Tock's Scrapbook - Eccentric Ramblings

[Minerva Agatha Zipporah]

Progressing as a Writer Improvement, generally speaking, is something that will come with time and practice. But often it's something we aren't aware of as it's happening. Just like how when you're losing weight, people who see you every day might not notice for awhile. But when you bump into someone you haven't seen in weeks, the change is immediately noticeable. I know some people have told me they're more here for the roleplaying aspects than the writing aspects. If that's the case, then their progression might be more focused on things like character development, interaction with others, and so forth. And while those things are part of what I try to develop here, I also have a definite focus on the writing process itself. I consider the posts I write here to be practice for fiction writing. I'm going to college for a degree in Writing Arts, and I hope (one day, who knows) to be a professional writer. Whether it be in publishing my own fiction, or in writing for a magazine, journal, or some other forum. Based on this, I tend to analyze certain aspects of my writing. Things I think I'm good at, things I think I'm bad at. And whether I've improved in some areas. I think some of my strengths are deep character development, strong characterization, portrayal of emotions, dialogue, action, and attention to detail. I think some of my weaknesses are lack of describing the setting or a character's appearance (the things I describe, I have good attention to detail, but often I don't describe enough of what's around a character), losing the flow of the story when bogged down in technical details (ie, I might write a very technically accurate blacksmithing scene, but feel the story becomes uninteresting), and a lack of vivid imagery and use of simile and metaphor (for example, when I threaded with Aello, she included lots of prose and beautiful descriptions that painted a poetic scene, which is an area I feel my own writing lacking in). There are some times I bring out those areas I'm lacking in, when I'm specifically focused on them. For example Tock's Coma Dream is a post that I think makes strong use of some of the things I just said I was lacking. But I don't feel it comes out in my writing often enough. On the other hand, I definitely think I've made improvements over the past months. One particular area is in the use of my Animation magic. From the beginning, it's been something I felt I needed to develop into a certain style. There were very very few prior Animators on the site (most of my searching only found people who started with the magic in their Starting Package, but then never used it. I've only been able to find one or two examples of Animation actually being used in a thread prior to when I started Tock). As I've progressed with the magic, I've changed my techniques a bit, and started including some things I didn't used to. Part of this has come from input from ST graders, some from reading, re-reading, and re-re-reading the Lore every time I Animate something, in order to work on improving. And part of it has simply come from my own ideas evolving over time. My most recent attempt at Animation was, in-character, an utter failure. But as a writer, I felt I did a good job with it. Jumping past the other aspects of that thread (which involved Tock doing some very very bad things to people who didn't deserve it), and focusing just on the Animation process itself, I wrote about 2300 words. I went into a lot of deep detail about every memory Tock was transferring, and the process of how she was building concepts off each other, tying the different teaching together into a more cohesive whole (setting aside the fact that the Animation itself was, in the end, a broken failure). I even feel like I could have gone into more detail here, except that it was written to BE a failure, for the sake of the story. By comparison, there's one of the first "competent level" Automatons I made, back in June. While the overall assembly and construction in that thread was a good 2200 words, the Animation process itself was only 900. Now, length by itself isn't always important. If the writing is good and the detail is strong, a shorter work can be just fine. But I don't feel that's the case here. I re-read that post today, as I often do with my Automatons to remind myself all the details I put into them. I was very dissatisfied with it. I don't think I put enough detail into the programming. I don't think I spent enough time describing exactly what Tock was teaching him. Of course, "Eyes" (as I named the Automaton in my oft-scoffed naming style), while 'Competent' in his programming level, is a very simple device. All he is really designed to do is move his lenses into place, and hold stuff for Tock. Because he's so simple, he doesn't really NEED a lot, compared to say, Handy. But even then, when I look back on Eyes' creation, I feel like I could have done better. I feel like I could have gone into more detail, and "taught him more". I'm planning another Automaton soon in fall. And I'm planning to put a great deal more detail into this one. I won't feel satisfied with my progression as a writer or an Animator unless I improve on my previous efforts. I've learned a lot since I started (I refuse to link the VERY first Animation thread I did because I feel it is utter crap). And I feel I need to constantly work on improvement, learn from past mistakes, and ensure each new creation is better than the last.

[Minerva Agatha Zipporah]

I'm in a class now called "Writing, Research, and Technology." A lot of it is about using new technology in creative ways and keeping up with the advances of the current times.

We watched this video that I think anyone involved in creative works should view. It's about the changes in the way modern society creates and expresses creativity, and how copyright laws haven't been changed or adapted to account for how different shared media is in the internet age (such as people making amateur videos like this one, that are technically copyright violations, but with are amateur nonprofit works made for pure fun).

Here is the video, which was recorded at a conference called "TED: Ideas worth spreading."

And here is a short blurb from their web site about the guy who is speaking: "Larry Lessig, the Net’s most celebrated lawyer, cites John Philip Sousa, celestial copyrights and the "ASCAP cartel" in his argument for reviving our creative culture.

Harvard professor Larry Lessig is one of our foremost authorities on copyright issues, with a vision for reconciling creative freedom with marketplace competition."

I hope others find this as insightful as I did.

[Minerva Agatha Zipporah]

Stay off the drugs...

Some people do just insane, stupid, awful things...

[Minerva Agatha Zipporah]

Say Hello to the culture of the digital age:



Everyone is now a media outlet. Youtube produces more amateur works in a week than Hollywood produces in a year. And many of them get more views than the number of people who go to the movies to see a blockbuster film.

[Minerva Agatha Zipporah]

Feeling Free to Express Oneself We live in a world with a lot of prejudice. No matter how far we come, no matter how much we grow, there is still hate in the world. There are still people that don't think everyone deserves the same rights as others. Most predominant in my mind about that would be a topic like gay marriage, which I know is currently a big issue not only in the United States, but in Australia and surely other places as well. Personally I'm of the opinion that any adult should be able to marry any other adult, regardless of sex or gender (which are two different things: sex is our physical body, gender is the role we play in society as either masculine, feminine, or something else). A lot of people don't agree with this. And I think that's sad. Because those same people wouldn't accept it if someone told THEM they weren't allowed to marry the person they love. But beyond matters of prejudice and law, there is the question of being open with who you are. "Coming out" is the term when it applies to gays and lesbians being open with their sexual orientation. But there's a lot more to it than just sex or sexual orientation. In real life, I'm male and heterosexual. But does that define me as a whole person? No. Our definitions and roles in society are a lot more complex. I'm in a class right now at Rowan University which is all about Communicating Gender. How we define it, understand it, and explore it. And there is a lot more in the world than just male or female, gay or straight. There are people that are born with one kind of body but in their hearts know they are something else. There are even people who have a certain type of external reproductive organs, but their DNA says they're the opposite. Because it's a rarity (in the United States, about 98% of the population is heterosexual and heteronormal (as in, either male or female rather than a hermaphrodite or something else). Most people polled think the LGBT community is more like 25%, but they only represent about 2% of the country), a lot of people don't understand it. And a lot of people aren't willing to express who they are for fear of being ridiculed. It takes a lot of bravery to express that one is gay or lesbian. You invite a lot of potential hate and misunderstanding because you're not "normal". It must also take a lot of bravery to express other aspects of oneself, such as physical differences, gender differences, and the like. For example there was a woman in the olympics a few years ago who was competing as a woman but had male DNA. I can't imagine the difficulty of having such a thing portrayed in the media, the potential embarrassment it might cause someone to have everyone questioning who you are. And thus people who come out with such things willingly, and express them openly, must have a lot of courage. I wish that I could say I have that kind of courage.

[Montaine]

I can't even begin to imagine how it must feel to be looked down upon for your sexuality or for being transgendered. I live in the UK, which is fairly cool in most respects on this sort of thing, and am of a generation where it isn't that big of a deal. Not only that but I grew up with two atheist parents, four atheist grandparents and one of them is in her eighties and is still working as a counsellor for the transgendered. We've gone to her birthday parties on and off since as long as I can remember and most of the guests were transgendered in some form or another, so it was always just another way of being for me.

What a lot of people don't understand is that sex and gender are different. You put it very well. The gender is the state of the mind, male or female. The sex is the state of the body, male or female. In most people (the cisgendered) the two match up. I'm male gendered and male sexed, I am cisgendered. In some, a small percentage, they are born with a gender that doesn't match their sex. This is obviously deeply traumatic. If I had a woman's body, I know I couldn't stand it, girls being icky and having cooties and all that. So, to cure gender dysphoria, you must make the two match. It is obviously impossible to alter gender, it being a facet of the mind, and even if it were possible that would be a gross act of personality altering, changing the very fundamental core of a person. Surgery is easy enough, however. People get cosmetic surgery all the time, without devastating conditions like gender dysphoria. How could anyone be against that?

I know, I know. Some people are. But they're idiots.

On the subject of homosexuality, your estimates are somewhat conservative from what I've heard. I think the British government runs on the estimate of 6%, and it is generally thought of as somewhere between 2% and 10%. Naturally it wouldn't matter if it was 0.1%.

I've been incredibly lucky. I know that. I've never wittingly met a homophobic person in my life, I was never aware of any homophobic bullying occurring in my school. Despite that, it was horrible coming out. Ridiculous feeling scared in hindsight, but it wasn't fear of being rejected for being gay, but fear that people would think I had lied to them. A fear made, if anything, worse by the fact that none of them obviously would have a problem with it. I had to use extremely convoluted methods to get my point across, just to ease myself into it. But I wasn't courageous, I was a coward leaving it so long when I had nothing to fear. The courageous are those who really have something to fear. Those who get disowned by their parents in the name of their God. Those who get sent to camps to be guilted into hiding an immutable facet of their beings. Those who are hanged. I wouldn't have the bravery to do anything in their circumstances.

All I can say is, if someone expresses homophobic or transphobic views, I would thank you to challenge them. Even if it affects your relationship with that person in a negative way, be brave for those I mentioned, be brave and challenge people. Else the world will never change.

[Minerva Agatha Zipporah]

I'm glad that your experiences have been on the positive side. I haven't known anyone personally who had traumatic experiences in coming out (but then, I'm only known about four or five openly homosexual people in my life). But I've read plenty of negative accounts online of people who, like you said, can be disowned by their parents and such.

As for the statistics, I was quoting from this site. While they only had a certain sample size, it seems reputable enough. They cited their sources from an Institute at UCLA:

Drawing on information from four recent national and two state-level population-based surveys, the analyses suggest that there are more than 8 million adults in the US who are lesbian, gay, or bisexual, comprising 3.5% of the adult population. There are also nearly 700,000 transgender individuals in the US. In total, the study suggests that approximately 9 million Americans – roughly the population of New Jersey – identify as LGBT. Key findings from the study include among adults who identify as lesbian, gay, or bisexual, bisexuals comprise a slight majority (1.8% compared to 1.7% who identify as lesbian or gay); women are substantially more likely than men to identify as bisexual; estimates of those who report any lifetime same-sex sexual behavior and any same-sex sexual attraction are substantially higher than estimates of those who identify as lesbian, gay, or bisexual. An estimated 19 million Americans (8.2%) report that they have engaged in same-sex sexual behavior and nearly 25.6 million Americans (11%) acknowledge at least some same-sex sexual attraction.

So there's a range of numbers there. The under 2% is simply those who are gay rather than bisexual, and doesn't count people who "report any lifetime same-sex sexual behavior" which I guess could count people who just experimented in college, etc.

As for bravery, I think I'd be brave enough to speak out against someone expressing prejudiced views. But there is a difference between calling someone out for their general negativity as opposed to expressing my own self and potentially drawing negativity onto me. For example, it would be one thing to come to the defense of an openly gay friend, offer him support, and encourage people to be more accepting of him. But it'd be something else entirely (were I gay) for me to come out and risk being the one who needed defending.

In a way (albeit on a very different level) it's like the difference between protesting a legal injustice, versus actually going out and trying to get the law changed. Anyone can believe something is right, but the real praise go to those who will actually go out and make a difference. I've never done that... never made a difference.

[Pauk]

Americans didn't have much at a chance at winning the American Revolution until Baron Von Steuben taught them how to fight, and from what I learned in American History class, he was gay.

now I feel bad for having such a tiny post for this topic.

[Minerva Agatha Zipporah]

That is awesome. I had never heard that before. I'm going to share this information with my classmates. Thank you for bringing this up.

[Montaine]

So was Alan Turing, the poor bastard, without whom we wouldn't have cracked the enigma code, without whom we wouldn't have modern personal computers. Convicted of homosexuality he was chemically castrated, grew breasts and killed himself.