by Gossamer on November 2nd, 2009, 9:31 am
Iwyn started to speak a dozen times. He was not used to listening when he finally had the ability to speak for himself. But he stood, staring at his own form in the mirror, and listening to Niall, letting him have his say. For the truth was, he understood the need to be heard all to well. He understood it with a passion and an intimacy that was unlike any other understanding in the world. And as for a start, they were definitely making one today. Nialls life hadn't been an easy one. The truth was, even Iwyn perhaps knew more about being a true akalak than his light brother. But he could see... physically see... the understanding dawning in the light in Niall's eyes. His eyes.
They were, in many ways, one in the same.
When Niall paused, Iwyn spoke out softly, his voice far calmer and not tinged with the sharpness of cruelty. "No, Niall. I do not wish the same. I am sorry, truly I am, but our wishes are no where near the same. I do not wish honor for an akalak who has gone into the pyre. How can I? Honor is not granted by another. It is earned for oneself. You cannot bring honor to a dead man. You can only bring honor to yourself through your actions. They are gone, Niall. And as tragic as it is, you stand on your own two feet now - we both do. And it is the shadow our body casts that will cause us to be judged, nothing more. They will not look upon you and see our fathers or grandfathers. They will only look upon you and see the blood on your hands. Passed up for promotion time and time again... that is going to be our lot in life Niall, if we play it your way and play it safe." Iwyn always felt there was more to life, and indeed if being a syliran knight was Niall's dream then they needed to do it with style and represent their race to its very fullest.
"You have the patience of a man with two hundred years of life. We have time to figure this all out together, Niall. But I must insist that we live a life of shared values, of shared time, and of equality. Everything I have said to you about striking a balance is true. If you don't or reserve all the decision making to yourself, then we will have problems that you will not be able to pull out of. You need me Niall. I know things and see things you miss. Some of those things are difficult to understand. But you have to trust me, and I know that is an impossibility right now. But it is indeed what will have to eventually happen. If we do not become brothers in truth, we will become enemies in fact." Iwyn said, his voice rough with feeling, as he swallowed and stared at Niall in the mirror. The warrior in the mirror shifted, showing off the sleek lines of his heavily muscled body. He leaned slightly back, relaxed, and studied his own reflection in the mirror.
"I need you to tell me something Niall. I need for you to recognize and understand that we are both equal. I know it will take time. I know that your trust in me won't come easily or without a price. But I need for you to tell me you understand that it will eventually come down to this. I won't settle for us being less than the best, and for that to happen, we need to strike a perfect balance. It is what we were meant to do. So say it, Niall, acknowledge it." He waited quietly studying Niall in the mirror. No matter what Niall said, no matter how he reacted, Iwyn followed up with one last thing.
"The first truth you need to understand, my brother, is that our fathers and grandfathers were murdered. There was no skirmish that took their lives. But your blind trust and faith in the people here - and ultimately your grief - drove you to turn a blind eye. There was nothing to put into their pyre. No armor, no body, not even a sword. And yet we got their Lakans back. Why? Because if we hadn't, we wouldn't have rested until they were recovered. Yet you did not do the same for their bodies. Why? Ask yourself that. You don't have any clue do you? Not really. Not instinct. Not intuition. It is because I noticed their hesitation, their confusion, and their difficulty in passing you the Lakan. The blade knows the truth. Any follower of Eyris or perhaps a Konti of some note could be able to tell us what happened in those last moments when they were wearing their Lakan... and how they perished... if they even did." Iwyn said thoughtfully, far calmer now than the time before. It helped, considerably, that Niall was supporting him... talking to him... listening.
It helped a whole lot. He only hoped he could get him to see the truth.