[Abashai's Scrapbook] A Breach in the Wall

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The player scrapbooks forum is literally a place for writers to warm-up, brainstorm, keep little scraps of notes, or just post things to encourage themselves and each other. Each player can feel free to create their own thread - one per account - and use them accordingly.

[Abashai's Scrapbook] A Breach in the Wall

Postby Ronan on November 24th, 2011, 4:32 pm

Happy thanksgiving Mike, I did a tiny bit of RPing with you, and I had good fun :) I hope everything is going well with your family...

@Sama'el: :O Remind me why the hell Ronan is catching up with you? LOL
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[Abashai's Scrapbook] A Breach in the Wall

Postby Jameson Kindle on November 24th, 2011, 4:39 pm

^ I commend you for that reference.


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[Abashai's Scrapbook] A Breach in the Wall

Postby Bolden Denusk on November 24th, 2011, 5:09 pm

For Mike:

tea4Mike.jpg
tea4Mike.jpg (11.07 KiB) Viewed 531 times
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[Abashai's Scrapbook] A Breach in the Wall

Postby Bolden Denusk on November 24th, 2011, 5:15 pm

My favorite song in the world for Mike. <3

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[Abashai's Scrapbook] A Breach in the Wall

Postby Abashai on November 29th, 2011, 3:04 pm

*sigh*
I am not sure what to say. I have trolled Miza many times in the past month. I have read the posts in my scrapbook, and what has been said about me in others. I am touched, deeply. I feel like a heel for walking out on so many friends. I know I have hurt some of you, some may have even left because of it. I stand behind leaving, I had to do it, and I still am working on the issues that caused my departure. I am an addict, I have an addictive nature. We joke about being addicted to Miza...but I am, to roleplaying in general in fact. I need to write. Its the latest in a chain of gaming addictions. Behind me is a trail of RPG's, TCG's and computer games that I had to lay aside because my love for them eclipsed all other things in my life. Mizahar had become the latest.

But Miza was different, it was not just a game. There were relationships. Online friendships are a new animal to me, and as easy as it is to disappear online (and it sounds corny), those feelings don't disappear so easily from the heart. Walking away was not as easy as I had thought.

I think it is only fair to let you know where I am at. I want to come back, but I hesitate. I have to know I can discipline myself, I have to know my family is alright with it, and I have a mess to clean up here.

And I can't be who I was. How I behave myself must align with who I am. Jen, I need to be the Mike you met in August 2009. The one who told you he doesn't do sex scenes, who was so backward he had to be coaxed to even enter chat. Please don't see this as a judgement on anyone but myself, and don't think I have not had the time of my life with these characters on Miza. But if I cone back, I don't know if I can play the PC's I have created. If I return, I may retire some or all of them. that in itself is hard to think about, I am attached to them. I can't juggle 30 threads anymore, or stay in chat all day, as much as I love it.

I guess what I am saying is ... I still need time. I will make a decision, because I know there are PC's attached or involved with mine, and I have already been unfair by keeping you hanging for a month. But I hope that I can show my face now, and not have to sneak into chat under an anonymous account to speak with you. I guess I am asking for forgiveness from those I have hurt, angered or offended.

I miss you all terribly.
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[Abashai's Scrapbook] A Breach in the Wall

Postby Aidara on November 29th, 2011, 4:52 pm

Mike,

I read your scrap on my phone, jet lagged as all hell and with barely any sleep. And yet it still got me out of bed and scrounging for my laptop so could reply as quickly as possible. Why? Because I know exactly what you are talking about.

How many times is it that I've had to come find you after a month or two of break that I just had to take for my own mental health? Twice? and what did I ask you, every time? "Do you hate me?"

I think you remember what you said. That you could not possibly hate me, not only for the fact that we were friends but because I was doing it was completely necessary. I knew, deep down, that my friends would forgive me... but I felt the need to grovel and ask for it anyway.

I think I know you well enough to predict that you're going to try and grovel as well, and if I've learned anything it's that the people here, on Miz, are so accepting that it's not necessary. Your friends who love you will forgive you without a second thought... because you did what you had too.

(It's weeeeeeird, me giving you advice. Right?!)

Semi-almost-welcome back, Mike. :P
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[Abashai's Scrapbook] A Breach in the Wall

Postby Gossamer on November 29th, 2011, 5:04 pm

.
Response


I wrote a forthright response, but it was incredibly rude and hurtful, so I just pm'd it to you instead. Someone needs to do it so I volunteered. See your inbox on Abashai. Enough is enough. You remind me of a celebrity away at rehab.
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[Abashai's Scrapbook] A Breach in the Wall

Postby Jameson Kindle on November 30th, 2011, 1:08 am

There comes a time in everyone's life when they have to do what they have to do. Life is hard, and it's full of messes. We will always have to do things we don't want to do, but that have to be done. I don't have to point out that you're going through that now...

I just wanted to tell you good luck, and we've all been thinking about you. It'd be great to have you back and get to that (or a, depending on your PC's) thread we talked about when I first came around. :)

Mizahar would love to have you back, but no rush, and no pressure. Settle your differences, and hold your head up, man. We want what's best for you, I'm sure.

It's great hearing from you, Mike.


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[Abashai's Scrapbook] A Breach in the Wall

Postby Sama'el Sunsinger on November 30th, 2011, 2:17 am

Um, you can't come back unless I get mad sex scenes. I mean... never mind. Hope all's well in Mikeland.
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[Abashai's Scrapbook] A Breach in the Wall

Postby Abashai on November 30th, 2011, 1:16 pm

Sorry for the kind of dramatic back and forth indecisive stuff. I am going to come back, I just can't go full bore like I was. For now all my PCs are still inactive. Thanks for the kind words.

Dani...you are a great guy, but no sex for you.:)
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