deep wonderlust/curiosity, Huzz likes to ask questions, despite this he is rather self concious of this fact and will refrain to those he isn't fully comfortable enough with yet. Huzz is a blank canvas, (in which he is eager to paint) and those he respect may as well be a direct influence as to who he becomes. Huzz has lost himself, not knowing his skills, he relies on what he learns in the present (along with partial skills ingrained into him from his past). What he does and says may change as he instinctively assesses his surroundings (unless his mind faults this into a possible odd situation). (Backstory Below)

Huzz isn't really sure, about what? Everything really. One day he woke up, dangling upside down from a bridge, tied from his left leg with what seemed to be animal intestines, (at least he hopes they're from an animal) knowing practically nothing of where he was and who he was. His only memory, a gruff-yet friendly voice whispering "I hope your new life will be worth giving up all this, good luck sir". After a nice elderly couple helped him get loose from the intestines, he noticed two things, a old, worn and badly damaged blade was strapped to his back, it was obviously ornate, or more like it used to be and the hilt had a crest, although damaged, almost seemingly intentional to prevent recognition. The second thing was an aching, mind numbingly load sound in his head, in which could only be described as a loud... Huzzzzzzzzzzzz? Coming to terms with these recent events, Huzz reasoned with himself that whatever made him do this, was obviously not worth going back to if this was the price he was willing to pay. Hence, in what he later learned to be the town 'Lhavit', he saw this to be the perfect opportunity to set forth on a quest of self purpose, discovery, and good fun, adopting the name Huzz as a recognition of his 'internal calling'. Armed with his blade and a few generous donations, Huzz set out... whether or not he is prepared for what laid before him, has still yet to be answered.
Posts: 2
Words: 1434
Joined roleplay: August 5th, 2018, 11:48 am
Race: Human


Postby Luminescence on August 5th, 2018, 4:14 pm

Let me shed some light on the situation

Welcome to Mizahar, Huzz; my name is Luminescence, and I'm here to help. There are some issues with your CS that you're going to have to fix before you begin playing. To be blunt, you need to read the lore thoroughly. Please take a look at your welcome PM and the links within; they're all very useful.

*Your age: It doesn't matter if Huzz knows his birthday or not; a CS is all OOC information. You have to include his age as well as birthday (day, season, year). You also have to include a birthplace.

*Your skills: Skills need to be alphabetized. Swordsmanship is not a skill. 'Weapon: Shortsword', 'Weapon: Bastard sword', etc. are considered skills; you have to be specific. Haggling is not a skill, but Negotiation is. 'Antibodies for poison' is absolutely not a skill, but 'Poison' is. The skill is making poison and antidotes, not the body's ability to withstand them.

*Your history: Again, a CS is OOC, so you need to expand on how Huzz would have ended up in that situation. Amnesia is a very overused plot device and should really only be used if you think it is absolutely necessary for your character's backstory and development. The bridges in Lhavit are walled-in, made entirely of skyglass, and connect mountain peaks. There is no feasible way Huzz could have been dangling from one, and if he was, he probably would have died. You need to specify what city you're starting in as well.

These are just some issues with your CS; you start with money unless you're a slave, you need to specify what sort of sword your heirloom is (it has to be under 50 GM cost-wise), you have no lores, you haven't specified your housing...

I appreciate the effort, but as I said, please take a more careful look through the lore. You have a lot to fix. I'd advise looking at the Character Sheet Templates in this forum as well; you can use them to be sure you're not missing anything from your CS.

I'm more than happy to help if you have any questions; I can be reached through either PM on here, or found in our Discord chat.
User avatar
Allow me to light the way
Posts: 611
Words: 716290
Joined roleplay: January 13th, 2018, 2:05 pm
Location: Lhavit, the Diamond of Kalea
Race: Staff account
Medals: 2
Featured Contributor (1) Artist (1)


Postby Huzz on August 5th, 2018, 5:03 pm

Sorry, when making my character I wanted him to shape around his experience so I decided that the best way was to keep it blank in a sense. Despite this, I needed something to derive stats from and thus created my character with mystery in mind so those who read my cs could enjoy inferring his past ffor themselves of who he used to be.
I assumed from what I had read that stats would be stated but hadn't seen any restrictions from the starting guide. When I have the time I will read the lore thoroughly and locate the templates for the sheet to best follow the guidelines provided. I have never done this sort of thin so I will try my best to understand the rules and restrictions. Until next time,
Posts: 2
Words: 1434
Joined roleplay: August 5th, 2018, 11:48 am
Race: Human

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 0 guests