(This is a thread from Mizahar's fantasy role playing forums. Why don't you register today? This message is not shown when you are logged in. Come roleplay with us, it's fun!)
The player scrapbooks forum is literally a place for writers to warm-up, brainstorm, keep little scraps of notes, or just post things to encourage themselves and each other. Each player can feel free to create their own thread - one per account - and use them accordingly.
Hiiiiii Garrett! I am going to firsties on your SB! I even found this awesome picture for you!
Ahem... it really isn't relevant to anything but I like it so... here ya go. I guess you can say that it is me ordering you around as my intern. Although, you are not a cat and I am not blond (my character is though!).
ANYWAYS, I totally get playing a different gender than your own. I am a girl but I play all male characters. I currently have three active ones. Anyways, this is all for now. Don't disappear from the site. We need all of our interns in the IBKC.
Avanthal Lore | Vantha | Avanthal | Morwen ~-----------------------------------------------~ When I was just a kitten, They said I'd be a gem. But now that I'm a Cheshire Cat, It's odd how odd I am...
So I think, for my first and official Scrapbook post, I'll talk about the person whom I use for Harper's avatar and whom I got the inspiration for her name from!
So for about a year now, I've been kind of obsessed with this lady named Joanna Newsom. She's this harpist/singer/songwriter woman whom I'm in LOVE with. For one, she's really gorgeous, and that's always a plus. Then she has this really different voice. A lot of people don't like her voice because, well, I don't know why. They just don't. I know a lot of people say that she has "the voice of a child," and I've also heard that she has the voice of an 80 year old woman. I don't see it, but whateva~
But yeah, her voice is just kind of gorgeous, and she has this way of making me feel like I'm in the 1700s walking through a garden on the outside of a castle. That might sound weird, but I dunno. Her song '81 (which is above) is the song that really does that for me. It's truly wonderful. <3 Another interesting thing about her is that she is a harpist. Well, she could also be classified as a harper. Which, actually, is where I got the idea for my character's name! I figured, "Hey, I'm using Joanna's face, I might as well named my character 'Harper,' because Joanna Newsom plays the harp!' Anyway, she plays the harp, and that's pretty rare, I think. You don't see many harpists these days.
So yah. I guess Harper is kind of my shrine to Joanna Newsom. /weird?
So Sylvia Plath is probably my all-time favorite poet. I get a lottt of my inspiration from her. Her poems are somewhat haunting, like they're being told from the perspective of a ghost. She had this way of stringing together words like thread and making these wonderful elaborate poems. I don't know, there is just something about the way she wrote. Here's an excerpt from one of my favorite poems by her:
"I have fallen a long way. Clouds are flowering Blue and mystical over the face of the stars. Inside the church, the saints will be all blue, Floating on their delicate feet over the cold pews, Their hands and faces stiff with holiness. The moon sees nothing of this. She is bald and wild. And the message of the yew tree is blackness--blackness and silence." -Sylvia Plath, The Moon and the Yew Tree
Enjoy seeing my face because I won't post many pictures of myself, but I guess I just wanted for everyone who does happen to read this to have an idea of what I look like, because I know that it helps me read people's blogs and things like this when I know what they look like. Like, it's more personal or something. Whatever.
Soooo today kind of sucked, to be honest. I didn't sleep much last night because I never sleep much. Then, today at school, it was just awkward because I'm not friends with someone that I've been friends with for a lonnggg time. And it's really bad because I have to sit next to her on our way to college (our school pays for us to take college classes at a local college and drives us there on a bus when we get to school). We have assigned seats on the bus, and we can't move, and we decided to sit together at the beginning of the year. But we're not talking now...so it's just weird. We just sit there in silence and blah. Whatever, so that sucked.
And tomorrow I have a medical terminology test over like, 80 words on the ears and skin and I don't know any of them lolol<3 Kill me.
Blah, life is dragging on so slowly. I feel like honey dripping from the bottle; gross, sticky, and too lethargic for my own good. Lethargic might not be the best of words to use, but I don't know. I'm just hesitant to do anything. I'm scared of everything. I'm scared to walk in the hallways of my school for fear of being judged; I'm scared to take off my hoodie because I use it like a baby uses its security blanket. I'm afraid to speak, to move, to breathe. I'm afraid of messing up because I don't want to disappoint my family. I'm afraid to write because I'm afraid I won't be creative enough, or moving enough. I'm terrified of everything and I hate it. I don't ever want to leave my house. Hell, I don't want to leave my room.
And I'm terrified about college. I don't know which to apply to, what to do or anything; I've no idea what I'm going to major in and I don't know what I want in life. I'm so indecisive about every little decision in my life. I can't make up my mind about anything and it honestly almost sends me into a panic attack just thinking about it. My anxiety about life is astronomical and I'm terrified. Just terrified.
*sigh* I was going to write more about someone who inspires me, but I'm just too tired. Not physically tired, but mentally. I don't feel like thinking anymore.
I don't want to burst in here and go "I know how you feel" because no one can ever truly know and saying that you do when you really don't seems a bit disrespectful to another's feelings (at least in my opinion). Almost as if you are downplaying them in a sense. I can say though, I can relate to how you are feeling in my own way. This weeks has been dragging on for me as well. Every morning (this is no exaggeration) I have woken up feeling anxious for no reason what so ever. I tend to get anxious a lot though. Anyways, this is not about me, this is about you!
I hope that you start feeling better. I know that we have just met and all but if you need to talk, my instant messager SNs are on my profile. I'm in my third year of psychology this year (not that it means much since I keep learning the same crap each year...) and I was voted "class therapist" in fifth grade. I'm being silly... but I really was voted class therapist >_>
Anyways, as you can see, I am wonderful at going off on tangents. If you need to talk, I'm a good listener BUT I also know that one might not want to unleash their soul to someone on the internet so I understand if you refuse
As for high school and college biznizz, I went through it all last year and I totally agree. Stressful and scary. I cannot say don't worry about it because I worried about it and worried a lot. I also ended up going to community college so I cannot talk on the "don't worry, you'll get in front". I'm sure if you do well and really try your hardest things will go well. I'm a bit of a lazy butt which was why I did not get into MSU but I will get there someday. *steers away from the tangent again* I'm in college and I have no idea what I want to major in. People change their majors tons of times as they go through college. You don't have to know what you want yet, you just need to think about it. If you love it, you'll succeeded because it's not work, it's something you want to do.
As for yourself, I've found life is a lot easier to live when you are not worried about what everyone else is thinking. I used to be concerned about it and worried "If I do this will people hate me/be ashamed of me?" Sometimes they do. It's how life goes but those people do not matter really. If they are going to judge then they weren't worth impressing. If you are happy with you, others will follow suit and if they don't forget them.
I'm going to stop rambling now because this is getting long. Much longer than I expected. I hope things get better for you.
Avanthal Lore | Vantha | Avanthal | Morwen ~-----------------------------------------------~ When I was just a kitten, They said I'd be a gem. But now that I'm a Cheshire Cat, It's odd how odd I am...
Following foresty flowery footsteps While falling, found myself a flour sac. Can't keep coming clean, I'll die diligently, For Death does His duty. For forty years, I have fallen. Forty four, perhaps; I've lost track of time. But my life is worthless, so it seems, Worth no more than a penny and a dime. Oh mother, why do you scream at me like this? I'll find a flower and set it on your bedside table, And kneel beside and pray to be able-- Able to love and able to live For, my God! we have a lot of flour in this house.
I wrote that a few days ago when I was half-asleep. Meh. Anyway, I think I might post here too often. I don't know. Anyway, I stayed home from school today because I don't feel well~ Probably from the lack of sleep. Sleep is hard to come by these day. In fact, I think I'll go lie down now.
I used to play in a contemporary gothic horror game set in the Louisiana bayou... I had this young werewolf orphan kid who was going to start a pack and all only I broke the game (I had already won, so why leave it for other people to enjoy?). Anyway, his theme song was a Joanna Newsom song.
We should shine a light on A light on And the book of right-on's right on It was right on
I killed my dinner with karate Kick 'em in the face, taste the body Shallow work is the work that I do
Do you want to sit at my table? My fighting fame is fabled And fortune finds me fit and able
And you do say That you do pray And you say That you're okay
Do you want to run with my pack? Do you want to ride on my back? Pray that what you lack does not distract
And even when you run through my mind Something else is in front, oh, you're behind And I don't have to remind you To stick with your kind
And you do say That you do pray And you say That you're okay
And even when you touch my face You know your place And even when you touch my face You know your place
And we should shine a light on A light on And the book of right-on's right on It was right on
Just thought I'd share with my fellow lover of Joanna.
by Harper on September 11th, 2011, 5:05 am 
