[Storyteller's Point Of View] City Drawbacks

[Monarch]

Why Melange's Pad (Yahebah) Sucks

Yahebah! That little tiny dot in the southwestern portion of Eyktol, remember? The one you skimmed over and then shuddered at the thought of playing around there? Yeah, that one. Believe me, I get the feeling too.

Colombina mentioned the fact that it was stuck in the desert, where no one can grow anything and no one can feasibly live there without a whole community providing for them. But Yahebah sucks even as a community, and that's mostly because of the rather large majority, (95% of the population, actually), the Benshirans. Man, do they suck.

Benshirans are like those old people that vigorously go to church every morning of every day for their entire life, singing all the songs and listing off all the scriptures by heart, which is perfectly acceptable. But when the ENTIRE CITY is like that, it gets a little old. These guys are just nuts about the Yahal dude, and if you don't like him or know all that much about Yahal, you're not going to last long without a tired lecture and a collective lynching with religious dogma.

Yahebah is never going to grow as a city, really. The place is just bound in all this endless tradition that it's almost impossible for progress to be made. You want to buy something from the local bazaar? Good, build a house for me and then we might talk about that payment. You want to have a little Sunberth fun in the city? I hope these adder pits look comfy to you. You want to have a role in politics? Well, I hope you brushed up on your Penita Scrolls because the government officials are priests.

And, I hope you are ready for this, most of it has collapsed! The walls survived because Yahal was nice enough to lace the marble with godly superglue, but the buildings inside the walls? They're mostly rubble by now, and Benshirans haven't lifted a finger to rebuild them because they are too busy dancing it up and relaxing on their pillows. (Fun Fact: Benshirans love pillows.) And really, how are they going to rebuild them? I don't think you can make sandhouses, guys. But Yahebah would be more lively as a sandcastle, mark my words.

If there was a bright core to Mizahar, Yahebah is the city that's the farthest from. But unlike Tatooine, we're not going to produce any cool magic-wielding swordsmen any time soon, because we hate magic! That's right, Yahebah hates magic.

Yeah, this place sucks.

[Panna Cotta]

What makes Sahova... well, Sahova. First of all, Sahova is an island. By island I mean secluded from the rest of the world, in more ways than one. And as if the distance from normal human civilization- or anything remotely alive - is already such a bad thing, Sahova turns out to be inhospitable, and this is just the island we're talking about. Not many fruit-bearing trees and not much game for the hunter. From an outsider's (pulser's) perspective, it's where you go to research and study magic (and die, the operative word here is die.). The moment you arrive, you realize you're at Alcatraz Mizahar-style, and you instantly get "living" quarters and you need to work. And on top of that you immediately gain a Master, who, for all intents and purposes, consider you not as an apprentice but as a slave or, worse, a test subject. Pulsers are constantly sought out not for their brains and talents and skills, but their bodies, which the wizards could put to better use when it doesn't have a soul inhabiting it. And that's not the worst thing about Sahova, because if you are masochistic enough to accept slavery.. I mean apprenticeship, your character can only afford a poor living condition at best, and staying for more than three seasons should make you look like you've survived on nothing but hard bread and a small portion of cheese - which is a plus for SuperModels, but those are extinct in Mizahar. Sahova the Citadel is a totally different story, but is just as worse. It's Alahea's last stand, where hundreds of Nuit wizards live together in continous strife. Some of them believe that there's still war out there, and are preparing for retaliation against the Suvan empire. (Or whatev's left of it) The best thing about Sahova is it's magic, because nowhere - NOWHERE - in the world exists a magic facility as big (and productive, ftw!) as Sahova. Other cities may pretend to have a pretty laboratory or boast a few outstanding mages, sell pretty but fake artifacts and offer lessons on magic. They can try, but their best won't come shit close to what Sahova has. Good for them. Sahova has it bad, really bad, for having all the best mages in every magic possible - hidden, lost, or otherwise - and as a consequence; It has all the most number of casualties in magic every year. Overgiving is as common as air, which is decidedly filled with wild djed. And if the magic didn't make a wizard terrible enough (though, some of the wizards are, by nature, even without their magic, are already bastards and SOBs), multiply that by hundreds. You have freaks, loons, magic-users who think they're too intelligent for you. Who will kill you the moment they think you're thinking of rubbing them the wrong way. Did I mention you don't even get paid in Sahova? Yeah, tough luck. Sure the Masters promise you that they'll provide you with the items you need, but then what they really provide are the raw materials that you use for your experiment and research. "Win-win"? What about soap, new clothes, deodorant? They ain't providing you that, so they'll tell you you can make a living "on the side" by selling stuff you create - if you manage to finish your job, and that's already an understatement - but they don't explain why, for some reason, even when they're giving you your earnings, you feel cheap and shortchanged. Taxes are more than 50%, unless you're friends with some higher-ups then they'll cut that down to 25%. Which is not bad, because it's only half as bad. Get it? Ha. And let's not forget the Archwizard, who's just as good as the Queen of England (no offense to any Englishmen). The role is purely titular, because of-all-cliches you have his second-in-command Mr. I'm-agoraphobic-Qiao, a man who has good but misplaced intentions, running the rest of the Citadel like it's a school of hard knocks. Being in Sahova means that you'll get a sample of politics - Sahovan Nuit Wizard politics. So you're not with Mashaen, but not with Qiao either? Heh, it would only be a matter of time before your actions force you to take a side. Inasmuch as Nuits are generally aloof and selfish, all actions... and I mean all actions are watched by those in Authority(Qiao). Sahova has a lot of secret rooms and hidden skeletons, someone's always plotting against somebody. And if you think playing cards with important people is a good thing, pleasing someone earns you the wrath of three others. They are extremely competitive, as it is with brains competing for acclaim and popularity. Nuits are rarely straightforward, most tactics are underhanded and delivered with cunning. Which is how it really should be, after all, academic pursuits are rarely as boring as the history books say. You ask yourself, why would I take the half a season surf to Sahova when all that's going to greet me are golems and the undead. So what if they've got the best magic tutors, who cares about archaeology and artifacts and powerful items that I could use to rule the world? Each year there are approximately ten apprentices who get accepted into the island - which increases the population. And then each year, seven of these ten die - which then increases the Nuit population. Yeah Nuits!!! I mean.. Eww Nuits. Who would want to be Nuit? They don't breath, don't blink, they're rotting. And it's such a bother to have to change bodies everytime the one you're occupying is already good as fertilizer? Aren't they all creepy and ugly and weak and smelly and useless? And, yeah, let's take into account that Sahova is a golem factory. If Drainira wasn't the best example of how sucky these artificial living puppets can be, you have golems within the Citadel who constantly decide to commit suicide - your suicide. Automation? Pfft. If you didn't know any better, they might just be rallying behind your back, planning how to assassinate you. Or take over the world. But let's leave that to the Tier II golems. You don't want to get zapped with their magic. By the way, have I said that Dira hates the undead and those who practice Animation? So if it sucked for a Nuit to be in Sahova, imagine how much more it would be for a Sahovan Nuit or if the pulser apprentice (who magically manage to stay alive) to leave Sahova. But if they don't, where will they buy soap and new clothes and food? And deodorant? Sad, really sad.

[Smudge]

Riverfall sucks because… For one, it is in the Sea of Grass, so stepping even one foot out of the city you risk losing your life. Glassbeaks and the Zith aren’t the most friendly of creatures, and even with all their wealth, not even the Akalak citizens themselves can always control the swarms of these pests. Moving on, if you are a visiting man, you might get intimidated into leaving Riverfall quite quickly. For one, the towering blue folk are extremely proud of their own world and more often than not they won’t look favorably upon more males within the walls. That being said, women might have a considerably better time. Even while there is a slim chance of finding a goody –two–shoes Akalak who will pamper and shower them with gifts in order to gain the attention he needs to seduce, there is still a high probability that women will die giving birth. On the other hand, a more common practice would be as Baku said it before; tricking the women into owing a debt. Kelvics should outright hate Riverfall. Most places consider them mere animals, but at least they can obtain some form of status within the city. In bastion of the Akalak, there is no such thing as a Kelvic that is considered human. They are instead very dear pets at best; and private breeding property at worst. Back to the Zith, there are annual hunts on there to keep their population in check; but not all who go forth venture back. All those who are keen on breaking rules should think twice before doing so in Riverfall. Breaking any rules, or even offending an Akalak with as much as a glare can land you inside of Gideon Arena, and trust me once there, you are either dead, a slave, or an incredible fighter. So yeah, it’s a nice place and all, but not really vacation material.