{Evarette's Scrapbook} "Wonder Fool"

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{Evarette's Scrapbook} "Wonder Fool"

Postby Evarette Karmine on February 19th, 2010, 2:29 am

Nothing is Foolproof to a Talented Fool


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Stats:

DOB: 3-22-84
Name: Sarah
Location: KY
Status: Splendiferous



...Let this be a place where I record my experiences and aspirations during my time spent writing here...
...Alongside the absurdity of my everyday life...




Comments are welcome.

Criticism is encouraged.

Please, be reasonable.
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Evarette Karmine
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Re: {Evarette's Scrapbook} "Wonder Fool"

Postby Evarette Karmine on February 19th, 2010, 3:12 am

Moving On.


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Or, trying to, really.

I just had one of the most emotionally exhausting conversations with my mother, ever. Surprisingly, this one did not involve yelling, or either of us hanging up on the other. It was just...draining.

In this conversations, she firmly addressed and shared her opinion on three aspects of my life:

-My Career
-My Relationship
-My Future

All of which, obviously, do tie into one another.


First and foremost, I had to endure a round of "This is what you NEED to do" regarding my Career. As some of you know, I plan on going back to school next year. What school, and what for, I have yet to decide upon. My mom has it in her head that I need to sign up for the army, submit to basic training, so that they can cheerily pay my way through vet school. Somehow, she firmly believes that by paying my way through vet school, the army will be reluctant to permit me to do any actual fighting, and I will be settled in some happy, safe little cottage on a base somewhere, seeing to the welfare of the army's pack of bomb-sniffing service dogs.

Uh....huh.

I didn't even try to argue my way out of this one. I just said: "No."

She also seems to think I need to get involved in a career that will get me to SEE places. Germany. Australia. India. Thailand. Egypt. All places I would very much love to see and experience, I agree. But the possibility of reaching these places forces me to face another reality I am just not quite ready for yet..

...Which brings me to me Relationship with Benji.

Allow me to break it down. Benji is a grown man with responsibilities, who relishes his ability to be cling to his childhood. (Read that as 28 going on 12.) ...He has a mortgage, a big-boy job, and is officially pretty settled here in Indiana. His plans on seeing the world outside of Indiana include a few road trips a year and possibly the expense of a vacation to some place new once every 1-2 years. He is a good man, who has managed to (once again) make me comfortably happy and content in my life here with him. Yes, from time to time my nerves are frayed by his inability to take anything seriously, and the fact I often have to brow-beat him into conversing with me like an adult instead of tossing wise-ass, childish quips at me every other sentence. We have roughly one full day together a week, usually followed by sex. He tolerates my love of animals exceedingly well, and sympathizes with my bad days. We coexist peacefully, for the most part. Life is...Cozy. Content. Comfortable.

Yet, is this what I want for my Future?? ...To spend the next majority of my life glued to Indiana, my aspirations for experiencing the world cooled to a trip outside the country every year or so? To spend it simply...comfortable? ...Then come kids. That will undoubtedly complicate things. Do I *want* to have children with a man who still behaves like a child himself? ...Sure, he owns his own home. He has a stable job he considers tolerable. But, we're talking about a 28 year-old who still follows half of everything I say with "Thats what SHE said" and spends afternoons giggling at fart-joke humor. -.-' My mom keeps insisting over and over that Benji just isn't husband material. He's a good guy...just not the guy. And, for the upteenth time, I quieted her with "I just have too many things on my plate right now to straighten out before tackling that..."

*sigh*


Monkey, what would you do?

"Eat Sumfin."
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Right.
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Evarette Karmine
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Re: {Evarette's Scrapbook} "Wonder Fool"

Postby Colombina on February 19th, 2010, 8:56 pm

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Nosce te Ipsum


It's funny how these forks in the road sneak up on you. You plan your path and it's great until you reach the end of your conception, or something came up that you didn't foresee. We're both feeling the perplexity of the "quarter life crisis" in some ways.

It's hard to step away from comfort. I hate leaving it. But one day knowledge, courage and desire will meet. I think you already have some of that knowledge.

Maybe what you want is already there, maybe what you think you want is overrated or exactly what you need. I'm finding that I have overlooked some beautiful things in my own life.
No matter where we go, we take all our quirks and longings with us. In the meanwhile, it's nice to have a mom that loves you and wonderful puppies.

I don't know if it will help you, but I'm trying to teach myself to "be present". (It's hard.) There's this verse I love: "Be still and know that I am God." It's faith in something bigger, peace with control not being in my hands, and stillness in the moment. How can I know what I want later if I can't even see where I am and what I have now?

All that to say, I think the bridge will come and you'll take one bold step and be on your beautiful way. In the meanwhile, I'm with Monkey, seize what makes you full and happy. :)

Thanks for sharing.
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Re: {Evarette's Scrapbook} "Wonder Fool"

Postby Aneira Haimati on February 19th, 2010, 9:24 pm

Change takes so much courage. It doesn't just "happen."

It also takes a lot of courage to see what you see and face it. You seem to be doing wonderfully there. :)

Let me just add this. Life with a man will get comfortable and cozy. That's inevitable. There are phases and stages to a lifelong relationship. But you will probably go insane if you can't have a deep, thought-provoking conversation, really spill your heart, and be understood, by your man every now and then, while you are just "living" your comfortable, otherwise dull, day-to-day life together. Boys will be boys, sometimes. But underneath it all, there has to be a real man.

That's my two cents, if you wanted it.

Follow your heart and your dreams, as corny as it sounds. :nod:
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Re: {Evarette's Scrapbook} "Wonder Fool"

Postby Evarette Karmine on February 20th, 2010, 5:53 am

Wonderment.

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Today I decided to get the dogs out to the park in time to say farewell to all the snow before it melted away. Near my house, there is a park/golf course that lies dormant through most of the winter months. The snow had blanketed the rolling hills of the sculpted course, and the clean sheets of white was just too tempting. (I have a thing about romping through fresh snow. I love it.)

So, we set off. In the middle of the course there is a lake, flanked by two hills. You do not see the lake at first, until you start to top one of the hills and cross down it...thus facing the hill across the lake. As we crested the hill, the dogs and I startled a group of deer. They bolted from the lakeside, bounding up the hill with the white flags of their tails flashing in their wake. At my whistle, the dogs fell still so that we could watch the spectacle...

The last doe to top the hill hesitated...she paused, tossing a glance over her shoulder to study what must have appeared to be an unusual arrangement of figures on the opposite hill. It was then I noticed the writing...Into the hill's face, tread carefully out of the clean snow, some one had drawn a giant heart. Inside it, were the letters:

"C x J"


I raised my camera, and snapped a picture. The doe bounded off to join her own.

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Re: {Evarette's Scrapbook} "Wonder Fool"

Postby Evarette Karmine on February 20th, 2010, 8:19 am

Aspirations


In playing Evarette, I feel as though I am building upon a story and reading it as the same time...Its very exciting.

In the next few months, however, I'd like to focus on building her relationship with Ivar in preparation for reuniting with Dorian. I haven't fully decided upon the outcome of Dorian's reemergence in Eva's life. There will be some negative influences. There will be trauma. This will be a turbulent experience through which Evarette will emerge changed...Possibly with her brother, possibly without. Possibly without even Ivar...

I enjoy the kinship developing between Evarette and Vanator. :) The parallels in their life are difficult to ignore. They make a promising team...

A lot of ideas have been tumbling about in my head...and I'm slowly starting to piece them together, There are still plenty of pieces missing,though....

Suggestions are welcome, of course...Should any of you llamas wish to play a part in all the drama, please...let me know. ;)


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Re: {Evarette's Scrapbook} "Wonder Fool"

Postby Evarette Karmine on February 25th, 2010, 6:40 am

...Sometimes we need a little time...

...A touch of patience...

...A pinch of faith...

...Sometimes all we need is a chance...



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It was nearing the end of my shift. It had been one of those long, grueling, 12 hour days I was still growing accustomed to. I was busying myself with washing down the treatment tables, when I heard the call for assistance to the parking lot. Animal Control was bringing in a dog.

They'd found her in a ditch, unable to move. Our initial fear was she must have been struck by a car. We brought her in on a stretcher, doing our best to shift her as little as possible. Even in her weakened state, she offered up a flip of her tail as her brown eyes gazed up at us imploringly. Once we got her inside and set her on the treatment table, it became apparent she was covered in ticks.

When I say covered, I mean this dog's ears could not fold down for all the ticks attached to the insides of them. You could not run your hand through her fur without encountering hundreds of the swollen parasites. Most of the doctors and techs were creeped out by how many there were. I pulled a pair of hemostats from the drawer, along with a specimen jar filled with alcohol, and went to work. I kept having to sop up blood from her ears as we pulled the ticks off, so that it did not run down into her canal. The doctors performed their exam.

They could find no source for her paralysis. No signs of trauma. She was not underweight. Outwardly, she appeared to be a perfectly healthy dog. Except she could do no more than twitch her tail. I continued to pull of ticks, while others began to stand around and wait for further instructions, too grossed out by the amount of ticks still attached to the dog.

The doctors were reporting their speculations to the animal control officer who brought her in. Without any signs of trauma, the believed the cause to her paralysis to be either a neurological issue, or possibly tick paralysis. Despite the fact she was covered in the little bloodsuckers, tick paralysis is extremely rare. The doctors suggested that the officer keep her in the clinic overnight, give her a chance to see if she'd come to once we removed all the ticks.

Evidently, that option was either too hopeful, or too costly. The officer spoke briefly with his superiors. They decided to put her down.

Their decision reached me just as I had gently maneuvered the dog onto her other side so I could work on that side of her neck and face. I looked down, and this beautiful dog's warm, brown eyes still gazed up at me...so trusting.

"No... We have to give her a chance. We can't just put her down without giving her a chance."

The doctor sighed and eyed me over her clipboard..."We don't have much of a choice." She wasn't heartless. She didn't want to put the dog down anymore than I did. But, you learn a difficult lesson working in this field...you can't save them all.

"Let me take her. Will he sign her over to me? Let me get these ticks off of her tonight. If she doesn't improve by morning, we can euthanize her then. I just...I can't let this happen without giving her a chance."

The doctor nodded and turned to converse with my shift leader. They left the room to address the matter with the Animal Control officer. He agreed to sign the dog over to the clinic. After a few signatures, he left.

I stayed 2.5 hours past the end of my shift, plucking the ticks from this poor dog. I filled two specimen jars, and then some. By this time, she could just barely lift her head, and she appeared to be trying to move her legs. I fed her a bowl of food, and some water, both of which she consumed readily. After setting her up in a run for the night, with a thick bed made of blankets, I turned out the light and left.

This is what she looked like when I left her. I still had to support her head a bit to get her to lift it...

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The next morning, I arrived early. I came in the back door, where the kennel was, and went straight to the dog's run. She was laying in her bed of blankets at the back of her run, and I felt my heart sink a bit. Crouching down low, I stuck my fingers through the grate and kissed to her. To my utter amazement, she hoisted herself up onto all fours, and walked eagerly to greet me! I swung open the door and ran my hands all over her, smiling through the tears in my eyes.

To everyone I bumped into that morning, I proudly proclaimed: "She's walking!"

Later that afternoon, despite the dog's miraculous recovery, we discovered another disheartening piece of the equation. She was very heartworm positive. Having gotten this far, I was not about to give up on her now. I spoke briefly with my office manager, and had them draw up an estimate for what it would take to have her treated and spayed. They were very generous. I went home, and I began to share her story.

Through the good wishes and donations of many, 'Bailey' not only lived to walk, run, and play, but she is now free of heartworms, spayed, and living in the lap of luxury with her partner in crime, 'Ginny.' From day one, she was one of the sweetest, most loving dogs I have ever encountered, who had a kiss and a wag of her tail for everyone she met. She has a buoyant sense of humor, and delights in getting as much affection as possible.

These pictures were taken the day she amazed us all by walking...


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Thank you, Bailey...for showing me that sometimes, all we need is a chance, and some one who believes in us...

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This was one of my favorite rescues, who I encountered and saved last summer while working in Decatur, GA. I thought you guys would appreciate her story. :)
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Evarette Karmine
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Re: {Evarette's Scrapbook} "Wonder Fool"

Postby Evarette Karmine on February 27th, 2010, 5:40 am

There is very little in life that cannot be made better by a good pair of brightly colored socks!

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Evarette Karmine
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Re: {Evarette's Scrapbook} "Wonder Fool"

Postby Gossamer on February 28th, 2010, 6:01 am

Thank you for the nice picture.
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Re: {Evarette's Scrapbook} "Wonder Fool"

Postby Hex on March 26th, 2010, 8:41 pm

We miss you in chat Eva, you weren't in there to see Maea_Waydrop post this:

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