[Jilitse's Scrapbook] Ichor for sale

[Jilitse]

On being nice to new people, new writers I have had my share of heartfully helping new players only to find them disappearing after a while, or only to realize that they are r3t@rds. I have made it my mantra to go out of my way to help in anyway I can. It's one of the lessons I learned in life, you have to give people a chance. New people in the site are generally characterized by people who are misinformed, and if they claim to be veteran, their ego states that they know better than anyone in the site. We all started that way. I chose an undead because it was a race I thought I was familiar with, only to realize later on that Mizahar is so unique that you have to adjust yourself, your RP knowledge, to its eccentricities. I don't mean that as a bad thing. I have stated this before, you can't say Mizahar is awesome until you have been around for a while. Now that statement of mine, still holds true, and my words when I say Mizahar is a very great place to get inspired to write, holds more water now. But I digress. My point is, people come here with a preconceived notion of what RP is, they have their expectations. More often than not they will insist in these expectations, plans, some will be unbending and others will take a little convincing. Not everyone is easy to talk to. When I was introduced to this site I wanted a Konti-Symenestra, whatever that was, but my good friend pointed me to the wiki and even talked to Jen for me. I got declined, of course. I got sad for a while but picked up my "awesome" idea and threw it in the trashbin because in Mizahar, that's where it belonged to, no matter how awesome a Spider Konti was. My point is, all of us had that weird idea that has to get trashed. The new people who come in Mizahar will have these kinds of ideas too and it doesn't stop with lone wolf kelvics. My only wish is for them to be kindly told that it won't work. This happens most of the time, but I have been seeing a trend where people seem borderline arrogant and diffident about the next lazy player who goes in chat. You have to give everyone a chance folks. If I wasn't too shy I would've jumped into chat before I even read anything. Actually I was in chat for a while before I ever finished my CS, I just avoided asking everyone how to do what. Treat the new players, no matter how suspicious they are, with respect and politeness. You don't need to threaten them with Founders getting angry. You don't need to be high nosed about the rules. There's always a nice polite way of telling them how to do things. Some people need a slight nudge and they'd take off the right direction. Instead of: Go read the wiki instead of asking people in chat Say: I'll answer your question if it can't be address by a guide Instead of: The founders will bite your head off because your name is incorrect Say: Is that your character's name? If not, then you will have to change it. Instead of: Being aggro about someone who didn't read the rules before joining/jumping into chat Say: Something about how you'd be glad to help them, and offer the Starting Guide Instead of: Outright rebuking a "awesome" idea that won't work in Mizahar Say: Offer them the closest thing to the idea, suggest an improvisation that will work in Miz You might say "wow Jili you're being a hypocrite". But fact is, I do give people a chance before I snap at them. This stemmed from a friend of mine who was a moderator in this forum boards that had a section for fanfiction. People wrote, and more people, new to fanfiction and writing, spawn stories. Some of them are poorly written. I got showed this script-style fanfic that had horrible punctuation and grammar, but had an awesome storyline. With the author asking for critique, I was advised to comment slightly on the grammar, but focus on the story. Which was opposite of what I would have done: take the piece to MS word and correct each spelling and grammar error. But fact is, I appreciated the story, once I got past through the bazillion ellipses and uncapitalized sentences. It was a lesson. The plot was better than any I could have managed on my own. I may have written a story better, tell it better, but I couldn't have thought of the plot meat like that noob writer did. I got told that I should not pretend to be an elite writer just because I could write better than a few people. I was humbled by said moderator, who to this day is one of the writers I respect the most. I made a vow that day that I will remember my first "novel" which I copied off from various books that I read to make it look "well written" - because I had the ideas but not the words. I will remember how I started as a sucky writer who lived off high school classmate praises. I will remember that writing skills takes time and an awful lot of effort on the writer's part and a lot of encouragement and praise from friends. And that every new writer needs a chance. And I will give it to them. How would you feel if someone you look up to say that your writing sucked and that your story's not worth reading? Terrible right? You might even stop the dream to write then and there. But on the other hand how would you feel if they express their love and support? Fantastic, and you'll be encouraged to write more. The Miz I know is a community of writing people. We welcome new players - new to roleplaying, new to writing with open arms. I know the influx of new people is astonishing, scary even, but not every new person came out of a shit hole. And if you're going to put on airs, at least put on an air of helpfulness and don't capitalize on scaring the new people away. If you see someone who has potential, instead of complaining about the quality of their written work, write with them. I may or may not have mentioned this before, but once I got my way around Mizahar and found a reason to ask threads with people, I was exhilarated when two of my favorite writers wrote with me. One was Stitch, and the other was Jaeden. Most especially Jaeden, whose threads I love reading when it was less romance and more adventure. Writing with them pushed me to write better, lengthier, and shut up if you don't notice the improvement, but threading with awesome people who are also awesome writers is what I love about Miz because it helps me develop and expand my abilities. Stitch has a sunny disposition, but he knows when to give you the lay down when he thinks you're doing something wrong. He knows when and how to downplay his character, making Stitch awesome without being such an arrogant sod. Jaeden may be thought of a sexy man but if you see how well he could play a wildlands hunter, you'd respect him more for that. He also won my heart when he answered my questions for Riverfall. He showed me that he was indeed DS of Riverfall, and knows it inside and out, and can make other people appreciate the Akalaks. After writing with both these players, I felt like a better writer. Jen, aka Gossamer, who is known to be a mean shark is not. You don't have to make up crap about you have to have a big steel backbone to stand up to Jen. I have always seen Jen as a no-nonsense person, with a firm grasp of what needs to be done and what must be done. People praise her for being active, for being a speedy writer (when her times allow it), but everyone's made this illusion that Jen's a bitch. Maybe she is, sometimes, but she's not a bitch all the time. If you've had a run in with Jen and had been scarred for life and scared of her forever, look back at yourself, reflect on your actions, and see if you weren't really worth scolding and try to think if it didn't change you for the better. I know I have. But never promote that Jen is mean, or even hint at it. She may be wielding a large metal claw of rules, but she's also a really awesome person to talk to and has more DnD experience in the belt more than any person I know. Let people find their own time to get to know her better as a Founder. You know what Jen is like? She's like a mum who is very very sweet but is also a disciplinarian. A storybook in one hand and a paddle for spanking on the other. If you love Jen and find her special, don't put her up on the pedestal of the Queen Bitch, don't promote it. I won't even begin to write about Tarot, half of this scrapbook is a testament to my undying admiration for the creator of the Nuit race. If you can't find it in yourself to be nice, shut up. Chances are there will be someone in chat who will be less snarky about helping. And please try not to gang up on someone who has their name incorrect, one reminder and a link to the rules is often enough for people to change it. Don't make them change it immediately, let them do it in their own time. S'long as they're not jumping into RP without a completed CS, offer to help. You know, help? The way the Mizaharians before you offered you help and advice? If you managed to put up your CS and insert yourself without any help, then be mature enough to extend your ability to understand to help others less... fortunate. Yes, I'm preachy. It's my scrapbook and I'll say what I want.

[Jilitse]

Longing for you day and in dream
I'm hoping you are here and leading my way

You steers my road anytime I need
If you walk away, I will follow you

Trying my life
With your secret gifts you gave to me
I won't vain and succeed it as your precious soul

Holding your hand
And I'm walking through the all of the world

Carrying your wish like the Venus in the dim sky


I know it doesn't make any sense.

[Jilitse]

I'm still here Sometimes you need to make people know that you are still around, because even if there's only one person depending on your existence, you undervalue him/her if you just spirit away doing some random thing that nobody else in the universe cares about. I have had problems with my stupid ovary. I already lost one ovary two years back to a large oblong cyst. In between that day and today I gained 50 pounds. A feat, especially when you consider the circumstances. It is also very unhealthy. I have been advised to lose the weight, and have been taking medication for the hormonal imbalance. But that wasn't enough and I decided to enroll myself in gym before I start auditioning for Biggest Loser Asia. Gym is great. Diet is awful. Just now my supervisor saw me very ronery staring at my mug of oatmeal. But I feel great, happy, I am looking forward to my lessons. I am doing belly dancing. Prior to this I have been dancing - mostly ballroom and ethnic dances - and it feels nice to be back on the floor and strutting my stuff, though they are, decidedly 2x their mass before. I am not as flexible and energetic as I once was! Woe to this pot belly. And love handles. And cellulite. Ugh. Losing weight is on my goals for this year, and I cannot ever sacrifice health (and, more importantly, beauty) over the more trivial things. I couldn't keep up with writing and gym and life and work. I'm sorry, very very sorry. If you are waiting on a post for Jil, I've been away doing, as I have told Malah, very selfish things. I am studying Nihonggo, learning how to both read and write. I have also been playing Hello Kitty Online. HKO closed down last year, but it is a very big chunk of my life. Hello Kitty is my childhood hero, and HKO (the game) had been my stressbuster during thesis days. Philippine accounts got wiped last year, but recently Sanrio announced that they have been merged to the international server. I'm playing in my dream land again. With my sister this time around. But I have not forgotten you! I will write, and hopefully soon. If you are waiting on a post for Panna Cotta, you are very well remembered. I will call her and tell her to post for you as soon as possible. I will tell her to stop hiding under her favorite sheepskin comforter, and I will tell her to write for you.

[Rhuryc]

Stay healthy and happy Jilly! We'll all be waiting here for you when things slow down ^.^

[Kalasshmalah]

D'aww Jilitse, real life will always take precedence over all things fantasy. No need to worry bout it ^.^

Good luck with the diet/gym, and have a great time on HKO!

[Gossamer]

I had an ovarian cyst once. It was the single most painful thing I've ever experienced. I think that was because it ruptured. But I think getting gutted 300 style would be a lot less painful and a far easier death. So I completely and utterly feel for you. I know it also messes with your body big time so please know you have a cheering squad here that understands a little about what your going through.

I'm downsizing my own body again. I think a lot of us are in one degree or another. Nothing I'm wearing fits currently, so I know I'm winning the battle. You can win the battle too. And it sounds like you are well on your way. I love seeing belly dancers of all shapes and sizes because its exercise and its fun! I just hope your relationship with it, your gym, and your food lead you down the path you want to go.

We'll be here when you're ready to come back. And we'll do so with open arms.

[Jilitse]

Dear Stitch

I have read about your retirement.

I remembered the first time you went away, Jil was still in Sahova, preparing for her journey out of the island. But you came back. You were the very first Priskil-follower that she had encountered in-game, and in terms of development, your PC had the most effect on her.

You are a valued Team Priskil member, an outstanding player, a well-loved friend <<33. The other day you messaged me online, was that you saying goodbye?

Stitch, we don't talk a lot, but know that I will hold out a candle for you so that you can find your way back to me when you return. I will be waiting!

Love
Jil

[Jilitse]

Why do I have this huge writer's block since a bazillion days ago? I cannot seem to write anything significant.

This disdain for writing is getting on my nerves. I think more than I write! I have a great idea for Jilitse, I plan to actually write about something magical this time around... but I'm not writing them. The words have left me, they are on an unpaid vacation leave.

I miss you and the times when we write together.

You're my shooting star.

[Jilitse]

I wrote last for Jil, not counting the most recent I did, last May. May. I think I have around five people waiting on me, bless them if they are still around.

Working in a bank is a happy job, I like what I do, but you see there's these things called month-ends and quarter-ends and basically that means you can't go home on time because there's more work than people can normally handle. When they say "deliverables" they just mean the things that people decide to deliver all at the same time towards/during the end of the month or quarter, and they're all rushing like hungry ants at a dead cockroach. This is not a rant. I like my job. I like being in a bank. I am happy being in a bank. Today, I got a skip rope and gift certificates for participating in projects even while I was still under probation. The reward was unexpected! Happy happy job. But being in a bank keeps me away from Miz. If it ever gives me time, I can get myself to read threads like "Earning your stripes" by Siiri and Cay, I follow Tarot threads and Colombina threads (A heart of immense darkness was like whoah) and Gossamer threads (I still want you as Nya more than anything else. I miss Nya. I wish you'll get more time for Nya!), I follow Satu because she is an ene-- my love. She is my love. I read random threads which are, more often than not, about kelvics. But I don't have enough time to do what I have to do, and still write for my PC. I have lost the motivation. My free time is dedicated to other things: learning Kanji, catching up on movies, watching Anime. On my highly rated series to watch: Gosick, Ghost in the Shell (Anime) and Game of Thrones (Can't wait for S2!) These are effortless leisure activities that reward me with good relaxing nights and cathartic moments. For Drama I recently had My sister's Keeper- which is the 3rd time I watched it but I still cried like there's no tomorrow, and The Notebook - which is a really good love story that shows you what love is when there's no more youth and sex. This is how I vent out these days, and the same reasons why I can manage to smile at the world and be positive. I used to like, write a lot everyday about how I feel on a blog. And then I learned to separate all those voices and turn them into characters. After doing a lot of self-inserts, I moved on and actually started writing stories. And then roleplayed.

Roleplaying is not an easy thing to explain to your co-workers, even my best bud stares at me differently when I talk about the happiness I derive from writing and writing with other people. The one thing I have learned as I have roleplayed my characters is that it's only fun because of the people with you.

Lately I have noticed that the crowd is growing, but the familiar faces aren't around anymore. I find myself following a name who I have never talked to in chat. Slowly, I felt alienated. Slowly, it almost felt like, there's no reason to stay anymore. Stitch leaving was a heartache I could not nurse back to health. Pao's retirement as Kelpie pissed me off at first, and then I was very lonely. I can name other people, but I don't want to come across as someone who's giving up because I'm no longer in my comfort zone.

Still, I miss having to snuggle with people and talk about Mizahar, because I can go on about Mizahar all day and I expect someone to talk to me about Mizahar too. Not just your usual trivia laden conversation - just a fan, like I am. I miss talking about the gods, and the magic, and the players and what the players where are doing. I feel like, in having fun at work and getting busy there, I'm missing out on the fun I should be having in here.

But it's not really horrible being a grown up with responsibilities and so on. If I compare myself with some active player or power poster I'd do a great disservice to myself. I allot a good portion of my leisure time for Miz. I sure hope I'm not found wanting, but then if you can't understand why I have a life outside of Miz, you're probably in your teens or just barely getting out of it. I have accepted that I am slow, like a turtle, but that's not a crime.

Still, I was really inactive for a good amount of time. With Tarot opening up a Priskil quest for Mizahar's anniversary, Stitch is coming back and I am finally so much much more happier. Stitch is like a best friend to me, ICly and OOCly. I'm sho sho happy.

On the other side of not being sho sho happy it has been raining endlessly I feel like I'm in a rainforest - if there were tall tall trees around the neighborhood anyway. I know there's a tropic storm, but still it's ridiculous how for the whole week, I woke up to a drizzle (showers and mad downpours) and come home to the smell of rain and puddles (and drizzles). I hate puddles with a passion. I love having my nails done and a good foot spa is worthless when you wade your thongs in yucky puddles. Or clean puddles. I hate puddles. Hate hate hate. So much rain so much hate. Like, what the eff. Is there a god up there crying for America, with its coffers empty and red? That's another story, but I'd rather not talk about it. I should stop looking at Dow Jones and Wall Street. It's just your heart lurches when you've got your money on a sinking ship. Good thing I pulled out in time!

So yeah. I am still around. If I am not writing, then I am definitely reading. I wish Siiri would get her tiger soon. I wish I get to write with many many other people. I have been enjoying a few threads and a few new PCs, the Svefras in particular. Of course no one can displace Satu in the special throne in my heart. And Torc and Ialari - but I kind of have a personal stake in their successes.

I love Miz. Absence, as they say, makes the heart grow fonder!

PS. This is not an "I'm back!" post. I am, have always been, just here. Probably just invisible.

[Gossamer]

You should meet some of the wonderful new people. Quite a few of them have been here less than a month and I feel like I've known them all my life. Their activity levels, enthusiasm, and the way they write (and keep drama free unlike others) is so incredibly refreshing and amazing.