Solo Will Not be Afraid

[Taurina]

Afternoon of the 43rd of Fall 516

“Stop…stop it…” A voice begged sleepily, a light laugh following the words.

Fingers search for the sensitive places of the human body, their feather light touch grazing over the skin of the speaking person.

“That tickles… stop,” the voice was sleepy and trusting as the hands belonging to the person slapped the second person away lazily. The second person’s laughter rang out, a mouth being brought low and nipping at the sleepy person’s ear.

“Why ever would I do that darling?” a second voice whispered, its owner’s breath warm against the first person’s ear. The voice laughed, a smile grew over the first person’s lips.

The pair knew each other, they trusted each other. Their emotions were easily exposed the world and to those who played witness. The second person removed blanket and cloth from the first person, exposing their torso to the air. The sleepy person had not yet opened their eyes, but did shift at the new exposure to the air. Goosebumps rose, but the second person batted away the first person’s fingers as they reached for the blanket. The awake person trailed fingers down the exposed torso, the touch feather light and searching. The hands found themselves over the heart before one left to reach behind for something else. Hard metal met the fingers that wrapped around it, cold within the hand’s grasp.

“You stopped,” the sleepy voice reminded, as if wishing for the playful hands to return. There was a sudden shift in the air, a profound sadness entered it. Brows knitted together in confusion while the brows of the other knitted together with pain. The free hand of the awake person touched over the area of the heart once more before the awake person grasp the metal with both hands. It was lifted over the awake person’s head, sorrow filling their gaze.

“Forgive me,” was the last whisper before the streak of metal came soaring down. The sleepy person’s eyes flew open, but by that point it was too late. The blade torn through skin and muscle till it entered the heart. The agony that came after only lasted moments before the face of the sleeping person calmed and then they were gone. A stain of crimson red blossomed over the skin and bled into the cloth beneath the two bodies. The tears of the first person mixed with blood and profound sorrow filled the room.

~

Eyes flew open, breath coming in rapid pants and gasps. Sweat clung like a sheet as Taurina bolted upright on her bedroll. Her hands flew up and clutched over her chest where her heart could be found. There was a pulse, she could hear its beat loud in her ears. The Ethaefal reminded herself to breath.

’Breath.’

’Breath.’

’Breath.’

’It was only a dream.’

Taurina reached for her blanket and when she found it she pulled it in close and gripped it tightly against her body. When she closed her eyes all she could see was the red pouring crimson over clothe and skin. Her stomach twisted and eyes flew open once more so she could stare at the wall of her tent. She breathed more, the rapid breaths becoming slower after several forced long breaths. The panic within her lightened as she remembered that it was a dream, only a dream. It could not hurt her and it would not come true. It was over, it would not come back.

The Ethaefal’s heartbeat slowed and decreased back to a normal rate. Slowly, she let her hands drop from her chest and grip her blanket in her lap instead. Fingernails picked at cuticles and her eyes searched her tent nervously, as if someone was going to jump out and attack her. An irrational fear considering her tent was not a place many wished to socialize in. She did not ever bring people here, much less during the day when all she was going to do was sleep. There was no one she trusted enough to be around while she was in her most vulnerable state, when she could do nothing to defend herself.

A sweep of the tent, though, did work to calm the Eth. She was able to breath a little easier and relax a little more. There was no one after her and no one trying to trick her. She was as safe as one could be in Endrykas. Taurina sighed softly and made herself stand up, her legs wobbling under her. The dream had felt so real, but she did not know where it came from. The bodies had not been given faces with defined or recognizable features, nor did it give them voices that were anything more than generic. It was like her mind had created a scene to terrify her from her slumber and make it feel real so that she would have to question her reality. The Eth rubbed at her head, baffled and confused. How could she had thought up such a thing? How could her mind betray her like that?

Taurina sighed, the thoughts making her head hurt worse and causing her to rub her eyes. Her eyes only turned red and the image was not scrubbed away nor did if fade even a little. The Eth groaned and went to her pack to find her journal since sketching always seemed to work as an efficient way to clear the mind. Taurina shifted things around, most of her possessions residing in the bag at this moment. Including her little dagger that she spotted pressed up against the leather of her journal.

The entire pack was cast away from Taurina’s body, landing in a tumble just a couple feet from her. The lumpy bag sagged on the ground as Taurina’s heartbeat raised to that of a frightened rabbit. Her breathing became rapid once more and her mind questioned why she had gotten that thing. Why she had brought it with her on her journey to Endrykas and why she continued to carry even though she knew hardly anything about it besides to hold it and stab away from oneself instead of towards oneself. It she ever struck anything with it, it was by luck alone.

Taurina shifted on her feet, whimpering softly as she looked at her pack. She desired her journal, but that evil dagger was in the way. The dagger that looked so much like the one from the dream. The Eth forced herself to breath once more as she inched towards the bag. She knew it would not attack her, that the dagger was practically harmless with no one to wield it, but still fear had its icy grip on her and that grip tightened as she closed in on her pack.

“I will not be afraid,” the words came out desperate and pleading, “I will not be afraid.” Her hands signed brave and strong. She felt neither of those things, but desperately wished at that moment that she felt them both. Such a foolish thing to be scared of, an inanimate object. A blush rose in the Eth’s cheeks at the thought and she closed the distance between herself and the pack to release herself from the embarrassment. Her journal was gathered by desperate hands before she retreated to a safer place in the tent.

The dagger would not hurt her. The dream was just a dream. Nothing was real. The fear was irrational and false. She was safe, everything was alright and nothing was going to hurt her. Taurina sat on her bedroll, gripping the journal and trying.. trying to convince herself of that last three things were true.

Pavi | Common | ’Thoughts'

[Taurina]

The line created by charcoal wobbled unevenly across the page as Taurina tried to draw with shaky hands. It did not matter how hard she pressed or how much she concentrated, her hands refused to stop shaking. The hands holding the book in her lap was stiller than the other, but both were filled with a fear induced tremor. She kept telling herself how foolish she was being and how senseless her fear was. The dream was over and it would not come again. It was just a nightmare and sometimes, unfortunately, nightmares happened. The rational side of her mind was weaker than the irrational side though and thus, the irrational side always won without fail. The result was the tremor and the impulsive need to keep looking over her shoulder even though she knew very well no one was there and that no one was going to enter her tent.

Taurina’s gaze lifted from the page covered in squiggly lines and checked once more around her little tent. It was the same as just a few chimes ago. The lumpy pack laid in a heap near the edge of the canvas wall, her sparse belongings that did not fit in her pack rested at various points in the room and her bedroll laid motionless beneath her. The Eth’s gaze flickered over to the entrance of the tent that had been propped open previously to let in light and also give the Eth a visual on the activity outside without her actually having to go out there. The entrance was all clear as well. Taurina sighed, cursing the fear that ruled her mind.

‘I will not be afraid.’

“I will not be afraid.”

The words did not do anything different as they changed from being mental to being spoken outlaid. They made no difference, the fear was still strong and thriving. The idea of sleeping it off was discarded because that could produce another nightmare. More fear. Fear all around.

Taurina dropped the charcoal and raised her hands to her head, gripping her hair tightly with scarred hands. She pulled at it, dropping her head low and squeezing her eyes shut only to see the blood again. The blood, the bodies, the sheets, the whole scene. What did it mean? What could it mean? Did dreams mean anything? Was it simply just her mind playing tricks on her?

“Who are you? What do you mean? What do you want?”

The Ethaefal whimpered, drawing legs in close and rocking ever so slightly back and forth. She did not understand what this was cause by or why her mind chose now to do such things to her. There was already so much stress. Stress over winter’s coming, stress over training both herself and Melody with the yvas, stress even came with the loneliness she felt day in and day out. A place of belonging was yet to be found and the presence of someone that welcomed her and wanted her had left when the old fisherman who found her died. No one had come to take his place and while she did not believe that anyone could, there was a part of her that desperately wished for someone to try. If someone just cared enough, maybe then life would not be so heavy as it was now.

“Are you real? Are you a memory? Or are you just a dream?”

'Please just be a dream. Just be a nightmare. Never return.'

Taurina felt like crying in these moments of complete fear because she never felt strong enough. She always felt like the odd man out, the one someone would take out if it without hesitation if it came down to saving themselves. There was little about her that was useful and while she was desperate to learn, she had little to offer in return. She did not wish to take and never give, but the only thing she was microscopically good at was the sketching and fear was taking that away from her as well. The poorly drawn lines stared back up at her, taunting her in their own way. Taurina scowled at them, willing them to be destroyed, but she also shrunk back.

The trap fear had set had sprung and now the Ethaefal was trapped in a web that went no where but down if the prey did not learn how to fight their way out.

~

“What are you doing?” A bubbly little voice chirped just a few chimes later.

Taurina had spent those chimes curled up tightly in her ball with her face hidden from the world and her eyes shut tight. Even though closing her eyes only brought back the dream that could have been a memory, she did not want to acknowledge Mizahar or anyone in it. She wanted to curl up in a ball where she could wallow in her own misery and cowardliness. The fact she could not stand up to something inside her head was humiliating at best.

The Eth did not want to raise her head or let anyone see the redness of her eyes. There had been tears, not many, but enough to stain her eyes red for a time. Yet, that voice was familiar and it was close. Too close for comfort anyway. So Taurina, very slowly, lifted her head. An eye opened, gazing outward from just above her knee towards the open flap of her tent. There she saw standing, the little girl with soulful eyes and purple ribbons knotted in her hair. There was a groan in the Ethaefal throat when she saw that strange little girl. That little girl who she did not know was real or in her head. That little girl who knew too much, but spoke to little.

“You gonna let me in Rina?” The child asked real innocent like, swaying back and forth while playing with an additional purple ribbon in her hands. She wove the ribbon through her fingers, pulling it through them before starting over. Taurina watched, fascinated and curious by the action. She was also curious about the girl. How had she found her? Taurina had not seen her since that day of grey and was surprised to see her now. The Eth was also nervous, however, and scared that this child really was in her mind. Then she truly would be crazy.

“Are you real?” Taurina’s voice trembled slightly as she lifted her head higher and dropped her knees so she was siting cross legged. She signed question, curious, and please answer. The little girl just stared at her, those eyes burrowing deep.

“Are you?” the girl questioned back.

“I asked you first. Answer me this time.” a gentle demand, a request was signed. Taurina did not want another question, not like how the girl had avoided giving her a name the last time they met. No, this time she wanted answers.

“I’m not fake,” the girl’s answers were more infuriating than the girl’s presence was.

“Petch, just answer me child!” Taurina was growing frustrated. Her signs were louder and more demanding, just tell me! There was so much emotion much so that the fear was driven out by the frustration.

The little girl did not flinch with the new anger. She just swayed and looked at Taurina with those big eyes, pulling the ribbon through her fingers over and over again.

“Did you finish the girl yet?” the child asked which caused Taurina a great deal confusion till she realized what the girl was talking about.

No a simple sign was used to give the answer.

“Why?”

“Haven’t felt like it.” Taurina abandoned hope on getting answers to her questions.

“You should finish.”

“Why?”

“I wanna see.”

“You’ll have to wait.”

“No.” the little girl was demanding and insistent.

Taurina’s nose crinkled in something like disgust. She did not like this child and wanted her to go away. She was too weird and did not react enough. She was demanding and yet gave no answers. It was annoying and Taurina was done dealing with her today. There was enough on her plate to deal with today.

“You should leave,” Taurina prodded.

“Why?” the girl always came back with a question.

“I’m busy.” a lie was given to convince the girl to leave.

“Draw the girl.”

“Maybe,” Taurina gave in to try and further convince the girl to shoo.

That answer seem to satisfy the child. She turned and skipped away, leaving Taurina feeling a shiver run through her body despite the hot day. The Eth watched after where the child went, trying to assure herself that the child was real and just strange. Trying to get a grip on reality and remind herself that she was not crazy. That despite all her problems, that was one she did not have. She was not crazy.

Pavi | Little Girl| ’Thoughts'

[Taurina]

Eyes stared at the canvas wall of the simple tent, shifting slowly between being opened and being closed. Taurina sat with her journal pulled open in her lap, the sketch she landed on being the unfinished one of the second attempt at drawing a female face and also the one the little girl had demanded she finish. The little girl liked this face for some reason and when it was originally seen by the nameless child she had assured the Eth that the face was supposedly her and that it did not look right. The first time working on this sketch had been brought up to her, Taurina had complied for the day had been full of gloom and she had not had anything better to do. Today though, while she again had nothing better to do, the thought of producing good art felt too far out of reach.

Taurina’s eyes moved from the tent and shift down to the incomplete sketch. This face was so much better than the first. There was character and detail in this work and the face looked like someone who could be real. Taurina had even managed to get her eyes more right by shading the corners of them to produce the effect that there was some sort of light shining within them. While still nothing about the sketch was perfect, this attempt was so much better. However, it was also incomplete. The thought of completing it often came to mind, but Taurina had not yet gotten around to it and did not feel she had the skills to do it this day. There was still a slight tremor in her heads.

Taurina did not believe herself capable of creating anything more than the shaky lines she had already drawn. With a sigh, Taurina closed her journal with that thought. With her hands like this no amount of drawing was going to fix her mind and while she did not wish for the strange and bossy child to come back and be unsatisfiable, nothing could would come out of her trying to complete that face now. It would just have to wait. The little girl would just have to wait.

The Ethaefal sighed and placed her journal beside her bedroll before laying back and staring up at the ceiling. Her eyes stung from the fear filled tears she had shed and her mind was heavy with the exhaustion fear caused her. Though, whenever she closed her eyes all she saw were details of the dream. Sometimes she saw all of it and sometimes just parts. Every time had the blood and that whispered plea “forgive me”… how would a dead person ever get the chance to forgive? Taurina sighed and covered her face with her hands, groaning deeply. She wanted it to go away. For all of it to just go away.

‘Forgive me.’

‘Forgive me.’

‘Why did you do it?’

What was the motive for killing one so close to you? For slaughtering someone who trusted you so fully? Someone who shared their bed with you? Taurina hoped it was a dream and not a memory. A dream would mean her mind was just playing a dirty trick on her, but if it was a memory.. either someone she loved had killed her or even worse, she had killed someone she loved who likely loved her in return.

Another shiver blew through Taurina’s body, causing her to turn on her side and draw her knees up. It was a mess, the whole thing was a mess. Her mind was a mess. It had become unraveled in the fear sprung trap and any control she had maybe once had over it had been lost. The fear, the images, the lack of someone to share the burdens that were too heavy for her to carry on her own. Taurina whimpered softly, grabbing her blanket and balling it in her hands so that she could wrap her arms around it and tangle her legs within it.

The Ethaefal continued to stare, her eyes dull and fear filled as she watched her never changing wall and every once and awhile checked the flap of the tent that was still stretched open. Something told her to get up and let it down so no one could see her shame, but that meant moving and that idea was met with strong protest within the girl. The idea was turned away and so, despite her embarrassment, all could see the coward of an Eth completely crippled by her fear that had been induced by a nightmare.

~

Taurina did not move much throughout the day (thankfully the strange girl did not return). Instead she wasted the whole of it away, trusting Melody even to keep herself out of trouble because going to check on her would have needed too much exertion of both body and mind. As the bells past, the nightmare’s effect became less and less potent to her mind which in turn worked to diminish her fears. However, she knew they would come back. For every fear that was not properly killed off by the victim of said fear came back and usually did so with a vengeance. So though she was still tired, she refused to give into sleep.

Taurina was beginning to realize that she was riddled with fears and now her mind was taking them and turning them against her just because it could. Just because her own mind knew her better than anything else. It knew her better than the fears themselves. Sleep would give the nightmares a place to slip back in and she was not going to give them the satisfaction. Not while she had enough energy to keep going without the slumber.

The Ethaefal was happy when night fell over all of Endrykas and Leth rose to his proper place in the sky where he along with the stars shone bright over the tent city. Her frail body gave way for a stronger one that needed no such thing as sleep, but instead wished for the light of Leth only when it came to sustenance. It was after night fell, and only then, that Taurina forced herself to get up. First she sat up, stretching every bone and muscle of her superior body. Bravery came to her as she stood and travelled over to her pack. The hilt of her dagger was found and while the object made her cringe back with fright, she was able to grab hold of it and put the weapon somewhere else so she could get into her bag. Once within her bag, Taurina fished around until she found her brush and was able to draw it out. The object brought a satisfied smile to her lips and she walked over to her bedroll to mess with her long locks of crimson hair.

Taurina sat before she began to work through the hair. First it was parted into two sections on either side of her head. She took great care to make sure none got stuck in her horns and then she moved the brush through the soft hair. She worked her way from bottom to top, finding it to be the path of least resistance in working the tangles out of her hair. It did not seem to matter how well she cared for the locks before her shift to the Drykas form in the mornings, it always held some amount of tangle when the Ethaefal form came once more. It was alright, Taurina had learned to live with it. She worked through her hair until it was all soft and smooth to the touch. Her brush was then laid aside and her hands began to work through the hair.

The Eth created two sections of braids in the crimson hair, one on each side. The braids were woven tight against her scalp and rounded each of her horns from where they started across the top. Then the thick hair met in the middle at the base of her head where she began weaving the pieces together into one braid that trailed down to about her mid back. The hair was tied off and the Ethaefal was satisfied with what she had done. She then found her boots and pulled them on before going and grabbing her yvas. The saddle bags were detached, her halter was found, and sugar treats were fished out before Taurina head out to find her mare.

They were going for a ride tonight and Taurina was not going to let Melody refuse her. Not tonight.

LedgerSugar treats equal to one pound of sugar. -1GM

Pavi | Common| ’Thoughts'

[Taurina]

It was in this one thing that the Ethaefal wished to succeed. There were so many things she just simply failed at for lack of knowledge and/or lack of skill. She had seen others get stubborn horses to wear the yvas and had even gotten it on Melody before. Every time she worked to get the device on Melody, however, the mare put up a prolonged fight where she worked to try and get her way. Sometimes Taurina had given in and given up, but not tonight. Tonight this mare would wear the yvas and they were going to go on a ride under Leth’s light.

“Leth, grant me strength,” Taurina raised a prayer as she let her glance turn up towards the sky and fixed it on her god, “patience would be appreciated as well.” The Eth closed her eyes and smiled lightly, comforted by Leth’s presence.

The pause in Taurina’s journey lasted only a few moments before she was once more heading towards her mare. Melody was standing with her head bowed low and mouth grasping at the grass. The day had been hot and the evening was still pretty hot since the night had yet had time to work towards cooling everything down. Melody was likely hot and dirty, so Taurina first placed the objects in her arms down on the soft grass and slowly walked up to her horse. She kept her presence calm and non-threatening, working so that she would not spook the colorsplash.

Melody greeted her owner with the lifting of her head and a gaze that turned to find the Eth. A small sound of acknowledgment was made and Taurina knew she had been noticed. With a slight smile, she moved up to the mare and began to stroke the animal’s neck. There was a layer of sweat and dirt covering the creature which caused Taurina’s smile to turn into a frown. Of course the mare had been hot and had likely rolled at some point to try and cool herself. This had been expected and was normal, but the Eth was somewhat disappointed and also discouraged. Taurina sighed and ran her hands down Melody’s warm neck, trying to figure out a solution.

“Hello there my darling,” Taurina murmured, running fingers through Melody’s tangled mane. Cleaning the horse would take time and water, the later had been scarce as of late and Taurina was not looking to go out into the Sea of Grass by herself during the night hours. She never wanted to go out there if she could help it, not alone anyway. The vast plains scared her and she had seen things out there while traveling through the summer that made her weary of it. She was scared of being attacked and then hurt or killed. The Zith attacks on Endrykas also had not helped with her courage when it came to being out there alone. So while she had gone out alone once before during this season, she was not eager to do so again. Not if it could be helped.

“You need a bath my dear. What did you get yourself into today?” the mare was questioned, but did not answer which was expected. Melody did not have the ability to do such things as give her owner answers to questions. Taurina just sighed and continued to play with the horse’s mane with her fingers. “You are a piece of work, you know that?” Taurina teased, stroking the mare’s cheek with a free hand, “what am I gonna do with you?” The Eth sighed, knowing very well she would do nothing with the horse. She would love her and cherish her as much as she could as well as ride her and use her to be what she was suppose to be. Melody was the only friend who had begun to mean something to the Eth, she was not gonna let her go anytime soon if it could be helped.

“Let’s try something, not much, but a little bath. What do you think of that?” once more there was no answer from the mare. She was instead standing still while Taurina messed with her mane and stroked her hand down her neck to where it rested just over her withers. Taurina took a breath and focused in on her small knowledge of Reimancy. She turned her palms up towards the sky and looked on Leth for a tick. There was a pause so she could gather up breath and release it before her eyes shut and her mind pulled at the power within her.

As usual, the res formed in her hands slowly and nothing more than a small ball was shaped. It was no bigger than the palm of her hand and while she knew she would need more, she did not wish to risk it. Her limits were unknown to her as of yet and she did not wish to push them. Even if it did mean getting her mare clean. So Taurina just focused on the little she had now and placed the ball of gel like res on Melody’s back. There was another layer of focus before the res turned into water that pooled over the Mare. Taurina used her hands to guide the water over the horse’s side, gathering as much dirt as she could to go down with it.

“You are dirty dirty Melody, I don’t think I’ll be able to ride you tonight,” she murmurs, somewhat disheartened. She had wanted to go for a ride in the moonlight to just forget herself and feel accomplished at at least one thing today. She had wasted almost all of the daylight hours, the only ones that she had been productive within were the morning ones that had been spent at the Lilacwind pavilion working. Melody was too dirty to ride as it stood, however. The person who had sold her the horse and taught her some of the basics of riding and taking care of the mare had told her never to ride without cleaning the horse first. Any piece of dirt could work against the horse and possibly give her an injury if big enough and placed incorrectly. Taurina was not sure if that applied with the yvas as well, but she was unwilling to risk it. Not with how much she cared for her little mare and how lost she would be without the horse.

Taurina run her hands over the now wet portion of the mare’s coat over and over again, just thinking and sighing every once and awhile as she continued to find dirt that needed to be freed from in-between horse hair. “We could look for some water, we might be close enough to some so we would not have to go out there,” Taurina mused, sure if Melody could understand her that she would hate the idea. Melody was not a fan of the yvas. The other saddle Taurina had used with her had been fine, but now they struggled every time they went for a ride or when the tent city moved to the next location. It was infuriating, but Taurina was not giving up with this. It was Drykas, she wished to be Drykas like her earthbound form and fit in here. Using the yvas was part of that.

Taurina left the mare and went over to where her supplies were. She gathered everything up in her arms and returned to her tent for a few short chimes. When she left once more all she had was the halter and rope with a couple of the small cubes that were sugar treats for the mare as well as the waterskin she carried with her most everywhere. Taurina walked up to her mare and got the halter on her easily, giving a treat in return after that was done. Taurina then took the rope, the long end gathered in one hand and the other hand gripping it just under where it connected with Melody’s halter. She stood to the side of the horse and clicked her tongue, getting the mare to move.

“Alright my darling, be patient with me. We’re gonna get you clean.” Melody just walked compliantly beside her, not seeming to care very much at all what they were doing.

Pavi | Common| ’Thoughts'

[Taurina]

The pair meandered through the tent city for quite some time, searching for any place that held enough water to clean the mare. As they walked though, Taurina felt guilty for wanting to use water for herself in that she wished to clean her mare with it. Technically, getting Melody clean could be done with lots of time and brush work, the dirt was dry enough in all places but where Taurina had wet the hair with her Reimancy. The work that would require though meant it would take a long time and while Taurina was not incapable of the work and did not lack time, she wished to ride sooner rather than later. Water would speed up the cleansing process, but still.. that water should be used for drinking as much as it could be and it was almost wasteful for her to use it on Melody for the selfish desire of just wishing to take a ride for no reason other than she wanted to.

Water was found on the edge of one side of the tent city. Taurina ran across a small lake like structure that was neither very deep nor very wide. It was definitely the size of a lake, just not a very great one. Maybe a river would be a more accurate description, it was still even small for a river. Taurina sighed and squatted down to the water, running a hand through the cool liquid as she thought. Water was so valuable lately, she did not wish to be selfish. She did not wish to steal from others in this way. Not when other options were available.

There was another sigh as Taurina just stared down at the water, Melody was making it ripple as she took some long drinks of it. Taurina had to stop her after awhile, to make sure she did not drink too much too fast. One of the merchants she travelled through the summer with told her once that it was bad for horses to do that. Slow was best. Leth’s light shined bright against the rippling water, casting a luminescent like white glow over the blue. The stars added in their own light, dotting the water with their sparkles that were duller in the liquid than in the sky. Taurina took a long look at the sky mirrored in the water before she focused on her own face, her own dim reflection cast on the water’s surface.

When she saw herself, her face, her horns, there was a sudden twist of agony within her chest. Longing pressed itself against her heart and sadness caused her eyes to grow damp. She missed what she had been when with Leth. While thinking about it was often a cause of anguish for her, it was rare for it to be so strong. On shaky legs, Taurina stood and looked to her mare. She sighed softly and gave Melody and scratch on her neck, now distraught with these new thoughts in her head.

First had come the fear and now came the sadness. She did not know what would be next and she did not wish to know. There had been enough emotions for one day and Taurina was done. She was done with feeling so deeply and for being so torn because of dreams and memories. Sometimes she wished she could just forget it all. Forget the few snippets of memory she had, forget about her time in Leth’s realm, forget about trying to remember. Maybe life would be easier if she could just bury everything and start anew. Be like a baby once more, starting everything for the first time.

Taurina ran her fingers down the length of the long piece of her braid work, just sighing as it was pushed over her right shoulder. She would not forget because in her folly she desired to remember and to be connected. Both to the life she had and to the life she lost. She desired to be with Leth again and to feel all the connection she had once had with him. She desired to know about her earthbound form’s previous life and figure out how it related to her life now. There was a strong belief in destiny within her and she refused to acknowledge the possibility that things did not happen for a reason. Everything happened for a reason. There was a purpose for everything. That was what Taurina believed in and she would not give up her beliefs. They were all that made sense to her in her thought to be messed up existence.

“We are just going to use a little,” Taurina decided to go ahead and take some water. Not a lot, just enough to clean the major parts of her mare. A ride was needed tonight, that much was becoming clear. Taurina wished to free herself from the trap that was her mind. She needed a release and she wished for that to be found in riding since sketching had not helped her this day. While her hands no longer trembled, she just needed a break and needed to do something else. Tattooing was too stressful and trying to forage at night would be too hard. Riding could be done. After Melody was clean and once the battle to get the yvas on had been completed, as well as successful on Taurina’s part, they could go riding. It might not be a very smooth ride or very fast, but it would bring a release. At least, that was Taurina’s hope.

The Ethaefal removed her waterskin and bent to fill it up since it had been drained during the day and become close to bone dry. The skin was pressed into the water, bubbles popping on the water’s surface as oxygen left the water skin. Once the bubbles stopped coming, Taurina lifted it, held Melody in place with one hand before she poured the water over the lower portion of the mare’s neck and her withers. Taurina than put the waterskin down and used her hands to help the water wash the dirt from Melody’s coat. The horse was not fearful of water or Taurina’s touch so the process the Eth used to clean her went fairly smooth.

Taurina did this over and over, using five full waterskins before she was satisfied with Melody’s cleanliness level. The mare was mostly cleaned where the yvas would sit, that being the most important place. While Taurina had worked a little water through the mare’s mane, neck and down her backside, she had not worked to get those places really clean. Just clean enough so the mare would not be miserable and to help with cooling down since the night was still working on reducing the heat of the day.

Once Taurina was done cleaning her mare, the waterskin was filled once more for drinking purposes and Melody’s lead rope was picked up again. The pair left and Taurina did not look at herself anymore in the water. The distress it had caused the first time was too great to risk it again. Besides, she knew she was a mess. Her head was the only thing that remained not covered in dirt and water. Cleaning Melody this way had been a bigger project than Taurina had thought it would be originally. No matter, the mare was clean and they still had more than half the night left. If everything went according to plan, they would be able to get a good ride in before Syna even thought it to be time to shine on the world of Mizahar with her golden light once more.

Pavi | Common| ’Thoughts'

[Taurina]

“Come on now, don’t fight with me,” Taurina begged calmly, keeping her voice soft and her tone even. She had been using common with the mare throughout the night since the language was easier for both of them to understand. Melody was also more obedient when hearing the familiar sounding words, pavi rarely worked in getting her to do anything since she had been trained with common. It was not working in this instance though, the mare was putting up her usual fight and had been since she saw the yvas in Taurina’s hands. Once they had gotten back Taurina had gone into her tent and brought the object out and since that moment the two have been at odds.

Each time Taurina took a step towards the mare with the newish riding equipment, the mare took about two steps back. She was not having it. When Taurina had gotten close to slipping even the blanket part of the yvas on, the mare had moved away at the last minute. Melody had learned what that particular blanket meant and did not care to get those results. Taurina was growing frustrated, but tried very hard to keep herself calm. It would be alright, they would get this. Melody just had to learn and Taurina just needed to be patient. It was a learning curve for both of them.

“Leth, grant me patience, grant me strength,” a repeated prayer left the Eth’s lips in pavi before she returned her attention back to Melody. She put down the main part of the yvas and just took the blanket as well as a sugar cube from her pocket. She offered the sugar cube to the mare. Melody sniffed at it first before her muzzle pressed up against Taurina’s flat palm and the sugar cube disappeared. Taurina smiled, glad the mare was not completely against her. At least she still desired sugar treats.

“Alright, there you go Melody. We are just gonna take this nice and slow,” Taurina kept herself calm as she first showed Melody the blanket once more with one hand. “This is not going to harm you,” Taurina assured in a voice meant to induce trust towards her in the horse. Melody’s ears pinned back before flickering forward. She reached out towards the blanket, sniffing it, but more smelling the sugar cube Taurina hide behind it with her other hand. Melody pressed her face into where she smelt the treat to be and Taurina smiled once more, glad her idea was working. “Good girl my darling, here you go,” the sugar cube was offered and easily taken by Melody.

As the mare was chewing, Taurina moved towards her with the blanket. She folded it in half and rubbed it against the horse’s withers, getting her used to the feel of it and trying to get her to trust it again like she had before. When Melody did not move away she was given another treat and Taurina moved to the other side of the horse. This side was also rubbed on with the blanket, showing the horse that there was nothing to be afraid of. When she did not move away once more, another cube was given as a reward. Positive reinforcement, that was what the blonde Drykas had showed her not many days ago.

“See, it will not hurt you,” Taurina assured in a soft voice, stroking her hand down the mare’s neck. Taurina checked the horse’s ears, finding them relaxed in a forward position. A smile played on Taurina’s lips as she unfolded the blanket. “Alright, I’m gonna put it on now. It will not hurt you,” Taurina talked Melody through her actions as she slowly slid the object on the horse. Melody shifted her weight, but did not balk or do anything else to force it off of her. Taurina pet the mare’s neck. “What a good girl you are Melody,” she praised, offering another sugar treat that was quickly consumed. Taurina let out a little, happy laugh before she stroked the horse’s face.

“I guess we both have some stuff to get over,” she admitted, realizing that the horse has just been scared because she did not know and did not trust these new objects. Likely this would not be the end of the battle, but maybe it would be a little better from now on. “I know, I know. We all get scared,” Taurina mused calmly before letting out a sigh and kissing the horse’s face with gentle lips, “Let’s get the rest on.”

Taurina moved over to the rest of the yvas and picked it up. Melody became weary once more when Taurina stepped towards her. The rider held out a sugar cube though, offering a treat just like she had seen that blonde Drykas do with her strider, and Melody was less hesitant. Her ears kept flickering between distrust and interest. Taurina kept herself calm, refusing to become impatient or more frustrated because she was learning that those emotions just put them back in progress rather than allowing them to move forward. Taurina staid where she was, holding the yvas in front of the sugar cube like she had with the blanket. She wished to gain Melody’s trust and then they could move to getting the object actually on her.

Melody was slow about it, but eventually she came close enough and then gave in and dipped her head under the yvas so that she could get to the sugar cube. Taurina smiled, but did not slip the yvas over the mare’s head yet. Instead she moved to show the mare the object on both sides. There was no moving besides some minor shifting of weight and the flickering of ears. Melody was rewarded once she relaxed and allowed the weight of the yvas to be pressed up against her side on both sides. Then, very carefully and slowly, Taurina got the object over Melody’s neck and settled it down against her withers. That changed things a bit and Melody’s ears pinned back.

Taurina moved out of the way while Melody got used to the new object. She made several movements that showed her distaste, but nothing like before. She did not buck or try very hard to get it off. She did not get down on the ground and try to roll it off either which was success. Once she had done that and Taurina had freaked out, terrified she would injure herself. This time was better though and Melody grew to accept which caused her to earn another treat. “Good girl my darling Melody, good girl,” Taurina praised as she gave over the treat. The last thing Taurina did was fasten the strap that held the yvas on and caused it to function. Melody did not put up much protest to this and that made Taurina smile. They were making progress.

“I’m gonna get on now Melody,” Taurina warned her mare calmly. The Eth first brought back the lead rope and left it slack, so Melody’s head would not be moved, as she rested it over the mare’s neck. Then Taurina placed her hands on Melody’s back, finding herself thankful that she was tall in this form. With some effort, Taurina got her leg over the horse and shifted the rest of her body once she was on. A nervous breath was released as Taurina let out a laugh. “Good girl Melody,” she praised, patting the horse’s neck with a gentle, encouraging hand. Melody let out a long breath, shifting beneath her rider. Everything could be felt with the yvas, so much more than with a saddle. Taurina found herself equally fascinated and nervous because of it.

“Alright, I’m gonna let go of the rope now, listen to me,” Taurina instructed before using the rope to pull Melody’s face towards her as much as could be comfortable. The rider released the lead rope and let it fall to the ground. She then grab hold of the yvas with one hand and onto Melody’s mane with the other hand.

“Just nice and slow Melody, nice and slow,” Taurina instructed, giving the horse a light squeeze in the sides using her legs. Melody pressed on, unsure, but obedient. Taurina smiled, pleased. Melody was getting over her fear. Now it was time for Taurina to get over hers and there was much for her to overcome.

“I will not be afraid,” Taurina murmured, her gaze set on where they were going. There would be no looking back. No more fear. “I will not be afraid.”

Pavi | Common| ’Thoughts'

[Rufio]

　　　
　　
　　
　　
　　
　　
　　

g r a d e s

xp

Observation +5
Meditation +1
Investigation +2
Logic +1
Sketching +1
Philosophy +1
Interrogation +1
Rhetoric +1
Cosmetology +1
Horsemanship +2
Reimancy, Water +1
Grooming +2
Riding, Horse +1

lores

Taurina: a nightmare of being stabbed
Fear is a web that traps those who do not fight
Reimancy: being wary of one's limits
Reimancy: water-casting
Wilderness Survival, Plains: it is not wise to go into the plains alone
Horsemanship: calm approach so as not to cause a startle
Horsemanship: await signs of acknowledgment before initiating touch
Horsemanship: riding a horse that is dirty can cause harm
Horsemanship: putting on tack
Horsemanship: sugar cubes for rewarding behaviour
Animal Husbandry: horses roll in dirt to cool off when too hot
Animal Husbandry: it is bad for a horse to drink too much water too quickly
Grooming: a horse
Riding, Horse: using yvas
Riding, Horse: squeeze lightly with thighs to move forward

If you feel I missed anything shoot me a PM.
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