[Flashback] A Ray of Light through the Sorrow [solo]

[K'Sabe]

26 of Summer 487 AV The sun shone down on the White Isle, the sky was clear and a brilliant shade of blue and a cool breeze kept the temperature in check together with the birdsongs and a soothing sound of waves ently rolling over the sand it would have been a perfect day for K'Sabe. She loved sitting of the beach with the waves tickling her bare feet but today she was worried. Her anxiety eased now that she was alone but the atmospheres back in her home would bring her mood right down to the bottom again, the lingering sadness of her grandmothers passing still hung in the air though no one showed it outwards anymore. The pain still tore at the young Konti's heart and as the atmosphere in her home was heavy with a collective mourning, though it was starting to fade, her sorrow deepened as she took on all the negative feelings more easily than the happy ones. Closing her sea green eyes Sabe looked right into the sun and smiled as the warmth flooded over her like a wave and seemed to wash away her troubles. Soon she'd go back now that she felt better, her oldest sister was due to give birth any day now and Sabe was eager to see her first niece. A melodic chirping caused Sabe to open her eyes and look around the beach, it was different than the normal birds that usually called the beach and sea their home. Sabe wasn't sure what kind of bird it was, a finch or a tit maybe, it was more at home in the forest though she believed from her small knowledge of birds. A small brownish grey bird with a lighter more beige stomach jumped across a flat rock and picked lightly at the stone. When it lifted its head and chirped Sabe saw it had a bright white collar framed by black that formed a triangle shape at its chest. The slightly curved crest gave away it was a tit, a crested tit more exactly. "Hey there little fellow," Sabe said, smiling at the bird. At the sound of her voice the small bird froze and turned its black eyes on the young Konti, cocking its head to the side, but at least it didn't fly away. "What are you doing out here? Are you hungry?" Sabe slowly moved her hand to see if she had anything in her pocket, she often fed birds on the Isle and so her pockets often had leftover seeds. Smiling triumphantly the girl brought up a handful of seeds that she spread out on one of the flatter stones, watching in delight as a the tit hopped forward and picked on the seeds. When she saw the tit better she noticed a small black dot inside the pure white collar, she had never seen a crested tit with a dot there before. "I'm glad you like them, I'll bring more next time I'm here, I promise." Without looking at the sun Sabe knew she needed to head back, her mother would already be annoyed over her long break and today Sabe couldn't take any negative atmosphere's. Sighing the Konit rose and brushed off her knee length dove grey skirt, it had once reached her ankles but Sabe had "accidentally" ripped it and now she refused to get a new one. Hoping she'd see the bird again Sabe turned and headed back in the direction of Mura, her mother probably had chores for her to do but maybe she'd get some time to practice her drawing skills later. Maybe I'll even try to do a drawing of that tit, Sabe thought to herself as she stopped where the sand ended and put on her sandals before heading home in a half run half skip, her calm and collected family would be displeased with her again if they saw how she behaved outside their home. Sabe did slow down to a walk when she reached the entrance to Mura, but as she couldn't let out her energy with running the young Konti started picking with her tunic, some sand left on her skin and her long pale blonde hair. It wasn't easy being so much more energetic and bouncy than a Konti normally was. Perhaps my sisters daughter will be more like me, Sabe thought and smiled as she reached her home.

[K'Sabe]

When Sabe had returned home she'd been scolded as expected but the young Konti was glad that her mother didn't have time for an entire speech about the importance of finding what you wanted to do. Though the words where true, Sabe liked a lot off stuff but nothing overly much, the whole tirade had gotten old years ago, despite that Sabe never changed her behaviour. For now her mother was at least satisfied that Sabe had been aspiring to draw lately though she didn't understand her youngest daughter's dislike to follow in the family traditions. So far every close family member Sabe knew was doing something artistic, her mother was a brilliant seamstress and a potter, her oldest sister was an artist using mostly oil and ink, her next oldest sister was a skilled crafter making beautiful pottery and wooden sculptures and her final sister made silver jewellery. Sabe had inherited the want and need to create things, her main artistic vein lay in ink and graphite drawings but it was not something that she wanted to do full time. At the young age of ten Sabe had not yet gotten the feeling that she wanted to change her life around and leave Mura but she felt deep inside that she was too different from others. Sighing to herself the young girl finished cleaning the kitchen, her punishment for today, now she was to train her skills in whatever skill she wanted to hone. While she wanted to go down to the White Harbour to see all the trade ships and maybe be lucky enough to find a merchant who sold animals and who also would be willing to let her help with the animals she couldn't leave the house for the rest of the day or until she could show some progress in her skills. "Don't make me have to act all motherly now Sabe," a melodic voice said behind the girl. L'Saiya walked inside the room with some effort, her slim and feminine form seemed too fragile to be able to support her large stomach, but Sai was stronger than she looked and had handled her pregnancy well. "I won't," Sabe agreed, Sai was her favourite sister, one who always tried to understand Sabe despite being a classic Konti herself and so Sabe rarely went against Sai's wishes. "But it's so boring just sitting inside doing nothing." Okay not nothing but in Sabe's eyes her training was just as boring as just sitting still doing nothing. "What do you say if I help you out with a drawing or two then I take you to the beach so mother cannot blame you for skipping out?" Sai offered, a slender white hand resting over her stomach, the other on her lower back, but Sabe being so young didn't notice the small sign of pain and she was too inexperienced to read the details out of the atmosphere's. "Really? You're the best sister ever Saiai," Sabe exclaimed, resorting to an old nickname she'd had for her sister as a baby when she played with words. The young Konti happily hugged her sister, being careful to avoid pressure on Sai's stomach, still the older Konti jerked a little as if in pain but just shrugged it off until a larger wave of pain racked her body. Now Sabe could feel the air being heavy with confusion, fear and also joy, and it both scared and intrigued the girl. Saiya put her hands over her stomach in an effort to sense why the baby came almost a week too early but her gnosis mark from Avalis could not help her there. "Is everything alright Sai?" The young Konti asked, anxiety audible in her voice and large green eyes. "Of course." But another contraction caused her to topple and grab onto a table for balance. "The baby is just a bit early. Go and get mother and tell her to come to the Opal Temple." Her voice was firm and unyielding, leaving no room for arguments. "I'll be fine, you'll see, in not too long you'll have a little niece to help care for," Sai smiled shakily while ushering Sabe out of the house. While seeing her beloved sister head in the opposite direction, being helped by other Konti Sabe set off in a sprint to where her mother had her small shop. All the while her heart pounded fiercely in her small chest, it was just a week early, nothing unusual about it but still Sabe felt very afraid.

[K'Sabe]

Waiting was something Sabe would grow to dislike, for the ten year old sitting at the opal Temple to hear anything about her sister was wearing on her, and the many feelings in the air was confusing and it started giving her a headache. Eventually she'd learn how to sort through all the impressions a bit and ease their force on her mind but that was years into the future. Her mother and sister was inside with Sai but so far no one had bother to inform the young girl off the situation. To help keep her mind occupied and ease her anxiety Sabe had gotten her hands on some paper and ink, her idea was to create a vase full of Sai's favourite flowers, bareberries. Sitting hunched over her paper Sabe was slowly getting a cramp in her left hand, she gripped the brush too hard and tensed her muscles instead of keeping a steady but gentle grip so her movements got fluid and sweeping. The anxiety over her sister kept her from being entirely concentrated on the flower she was trying to draw, causing the lines to get wobbly and even broken in some places. Taking a deep breath she tried to relax, cracking her knuckles she then tried again, gently pressing the brush to the paper, forming a smoothly curved shape to form another bell shaped flower, an improvement from the rest of the wobbly lines of the flower. Continuing with adding another flower Sabe was only partially distracted and her thoughts soon wandered back to her sister, despite being promised it was going to be okay she felt something in the atmosphere she didn't like. When she was done with the painting, not that it was a master piece with all the shaky lines, blobs of ink and broken and then repaired lines but still in some way Sabe liked it. The doors opened and her mother came out and Sabe jumped up eager to hear the news but was immediately crushed by the waves of sadness practically rolling of her mother, her comforting hand on Sabe's shoulder did nothing to cushion the blow and Sabe just wanted to run away from it all, run away from the declaration she feared the most. I'm sorry Sabe but Sai has passed away. There was nothing the healers could do, the birth went wrong and she didn't make it through surgery." Kya'ni said softly, her deep blue eyes hollow with pain. The air was so filled with pain and sadness it overwhelmed Sabe and the young Konti pulled away from her mother, hoping the loss of contact would ease the emotions flowing over her. It didn't. Her brush fell from Sabe's hand and as the wooden handle hit the floor with a loud noise Sabe ran. Ran as hard as she could. But she didn't know where and neither did she care. Her mother's worried call she ignored and continued her reckless speed, dodging people and objects, pain shot up her legs for every step, her lungs ached and throat burned. Finally stopping she realized she had reached all the way home, tiredly she stepped inside and enjoyed a cold drink, feeling it sooth her dry throat and gave her some energy back. But for several chimes Sabe walked around the house, she didn't want to do anything but neither did she want to just sit still. She wanted to escape the pain, the feeling of loss, that ne part in her life was ripped away from her. When she couldn't take the silence anymore Sabe left the house and just headed off again, not thinking, but this time she didn't run. A soft whisper of water across sand and the loud calls of sea birds told her she'd reached the sea, and as the familiar sounds washed over her like the waves of the sea, and under the sun that cast a glow on her pale skin and coloured her hair a more golden colour Sabe finally broke down and cried. Salty tears rolled off her cheeks making er eyes burn slightly, her nose instantly clogged and her breathing increased as she sank down onto the sand crying till she had no more tears to show the world. Her slim frame continued to shake with dry sobs but no one was nearby to see and console the young girl, and that was what she wanted, to have no one influence her emotions with their own, that would only intensify her pain.

[K'Sabe]

A familiar chirping caused Sabe to wipe stray tears from her face, and probably forming lines on her dirty, tear streaked skin, and look around for the bird, once again it was a forest living bird that shouldn't be on the beach otherwise. Rubbing her burning eyes she saw a small tit jumping around nearby, a crested tit just like the one from this morning, and as the bird continued to jump closer she saw a dark spot on its white collar. It was the same bird. "Hi again, Sabe said and sniffled, her nose was clogged making her voice sound funny, like she was sick. The bird turned its head to her, looking at her with black eyes, how weird it may sound Sabe felt like the bird actually listened, though it may not understand her words the tit perhaps could know her tone of voice like dogs did. "I know I promised you more seeds the next time I came here, but I have none unfortunately." Chirping melodically the bird hopped closer on thin legs, picking at the sand all the while keeping a wary eye on the young Konti. Moving slowly Sabe stroke back her ashen hair and searched through her pockets, even turning them inside out, but couldn't find anymore seeds to give the bird. "Sorry little one, you'll have to find your own food." Talking with the bird actually made her feel a little better as she could concentrate on something other than Sai and the fact that she would never see her sister again. Again the painful ache hit her chest and if she had not just cried her eyes would have flooded again, how could a person so full of life just suddenly be gone, robbed of life, an empty shell without a soul? This time two had been robbed of the gift of life, Sai's unborn daughter would never see the light of day, feel the wind on her pale skin or the wonderful feeling of being submerged in water and see what amazing life existed under the surface. A series of sharp stings on her hand snapped her out of the depressive thoughts, looking down Sabe saw the crested tit stand beside her and picked on her skin and then continued to her pants, maybe it could smell where the seeds had been earlier. Not daring to move Sabe sat like frozen in time as the bird pecked and jumped its way until it sat perched on top of her knee, cocking its head and looked straight at her. A surge of joy over the bird's apparent trust in her was quickly followed by guilt. Was she really allowed to feel good on the same day as her sister's passing? That couldn't entirely chase off her satisfaction that the tit had deemed her safe to be close. Maybe this one has been fed by humans before? Sabe thought, slowly holding her hand up nearby the bird, her sea green eyes gaining a glint of their usual liveliness as the bird cautiously stared at Sabe's but didn't fly away but took a small jump closer instead. "Aren't you a sweet one, the Konti girl said smiling slightly albeit sadly. This time around the bird didn't react at her voice, it only cocked its head slightly and chirped a few melodious tunes, sounding a bit like zee zee zee. The tit took off and flew in circles around the Konti before gaining some height, Sabe felt a bit disappointed as it left but not even a chime later the tit returned and landed on her hand this time, its tiny claws pricking her skin slightly as it hopped around a bit before stopping to look into Sabe's sea green eyes. Quietly at first, then louder Sabe tried whistling in a tune imitating the tit's call, it was not even close to being similar a crested tit's sound. But the tit looked at her, with it's head slightly tilted it seemed as if the bird was thinking, then it broke out into song again, melodically shifting between tones and strength. Trying again the girl whistled trying to change the sound by blowing in short bursts but never managed to chirp in the same way the tit could. Instead she tried to ignore the chirping sound and concentrated on getting the tone right, to imitate the different tones, the highs and lows of the song. Finally she managed to produce a sound similar to the bird song and the tit quieted immediately and stared at her. Again she tried whistling and than the bird chimed in, singing in a duet with Sabe's crude version of it's beautiful call, their duet watched over by the sinking sun and the open sea caressing the sand with cool waves. At last as the sun started dipping past the horizon Sabe's lips were almost sore from whistling so much, and she felt out of breath as well. The small tit shook its light brown and beige feathers, flapping its wings a bit and pecked at her hand one last time before taking flight, soaring upwards to the sky continuing its song. Feeling lighter inside Sabe decided to head home again lest her mother got worried and therefore angry at her for being out late. But for now though her sister's death felt a slight bit easier to bear, and maybe she'd find her new friend again to have another duet to rid the Konti of worries once more.

[K'Sabe]

Waking up to the sound of rain smattering on the roof Sabe first thought she'd caught a cold until she remembered the events from yesterday and her runny nose and burning eyes was reminiscent from her endless tears. Slowly she got up from beneath her warm covers and washed her face and hands before dressing in a pair of clean clothes, a soft, brown full length skirt and a warm dark blue long sleeved shirt. She felt refreshed from the cold water and a bit more ready to face the new day, the first day in a future missing an important piece. Sabe heard noises from downstairs and knew her mother at least was up and about but the young Konti felt no eagerness to met anyone, she had a vague memory of her door being opened last night so her mother knew she was home. Seating herself at her small desk Sabe stared through her window, the beautiful white city seemed grey in the rain, it was fitting somehow, that even the gods mourned Sai's passing and Makutsi let the rain fall to show their sympathy. Maybe it was absurd to believe the gods would have known Sai but it was a comfort to Sabe at least, and she knew that somewhere Avalis mourned the loss of one off her daughters. Following the rain drops with empty green eyes, how they made pathways and intersections on her window without really seeing them Sabe couldn't hinder her memories surfacing. Sai laughing as she tried to teach Sabe to draw and the younger ended up with more ink on herself than on the paper, how her oldest sister had brought her around on Mura whenever she could, and even into the Silver Woods for meditation, Sai's pale skin, white hair and light yet vibrant turquoise eyes made her seem like a cold beauty yet she was warm and always was close to a laugh, more like otherworldly bells than a mortal's laugh, that always brought a smile to others. Tears gently rolled down her pale cheeks and dripped off her chin, but she had neither the energy nor tears left to give in to a full scale breakdown. Sighing she went up and washed her face again, relishing in the cool, cleansing feeling and she was pondering whether to go down or not, when she started taking in the atmosphere, it was fainter than normal as she was on a different floor but she could quickly sense the sadness and emptiness flooding the house but also, strangely enough, a trickle of joy and comfort. A weak cry snapped Sabe out off her concentration, it was the cry of a newborn babe, a slightly rasping cry that escalated into a wail. A baby. What was a baby doing in the house? Curious despite herself Sabe went out in the hallway and snuck down the stairs, her feet clad in wool socks making no more noise than a mouse. Stopping by the entrance to the kitchen Sabe saw her sister Tara hold an incredibly small bundle in her arms, gently rocking it back and forth, a frown creased Sabe's forehead as she realised the small bundle was the baby, a cluster of white showed it was a Konti. "Morning Sabe," her sister said quietly. A small smile graced her lips as she cast a warm blue gaze at the infant. "Say hello to Toscaya, your niece." Sabe just stared at first, niece? What was Tara going on about, Sai had died in childbirth, the wheels turned slowly but then Sabe realised that Sai's unborn daughter had survived. Staring at the baby a small smile spread over Sabe's face and when Tara gently placed Toscaya in Sabe's arms her throat latched together and tears gathered in her eyes, but not with sadness this time. The newborn Konti blinked and though her eyes didn't focus Sabe felt like little Toscaya stared at her, the baby's face scrunched up, she started crying and waved her tiny white arms around. Feeling helpless to stop the baby's crying Sabe rocked her in her arms, not as smooth as Tara had but it did calm the infant a bit and when Toscaya's flailing arms caught Sabe's outstretched hand she instinctively grabbed on, her small fingers managed to grip one finger in a tight grasp. Her sobs quieted down and her deep violet eyes looked upwards, meeting Sabe's green ones. The young Konti felt a pull like a might wave sent by Laviku tore at her, the weight of Toscaya and her firm grip on Sabe's finger spread waves of affection and joy through her body and the endless darkness of sorrow and pain in front off her was pierced by a ray of light. OOCFirst I intended for Sabe to only meet the bird but then Toscaya just wrote herself into the thread:)

[Cachet]

K'sabe : K'sabe SKILLS Observation:4 Socialization:2 Bordkeeping:2 Animal Husbandry:3 LORE Losing a Sister Losing a Grandmother Experiencing Hope through birth Anything seem out of place? Any questions please feel free to contact me ASAP.