[Jesslyn's Scrapbook] Well, that's cool... Oh and that too!

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The player scrapbooks forum is literally a place for writers to warm-up, brainstorm, keep little scraps of notes, or just post things to encourage themselves and each other. Each player can feel free to create their own thread - one per account - and use them accordingly.

[Jesslyn's Scrapbook] Well, that's cool... Oh and that too!

Postby Phoenix on July 25th, 2013, 3:48 am

I feel telling people your breast size is wildly inappropriate and childish. Just saying. I didn't even read 90% of this blog because I was told of the contents and I found myself more than mildly disgusted.

Edit: I actually read the whole list. My face is thus: :'(
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[Jesslyn's Scrapbook] Well, that's cool... Oh and that too!

Postby Jesslyn Skyglow on July 25th, 2013, 4:06 am

If I was worried about seeing you guys in person and thing of such I totally would have left that out. But I'm not so I was like, "On we go." And who ever told you of the contents must have just mentioned that because that really would have been the only wrong thing.... :( I haven't posted anything other than that rant that should have been disgusting to be honest. And I don't know if that face is a good thing or a bad thing.....

and wait you hate the whole shipping thing so that might have been something you don't like. but come on, have you read their threads?? its painful.... literal sometimes.

rumors -.-

most of the stuff here is like I said, "You can find my character updates and such on here. You can find things that i find an am like, "WOH" or you can just find a random thingy were I'm like, "DO YOU SEE THIS!"" mostly character updates and me keeping a total tally of my peeps. Which means I need other content.

well thankx for telling me that something on here was bad, if you message me what you think shouldn't be posted ill see what I can do. thknx Jules.
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[Jesslyn's Scrapbook] Well, that's cool... Oh and that too!

Postby Jesslyn Skyglow on July 25th, 2013, 4:12 am


so for the past hour or three this had been on repeat. Because it got me in a happy singful mood. Which is driving everyone in my household nuts....... :D
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[Jesslyn's Scrapbook] Well, that's cool... Oh and that too!

Postby Balderdash on July 25th, 2013, 5:10 am

Just gonna leave this here.

If you wanted attention, you have it. I have seriously never seen a more embarrassingly deluded human being in my life. Well, outside of the Kardashians and the cast of Jersey Shore. They come pretty close.

I could say more, but honestly my eyes glazed over and I stopped reading around the word "perfect." Besides, you've already written me off as someone who's either jealous or doesn't get it, because introspection, perspective, and especially criticism are stupid words for stupid people who don't have perfect bodies (you don't) and unbiased, noble, pure minds (you really don't.)

When you declare yourself a master, you stop improving.

Also, you meant "new things."
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[Jesslyn's Scrapbook] Well, that's cool... Oh and that too!

Postby Jesslyn Skyglow on July 25th, 2013, 4:31 pm

After this reply ill remove the post and put a picture of flowers or maybe the depressed robot from hitch hickers guide to the galaxy. Would that please you so? Hope so kus I like flowers.

Thnkx Balderdash


Edit* anything that was posted on here before has been removed. The reason is after a reasonable scolding from a dear friend I agreed that I don't get defend something I did that was terrible. No I am not trying to make you guys feel like I deserve your forgiveness, yell at me all you want. I accept and deserve it.


Thanks Svan for the message.
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[Jesslyn's Scrapbook] Well, that's cool... Oh and that too!

Postby Jesslyn Skyglow on July 25th, 2013, 4:52 pm

Actually, I have a question. Would you guys like a video apology? It could be blacked out if you don't want to see my face, which is reasonable. I might be able todo it on this tablet (it's not mine) but it might have to be done once I get home.
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[Jesslyn's Scrapbook] Well, that's cool... Oh and that too!

Postby Gossamer on July 25th, 2013, 5:48 pm

Hi Jesslyn-

I waited overnight before I responded. Why? Because I have sense enough to calm down when I see someone doing something that's entirely self destructive. We had three teens this week absolutely DESTROY their reputations on this site by doing things that were stupid. You've repeatedly done these types of things, and each time you have backed off, changed handles, and came back with a fresh start and an innocent smile. I wonder, though, if your parents saw your post, what they'd think about it. I noticed as of this morning, you've removed it. But the problem is, you can't erase actions. You can't undo what's already been done. Once you say something to someone, everyone remembers it regardless of how much you might want to take it back.

Now, in your post was a personal attack against me buried in a self affirming 'I'm good enough, smart enough, gorgeous enough, and gosh darn it people like me." type post. That's fine. You didn't actually use my name, but I'm sure everyone knew who you were talking about. Why? Players here are, I feel, of above average intelligence. I would have really liked to further discuss the issues, but you didn't seem to want to wait for my PM reply. In my defense, I sent you multiple replies in one day and when I didn't keep responding, it might have possibly been because I'm an adult with a real job and I sometimes have to scurry off to work and do adult things. I know this probably doesn't fit into your schedule, but if you want to verbally spar, we'll have to do it when I have time. Now, lets discuss this. And since you want to take it public, lets go for it.

YOU APPROACHED ME.

You dictated to me how I should feel about your online art and then asked me to give you my thoughts on it. Now at this point, everyone on this site probably knows I have an opinion on everything and if asked I will gladly share that opinion. This runs the gauntlet from which brand of mint chocolate chip icecream is the best, to why Monsanto is evil, to politics, religion, and my favorite things - art and roleplay.

When you ASKED me, I told you my thoughts. You argued with my thoughts and told me I was wrong. No... I'm not wrong in how I feel about things. They are how I feel about things. How can you tell someone how to feel about something? You can't. Then, you demanded to know why or have me justify my thoughts. I felt like I did. But you wouldn't ACCEPT it. And I had to run off to work.

Anyone can feel anything they want about things. It's like how some people LOVE the smell of gasoline and turpentine, and others gag at it. Its called an opinion. Turp lovers often come in the form of painters and artists and equate the smell to pleasure. Trup haters can't convince Turp Lovers that Turp isn't something loveable. It is what it is. All of that is the same whether you are talking art, religion, anything... if you solicit an opinion, you have to be prepared to accept it for what it is. An opinion. It doesn't have to be RIGHT in your eyes, but it deserves to be allowed to exist.

Lets review shall we? The art in this case was your Box Codes you started doing as Samantha. You opened up a thread - I'm sure people here can still find it since its still up - where you advertised that you did Box Codes. That's cool. We love artists who volunteer to help other people here. We really do. We even GIVE THEM MEDALS for it. But hon, you used another artists' code to advertise the type of work you did. This was code the artist did for you and posted in HER OWN THREAD as a finished project for you. Seriously? So your a box code artist but your using another artists' work to advertise and get folks to ask you for boxes? Really? That was not okay with Jules back then, and it certainly wasn't okay with me.

From there, it really went downhill. You copied other box code artists code VERBATIM and just changed the colors and images. You copied Elysium, Jules, and even myself. And while we don't have any corner on the market on codes, when you do this and ask me to give you a shining review - one you already dictated to me before even letting me state my opinion - I'm going to laugh in your face little girl.

I seriously am.

And I'm not going to even go into your stint as Amora where we gave you a chance to volunteer to help the community in the limited capacity young people often can. I don't need to go into the trouble you've caused mods in areas you've been in including your beloved Avanthal. And normally when people post things in their scraps, I just ignore it, because its their scrap and they can do what they want. However, by your own admission you are fifteen years old. You are a child. And now you are posting your breast size in this scrap and trying desperately to validate yourself to others in some weird teen angst I can't even begin to understand? There's a time and place for drama, and Mizahar isn't really your time or place.

Now, I've also had several storytellers forward me PMs from you where you are openly soliciting them for favors and assistance in getting back on the staff. What? These people felt very uncomfortable by your approach which felt sneaky and underhanded as if you reached out to staffers who had absolutely above par credibility in a way that seemed you wanted to piggyback on their amazing site credibility to get on staff and what... spread your narcissism and self absorption?

No, just no.

Normally I would write this sort of thing as a private PM, but I've reached my teen drama limit this week and want everyone to understand why this is happening as it is and why you are not completely innocent in what I'm about to do.

I feel like Mizahar isn't the site for you. I think we've been more than fair and given you multiple chances for polite wonderful interaction. By your own admission most of your posts are ooc and very little of your activity is actually IC. A great deal of this is scrapbook material too. Much also is art or chatter in ooc threads. Mizahar is for RP. If you want drama, that needs to happen IC. You've been given that opportunity to do so repeatedly. You've failed to have that occur. I feel its best for this community for you to move on to a site more suited to teens and this sort of behavior. I am not going to promote nor allow teens to put themselves out on the net for exploitations.

Your name will go gray after I post this. I'm confident you will be able to read it even though you will no longer be welcome here. It's unfortunate, but I'm seriously tired of folks subjecting this pbase to things that just distract us from writing and steal our joy. You have NO RIGHT to infringe on our pleasure or make people comment in a manner that claims they wish they could UNREAD what you wrote.

That is a gross violation of morality, regardless of how you spin it. And though you have erased the post you put up that was so heinous, I have spoilered it below for posterity so people can understand (who missed it the first time) why this needs to be done.

Please do not return to us. Go focus on your sports. Go focus on your studies. Go be the great kid you want us to think you are. And please by all things sane go work on your personality. That needs the most help of all.

Goss


Your Deleted Post :
1669 words 8312 characters in total

So come in October or September will be my one year for Mizahar. My original character had been long since retired and Jess has now become my main but it's going to be one year soon.

Though I don't know if I'm going to make it. I love Mizahar with all my heart and I love making boxcodes and improving my graphic art skills and improving my spelling, and my textual writing. But there is an unseen pressure I feel.

Sometimes I feel the pressure of getting posts out. Or getting myself out there with three characters and one on write-up hold. Jesslyn is going strong but the fire I feel is slowly going out. For Samantha I don't want to lose her because I love Kiy and Svan and I love the idea of Samantha. With Myya I simply wanted to see more of Mizahar and I don't want to disappoint those who I am threading with.

But my passion is slowly dwindling.

How many new comers knew of seasonal wagings? Because I sure as hell didn't know if them until the end of Spring when Besse mentioned them. That means that I am over 100 GM in debt and I didn't even know it. Now I have the pressure of having to get out job threads and threads where I sell things. And the one place I would really like to get a job I will not be meeting the requirement anytime soon.

i have placeholders for these threads but it's so frustrating to try and sit down and write out a reply after reply after reply. I myself am a short-story essay writer. I cannot write a book. I cannot write anything over maybe a page or two in less is a school essay. The reason being, my mind moves too fast for concepts to stick.

If you sit me down hand me a piece of paper and say write a three page story about a girl painting a flower, front and back, and then say go... well I can give you one hell of a one page, front and back, story but I cannot give you anymore. My juice is gone. And that's how I feel here with the job threads. I can give you maybe 3 posts of greatness for a solo thread and then I'm done. I am a dried up cow ready to be slaughtered.

I am an artist outside of what is seen here. I draw and I paint. But trying to put that down in words is hard. It can take me anywhere from 10 minutes to three hours on a piece. And sometimes the quick one looks dope and the long hour taking one looks horrible. Though the three hour one I am thinking of was dope. It was supposed to be a dragon but because I colored it green, and I usually don't use color in my art in less it is paint, so it looked like a basilisk.

But I cannot give you what you guys want for job threads. I have to be the person doing the art to explain it. And when I write in third person about art... I lose it. I literally cannot write. During school I have a notebook that I carry around with me and when I feel like writing I do. The original one is gone because I left a banana in my backpack and forgot it for a week. That backpack and everything in it is gone now. But in it was just me writing about something.

The thing I wrote the most on (took three pages or two fronts and one back) was how I hated the actions of those around me. I literally wrote about how I hated how my bestfriend starved herself so she could be as fit as me. I wrote how I hate that I get a lot of attention from boys but they are too afraid to come and talk to me. I wrote about how my bestfriends are so fucking judgmental. One of them thinks everyone is trying to copy her, one of them is always in pain and her mom hates me and thinks i am trying to take advantage of her daugher and her money, and the other wants to try and be me because i'm skinny, smart, in touch with the right people, and pretty much perfect.

I have a feeling a certain someone is going to read this and is going to have a rebutt and I am going to want to bitch slap her so hard across the face it would echo forever. But forget that. I am allowed to vent.

Yes I think I am perfect. Want to know why?
* I am a 5'5.5" and weigh 122lbs
* I have golden skin with blonde hair
* I have toned legs
* I have a flat stomach
* I have size c breasts
* I am left-handed
* I am active in sports
* I ended this year with a 3.7 GPA
* I am an artist, and a fairly good one at that
* I sing, teachers favorite alto
* I am open minded
* I am headstrong
* I am laid back
* I am gentle
* I am too fucking forgiving
* I try hard at everything
* I almost went to nationals for track
* I am the fastest girl at my school
* I work out a lot
* I am open to knew things
* I am friendly
* I have a temper
* I am giving
* I have a ton of rewards for my actions in sports
* I have MVP for Sprinters and MVP for the WHOLE team (as a freshman thank you very much), and I was the only person to go to state for my city.


And the list goes on. The one person I feel I can talk to anything with is Chance. One day I was in a nice dress, fishtail, and I had on my heels. He had said, "Damn Christine. Looking like a Queen." I stopped walking, turned my head winked at him then threw away my paper. He was like, "Christine, what is something you are insecure about because I need to knock you down a couple levels." I answered honestly after several seconds of thinking over everything, "Nothing."

I have really bad stress marks on the inside of my thighs and on my hips. There is a nice gap in-between my two front teeth that are fake. My hair is always a mess and I rarely brush it. I have hairy arms. I have a slight mustache. I have more muscle than a lot of guys do on my arms and back. I have really white feet. Theres a lot of things on my that I used to hate but now in Highschool... I feel like a queen just by being me.

Now this post makes me seem narcissistic and in my mind I am. But I am not in person. I am friends with everyone and not disliked by a lot of people for reasons. Though it seems on here that one person just doesn't like me at all. And I get that during my time of Amora I failed. I truly do.

But really. Fucking really. I am very laid back and do not do a lot here. yes I roleplay and have maybe over 150 or maybe 200 posts that are actual posts for threads and not OOC things but I am pretty much not involved with the community. But after my one slip-up it seems that person is out to get me.

I was a disappointment I get that but you had to attack me when I was simply asking for something. Yes you allowed me to but then when I asked if it wasn't a copy you accused me of copying you time and time again. What the actual fuck! When the hell have I ever copied you! i asked for proof and then I would accept you accusation but you didn't give me anything.

Right now it seems as though you abuse your power to try and put down others. But I respect you highly for getting work done and spending so much time with this place. I could never say anything bad about your work but how you treated me. I am not some four year old. I am a teenager who lives with a little sister, a mother, a father, an uncle, and a grandma. My father has heart problems, my mom never gets out of the house, my little sister is a problem child, my grandma does everything she can, and my uncle is a lazy ass.

I do not need your shit. And if you want to put it on me, put it on me with some proof. Because that pisses me off. I would rather be taken down with justified accusations than a couple words and then acting like you are higher than me. You may have been on here longer and seen more. But one slip-up that was very well heartfelt in my own disappointment and then accusations after I simply asked a question and couldn't see your reason, does NOT give you reason to brush my off your shoulder like dust. I am a part of this community and I expect to be treated like such.

Oh and here is an example guys. This entire post I have jumped around on topics. My mind simply cannot hold one concept. It jumps around. Oh and the part with the accusation is something that has been bothering me. Thank you for reading this and getting through my angry vents and stuffers.


XOXOXOXO to everyone. Yes I mean everyone, even to person who bothered me. Because now that I let out my vent I don't have a grudge or a 'long memory' of it. i let it go.

Acutally now its gone... maybe... something might come up again, i dont know.

okay well XOXOXOXO anyways!
~Jammy

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