Closed [Sullin's Residence]The safety of the mind[Elaine Spade]

[Clyde Sullins]

In... Out... In... Out... Clyde slowly breathed, feeling the push of Elaine inside of him, trying to synch with his motions and not fight them. But of course, figuring out how to breath for a ghost tended to be a bit tricky, seeing as most had not done it in years. But after a bit, she more or less had it down, and was doing it with him. Clyde's left hand shuddered for a moment, but Clyde quickly quelled it with force of mind... Clamping down the impulse to move, to fight it, to force the spirit out... He let out another breath, imagining him breathing out the impulse to move and fight, and then pictured himself and Elaine once more, trying to move together in synch. He could feel his breathing had slowed since they started, grown easier. Perhaps this idea had merit. Perhaps meditating was good for attempting possession! After all, if it allowed one to clear ones mind of outside things, surely it would give someone better control over such a outside thing they did want to let in. But then, in this case, the outside thing was no longer outside. It was a part of him, it was him, melding with his mind and body. So perhaps that was why it worked. "Elaine... How do you feel? Better? Do you think the possession is... Easier?" He spoke slowly and evenly, between each breath, taking his time with it and waiting for her response. He continued to focus with his mind, attempting to empty it of extraneous things, while focusing on the idea of the two of them together, melded as one.

[Elaine Spade]

Elaine simply did what Clyde did. Easy. Focusing on themself. Only a little energy needed for the possession now. But she didn't want to stay long she couldn't anyway. When Clyde talked to her it distracted her a bit. She softly and silently whispered to his mind too. But she still synched her "breathing" to his. It was still an odd feeling.

"Peace. I didn't feel that calm before... totally easier. But I don't know how much longer I can be here."

She then quickly remained silent and focused only at them. Soon it was time to leave. Even it was easier, his body wanted to remove the "parasite". And she still needed to use her power to stay there. But slowly. She could stay and enjoy the calmness around her. Beautiful. She didn't know she is able to do things like that. Their balance was perfect. Two souls in one body.

[Clyde Sullins]

It was a bit odd for Clyde, to hear the words, out of synch with the breathing... It was not completely off, but it was not quite right, and every so often a word would be uttered, or spoken in his mind, when she would be inhaling. Which while impossible for Clyde, was clearly possible for a ghost that did not need to breath. It also helped when one was talking, without speaking... That was another oddity of spiritism, when being possessed, being able to speak to a ghost without speaking... He wondered if he could do the same thing. Could he talk without talking, to Elaine? Certainly it would be something for him to try, when he was a bit better with being possessed. Clyde was trying to clear his mind, but to be honest, he was having some real issues. He was trying to repress his bodies urging to force the spirit out... It felt like his body was alive with a million bites of tiny ants, all itching at Clyde. And if he scratched at one, his focus would break, his willing of the ghost to stay in would shatter, and he would knock Elaine right out... Likely Elaine would not notice it, but most of Clyde's muscles were tensed, simply by the strain of it all. Trying to clear his mind. Trying to not force her out. Trying to allow Elaine to meditate through him, a skill he had not perfected in his solo use of it, and now he was trying to teach Elaine of it. A bead of sweat slipped down his forehead and slid into his left eye, the salty bit of water in his eye burning, adding yet another annoyance to his concentration. "Yes..." Clyde said, his body tense, trying to speak, and yet keep his steady breathing... His body letting loose and giving him a full body shudder, that started at his shoulders, and ended at his legs. Breath in... And out... In... Out... "Good... But I don't think... I can hold it..." In... Out... In... "OUT!!!" Clyde finally exclaimed, as he met his limit. He just could not do it. He could not. It was to much. Clyde suddenly leaped up, every bit of his body willing the ghost to leave, pushing her out, freezing her from his body and repelling her. Out. Out. Out... He was unsure when exactly Elaine left, if she went right away, or if she clung on for a few more moments, Clyde did not notice, he was to busy scratching his back and arms and legs, which felt like they had been stung by a million ants. Once on his feet and he had finished scratching like a madman, he ran over to the barrel of water, and stuck his entire head in, down to his shoulders. He held it there for a few moments, and then took it out, shaking his head, sending droplets of water spraying all about as he shook. He then plopped onto the ground, gasping for air, as he looked up at the ceiling, all thought of Elaine forgotten. "Itchy..." He muttered once, quietly under his breath.

[Elaine Spade]

As she thought it didn't last long. Her power couldn't take it. But Clyde was "faster". His body started to push her out more. Clyde still was breathing and was trying while Elaine was ready. Then he shouted. He met with his limit just like Elaine. She left the body and her soulmist gather around near him. She sighed a big and materializated herself. It wasn't as clear as before now but it was still quite clear like a painting. She was suprised. Not all of her power vanished away. It was worth it. She then just looked at Clyde.

She was just sitting there a bit. Realized what's just happened. Peace. Her eyes showed some feelings now. They were brighter. Then she just looked at Clyde. He ran to the water and stuck his head there. Elaine started to smile. That man was amazing. He cared about her. As he was on the ground again and started to mutter. Elaine couldn't hold anymore. She started to laugh. Joy. Another feeling which she didn't even show before. Or just didn't remember of it. She laughed so loudly like she never did before. She whispered to him while she was laughing.

"Sorry, sorry.... it isn't right but you looked funny."

After it she suddenly stopped. Like she was scared that she showed a strong feeling. But it felt good. She still couldn't stop smiling and it could've seen that she wanted to laugh more. But she kept it. She didn't want to laugh at him because she couldn't experience how horrible could it be for him that she was there.

[Clyde Sullins]

Clyde ached. Bits of him that made no sense ached. His eyebrows ached. His ears ached... His brain ached... Well, the last one made sense, but the rest... Were just odd. Clyde did his best to slow his breathing, he could feel the dampness of his head as he lay there, just trying to become coherent once more. It had simply been to much, at least for his first try. Perhaps next time, he would do a bit better. But the first time for anything was always difficult. And now that Elaine understood meditation a bit better, she would better be able to do it next time. He would not have to totally guide her. She would at least vaguely understand how it went. Then something odd happened, as he lay there. Elaine laughed. Elaine, a spirit, a angry ghost holding onto this world by sheer force of will, unable to move on to the afterlife, laughed. Not only was it the first time hearing Elaine do so, it was his first time ever hearing a ghost laugh, at all. He did not even know ghosts could laugh... He lifted up his head weakly by his neck, and looked over at Elaine. In hindsight, he supposed, he had looked a bit silly. But in the moment, it had made total sense. He had been hot and itchy, and so sticking his head in water seemed the most clear solution to solve both problems. "Sorry, sorry.... it isn't right but you looked funny." Clyde looked at Elaine, and a small grin came across his face, as he plopped his head back down, and let out a single chuckle. "Ha..." Not looking at Elaine, simply letting himself rest for a moment, he stared up at the ceiling, inspecting its design. "I am not offended. I am sure I looked silly. It happens. And you mean no ill will by your laughing, so I am not offended." He rolled his head to the side, angling it to look at her instead of lifting it, letting out a sigh. "Well, I suppose that could have gone better... But I guess we accomplished what we were seeking. Perhaps it will be a bit easier next time. I swear though, eventually I will get used to being possessed, and I wont end up as a heap on the ground, aching. But their really is nothing to do, but to muddle through the hard part, till we get to the point were it is easier to be possessed, and for you to do the possessing. Perhaps once each of us are better, it will work out better." Clyde just looked at Elaine as he spoke, focusing on her lips, and the small grin over them. It was odd to see a ghost smile.

[Elaine Spade]

Still smiling at him Elaine had strange feelings in her. She was scared because she showed them but she enjoyed it. But her smile slowly faded away. She turned around. Was she odd now? Was she embrassing now? So many questions she rather changed the topic quickly to something else. Maybe she should get know better about Noaru's situation. She looked back. She whispered.

"Amm.. About Noaru... how did you meet with him? And why did he attack you or what exactly happened? I mean I know Noaru really likes to ... be naughty and bring up everybody's evil side just like he did with me once but ... "

And The Silent Lady stopped. He did. He did once at the pub they burned down. Elaine didn't know what to say about that. She didn't want to. She believed it was a good training and he wouldn't do that again. And he didn't know who was that other side anyway. She didn't know how to "save" this. Clyde would think more bad things about him. But why did she care? Just because they were her only friends they didn't have to like each other did they? She didn't know excatly her speech was confusing and messy as she tried to find excuses for it.

"When we actually burned down a pub... And.. he didn't know who was she anyway... Okay. Enough enough.. sorry to distrub you with this."

A ghost mind can be messy. Elaine mind was messier. New feelings, friends who she didn't have before... She didn't know how to deal with these things. And her memories and her humanity. They were too much. She sat down to Clyde and wanted to sleep. She tried to keep distance so she won't touch him.

[Clyde Sullins]

Slowly the grin on Elaine's face melted away, and Elaine turned away, once again frosty, and not in the physical sense... Though technically she was that to, but that was simply her being a ghost. Clyde pondered for a moment before answering, as she asked her question, which seemed to have come out of no where. Was she changing the subject, or quickly trying to find a reason to talk? Perhaps sitting in silence with another person, was uncomfortable for her. He had met many a person like that, who could not sit in solitude with another, and had to speak and break the silence. "You burned down a pub? Where was this? Or when even? Why in the world would you burn down a bar, what reason would you have to?" He paused for a moment, and then went back to her first question. But the second one had been so distracting, he could not help but come back to it first, instead of her actual initial question. "We met by chance, simply walking about the streets of Ravok. Actually, I think the day we met, me and Noaru, was the day before you and I met... Odd coincidence." "It started off simple enough, him speaking to me, I was nice enough in return. Only as he went on, I came to realize he was lying to me, being rude and disrespectful for no reason. His words were all false, except it appears that his name was true. Everything else though, was a bucket of lies." "When I confronted him about his lying, he got angry, and threatened me. Said something about how he would reach into my chest and crushing my heart with his hands, and other such things. I can't recall exactly what he said, the memory is a bit muddled. Along with that he was being rude and badgering me, using his soul mist to assault me." "I was not going to just stand there and be abused by this spirit. Perhaps he thought me weak, or easy prey, and that was why he did as he did. But that does not make it any more right. Unfortunately for him, I know how to defend myself, as you learned, and I brought up a great spell of fire to defeat him, and to fight him with." "After all that talk and bravado, all his threats, the moment I cast the smallest spark of an attack at him, he ran. He ran away, and hid, like a coward, after being rude and assaulting me and threatening to kill me." "So perhaps you can see why he has earned my ire, for his actions. What less could I have done? I am not some weak bunny, to be pushed and prodded and threatened, with impunity. I can defend myself, and I did, and I was justified. If he would be willing to apologize for what he did, perhaps I would forgive him. Perhaps. But even then, I would have trouble trusting him, after his lies and his actions."

[Elaine Spade]

Elaine couldn't answer. She felt ashamed a bit but for what? Those humans were disgusting. And actually she didn't do it... she was confused. She turned her face away from Clyde. Her mind was messy and her other self popped up. Not trying to provoke or took away her control as she was afraid that Clyde will harm her ahain. She simply helped out The Silent Lady. She whispered in a different voice tone.

"It wasn't really Elaine who did, it was me... although that isn't fully true either. Noaru saw that I will came up if Elaine is annoyed by humans... pub full of drunks, hahaha, perfect. And of course Ela and Noaru went there in, they possessed somebody and I possessed another. But it was Noaru who burned it.. that's all ... wet head..."

Elaine just let her pride to speak. She didnt want to speak and think. Her humanity giggled because she knew that. Even Elaine didn't do that but her humanity she felt bad about it. She didn' leave her she whispered to Clyde about Noaru, about how 'they' know him.

"Noaru thinks he was never borned. He really likes to see others darker side... But he can be kind. Somewhere deep inside of him there is someone who cares. Trust me I KNOW! But now that's all from me, wet head... Ohhh and please forgive Elaine that girl really likes you. So do I. Hahahahaha"

With that sarcastic sentence and sarcastic laugh she went away. Elaine was there and still couldn't say anything. The confusen however has gone for good now. She turned back To Clyde on her next.

[Clyde Sullins]

As Elaine spoke, her tone shifted, a fact that was mostly lost on Clyde. He did not realize it meant the other Elaine was taking control. If anything, he thought perhaps it was a bit of emotion getting into her voice and affecting her speech. So when she began to speak of herself in the third person, it confused Clyde. It was not till she finished speaking, that he realized something was off, and she was once more not acting herself. "I don't think it makes it much better, saying Noaru was the one to start it. Often one is judged as much by the actions we don't do, such as to stop someone, as we are by the ones we actually commit. Randomly burning down bars, just out of spite, or for fun? That will not end well for anyone, least of all you." In between her laughter, Clyde looked at Elaine, unsure of what she meant... He believed he had never been born? How could a ghost think that, and be that delusional to believe it. "And it is not for me, to forgive you Elaine. I am no judge, I do not sentence people for their past wrongs. You will have to continue on knowing what you have done, and knowing it may come back to get you some day. Few actions, if any, come without consequences."

[Elaine Spade]

She felt bad but she didn't want to. She didn't think she did something wrong. OR at least she didn't plan to burn it. But then why? Certainly there was something which was missing. She didn't know what but there was. Did she really hate humans? Or she hates herself, her own humanity? Why? Why? Too much questions in her head she didn't want to think, she didn't want to think. Just let it be over and be finished. Be quiet and be calm but be calm and be quiet. Just whisper and don't shout. WHY?

"Why? WHY? Clyde WHY? What have I done with my life? With others? I'm asking for forgivness from you and Dira but I have to do something for it. And Noaru... I can't judge him... I still think him as a friend. Something is inside him too. I didn't stop him as I was still weak. Altough. Why? Why Clyde? "

Wasn't crying but wasn't laughing. Wasn't whispering but wasn't shouting. Elaine spoke in a normal voice she didn't whisper. More confusion. Her mind was messy she wanted to meditate again but she couldn't. She hold her head like it was about to fell off. Her appearance was shivering like it was about to be messy too. No. She couldn't allow that. She was stronger and bigger person than that. No it couldn't be. She focused as she did on the meditation. She slowly breathed the nothing. She cleared her messy mind. Not fully but forget her questions. She focused her soulmist to keep the "shell" for her appearance. She stopped shivering. She forgot her questions. At least she wanted to. She stood up and looked at Clyde. She whispered as usual again.

"You are my true friend. My actions are mines can't push them to others. My mortal time passed, but my immortality time didn't. Some has to be done but not alone. We didn't born to be alone. I like to help you too Clyde as you helped me. I'll be your student your friend or both whatever you wish. Or leave you be and I won't bother you anymore but you will be my friend still. Just please don't humiliate me or mess my mind."

Still with empty eyes Elaine was staring at him. She gave her unlife to a mortal. Was it smart or not she wanted to learn about the world. She had to find answers. Now or later didn't matter she had time... Even forever.