Closed On Top of the World (Zhol)

[Khara]

"Then the lakes it shall be!" Khara announced, trying to inject as much enthusiasm as possible into the simple declaration. She hoped it would help. Aside from forced optimism she had no other defense against the hint of sadness in his eyes. They were supposed to be having fun, supposed to be getting away from the worries that Wind Reach usually heaped upon them. Not... this.

Khara picked up the target and moved it toward the lake, just close enough to the shore, making sure to angle it so that a stray arrow would be more likely to hit the back cliff face than accidentally go somewhere potentially dangerous. Admittedly it was probably bad form anyway, but seeing as how they were alone she figured it wouldn't matter too much. Better an arrow fall into the water and get pulled down the falls than skip off the face of the cliff and accidentally hit one of them with debris, she supposed.

A few steps back away from the target were taken, some squinting and pointing done before a few adjustments were made to it's position. Once satisfied she looked back to Zhol, the same slightly dejected look ghosting across his features. It tugged at her and as if drawn to him by the fact, she slowly walked back over to him.

She stopped only once directly in front of him, a small fidget happening before her hand reached out to grab a hold of his once more. She loathed that she seemed to need the constant contact with him, that just touching him made her feel better. He isn't yours, sparrow, her inner voice reminded. But just for a little bit, just today, couldn't she pretend? Was that so wrong?

"Are you okay? I do not think it is just nervousness that clutches at you." Khara didn't bother to hide the genuine concern in her voice. "You should know that you can say what you want to with me. I am not so fragile that you cannot tell me if I have upset you. It breaks more to see you unhappy."

"Nari" | "Common" | "Kinda sorta Pavi maybe."

[Zhol]

|.

It was a small miracle, the amount of difference a little comfort and contact could make. Even in the deepest depths of despair, a hand on a shoulder, a hand in a hand, a hand on a cheek could be all that was needed; someone reaching out to help pull you from the dark pit of your feelings. Her voice was like a rope, and he clung onto it tightly, let him pull him away from her thoughts towards her eyes instead. Looking into those was still drowning: but it was a good kind of drowning, and one he'd happily endure for however much longer his life lasted.

"You haven't made me upset," he said quietly. His fingers wrapped gently around hers. "In fact, you've done quite the opposite."

The more he looked at her, the more he felt like he was standing on the edge of a rock face, a breeze of conflicting thoughts and emotions making him sway back and forth, the irresistible urge to jump pitted against the immovable terror at what would happen if he did. It was self-preservation in a way; safeguarding his life as he knew it.

Something inside him flaunted the danger; inched his toes ever so slightly closer to the edge. "I'm unhappy because I have a secret," he said, his eyes finally falling away, gaze settling on the hand that she held. "It's an uncomfortable secret. A painful secret. One that will hurt until I tell it."

His gaze climbed back to hers. The impulse nudged him further still; he felt his balance falter, saw the abyss of admission looming before him.

"But I can't." Better judgement swept in, slamming into his chest, knocking him backwards. "I can't confess to anyone, no matter how much I want to."

The words that followed were the most painful that he had ever uttered, the memories they brought in their wake and the devastating resignation they forced him to accept landing upon him with crushing weight.

"I won't break my promise."

"Pavi" | "Common" | "Nari" | "Symenos"
This template was made by Khara. She was bribed with coffee and jammy dodgers.

[Khara]

It seemed unthinkable that after everything Zhol had told her, of the painful reasons he even found himself in Wind Reach, that there were still secrets he felt he couldn't say to her. But then, maybe that wasn't really so much of a secret. Maybe despite being considered some sort of family she still wasn't privileged to that information.

Forgetting your place already, sparrow? The thought tugged at her unexpectedly and threatened to topple the small tower of optimism that she had managed to create. Khara held onto it though, for the both of them.

"I would never ask that you break a promise," Khara said softly. "But you should not have to shoulder such pain by yourself."

She forced another small smile, her head shouting every warning against every considered thing she could possibly say. All the while retorting, What good do your really think you can do here? Are you out of your petching mind? Maybe she was. A gentle squeeze was given to his hand as Kara attempted to re-catch his gaze in hers, bending just slightly, her already much shorter frame making it easy to position herself under his staring at their hands.

"I am here for you. Please let me help." Another smile was offered, far more earnest in nature. Nothing may ever have been destined to come of how she felt towards him, but that did not - could not - stop her from doing all she could.

A gentle tug happened as she stepped away from him, her head nodding towards the bow case on the grass. "At least you must actually let me show you how we distract ourselves from such things here in Wind Reach. You asked, after all. Come, you can have first shot!"

"Nari" | "Common" | "It's somewhat Pavi"

[Zhol]

|.

But all I have is myself, and you.

Zhol incinerated the thought as soon as it formed, but the ashes of it lingered, coating the surface of his mind with a somber film. Hearing her say that she was here for him made him want to throw his arms around her and cling to her indefinitely; and for a split second he almost did. Then the offer of distraction came, and his mind embraced that far more preferable option. Better to think of something, anything else, than continue along the path of thinking down which his mind had already begun to wander.

He turned his attention back to the bow in front of him, and a fresh anxiety gripped his stomach; simple stage fright and embarrassment this time, rather than anything deeper or untoward. His fingers wrapped around the bow's grip and lifted it free; it felt as if it was made of lead. The one flaw in this entire plan was realised far too late: much as he wanted to bond with Khara over something that was so integral to her life, he hadn't considered the fact that his woeful, inadequate skills would be on display in front of her.

Heaving out a nervous breath, he let the case close and rested his longbow on top, abandoning it just for a moment as he set about attaching his various pieces of arm protection to himself. A brief moment of wisdom caused him to shrug off his jacket, but his sleeve still presented a conundrum; he fumbled with the arm guard, trying to fasten the leather to himself in such a way that kept his cuffs tucked aside, but his first effort was overzealous, and an attempt to bend his elbow was met with resistance from the fabric. He grabbed a handful of cloth and pulled, dislodging the sleeve just enough to provide the freedom of movement he required.

The other sleeve was not so easily dealt with. The cuff hanging loose around the hand he had slid his glove onto, and while he didn't know what problems that might cause, he suspected their might be some. A few more fumbles, and the sleeve was rolled up on itself, shortened until it hung just above the elbow. He considered slackening the arm guard and doing the same with the other sleeve to balance out his awkwardly asymmetric look; but he could feel Khara watching him, and couldn't bear to fidget more with his clothes under the scrutiny of her gaze.

Grabbing his bow once more, he rose to his feet, and offered Khara a nervous smile as he paced across the grass like a man en route to his execution, approaching where he hoped he was supposed to stand.

"From here?" he asked, gesturing at the ground.

"Pavi" | "Common" | "Nari" | "Symenos"
This template was made by Khara. She was bribed with coffee and jammy dodgers.

[Khara]

For perhaps the first time that day Khara was amused. Not in a malicious way, at least, she didn't think so. It was just that Zhol was trying to fit in and probably had no idea he was making himself stand out all the more for his efforts. The arm guard caught her eye, a painful lesson replayed in her mind, and she already had the sneaking suspicion that she would have to fight an overwhelming urge to correct whatever form the human had picked up when attempting to teach himself. Still, the purchases proved if nothing else he wanted to learn and, well, everyone had to start somewhere.

Khara tried to force herself into the role of teacher, but found it came far too unnaturally, entirely uncomfortably. No, she couldn't teach. That was never meant to be her lot in life. She could however, offer friendly suggestions. The girl shook her head slightly and quickly jogged over to where Zhol stood, just to his left side.

"That's a good distance to start with. You can always move back from here, but..." Khara hesitated, watching the boy standing directly in line with the target, fully facing it as if he was going to charge it head on. A frown crossed her features.

"You'll want to be more like this," Khara said, taking a step back so her right foot fell behind her other, the movement pivoting until both feet were parallel to the target. Her left arm raised to point down rang before she slowly envisioned herself holding her bow, her arm rotating to accommodate the imaginary object. "From the side, kinda."

As she looked over to him, the confidence drained from her, shoulders tightened and raised as her head fell slightly, the ground suddenly holding far more interest than anything else. "Y-you probably knew that."

Her outstretched arm threatened to fall lifeless to her side before it swept inward and across her, her hand grasping just above the elbow of her other appendage. Outsider or not, she couldn't shake the wrongness of the feeling of even suggesting basic information to an Avora. Zhol had mentioned he'd already tried to teach himself, which probably meant he as already fully aware of anything she would be able to say. Khara didn't ask, but it didn't exactly take a genius to figure out that he must have learned by watching others at one of the ranges.

She forced herself to bring a halt to the small nibble on her lower lip as the girl looked back to Zhol. "H-how about you show me wh-what you've learned so far?" Khara wanted to cringe at the stutter that had crept into her voice, but tried instead to look back to Zhol, hoping she was managing to project anything but the total lack of confidence that swept over her.

"Nari" | "Common" | "Broken bits of Pavi"

[Zhol]

|.

He did probably know that; but that didn't diminish the embarrassment of having made Khara think that he didn't understand even the basics. His mind strangled itself, flooding him with a sinking sense of dread over what a terrible idea this had been. He had bought the target so that he could practice, away from the prying and judgemental eyes of the other Inarta; but he had been so eager to impress Khara that he hadn't waited long enough to actually have any ability to impress her with. She had engaged in archery since her childhood; he had done so for a matter of weeks.

Great plan, his mind mocked. It's about time you proved how not worth her time you are.

His subconscious made a tactical error admonishing him in that voice; such criticism in the tones of his father inspired rebellion, not misery. He repositioned himself as Khara had indicated, and drew on what he had mimicked from Azira as he'd watched her on the range; or at least tried. As he settled an arrow in place and attempted to raise the bow and position his arms the way he had copied before, he met his first obstacle: the bow resisted, fighting against his efforts to draw the string back towards his cheek. His muscles were no stranger to extreme effort, but even they protested as he fought against the bow's tension, his arm shaking so much that if it weren't for the fancy glove he had bought, the string might have shuddered it's way out of his grip. He felt his tensed, struggling muscles waver, his arm straying as he struggled to sight down the arrow's shaft towards the target. Everything about shoulders was forgotten as his muscles bunched, trying their hardest to cling onto the bow for a few vital moments longer, waiting for the sway of his aim to bring the target vaguely back into his sights.

He loosed, partly by accident, and heard the thwack of the string against his fortunately armour-plated forearm. He felt the force of the impact even through the toughened leather, and in an instant the guard proved how worth the expense it had been. The bow felt less worthy of it's price tag however, vibrating in his fingers as his arm plummeted back to his side. With bated breath he watched as the arrow surged forward -

- and buried itself in the grass and scrub four yards short of the target. No amount of effort could have kept his entire body from slumping at such a disappointing display. The excuses were quick to bring themselves to his lips. "This new bow is harder to fire than I thought," he uttered, with bashful quiet.

"Pavi" | "Common" | "Nari" | "Symenos"
This template was made by Khara. She was bribed with coffee and jammy dodgers.

[Khara]

A giggle was stifled, a hand slapped over her mouth to keep it from escaping. It wasn't mean, but Khara knew perfectly well how one misplaced laugh could be as discouraging as anything else. The effort wasn't entirely for naught though, that was for certain. She had watched Zhol as he had taken aim, watched him attempt decent enough form but how it fell apart as he struggled with he new bow.

He wasn't wrong, she realized, there certainly was something about it that was different from whatever it was he was at least somewhat used to. Every bow had their quirks but even Khara had to admit the one in Zhol's hand wasn't entirely like anything she'd ever used. It was more... fancy. That wasn't the right word, she was sure, but it was the only one that wanted to stick around long enough to make an assessment.

Finally getting herself under control, Khara let out a soft hum as she looked from where the arrow was to where Zhol stood. Okay, so time for a lesson, even if she wasn't the best person to give it. Especially given that everything was already backwards between them. Zhol held the bow in his right hand, which she wasn't about to quetion. There had been two Yasi she could remember who had decided that was more comfortable from the beginning and if that felt right, it wasn't something that needed to be fixed in the slighted.

"Maybe you just need to break it in a bit?" she offered with a small shrug of her shoulders as she stepped closer to the boy. "Not that I think it'll get easier from the bow's concern, but you need to get used to it. It doesn't look like that's an easy draw..."

Her voice trailed off as she studied the thing, trying to look past it's more enviable qualities to what actually made it work how it did. Composite bows weren't a complete foreign concept to her, but without having ever shot one there was little that could be suggested as far as that went. But basics first, she supposed.

"Okay so, first..." Khara hesitated before stepping around behind Zhol, fingertips reaching into the air tentatively before she finally wrapped them gently around his forearm. "My mum taught me this, because the first arrow I ever shot the string came back and hit my arm and it wasn't the best thing. You... seem to know about that part already," she paused as her fingertips ran over the guard he had adorned. "But it will still deflect your arrow, yeah? You want to bend your arm, just a bit. Kinda, relaxed a bit and make sure that this line..." another pause as she ran a fingertip down where his elbow was covered "That should point down towards the ground."

A small breath left her as she continued around to the other side of him and tapped his left wrist. "You're going to hear it a lot of times, I know I have. But you need to try and relax. Tightening up only messes with things but the one part you need to keep straight and firm is from here," a gentle touch ran from his wrist to his elbow as her fingers ghosted across his skin. "To here. Don't bend that wrist when you bring it back. Maybe don't worry so much on how far just now. You should be bringing it to about your chin but... just... try to keep that arm all in one line as you draw back?"

Golden eyes glanced back up at the human boy and a flush of embarrassment came across as she pulled her hand away from him. "Th-there might be some other things I can show you, but give that a try? Just remember, don't fight against the bow, even if it is a bit more difficult to pull back."

"Nari" | "Common" | "Pavi"

[Zhol]

|.

Zhol tried his hardest to focus, to absorb the words that Khara was saying, but all he could think of was the fact that Khara was touching him. Shy, nervous, struggle to even look at him Khara, running her fingers across his skin. It wasn't sensual, and there was no ulterior intent; but it was unexpected, and it slammed into Zhol from the size like a stampeding glassbeak.

He tried to comply; doing so at least provided him with a distraction. Nothing was knew knowledge, but knowing and doing were worlds apart, and despite the harsh admonishments of his mind for forgetting, he knew he'd no doubt need to be reminded countless more times before it became second nature. He aimed the parts how Khara had said to aim them; tried to straighten what she had said to, and relax everything else. It was easier said than done, and it took all the willpower he could muster not to wrap the bow in a vice-like grip, the tension in the wood and bone making it feel as if the bow would fly out of his grip at any moment. He barely managed to draw the string back a few inches past his elbow, two worried about it breaking free and smacking him - or worse Khara - across the face if he tried any harder. He aimed as carefully as he could, tried to ease the string back the tiniest fraction more, fingers straining against the bow's spring; his resolve snapped before the bow string could do the same the way he was afraid it would, and the arrow launched itself forward.

At least it reached the target this time; though burying itself in one of the wooden supports that held the target aloft wasn't exactly what he'd been aiming for.

His face flushed. "If that were an animal, at least it would be limping and easier to catch now?" he suggested, hopefully.

"Pavi" | "Common" | "Nari" | "Symenos"
This template was made by Khara. She was bribed with coffee and jammy dodgers.

[Khara]

Despite Zhol's appraisal, and the apparent disapproval with his progress, Khara couldn't help but smile. It was a better shot, and he had been more controlled and more importantly, the stuff she had suggested actually seemed to help. The lack of the smack of the bowstring against his arm alone had her beaming far more than any self-respecting teacher ever really should have. Khara didn't care though, in that moment he had stopped being some Avora that she was hesitant to show she knew a bit more than, he was just her friend and she had made things better and that was something she could keep doing, hopefully.

"Yes!", the short reply came out full of the enthusiasm that was working through her. Okay, maybe not so much if it was a bigger animal, the thought guiltily came but thankfully went unsaid.

"That was lots of better," she offered in encouragement. "I wish I knew more about that type of bow, though. I think practice will make it easier to use, yes. Maybe you need more muscle in your arms too? I do not think I could use it, that's for certain. I don't think they're meant for scrawny people like me."

Khara couldn't help but muse over the choice. Wouldn't it have been better to learn with something more simple? Of course, if she had gotten a choice whether to learn with an older worn bow or something brand new, she probably would have chosen the later as well. If nothing else he was learning with the bow he intended to actually use and there was good sense in that.

A small hmm left her as she looked from Zhol to where the arrow jutted out from the leg of the target as she tried to picture how he had looked while making the shot. A more experienced archer would have been able to tell him how to improve for sure, just a few adjustments and that would be all it would take. Khara however, was having trouble figuring out where he may have went wrong and finally unstrapped her own bow from her shoulder.

"I think you may be gripping the bow a bit too much. I know it probably feels like it will fall out of your hand if you do not, but trust me, it won't." Shifting the bow into her right hand she made a small L shape with the fingers of her left. "Try to rest the bow in that space, if that makes sense. Like a..." Khara paused as she struggled for the word. A sigh left as she couldn't think of it and transferred the bow into her left hand, cradling it in the space she had indicated. Her fingers lightly wrapped around the piece of wood as she glanced back over towards him. "If you somewhat point your thumb forward a bit, towards the target, it helps to make your arm rotate like I showed you. At least, I think so. It may not work way for everybody."

Her arm lowered and her lips tugged to one side as she tried to think of something, anything else that she had learned that could help. Maybe something she had learned from Turrin? He was an Endal, after all, and Khara's mom had only been an Avora so maybe it was good to pass along what she knew from that.

"You want to make sure to bend your knees a bit too, that's part of that relaxed thing, I think. If they're all straight it makes you feel like the rest of you has to be all ridged too, maybe?" The girl moved closer to Zhol and reached up to place her free hand on his left shoulder. "You don't want to pull from here either. Well, I mean, you do. But once you have everything in place you don't want to keep it there. When you do it right, it feels more like you hold everything in your back more."

"Everything kind of moves down and becomes more solid; stability not tense. You'll know it when you feel it, I think. That's how I learned. It kinda feels like you are holding the arrow's weight right here," Khara finished. Her gentle touch left his shoulder and traded contact instead against the slight curve of the boy's lower back.

A tick was taken as she considered her advice, not really sure if it came out how she wanted and then suddenly her eyes widened a touch and she looked up at him, a rush of crimson coloring her cheeks. She hadn't meant to get so close to him! And hadn't meant to… her hand was quickly drawn back, finding a comforting place as it tugged at the fringe of the scarf he had given her. Way to go, sparrow. Not only did that not make a bit of sense but now you've probably made him even more uncomfortable too.

Khara took a small, timid step away from Zhol as she tried to keep smiling through her embarrassment. "S-s-sorry," she stammered. Great, now you sound like one of those snake people too. "Just try another go? You're doing really good, actually."

"Nari" | "Common" | "Pavi"

[Zhol]

|.

Lhex was a twisted, cruel minded, petching son of a whore. That was the only explanation; the only logical reason for why this was all so petching hard and petching painful; the only answer for why it felt like the world stopped the instant her hand was against him, and like it ended the second she pulled away. And that shame, that embarrassment, that recoil of horror felt like an arrow had sailed right through his chest and absconded with the contents.

Her words rattled in his ears. Not enough muscle in his arms. It wasn't just his skill that was lacking; his body was a disappointment too. No wonder she looked so panicked at her accidental closeness; bad as it was to have risked Zhol mistakenly believing that there might be a chance of more, the humiliation if anyone saw her with the dull-haired horse boy who wasn't even strong enough to pull back his own petching bow would be far, far worse.

He tried to muster a smile, but it came out as more of grimacing wince. Try another go. Sure. That he could do. The bow became the subject of his anger, every piece of advice, every observed motion, every one of the scant few seconds of practice he'd had thundering loudly inside his mind. Don't grip the bow? Fine. Point your thumb at the target? Fine. He wrenched back against the bow string with all the might his weak and feeble arms could muster, back as far as he could, the leather bound grip digging into the crook of his thumb as the bow tried to chase the string towards his jaw. He felt the muscles across his back tense and tighten, trying to hold the strain of the string and relax his shoulders at the same time, a feat that felt impossible. He didn't moderate his breath, but stopped it completely, jaw too tightly clenched, tongue too firmly clamped against the roof of his mouth for breathing to work anyway. When the arrow finally launched, the string snatching itself enthusiastically free from his fingers, for one beautiful blissful moment it seemed as if frustration had unlocked some great secret skill within him; but what had seemed like a respectable shot was proven otherwise, the arrowhead glancing off the side of the target, a ricochet that sent it sailing into the waiting waters of the lake with a resounding, mocking plunk.

Zhol stood in abject silence as he watched the flow of the water carry his arrow towards the cliff edge, and toss it harmlessly over the falls. He felt the familiar prickles of anticipation in his skin as his spark of frustration ignited a full-blown inferno of rage. He wanted to scream; wanted to snap the bow in his hands in half; hurl the stupid petching waste of pinions off the cliff; wanted to unleash his fury from his hands and reduce the target to a smouldering pile of ashes. But then his gaze shifted, settled on Khara, and it was like being subjected to a torrential deluge; and suddenly all he felt was tired, and small.

His legs decided that standing was too comprehensive a demand; it was all he could do to muster a few borderline staggering steps backwards before letting himself slump to the ground with something vaguely resembling intent. His knees reflexively rose towards his chest as his heels dug into the grass; his arms hugged around them, the bow hanging loosely from his grip.

"I'm sorry," he said, barely loud enough to be heard at all. "I guess I am not very good at this."

"Pavi" | "Common" | "Nari" | "Symenos"
This template was made by Khara. She was bribed with coffee and jammy dodgers.