[Abashai's Scrapbook] A Breach in the Wall

by **Jameson Kindle** on October 2nd, 2011, 10:50 pm

Well very nice.

I'll be sure to drop her the compliment.

by **Abashai** on October 17th, 2011, 12:05 pm

The hardest thing I have ever done...

I am 45 years old. Suffice it to say i have had to do some difficult things. I have had to tell bosses I quit. I have had to break up with girls that I loved. I have had to make confessions that have nearly destroyed my marriage. But what I am about to do is the hardest thing I have ever had to do. I am leaving Mizahar.

If it were just the game I was leaving, it would not be so difficult. We have all had to endure vanishing RP partners and abandoned threads, I think me above all. But what I have to do goes further. In reality, I am disappearing from online. That means ending friendships I have made over the past two years. It is a drastic thing to do, you might say. Well, the reasons are so compelling, critical and dire that I would make the painful decision to say goodbye to people I love for it.

My marriage is on the rocks, my job is not getting done and I am in constant distraction. I have tried to discipline myself, to control my activities. Jen knows I have pondered it for quite a while. Mizahar is not responsible for my problems. It is such is a wonderful, incredible place and it and all of you are so captivating that I want to totally lose myself in it. Mizahar is not the cause of my dilemmas, but my addiction to it is a symptom of a larger issue. My heart has been unfaithful to my family and my God. Yes, I am a christian, if a fallen one. Regardless of your beliefs, God is real to me...as real as any of you. 18 years ago I gave my life to him. Then I took it back, because I thought I knew better how to find my way. I set up idols above him, Mizahar being the greatest. I have not had peace since then.

I do not regret meeting my friends here. I love them. If I have told you I love you...then I do, and not like I love donuts or a sunny fall day, I mean I love you. You are some of the dearest, closest people to me. Each of you are amazing in your own unique way. But I have divided among many the love reserved for the one who has joined her life with mine. In my heart I have been unfaithful to her. I have made a mess, and people are going to be hurt. I regret that more than anything. I cannot express the grief I feel right now. But I also have a deep conviction that this is what I HAVE to do.

I don't expect everyone to understand my reasons, I wouldn't either, without knowing everything about me. You may even be offended, and I regret that, but I also understand. If things were different, I would never leave this place. I considered just vanishing without a word, thinking it would be easier for me. But I couldn't, I had to tell you why, I owe you all that much.

I may be gone, but I can never forget who you are, and to covet good things for your lives. I hope in time you can forgive me, wish me well, pray to your gods for me, as I will be to mine for you.

With all my heart, I wish you all health, happiness and peace. Goodbye.

by **Kikue** on October 17th, 2011, 12:32 pm

Make sure you are happy, otherwise I'll come and haunt you.

Nah.... But now for real: Sorry to hear that m8. I hope everything fares you well and that you get your life sorted out. I wish you the best of luck and much happiness in life.

by **Cayenne** on October 17th, 2011, 1:05 pm

Hey Mike,

I've thoroughly enjoyed writing with you, and I just want to wish you good luck and I hope that you do find peace and happiness.

Hope to see you on AIM, dude. <3

by **Siiri** on October 17th, 2011, 1:16 pm

Hey Bro,

As a fellow married man, I think I know what you're going through, more than you or anyone can ever know. We are not perfect, but we can strive to be better. And I applaud you for choosing that. I hope everything turns out for the better for you, and I hope in time you can come back to us as well.

Wishing you all best, Mike.

"You can’t predict how people will act... But you can control how you’ll respond. In the end, that’s what really matters."
-Commander Shepard, Mass Effect

by **Satu** on October 17th, 2011, 5:10 pm

Be well and happy dear friend. I understand.

by **Gossamer** on October 17th, 2011, 6:15 pm

We love you and you know you always have a home here if you need it.

by **Bolden Denusk** on October 17th, 2011, 6:17 pm

Aw Mike, I'll miss you greatly! :'(

Thank you for your friendship and good rp we've shared. :'(

by **Rista** on October 17th, 2011, 6:33 pm

May happiness always be with you.

by **Xalet** on October 17th, 2011, 6:35 pm

Good luck my man. The more I read up on Mizahar, the more I saw that you had become a part of it's history. Best wishes for you, and if circumstances find you back here again one day, perhaps I'll be fortunate enough to write some history with you.