Her mind sloshed sluggishly, in confusion, a moment, but Lanie's voice returns harder now. Pushing
Focus, Minnie. She had a question, did you hear it?
She didn't, or...she hadn't forgotten, so much as muddied the water. The student offered the answer, without being prompted. "What do you need of me?"
Minnie set her hand, absently up to the neckline of her dress again, fingering the knot in the stitching there, and closing her eyes, trying to regain focus, her mind upset, feeling the rawness of the push from the Lanie-voice
I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I am trying, I am trying.
Answer her.
She felt judged, and looked back up, to see the other girl cooling, to see her punch her brow and speak formally, distantly. She thought over the poem she'd recited. Had it been too personal? She grew uncomfortable, and fidgeted harder with the knot.
Answer her.
Im all mixed up, I'm all mixed up.
A different voice entertwined with the Lanie voice, a small, rough, loathing voice, the voice that came when she had been foolish.
Stupid gutterslut. Its a simple petching question.[/]
Lanie came back, then, cooing more kindly, in contrast the the harsh bite.
[i]Calm, precise, love. Speak to her. Trust her.
"I don't know what I want.."
The words were clearly half-conscious - likely she hadn't even known she spit them out, but her mind grappled with them.
Calm, precise. Just the immediate need, not the long term question. Just simple. Just what-do-we-ask-today.
She blinked several times, and open her mouth to try to form the sentence.
"A... a job... I want... or... no, I have... a job, I had a job you... need... need a job, maybe. I don't want to presume."
Calmness, was an effort, and the asking for it, mad it harder, int a way, for she could hear how she was failing, failing herself, failing Fallon, failing the Lanie in her head,and it made her more tense.
Why am I so confused? Why and I... I feel so off, so strange, why am I so mixed up?
x
Focus, Minnie. She had a question, did you hear it?
She didn't, or...she hadn't forgotten, so much as muddied the water. The student offered the answer, without being prompted. "What do you need of me?"
Minnie set her hand, absently up to the neckline of her dress again, fingering the knot in the stitching there, and closing her eyes, trying to regain focus, her mind upset, feeling the rawness of the push from the Lanie-voice
I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I am trying, I am trying.
Answer her.
She felt judged, and looked back up, to see the other girl cooling, to see her punch her brow and speak formally, distantly. She thought over the poem she'd recited. Had it been too personal? She grew uncomfortable, and fidgeted harder with the knot.
Answer her.
Im all mixed up, I'm all mixed up.
A different voice entertwined with the Lanie voice, a small, rough, loathing voice, the voice that came when she had been foolish.
Stupid gutterslut. Its a simple petching question.[/]
Lanie came back, then, cooing more kindly, in contrast the the harsh bite.
[i]Calm, precise, love. Speak to her. Trust her.
"I don't know what I want.."
The words were clearly half-conscious - likely she hadn't even known she spit them out, but her mind grappled with them.
Calm, precise. Just the immediate need, not the long term question. Just simple. Just what-do-we-ask-today.
She blinked several times, and open her mouth to try to form the sentence.
"A... a job... I want... or... no, I have... a job, I had a job you... need... need a job, maybe. I don't want to presume."
Calmness, was an effort, and the asking for it, mad it harder, int a way, for she could hear how she was failing, failing herself, failing Fallon, failing the Lanie in her head,and it made her more tense.
Why am I so confused? Why and I... I feel so off, so strange, why am I so mixed up?
x