[Harper's Scrapbook] Listen While I Harper On.

by **Harper** on January 2nd, 2012, 12:17 am

Swansea -- Joanna Newsom

This is probably my favorite Joanna Newsom song, and I love this live performance. I think she's absolutely wonderful and it deserves to be on my scrapbook.

by **Harper** on January 19th, 2012, 4:32 am

Sigh. So I'm unhappy with myself. I think I've always been a little too self-critical, so I try to keep that in mind so that I don't kill myself emotionally just because I messed up on one thing.

But I feel like I'm not living up to my full potential, especially when it comes to writing. In Mizahar and in my own personal writings, I feel like I'm not really giving it my all and I'm just now realizing it. Or, maybe I'm just now acknowledging it.

I didn't pick a New Year's resolution this year because I couldn't think of one, but I just decided on mine: to be a better writer.

That's a really vague resolution, I guess, but it is what it is! The thing I have the hardest time with is details. Say I'm writing about a character sitting in a meadow of flowers. I have the hardest time describing the field in any more detail than "the flowers were beautiful as they danced in the wind." I mean, how on earth can I be an effective writer if I can't describe the character's surroundings? I dunno. I guess everyone has difficulties with some aspect of writing, but I feel like mine is a little more vast and difficult to cure than most.

Whatever. Life is good, I'm healthy, and school is going well for now. I shouldn't be complaining this much, lol.

by **Eridanus** on January 19th, 2012, 4:49 am

I think that's pretty normal. For me I'm more of a get-to-the-point writer, I like crazy plot twists and quirky characters. In terms of descriptions I prefer focusing on people's emotions and actions rather than inanimate objects, and when i describe said objects its usually to mirror the emotions of characters.

Methinks a good writer is not one who can write about everything. A good writer is one who knows what to expand on and what to merely leave at a few words, and consequently making the reader engrossed.

Just thought I'd share my 2 mizas on this matter~

by **Tabarnac** on January 19th, 2012, 7:57 am

I'd say don't beat yourself up, Garrett. The best way to get better is to keep doing it, always writing through blocks even if what you write to get through them isn't good. You have to do a lot of bad writing before you gain the skill to make it really good, especially in your own estimation. Although I never think mine is good, so do as I say not as I do!

"There is a vitality, a life force, an energy, a quickening that is translated through you into action, and because there is only one of you in all of time, this expression is unique. And if you block it, it will never exist through any other medium and it will be lost. The world will not have it. It is not your business to determine how good it is nor how valuable nor how it compares with other expressions. It is your business to keep it yours clearly and directly, to keep the channel open. You do not even have to believe in yourself or your work. You have to keep yourself open and aware to the urges that motivate you. Keep the channel open. ... No artist is pleased. [There is] no satisfaction whatever at any time. There is only a queer divine dissatisfaction, a blessed unrest that keeps us marching and makes us more alive than the others." -- Martha Graham to Agnes DeMille

So I think what's most important is to find your voice and stick to it. Worrying about whether it's good or not is just going to get in the way.

You might also want to pick up the book Art and Fear. It's a quick read, but a lot of helpful insights. Just my two cents.

by **Harper** on January 22nd, 2012, 7:46 pm

I think both of you made valid points, and it actually makes me feel better, haha. So thank you both! I should just have more confidence and work on bettering my own personal style more than trying to mold it into something I think other people will prefer, I suppose. Write for myself, not for others; that kinda thing.

*****

So I got five goldfish! I got an aquarium for Christmas (a twenty gallon tank) and I finally got around to setting it up two weeks ago. Then I let it run for, well, for two weeks so that it could set up a homeostasis and to make sure everything was running thoroughly. Then last night, my mom and I went to Petsmart and I bought the five prettiest goldfish I saw. :3

I bought two black moor gold fish, which I named Huginn and Muninn, (which mean "Thought" and "Memory" in Old Norse) from Old Norse mythology. I named them that because they were black, like ravens, but also because Huginn and Muninn always fascinated me.

Then I bought two Pearlscale goldfish in which I named Sawdust (the darker colored one) and Diamonds (the lighter one; its scales actually do remind me of diamonds, lol) after the song Sawdust & Diamonds by Joanna Newsom because it's one of my favorites.

The last fish I got is a Fantail goldfish, and it's also a calico. The colors and metallic shimmer of its scales reminded me a lot of nebulae and stars, so I was going to name is Cosmia after another Joanna Newsom song, but then I remembered that cosmia was a genus of moths. I love moths, but I didn't want to name my goldfish after a moth lol, no matter how much it reminded me of space. So, instead, I just named it Cosmos, because that actually has something to do with space.

So, all in all, I have: Huginn, Muninn, Sawdust, Diamonds, and Cosmos. Yap. And I'm very happy with them. I sat and watched them for about thirty minutes this morning which is kind of lame, but I have a thing for aquatic animals.

by **Harper** on January 24th, 2012, 3:03 am

Humph. Today I was confronted by a fellow student. He asked me, "Are you on drugs? You always look like you're on drugs."

I wasn't that shocked when he asked, because I've actually been asked that before. I've been told multiple times that I always look "glossy-eyed" and "spaced out," and I've been told that my voice is really slow and groggy sounding. I guess I just don't realize that I talk like that, 'cause it seems normal to me.

But I remembered reading something about my astrological sign, the Pisces, and that they often times seem like they're "in another world," which makes sense for me because I daydream probably 60% of the day away. So I just like to think to myself that I only seem this way because I'm a Pisces!

Which might not seem very logical; I don't really believe in the astrological signs and horoscopes and stuff, it's just kind of interesting. I identify a lot with many of the aspects of the Pisces. If I could tell it to new people I meet without sounding like a total weirdo, I'd tell them to go read up on Pisces before they become good friends with me so they can make sure they're ready to handle my many doubts and emotional breakdowns, and my many withdrawals from social interaction and responsibility.

But I dunno. Just thought it was kind of interesting.

by **Tabarnac** on January 25th, 2012, 12:56 am

Pisces. That makes sense.

I haven't really done it for this game because it isn't set on earth, but I usually do natal charts for my characters because they help me develop a more three dimensional understanding of my character's psychology, and often helps me tease out some extra tidbits. So I'm a little rusty with it since starting Mizahar, but yes. It is fun stuff. And no, I am not at all like my sign.

O.o

by **Harper** on January 26th, 2012, 6:39 am

Honestly, that's not a bad tool for character development, Dani. I might use that in the future.

So I'm finally stepping up to the plate! I've officially requested to develop Embalming. Which is totally a big step for me, because I never like to put myself out there because I always feel as if I'm setting myself up for failure. I'm a total optimist, obviously.

But yeah, I'm kind of a science freak and I already knew a good bit about preservation and chemicals to use a such, so I figured that embalming would be a great place for me to start. I really want to contribute more to the lore of Miz and stuff (and I secretly want to be an AS somewhere specifically but I won't talk much about that because I won't be 18 until March and yeah).

But I've been researching a LOT for the past two days, and I've already got an outline drawn up and everything. I'm talking to the Founders in the HD right now about it and I'm really hoping that I get permission and get the chance to develop it.

Now, small discussion on being a ST: I would really love to be a ST because I want to help contribute to Mizahar as much as I can. I've only been here for a little while, but still, I love everything about it. I love the fact that it's so creative and people can come here and invest so much time into a world built entirely from scratch. And I know a lot of places in Miz need ST's and I'm so willing to help out almost anywhere. I do have a specific place that I want to work, but I don't think I'll get it. Which is okay. Honestly, just the chance to help out would be great.

Okay, enough rambling from me. Update complete~

by **Harper** on January 28th, 2012, 4:37 pm

So I might be social today. Which is weird for me. If it's a weekend, I'm most likely not leaving my house at all. But there's this new exhibit at SciPort about the human body and I want to see it so badly, and so do three of my classmates, so we all decided that it'd be cool to go see it together.

But that just means that I'm going to have to awkwardly stumble around for conversation topics and attempt to not be socially impaired. But whatever, at least I still get to see the exhibit~

Also, this is what I do in my Psych 101 class:

I call it "People With Problems." I also drew a whole other page full, but I'm too lazy to take a picture. So yeah.

by **Harper** on February 5th, 2012, 5:26 am

Log_No//001

This is Jr. Medical Officer Edith Marce, and this is Log No. 001. I am aboard the Widow 27. I have been aboard the ship for three months now and we have only just arrived at the outer ring of Saturn.

But something has gone terribly wrong. I was tending to a patient in the Urgent_Care_Unit_2 when the Hospital_Wing's alarm system went on alert. Many problems began arising at that point, mostly the alarm of the patients. I had to sedate three different patients with Amobarbital_Syringes in order to maintain control.

GCAI [Governing_Computer_Artificial_Intelligence], or Kay, as she has been informally named by the other crew members, has informed us that something has gone wrong on the Main_Bridge of the Widow. Some of the Sr. Medical Officers have been saying that we might be under attack. All basic communications have been jammed and we don't have any Tech_Workers based in the Hospital_Wing to un-jam the signals.

Kay is still active but has told us that she cannot access any other Bridges other than the Medical_Wings. The Main_Access_Points leading to any other Bridges have been secured and locked down.

So we are trapped inside the medical wing. There are 37 Medical_Officers here at the moment, 29 patients, several Office_Workers and one Tech_Worker.

We have been stranded for two days already; we are quickly running out of provisions and have no access to the Gardening_Bridge to gain access to more food.

Hopefully, help will come soon. Simply information to what is going on out there on the outside would be helpful. Anything.

Logging off,
Edith.

***

So I randomly wrote that a few days ago. I have no idea what it's about, really. Edith is stuck in the medical wing of a "space ship" (I hate that term for some reason), she has no information why, and they're going to starve to death soon.

GCAI, or Kay, is the Widow's main computer. Uh, think of Drainira from Sahova, except she's not a corrupt golem out to get her own body... She's just a extremely advanced computer AI that can follow complicated commands and respond to dialogue.

So I dunno. I was just bored and decided to write that, and then I decided to upload it here. Yeah.