[Flashback] A Prayer to the Gods

[Kanara Keezheekoni]

Season of Summer, Day 13, 507 The wood was warm in her hands as she spun it around her, her fingers learning to anticipate the movement of her staff. She shifted forward, light on her feet, allowing the staff to swing in front of her loosely. Shifting again, she locked her arms bringing the staff to a sudden halt to her side. “Nice strike.” Kanara whipped around, her staff in a defensive position towards the sounds of the voice. She hadn’t heard anyone approach. When she was holding her staff, she usually relied on her ears alone to hear things since all she could sense with her fingertips were the sounds of the wood singing as it swept through the air. She squinted, trying to see who was ahead of her even though she recognized her brother’s voice. Shade was whispering through the land, the sand was no longer reflecting sunlight. It was already becoming chilly, it would become cold soon. He approached her, knowing she wouldn’t move until she could see him. Finally, her shoulders relaxed and she straightened. “Cheveyo, what are you doing here?” He smiled, his eyes laughing at her as he ruffled her hair. “I came to wish you luck, sister. Or rather your guardian luck when you get one.” Kanara glared at him from under her hair as she bore his abuse and promptly clonked him over the head with her staff when he was done. Cheveyo let out a laugh sounding like cool water. Kanara closed her eyes, listening to his laugh and marveling at their personality difference. She envied his ability to laugh so easily. She had lost it sometime ago. She felt a small nudge and reluctantly opened her eyes. Moonless eyes stared back at her. “Eywaat and Makutsi will guide you. And remember,” her brother said solemnly. “He lives on in us. Here,” he pointed at his heart. “So, don’t do anything reckless! Alright?” He grinned and winked at her before strolling back to camp, disappearing into the tribe. Kanara’s eyes watered slightly at his words, she swallowed hard and nodded silently in his direction. She was glad he left before she could say anything, they both hated seeing the other emotional. She sighed, chewing her lip in thought of her searching the next day. She was nervous, her palms already clamming up. Knowing she would get no more training done, she gave a long whistle before grabbing her waterskin and taking a sip of water. As she waited she watched the last rays of sunlight disappear into the belly of the land, leaving only the echo of light. She knew her time was fast approaching. Before long she could feel the canter of hooves in her fingers. She flexed them to open all the pores, shifting through the vibrations of her tribe nearby until she identified the hoof beats approaching from the east. She stood and faced that direction, waiting for her. She saw her after a few moments, a while streak against the darkening sky. A rare smile lifted Kanara’s lips as she ran towards her. They met at the half way point, the pale horse whinnying its greeting. Kanara placed her hand on the black star marking on the horses’ head. “Kasu, you can’t come to me for a while, my searching is tomorrow.” The white horse neighed and bumped her head against Kanara’s hand. “You remembered.” At that comment, Kasu butted her head against Kanara’s head. Kanara winced, “I did tell you every waking moment for a week, didn’t I? Oops.” Kasu snorted and tossed her head in the air. She gently nudged Kanara’s cheek before turning away and riding back to her herd. Kanara watched her go until she couldn’t see or feel her anymore before she too turned her back and began to walk towards camp. Kanara tried to sleep through the night, but she kept tossing and turning, tormented with dreams about golden wolves. Their eyes drew her to them like moths to the flame. She wanted to run, to feel her feet stirring sand but she couldn’t move. She stared at them, shivering violently in the cold and at their hungry eyes. They moved towards her, the sand absorbing the sounds of their feet. What scared her the most was her inability to feel their vibrations. Their lack of energy disturbed her; even carcasses had some feeble energy of their past life left in them. She tried listening to the ground and air, but she could feel nothing. Finally, one jumped at her. She could see him coming, teeth bared. Cringing, she brought her arms up in front of her as some sort of defense. Then there’s was some sort of pressure on her chest and she was falling backwards. She woke up, covered in sweat. The rest of her family was still sleeping soundly. She exhaled, relieved when something burst through into the tent. A golden wolf. Her breath caught in her throat as she reached for her staff, but made the mistake of looking onto its eyes. She got lost in them even though her body screamed danger, she couldn’t move. Then just like before, it jumped at her. This time, she managed to squeeze her eyes shut and had the sense to roll away. When she open her eyes the tent was empty, her family had already left. Small tints of light were peeping into the tent. Kanara gasped, it was pre-dawn already. A dream within a dream. She shivered, wondering what it meant. Finally, she got up. Today was her searching, if the dream was important, it would come back to her again.

[Kanara Keezheekoni]

She collected her belongings together, then pulled on her older sister’s cloak, which had been handed down for years until each member of the family could make their own. Kanara had been collecting her own black feathers, but she was nowhere close to finishing. Her sisters had teased her about it the day before. Both of them had finished their cloaks before their ceremony. Kanara had snorted at them, muttering that they had too much help before disappearing to practice with her quarterstaff. She made her way to the tent entrance slowly. She could feel her brothers’ presences immediately. It calmed her nerves slightly to know they would be around her. She reached out towards the tent flap, her mind in turmoil. She knew what she sought; revenge. But, her brothers had told her it wouldn't clear the emptiness in her heart. She remembered that day; she was thoroughly disgusted with herself that she was so see-through. Even now the thought brought her shame. She couldn't help but wonder if everyone would see her emotions today. After a long pause, she promptly smacked herself and shook her head to clear all her doubts. She had a task to undertake and a desert to survive. Steeling herself, she pushed the flab back and walked out of the tent. The sun was peering its head over the horizon. Daybreak. She unconsciously reached out for Kasu at the sight of the ring of men and few women that had formed a circle a few feet away from her. They were beautiful, decorated in their finest cloaks. Her breath caught at the sight of them. She couldn’t feel Kasu nearby, true to her word her horse had disappeared from Kanara’s senses. She bit back a sigh and walked towards the circle of her people. They ignored her, staring off into the distance. She stopped herself form searching for the rest of her family. She knew they were all hiding nearby somewhere. She would need all her wits to survive the desert; this would be no time to get distracted. Feeling a sense of determination fall over her, she walked towards them with long strides and entered the circle waiting for the ceremony to continue.

[Colombina]

"Welcome Kanara." Yiska sat in the center of the lonely circle, surrounded in cactus flowers the color of coral. Their scent was honey sweet. Near her brother's age, Yiska had all the glow of youth but the broad shoulders of a man. His dark hair was loosely tied back and his smile was warm. It was easy to see why girls prayed to Cheva and Makutsi for ways to charm him. "Don't look so worried. Your searching brings good things, a guardian and, if you're lucky, a word from the gods." His warm expression had a shade of friendly teasing to it. "Perhaps you will meet Eywaat and he will fall in love with you." In Yiska's lap was a large bronze bowl filled with water. The vessel had the mixture of polish and wear proper for any ceremonial tool. Perhaps this was the same bowl that served her father on his own day. Both their hands would have rested on it, both filled with wonder and trepidation. "Kanara," Yiska began in a tone deep and true. "Remember us always. Remember what you protect and what you strive for. By strength and dedication, we are made full. By strength and dedication we are made blessed." He raised the bowl towards her. "Tell us what you seek. Tell us, then drink to fullness."

[Kanara Keezheekoni]

The scent of the flowers hit her first. Its sweetness made her mouth water and brought awareness to her creeping hunger. Her eyes focused on Yiska next. All the children had played together when they were younger and she remembered the boy from her childhood. Those where days of the past. It did no good to linger in the past if there were no lessons to learn. She barely recognized the man in front of her. She hadn’t talked to him for a long time now, but she wasn’t surprised to see him in the center. There had been enough whispers amongst the girls and women to know and it was not like she disagreed with them. Maybe it was his way with people that gave him his charm. Usually when people that were kind to her always left her feeling empty and uncomfortable as if she didn't deserve their kindness. However, she felt too much excitement to let those feelings interfere with the moment. She let a small smile pass before the ritual took its somber tone. Kanara let the words ring through her. They filled her soul with her peoples’ strength and wisdom. Hearing the voices of those before her, she spoke with the strength of many but the desire of one. “I seek for Truth.” “I seek for Justice.” “I seek for Peace.” “I seek to protect those I love.” Her eyes burning with conviction, she took the bowl from Yiska. Thoughts of her father flashed through her. She was never his particular favorite nor vice versa, but their love was strong and she had to take responsibility for what she had done. Feeling the weight of the bowl in her hands, she tilted her head up and drank her full.

[Colombina]

The water was good but had a quick herbal bitterness like tea steeped too long. When Kanara had drunk her fill, Yiska spoke a final benediction. "There is power in the journey, Kanara." With that uttered, the others began to sing. It was a melody without words but seemed so familiar, like something a mother would hum in the evening. The song began to lull her senses. Her limbs were heavy and a watery sheen blurred her sight. Everything was going so slowly and the world seemed softer than ever. Gentle sleep ran its numbing fingers over her. ~*~ Nothing. When Kanara opened her eyes, she saw nothing but the stark line between sand and sky. Gone were the tents, her people and any sign of living souls. A pack with her things was beside her and her cheek was covered in the grit of sand where her face pressed the earth. How long had she slept? The sun was higher and whiter than before. The lonely desert hissed as sand tumbled from one pile to another. So this was the searching? What now? It didn't seem as mystical or glamorous as one might hope.

[Kanara Keezheekoni]

Bitterness was the first thing she tasted when she came to. The lingering smell of the sweet flowers and the bitter taste of the tea brought back the final moments of her rite. The wordless song that had risen before she dropped off into a dreamless sleep haunted the edges of her mind. It made her head felt fuzzy and it didn’t help that she became disoriented as she stood up too fast. She had no recollection of hitting the ground, just the distant voice of Yiska uttering the final words. Kanara dusted the sand off her and took in her surroundings. Emptiness surrounded her. Her tribe must have left hours ago. She didn’t try to find a sense of them; they would be long gone by now. She just stared at the horizon, bare of the peeking sun that had been there just a few hours ago. Finally, she shook herself from her thoughts. She wouldn’t accomplish anything by staring off into the distance. Looking about her once more, she shouldered her pack and chose a random direction and began walking. The sun rose higher in the sky as she walked. Blistering heat rose from the sand in waves. A harsh breeze whistled past her, lifting her hair and drawing beads of sweat on her body. She was in a semi conscious state; her second eyelids closed, her body relaxed, her mind neither here nor there. The landscape, fuzzy under her eyelids drew her into herself. She was a fool for doing so and she knew it. She should be alert and aware; there was danger at each footfall. But, she couldn’t quite bring herself to awareness, to constantly look at the emptiness that surrounded her. It brought back too many memories. She sighed, any resolution she had during the ritual was now gone. She felt vacant and lost. Voices of her family tormented her, giving her advice. Where was her voice? Her guiding sense of direction? Oh right, she was looking for it. On she walked with no real purpose; wandering without seeing, walking without feeling until a dull pain settled in her stomach. Finally, she realized it was hunger. She had forgotten that she had been hungry. Starving actually. A sense of purpose bloomed within her. Find food. Obediently, she opened her second eyelids allowing the bright sunlight break though her haze and begin her search. Seeing as her skills didn’t lie in hunting, she decided to stalk for plants until the need for meat overwhelmed her enough to hunt. She stopped and squatted close to the ground. Closing her eyes, she opened her senses to the world. Rich energy flowed back to her, energizing her soul. She almost lost herself in the rhythm of life until the sharp pains of hunger brought her back. She began to trace the lines of energy, looking for signs of edible plant life. She didn’t know how long she searched. She just remembered getting up and walking as she continued her search. At first she thought it was false hope and a starved body that brought the hum of an Acadia tree. She would have laughed from pure exhaustion, but she didn’t quite trust the hazy shadow of a tree far ahead of her. Slowly, she headed towards it and prayed it wasn’t a mirage.