[FlashBack]A Desperate Plea (Gossamer please)

[Niall Raghnall]

Wysar had fore warned him. The dark twin was just that ... dark. His anger and raged burned as he spoke to Niall. The hard part was that Niall could feel it and fueled his own anger. He knew that he had to control it somehow. At least knowing the source of the rage allowed him the opportunity to control himself. That was it! He did not need to control or push away his twin; he simply did not need to allow his own rage to match that of his dark brother.

Wysar looked for that place of inner peace within himself. That section of his mind that helped him to think clearly in battle; that are that allowed him to make precise decisions in a split second's notice. This was not a combat situation, but the same methods could still work in this scenario. Quickly Niall controlled his own anger and did not fixate on the source, his dark twin.

"My brother, I am who I am. How I am raised may alter when I learn, but in the end I will learn what it necessary. I am sorry in how this has effected you." He paused to let his words sink in. An apology was meant to heal the one who offended, not the offender. Forgiveness was meant to heal the one offended. Iwyn could chose not to forgive, but it would be something that would effect him;, not Niall. Niall removed any guilt that he could have carried the moment he said he was genuinely sorry.

"I accept your offer to help me ... us ... better our combat skills. I only ride out of necessity, not combat. I am a scout; I prefer my feet. I will drink two ales in your name, but I do not partake in wenches. And I would LOVE to take a bath when this mess is all over with." He looked back into the mirror and looked to Iwyn as if taking a bit directly from the center of the apple ... and enjoying it.

[Gossamer]

Iwyn wasn't quiet long.

"You... you you you you... you apologize, and yet you still dictate what you will do with our body. Niall. Understand this. It is OUR body, not yours. If I want an ale, I will damn well drink one. You do not need to drink two, one for me. It does not work that way, brother. You have your time. I have my time. I will partake of a wench if it suits me, though you are welcome to choose not too. I forgive you for being an idiot, because I understand it is the way you were raised - or rather neglected. But there are going to be rules, Niall. If there are not rules, then you will rapidly loose control and perhaps your mind in fighitng this battle - because it is a battle that there is no escape from, no rest from, nothing but pure motivation on my part to wage. I will have time to walk around in my skin and not take the back seat from you all the time. You understand that is the secret right? If you want to get along with me, you don't 'control' me by suppression, you accept me by releasing me from time to time so I can live as you do Niall. Otherwise, you will not live long. I can and will sabotage your entire life - even now a squire lies near fatally wounded because my rage boiled over and swept you up in it. I am not ... a monster by saying this. Nor am I threatening you... I'm just telling you the truth, Niall. It is the reality of our existence. It is all there is." He said, meeting his light brothers eyes in the mirror. There was truth there, absolute and utter truth.

"Do you think Father..." And he meant father in the sense of Wysar, not in the sense of the man Niall just learned lost his life. "Would allow us to exist otherwise? We are not monsters. We are the product of dark and light. I am my mother's son just as you are your fathers. This is the hardest truth you will have to perhaps learn, Niall. For sharing... isn't easy to begin with, especially not sharing something as intimate as a body." The dark brother said, meeting Nialls eyes with his own.

[Niall Raghnall]

"You chose to insult me because of 'the way I was raised' and yet in the next breath talk about father 'allowing us to exist otherwise'. Open your eyes! Father raised me how I am not the humans. He raised me in the belief system of the knighthood, about honor and discipline. You know this. You know every aspect of me as you claim. You know damn well that to allow rage to take control of me and harm others goes against the very principle of the knights. So when you tell me you are there speaking to me, you only have spoken to me out of anger and rage ... the very fabric against the knighthood.

In order to follow the desires of our father, do you think I would go against his upbringing and let rage win! Without him telling me that we both existed and teaching me of who we are and how we work, I had no choice but try to please our dad and push you away. Then you get angry with me by going to the father our our people because i needed to know something about what was happening .... because both our father and granfather chose not to tell me anything!

Get mad at the people who controlled the way I acted, and stop getting angry with me. I only aim to bring honor to our father. Would you not wish to do the same? I think you would!"

Niall did allow the words Iwyn spoke to sink in though. He did not know what to expect from this. They had only just met. Iwyn acted as if Niall should just accept life from here forward sharing the body like it was a natural thing. Niall had been in control of his life from birth to this very moment. To have his world turned upside down in the blink of an eye was going to take time to adapt to. Accepting this moment as fact and walking away with a smile was something no person, Akalak human or otherwise, could do without full thought and consideration of the events both past and future. This would have a major impact on how he would act forever.

On the other hand he could understand the excitement and frustration that Iwyn was going through. To finally be recognized is something he had been wanting forever instead of being treated as a dark emotion to push aside. Now that he was recognized, he had a desire to live life on a fuller scale in hopes of doing things he could never do before. That had to be frustrating. But it had to be in Iwyn to try and understand Niall's position as well. to think you are fully in control and then find out you share time in one body with another ... only days after losing his father and grandfather ... was devestating news. Patience would be required on both sides for this to work.

By Wysar's words also echoed inside of Niall before he introduced him to his dark half, 'You must learn his name, and to understand him better, you must get to know him. For without understanding, there can be no controlling him'. Wysar did not tell him the two would share equal time. He stated that Niall had to learn to understand his dark brother to control the situations in their life. Yes, Iwyn needed to be freed in order to handle those situations Niall would not find tasteful as Wysar had explained, but Iwyn did not need to be released to do as he pleased for their would be consequences in those dark actions as well. This was not going to be easy.

"Yes I am my father's son; the product of the desires of Wysar. Akalak are men, not women. I understand this. We desire the will of the true father of our people. We both share this body, but I maintain the discipline according to Wysar to determine who handles the body at any given moment, and this is the hardest truth you must face, my dark brother. I am not a cruel person. Now that I know you, both who and what you are, I have a love for you as any sibling would. You will never be put in a box and hidden again. But your rage and aggression could place us in a prison or worse, a noose. This I will not allow. There is a reason you are not revealed often into the world, Akajia is the mistress of dark secrets and your bond is to your mother as you stated a second ago."

[Gossamer]

Iwyn started to speak a dozen times. He was not used to listening when he finally had the ability to speak for himself. But he stood, staring at his own form in the mirror, and listening to Niall, letting him have his say. For the truth was, he understood the need to be heard all to well. He understood it with a passion and an intimacy that was unlike any other understanding in the world. And as for a start, they were definitely making one today. Nialls life hadn't been an easy one. The truth was, even Iwyn perhaps knew more about being a true akalak than his light brother. But he could see... physically see... the understanding dawning in the light in Niall's eyes. His eyes.

They were, in many ways, one in the same.

When Niall paused, Iwyn spoke out softly, his voice far calmer and not tinged with the sharpness of cruelty. "No, Niall. I do not wish the same. I am sorry, truly I am, but our wishes are no where near the same. I do not wish honor for an akalak who has gone into the pyre. How can I? Honor is not granted by another. It is earned for oneself. You cannot bring honor to a dead man. You can only bring honor to yourself through your actions. They are gone, Niall. And as tragic as it is, you stand on your own two feet now - we both do. And it is the shadow our body casts that will cause us to be judged, nothing more. They will not look upon you and see our fathers or grandfathers. They will only look upon you and see the blood on your hands. Passed up for promotion time and time again... that is going to be our lot in life Niall, if we play it your way and play it safe." Iwyn always felt there was more to life, and indeed if being a syliran knight was Niall's dream then they needed to do it with style and represent their race to its very fullest.

"You have the patience of a man with two hundred years of life. We have time to figure this all out together, Niall. But I must insist that we live a life of shared values, of shared time, and of equality. Everything I have said to you about striking a balance is true. If you don't or reserve all the decision making to yourself, then we will have problems that you will not be able to pull out of. You need me Niall. I know things and see things you miss. Some of those things are difficult to understand. But you have to trust me, and I know that is an impossibility right now. But it is indeed what will have to eventually happen. If we do not become brothers in truth, we will become enemies in fact." Iwyn said, his voice rough with feeling, as he swallowed and stared at Niall in the mirror. The warrior in the mirror shifted, showing off the sleek lines of his heavily muscled body. He leaned slightly back, relaxed, and studied his own reflection in the mirror.

"I need you to tell me something Niall. I need for you to recognize and understand that we are both equal. I know it will take time. I know that your trust in me won't come easily or without a price. But I need for you to tell me you understand that it will eventually come down to this. I won't settle for us being less than the best, and for that to happen, we need to strike a perfect balance. It is what we were meant to do. So say it, Niall, acknowledge it." He waited quietly studying Niall in the mirror. No matter what Niall said, no matter how he reacted, Iwyn followed up with one last thing.

"The first truth you need to understand, my brother, is that our fathers and grandfathers were murdered. There was no skirmish that took their lives. But your blind trust and faith in the people here - and ultimately your grief - drove you to turn a blind eye. There was nothing to put into their pyre. No armor, no body, not even a sword. And yet we got their Lakans back. Why? Because if we hadn't, we wouldn't have rested until they were recovered. Yet you did not do the same for their bodies. Why? Ask yourself that. You don't have any clue do you? Not really. Not instinct. Not intuition. It is because I noticed their hesitation, their confusion, and their difficulty in passing you the Lakan. The blade knows the truth. Any follower of Eyris or perhaps a Konti of some note could be able to tell us what happened in those last moments when they were wearing their Lakan... and how they perished... if they even did." Iwyn said thoughtfully, far calmer now than the time before. It helped, considerably, that Niall was supporting him... talking to him... listening.

It helped a whole lot. He only hoped he could get him to see the truth.