First Contact (Part 3)

by **Zhol** on May 5th, 2015, 2:08 am

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What has happened in the past.

That moment again. That ruinous event that had almost spelt the end of them even knowing each other. It was agonising to think that one mistake, one foolish reaction, one poor choice of words had almost devastated the idea of them ever even talking again, let alone bringing about the impossible perfect dream that had somehow become Zhol's reality. That guilt twisted in his gut, the same as it did every time they were here at the baths. His eyes were drawn to the specific pool where it had happened; another uncomfortable stab in his emotions.

I need to show that for you.

That was it, wasn't it? That was the underlying life lesson beneath all of this. Not just literally showing each other how they looked, how they felt, and how they trusted; but gestures too, of love, affection, and everything else; showing, not just telling. Tangible, irrefutable proof. His eyes lingered on the offending pool.

"Come with me."

The words came out like a request, but Zhol didn't give her much of a choice. Turning back to Khara, he bent down and scooped her off her feet, not facing his body this time but draped across his arms, held aloft above the pool. With confident strides he began to wade through the water, stepping down from one pool to the next, before setting her gently down back on her feet. He stood in front of her, facing her, contemplating the memory that was burned into his mind, facing the right way, looking at her the right way.

"Do you remember what you said, the first time?" His hand gently brushed against her cheek, but he pulled it away, forcing it to his side. He hadn't done that, not then. It had to be the same, as perfectly the same, if there was any chance of overwriting that memory with this. "Say it to me again," he asked, "So that I can answer the right way this time."

by **Khara** on May 5th, 2015, 2:25 am

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Khara would almost swear that her heart had stopped when Zhol had picked her up. Even as her feet found the bottom of the deeper pool she still felt far more weightless than the warm water was giving her any impression of. Her eyes had closed for a fraction of an instant as his hand had brushed against her cheek, trying to will all her focus on the feeling rather than what he asked of her. She didn't want to remember what she had said, didn't want to try and recall where things had gone so horribly wrong; he had asked though, and only for that reason did she try.

Her eyes looked down and away, trying not to linger on the shapes below the water or the memory of her frantic attempts at explaining, at how all she had wanted was to say what she really needed to and yet couldn't bring herself to, at how with two words Zhol had managed to- No. She wasn't going to think about it. Khara had promised herself that as soon as the truth had been spoken between them. There was no blame, no hurt, no lingering sense of what had happened. True, it gave way to allowing her to realize just how broken she had been to start with, how the gentlest of pushes had been more than enough to entirely crumple the careful piecing back together that Zhol had done during Fall. It felt like her throat was starting to tighten in on itself and Khara forced herself to tear her thoughts away from it all and softly eased herself back towards what Zhol had requested and more importantly his promise of a different answer.

"I..." It felt harder to say it now than it had then and she winced as the words left her. "I said that I wished... that I wished that the person who... but not like..."

Each fresh attempt at continuing had to be halted and Khara forced her eyes shut for a moment and focused on taking one long breath after another in some effort to calm whatever storm was trying to eddy about in her mind. Slowly she opened her eyes again and looked back to Zhol, not entirely managing to rid herself of the mournful feeling that came with realizing that she would have to repeat the words that had endlessly looped in her mind. "I said, 'I wish it had been you.'"

A stuttered breath was drawn in and before Zhol could respond she continued. "And you asked me why and I said... I said a lot of things. A lot of becauses and none of them were the right. I wanted to say because you... you were the person I had wanted to... before he even... and… and I wanted to say it was because I loved you but I was too scared to say it. I should have said it. I just... I was so... because of what happened that... that you would not want… me."

The urge to throw herself into his arms came and it was only the memory of what happened the last time they had first been in this bath together that kept her to herself, her shoulders moving first as her arms began to draw around herself.

"Nari" | "Common" | "Pavi"

by **Zhol** on May 5th, 2015, 2:45 am

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Zhol hadn't needed the repetition: the words that she had said had played over and over in his mind, the entire moment revisited in perfect detail by a mind desperate to alter his response: desperate to say anything to respond to her confession of affection other than I can't. It was wrong to dwell on the past, supposedly; wrong to dwell on that which couldn't be fixed; but Zhol couldn't escape it. When he looked back on his life, there was so much happiness and joy, but towering over it were the periodic instances where his actions had almost destroyed it all.

Not with this, though. He could repair this. He could fix this.

"I wish I had been, too."

He took a step closer, his fingertips gently trailing up and down one of Khara's bare arms. "I wish that I could have been there to try and stop it. If I had that power, it is what I would change. But... I also wish that it had been me, before him. Not because there is something wrong with you now but... because of what you said to me. That I would have been gentle. That I would have been kind. That I would not have hurt you. I know that I can still be these things; I will still be these things when we are together. But I wish I could take away the memories of him, so that us could be all that you remember."

Hesitation made his eyes want to glance away, but he wouldn't let them; he kept his gaze on her, gently but intently peering into her eyes. There was so much that he could say, but he had done so before; she had heard him say those things before. To overwrite her memories of their first bath, to make it so that each time her mind wandered into such thoughts, a bright new memory would take her by the hand and lead her mind to much happier places.

Slowly his hand slid down her arm, gently taking hold of her fingers, his touch brushing across them lightly as he spoke. "When I came to Wind Reach, I had nothing. I had left Endrykas as a no one, with no life, no talent, no windmarks, no family. I arrived at the gates of Wind Reach after seasons of travel with almost nothing to my name. What had driven me forward, what pulled me up from every stumble, dragged me through every obstacle, forced me from my bedroll each morning, was the faint, flickering hope that there was something waiting for me in Wind Reach: something that would give my life meaning, and purpose."

His eyes glanced down at Khara's hand for just a moment. "It took me three seasons, but I finally found it. I found you."

A timid smile crept onto his lips. "I do not normally believe that the gods have any interest in me: I am too small, and too insignificant. You are proof to me that perhaps they do though, because there is no way that we stumbled into each other's lives by chance; not unless the hand of fate was involved. We may not have met until a year ago, but I feel as if my soul has known you for my entire life, and has been waiting for us to be together again. You are my all, Khara; and all of me is yours."

by **Khara** on May 5th, 2015, 3:08 am

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She didn't know what to say as Zhol had put words to things she couldn't quite put her finger on but felt were right the second he said it. Khara had seen others in Wind Reach that seemed close, holding hands or doing other things; they seemed happy but it was a happiness that Khara wasn't entirely sure she was ever going to achieve so she had convinced herself that she entirely didn't want it. Then she had met Zhol and could barely keep herself away from him, the more she learned the more she longed to spend time with him, to earn every scrap of knowledge she could about him. Sure, there had been Yasihood crushes and men she had found attractive, but Zhol had been different. It wasn't that she had just wanted to be around him, Khara had needed it; needed him.

The concept of past lives and fate and such things weren't a total loss to her, but Khara had never really had a reason to believe that such a thing was true. Not until now, and while she was almost certain it was simply her wishing so hard to believe what Zhol had suggested to be true, there wasn't any harm in thinking that maybe, just maybe such a thing was possible.

That didn't help with coming up with a response, coming up with some way to express everything and the thought of once more stumbling over words in this very place was more terrifying than she could bear. There was something else she could do though, and while it had gone painfully wrong the first time, this was anything but that. Zhol had sought to fix it, and so far it had been perfect. There really was only one more thing to do.

Another small step forward was taken before her arms quickly slid across Zhol's shoulders as she surged forward and hugged herself to him, using the pool's water to give her a bit of leverage she wouldn't have normally had for such a move otherwise. Her forehead rested against his for a moment, words considered once more even as she knew they were already entirely unnecessary. A final moment of hesitation was taken before she brought her lips to his in a kiss that started off as gentle and timid she always felt but soon gained in passion and confidence.

"Nari" | "Common" | "Pavi"

by **Zhol** on May 5th, 2015, 5:53 pm

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Zhol caught her in his arms, wrestling with the unenviable struggle of trying to tame his smile enough to stop it preventing him from continuing to kiss her. "I love you," he whispered, sneaking the words out between his lips' unrelenting urges to brush against hers, uttered not just in Common but in every language and permutation his mind could fumble across.

He felt her slip, the silk softness of her skin sliding across his body, and for a moment he considered letting it continue, letting the parts of her that pressed against him continue to move across his chest. Reflex kicked in though, desperation not to let her be gone from his arms so soon driving his actions. His arms slid down her body, following the shape of her hips, guiding her thighs so that her legs hitched themselves around his body. More instinct, and his hands slid backwards up the soft skin of her legs, seeking out the most logical place to support Khara's negligible weight. She seemed to understand on instinct, her legs wrapping their way around his body, her arms hitching around his neck the way they always did, pulling Khara closer and closer against him.

His lips continued to seek out hers with unrepentant eagerness and passion, heavy breaths causing the rise and swell of his chest to brush against Khara's. Then realisation suddenly dawned, and he prised his lips away, colour flooding his face as he realised exactly where his hands were, too paralysed with alarm to make them move in the slightest. More red flushed to his face as he truly understood the situation they were in, only now comprehending the way that Khara's thighs nestled against his waist, and how little stood between them and somewhere else he would much rather they be. Thoughts of how effortless it would be to move those last few inches, how easy it would be to make it seem like an accident, how he'd settle for just one fleeting, split second contact -

His heart pounded in his chest like a stampede of horses. His eyes tried to fall away, but didn't escape far, too mesmerised by the sight of Khara's lips, too painfully desperate to do anything but stop. "I- I-" he struggled out, wrenching his eyes back to Khara's gaze, forcing himself to look into the soul whose affection he was so unthinkingly taking advantage of. "I'm sorry, I- I should have... shouldn't have... not without asking, I -"

by **Khara** on May 6th, 2015, 3:44 am

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A soft shush left her before Khara even realized the thought to do so had formed. As if to fully prevent him from speaking she kissed him again, one arm stayed draped around his shoulders as the other moved so her hand could gently run up the back of his neck into his hair. One kiss turned into several, each slower than the last, more drawn out, and yet at the same time more gentle. When she finally managed to convince herself to stop Khara let out a small sigh that seemed the final piece in letting all the tension she had been holding in her shoulders and the rest of her body drain away. It was unexpected how they had ended up, but she felt entirely peaceful.

At first she didn't trust herself to say anything, her mind filled with elation and just a hint of worry. The more negative thoughts that sometimes plagued her were blissfully absent. When Khara finally found the words she wanted she spoke barely above a whisper, the normal chirps and trills of her far more familiar language softened. "No apologies. Not for this, not now. I know you will always ask, and you will never take anything without permission. But, just like you said that you are mine, I feel the same way."

It probably wasn't exactly what Zhol wanted her to say, or maybe it was, Khara couldn't be certain. The whole situation was different than how it often was between them. The usual hesitations were strangely absent and she couldn't tell if it was good or bad; she liked it though, and despite the entirely surprising way that he had encouraged her into his arms, to wrap around him as she was. She wasn't oblivious to the possibilities that just a few shifts in position would end with, but the concern was far from her mind. She trusted him and at that moment that was all that mattered; even the thought of where they were had fled.

Another contented sigh left her as she pulled herself tighter against him as her head moved to the side before coming to rest against his shoulder. "I told you before, I like being close to you."

"Nari" | "Common" | "Pavi"

by **Zhol** on May 13th, 2015, 12:54 am

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Zhol's eyes closed, his head leaning gently against hers. Every day, he and Khara shared a moment that forced him to redefine his understanding of perfect; this moment was today's. And, just like every single one that had gone before it, he couldn't imagine any possible way that it could ever be usurped; and yet he knew that he would be. That was the magic of Khara, and of the way he felt about her. You heard stories, sagas, poems, songs, all telling you how wonderful it was to be in love, and you never believed it. You thought it was all exaggeration and hyperbole. Zhol certainly could. Growing up in Endrykas, where marriages were transactions, and where husbands were shared, it was hard to accept the notion of the kind of pure and exclusive romantic love that the princess tales told of. It was some wonderful impossibility, some fairytale treasure that only fearless warriors and brave heroines ever got to experience. How wrong he had been; and how glad he was to be.

"I am like also," he whispered back. His head tilted slightly, turned, just enough to place a soft kiss on the side of her jaw. His cheek gently brushed against hers, and with all his heart he wished he were an Eypharian, so that he had the extra arms needed to hold her as closely as he wanted to. More things to say, more confessions, more declarations of his affection floated through his mind, but none of them were permitted to linger; nothing allowed to break this blissful, peaceful silence.

Almost nothing. One set of words resolved in his mind, forcing themselves to be uttered in a timid voice. "Promise me," he breathed, no doubt in his voice that this was a vitally important plea, "That if I do anything... if you ever feel... if you ever stop wanting? Promise me you will say, so that I know to stop doing."

A twist of something in his gut; a sinking feeling; a guilty feeling.

"Because now that I have seen you, now that I have felt you this close... I do not know that I will be able to stop my eyes and my hands from wanting to again."

by **Khara** on May 13th, 2015, 1:30 am

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Another deep breath left her as she felt herself further relax in Zhol's hold, the breath she had been holding in to keep the skin of her chest from fully pressing against his was released. It was silly in a way to think that the baths made everything so much different. It wasn't even that being this close without clothing was new, but somehow it all still managed to feel different. Maybe it was because they weren't exactly some place private, that they were somewhere anyone could see them. The odds of such a thing happening at such a late hour were very slim though, it wasn't like she was wrapped around him in the middle of the marketplace or anything.

Does it matter if anyone sees? Her thoughts questioned. Aside from perhaps the usual discomfort she had begun to feel at being seen by anyone but Zhol and her love's own continued discomfort with such things, there really wasn't anything to it. So what if anyone saw them? So what if all of Wind Reach knew that the outsider horse boy and one of the seemingly insignificant game scouts were together; that they cared for one another so deeply that most others would simply laugh it off as some sort of folly of youth or desperation in a world where either of them could very well die the next day for various reasons. Was it so wrong?

Khara tightened her arms around him, pulling herself ever tighter against Zhol in some strange effort to remove any lingering space between them. She closed her eyes for a moment and for those fleeting moments she was very tempted to simply ask if they could go back to their room so she could let the comforting feeling entirely overtake her until they awoke the next morning. It would mean letting go now, though, and Khara wasn't entirely certain she wanted to do that. Thankfully Zhol spoke up again and shoved aside the decision for now.

She had never really expected him to ask such a thing of her though as the reason followed, she couldn't help but smile. Still, the way he had asked had enough of a serious air to it that she raised her head enough so that their eyes could meet.

"I promise. I will never lie to you about that; not by not saying a thing I need to or letting things happen that I am not comfortable with. I will always let you know exactly how I feel." A small smile worked it's way to her lips as she considered things they had said earlier. Her promise was sincere, and she could think of only one thing to add to make him aware of how much. "I respect you too much to be any other way."

"Nari" | "Common" | "Pavi"

by **Zhol** on May 13th, 2015, 1:44 am

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"If this is what respect feels like," he whispered back, cautiously liberating a hand so that he could embrace Khara even tighter, hoping that her grip around his body would be enough to stop her slipping back into the water, "I could get very used to this."

Zhol wasn't sure how long he stood there with Khara in his arms; it felt like too short an eternity, but in truth it was probably no more than a few chimes. He desperately didn't want it to end, and Khara weighed barely more than a feather, so it was no great burden to him to hold her aloft in such a way; but they were here for a reason, and sadly it was not this. His mind warred with the concept of having to let her slip away from his arms, but he knew it was necessary; and besides, the sooner their time together in the baths came to the end, the sooner they could return to his room and steal some much needed sleep curled up in each other's arms.

The voice of logic whispered at him however, a realisation of certain obstacles that lay between Khara and the floor of the baths. While true, brushing contacts had been made, both today and back in the cave, the slow slide down his body that Khara would have to do, especially with his legs positioned as they were, seemed like an accidental encounter in the making that neither of them were prepared for. He considered his options - perhaps he could ask Khara to swing her legs down first? - but that felt like too much talking, too much effort placed that he hoped she was equally reluctant to do.

He adopted the only option left open to him; taking a sudden breath he allowed himself to fall - slowly - backwards, plunging them both into the water. It was hardly a splash, hardly a shock, and yet Khara still slipped from him in surprise.

As Zhol emerged from beneath the water, he shook his head frantically, flinging the moisture from his face and hair - somewhat less satisfying than it had been back in his younger, longer-haired, Endrykas days, but still enough to send quite the spray of water in all directions. "I'm sorry," he uttered, feeling driplets and droplets of water seeping their way down his face, and tangling amongst the stubble on his jaw. An indecisive grin formed on his on his face, unsure if he should tease or make a sincere apology. "Did I get your hair wet?"

by **Khara** on May 13th, 2015, 2:06 am

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The sudden shift caught her entirely off guard and for a tick all effort was put towards keeping her head above water until she retreated back to the edge of the baths. Zhol's question was met with a splash of water as Khara pushed her hand across the surface of the bath towards him. She tried desperately to look annoyed with him but couldn't quite contain the amused smile that graced her features.

"You did that purpose like!" She accused through the grin. A small laugh broke free from her and she found a small smirk appearing on her lips in it's wake. "Not very nice, horse boy."

Her hand went up and shoved a few damp loose strands from her face that had come undone at some point during the day from the braid she had put her hair into. She let the amused smirk continue to play on her lips even as she attempted a pout. "And you did get my hair wet."

Not that she wasn't planning on doing that at some point anyway, or that her hand hadn't exactly helped matters. Often she'd take the time to dunk her head under the water or scrub some of the excess dirt from her copper strands in one of the earlier pools, but now was just as good. It would have to wait for a bit though, as she wasn't quite finished trying to plot some suitable form of revenge on her Avora lover.

Avora lover...? No, you can't call him that. It sounds... no no no. Khara wasn't sure where within her mind that had come from but it sounded all sorts of wrong to her and she tried to shake off the thought. Gods, she really needed to come up with something better to call him at times like this.

The moment could have turned awkward, her own head to blame, but thankfully the tension between the two of them had entirely dissolved earlier and so all that was left was the warm water of the bath and the lingering desire for some sort of playful interaction. Her hands rose and tugged her braided hair over her shoulder as she wound the end of it around her fingertips as she looked back to Zhol.

"I have half a mind to find out if you're ticklish or not." The playful threat left her and for once Khara actually hoped he wouldn't understand her.

This wasn't like them, but it felt good to be able to actually act like this towards someone else. She hadn't really been on equal grounds with anyone since those very first days that she had been a Yasi. Ever since then there was some sort of ongoing struggle to see who was better, even if just among her own caste. It had never been that way with Zhol, though. As soon as their first misunderstanding had been cleared up he had actively encouraged her to treat him like they were entirely equal. It was a concept she had struggled with, fought against, fought for, and finally understood. She had felt at times that she had actually managed to achieve what he asked for, but right then it felt like she wasn't trying but actually doing without any real effort at all. All Khara could hope was that Zhol noticed, or maybe him not noticing was the proper thing, that this was normal between the two of them and so there wasn't anything particular worth noting. That thought was almost as comforting as the way he had been holding her.

"Nari" | "Common" | "Pavi"

Closed First Contact (Part 3)