In that moment, Kavala felt comforted in a way she hadn’t been in a long time. The way Riaris talked made it seem as if the world would conform to his thinking and that just through his will alone they would be fine. It was a good feeling, albeit a foreign one, to have someone offer such comfort in a way that made her feel protected, cherished, and like she didn’t need to worry about the future like she did.
Kavala almost never relaxed. She never sat still. She as doing and planning, and looking ahead always, trying to change time, change circumstance, and mold the world into someplace safer for herself and her family. Part of it was that deep within her she was afraid, always, of not being in control and afraid of what could happen if she let her guard down or got sideswiped by something she didn’t see coming.
Riaris hadn’t been something she saw coming. She had never wanted to give her heart to anyone again, no one save perhaps her child. And in many ways he’d blindsided her. In his arms she felt comfort, love, security, and like finally she could relax. Like here and now there wasn’t a tense bone in her body or a single worry on her mind. But Recoomas was an unknown to her. And that Riaris knew him best of all gave her comfort because she honestly believed the deep violent Akalak when he spoke of what his brothers wishes and needs were too. Someone knowing Kavala’s background might think between being enslaved on the Sea of Grass and having a tough time with a Talvis in Riverfall that she’d be ruined for such things in the future. But she wasn’t. She was just cautious and watchful and tended in some parts to look for the negative so she could find it, identify it, and not let it hurt her so much. But Riaris kept insisting that there was no negative. He insisted that his brother wasn’t a bad guy. She believed him. Staring in his eyes, hearing his words, she believed him absolutely.
And even about the promise. He would never leave her. And even as he was making it, she knew if he did, if despite everything that happened, he did part ways, then it would be her downfall… the last blow in a series of blows in a life that had been less than ideal.
“I love you Raris. Thank you… for all of this. For coming with me. For being yourself. I still don’t know everything there is to know about you, but I do know you are incredible. I hope that you and I can make a life together. It would be one of my greatest accomplishments I think, looking back. And I’m sorry… because I think you aren’t getting such a great deal with me. I am not the ideal person I think your people think of when they pick mates. I will never stay at home. I will never forego weapons or magic and danger and being on the front lines of conflict. My thinking isn’t always what others might feel it should be. And I am by and large damaged goods. You know some of it. There’ a lot more as well. But I will try to do right by you and be whom you need if I can be. And I will be the best mother to this child of yours I possibly can be. If I have any say in it, they will want for nothing.” Kavala added, bushing her hand across her flat muscled midsection.
Then she changed the subject, wanting to move forward, not wanting to sit there and make promises to each other they might not be able to keep if Dira got involved.
So she paused, smiled at him, and ran her eyes across the rigging again. “We’ll be there tomorrow or the next day. Are you getting excited? I have no idea what to expect… but I’m eager to do some trading. Maybe even get some things I can’t get in Riverfall. For example… I’ve heard stories of these repeating crossbows. You can’t hold them in your hands… they are far far too big. But you mount them on ships and on the tops of buildings and load them with bolts that can take out things like Wind Eagles. I want to get my hands on one for The Sanctuary. What do you think? Would it be overkill? After that Zith attack where we had half the place torn up, I think it would have been invaluable to have one.” Kavala said, already planning on how she’d store the thing on the ship to get it home.
Kavala almost never relaxed. She never sat still. She as doing and planning, and looking ahead always, trying to change time, change circumstance, and mold the world into someplace safer for herself and her family. Part of it was that deep within her she was afraid, always, of not being in control and afraid of what could happen if she let her guard down or got sideswiped by something she didn’t see coming.
Riaris hadn’t been something she saw coming. She had never wanted to give her heart to anyone again, no one save perhaps her child. And in many ways he’d blindsided her. In his arms she felt comfort, love, security, and like finally she could relax. Like here and now there wasn’t a tense bone in her body or a single worry on her mind. But Recoomas was an unknown to her. And that Riaris knew him best of all gave her comfort because she honestly believed the deep violent Akalak when he spoke of what his brothers wishes and needs were too. Someone knowing Kavala’s background might think between being enslaved on the Sea of Grass and having a tough time with a Talvis in Riverfall that she’d be ruined for such things in the future. But she wasn’t. She was just cautious and watchful and tended in some parts to look for the negative so she could find it, identify it, and not let it hurt her so much. But Riaris kept insisting that there was no negative. He insisted that his brother wasn’t a bad guy. She believed him. Staring in his eyes, hearing his words, she believed him absolutely.
And even about the promise. He would never leave her. And even as he was making it, she knew if he did, if despite everything that happened, he did part ways, then it would be her downfall… the last blow in a series of blows in a life that had been less than ideal.
“I love you Raris. Thank you… for all of this. For coming with me. For being yourself. I still don’t know everything there is to know about you, but I do know you are incredible. I hope that you and I can make a life together. It would be one of my greatest accomplishments I think, looking back. And I’m sorry… because I think you aren’t getting such a great deal with me. I am not the ideal person I think your people think of when they pick mates. I will never stay at home. I will never forego weapons or magic and danger and being on the front lines of conflict. My thinking isn’t always what others might feel it should be. And I am by and large damaged goods. You know some of it. There’ a lot more as well. But I will try to do right by you and be whom you need if I can be. And I will be the best mother to this child of yours I possibly can be. If I have any say in it, they will want for nothing.” Kavala added, bushing her hand across her flat muscled midsection.
Then she changed the subject, wanting to move forward, not wanting to sit there and make promises to each other they might not be able to keep if Dira got involved.
So she paused, smiled at him, and ran her eyes across the rigging again. “We’ll be there tomorrow or the next day. Are you getting excited? I have no idea what to expect… but I’m eager to do some trading. Maybe even get some things I can’t get in Riverfall. For example… I’ve heard stories of these repeating crossbows. You can’t hold them in your hands… they are far far too big. But you mount them on ships and on the tops of buildings and load them with bolts that can take out things like Wind Eagles. I want to get my hands on one for The Sanctuary. What do you think? Would it be overkill? After that Zith attack where we had half the place torn up, I think it would have been invaluable to have one.” Kavala said, already planning on how she’d store the thing on the ship to get it home.