Khara felt guilty. Not for the reason that she had suddenly apparently caused Zhol to talk about things that she knew must be painful considering what he had told her of how he left his former home, but it was far more that she was having trouble understanding. The words were okay, most of them at least. It was the concepts behind the explanations that failed her. Zhol was taking his time, pausing to explain bits and pieces he knew she may not fully grasp but still it was hard to picture so her head was having trouble keeping up with everything.
The family thing, it just sounded an awful lot like they made people have titles that made them into a group. Apparently they shared blood relations as well, but it seemed not so unlike his family were Avora or something similar. Even the fact they were all related wasn't too hard to comprehend, she supposed. After all there were many jokes about the fact that so many Inarta didn't know who their fathers were that the odds of someone having children of their own with a half-sibling or similar were rampant. All joking aside, Khara figured it probably happened at least somewhat, but no one seemed to think too much on it. Not that blood exactly made family, though.
The bit about something he had called a wife sounded very strange though. Why did there need to be any legal thing saying that two people were together? In Wind Reach two people simply would begin living together if they wanted to and would stop when they did not. Some never even did that and instead celebrated their individuality by having as many partners are possible. It was supposed to be fun, after all. Or so Khara had heard through the random boasts of some Chiet male who had won over quite a few of his fellow caste. Khara had even seen some individuals with Chivas marks on them, from when two people apparently said something to each other that the goddess took notice of, but that was very rare and the Chiet girl had never quite understood what they must have done different than anyone else.
As much as she didn't understand, Khara still felt an amount of awe as Zhol spoke of his family. There were so many names, people he knew that had been a part of and helped to shape his life. So many sisters and brothers and they had all known each other for better or worse.
"I think my sister would have liked you too," Khara spoke, the words leaving her as plainly as if she were commenting on the weather as she watched a particular cloud drift across the sky, its shape vaguely resembling a hawk, she thought.
It took a tick, a moment for her to realize the shock that not only had she even thought the thing but that she had actually spoken it and it had come out in a language her internal thoughts never seemed to be in. Her eyes widened and she felt like her insides suddenly crushed down upon her. Shoulders slumped under the invisible weight and Khara pulled her knees closer to her chest by just a fraction.
"I mean... if I had one." The half-truth felt horrible to say and she instantly regretted it. Out of everything that Zhol had told her, all the truths he had laid bare between them, the fact she hesitated now felt wrong. Especially after her mind had apparently made the decision to speak on the matter for her.
A small cringe ran through her as she looked down towards Zhol but couldn't actually bring herself to look at him. "That's a thing here, if you haven't noticed. I think maybe it is to make sure we all do not fade away since so many of us die all the time. When someone has a baby here, they have many, two or three most of the times. One doesn't happen so often at all. My mum was one of three when she was born, or so she told me."
Khara realized she was stalling when one of her hands dropped to the ground and began drawing small circles in the dirt. She didn't do anything to stop the motion, somehow it made it easier to talk and kept her focused on something enough that she could keep emotion from fully snaring her voice away from her. "So when my mum had me, she had my sister too. Only she didn't make it. Mum told me that she was never really alive outside of her, that she died when we were being born. I guess I came second and she told me I was way littler than my sister was so they weren't quite sure why it was that she died and I didn't. I guess that just happens sometimes. I wonder some days about her, about what she would have been like. If her eyes were gold like mine and if she was the Wind Eagle instead of me. Maybe she had to go back to being one and knew she wasn't supposed to be an Inarta. Maybe now her and my mum are Wind Eagles. That must be kinds of funny, though, since my sister would now be the older one since she died first. But I don't know, maybe not. People have funny stories about those that the Djed storm killed, like maybe they became part of the storm itself and never got reborn. I don't really like those stories."
Her voice became quieter the longer she spoke and she finally looked up from the ground towards Zhol, a hint of sadness over everything she had admitted lingered for a moment. Another small shrug of her shoulders was enough to brush it off, leaving a far more neutral expression in its wake. "I don't think about this so much, usually it feels more bad to talk about it. Not right now, though. I guess I like telling you things."
The family thing, it just sounded an awful lot like they made people have titles that made them into a group. Apparently they shared blood relations as well, but it seemed not so unlike his family were Avora or something similar. Even the fact they were all related wasn't too hard to comprehend, she supposed. After all there were many jokes about the fact that so many Inarta didn't know who their fathers were that the odds of someone having children of their own with a half-sibling or similar were rampant. All joking aside, Khara figured it probably happened at least somewhat, but no one seemed to think too much on it. Not that blood exactly made family, though.
The bit about something he had called a wife sounded very strange though. Why did there need to be any legal thing saying that two people were together? In Wind Reach two people simply would begin living together if they wanted to and would stop when they did not. Some never even did that and instead celebrated their individuality by having as many partners are possible. It was supposed to be fun, after all. Or so Khara had heard through the random boasts of some Chiet male who had won over quite a few of his fellow caste. Khara had even seen some individuals with Chivas marks on them, from when two people apparently said something to each other that the goddess took notice of, but that was very rare and the Chiet girl had never quite understood what they must have done different than anyone else.
As much as she didn't understand, Khara still felt an amount of awe as Zhol spoke of his family. There were so many names, people he knew that had been a part of and helped to shape his life. So many sisters and brothers and they had all known each other for better or worse.
"I think my sister would have liked you too," Khara spoke, the words leaving her as plainly as if she were commenting on the weather as she watched a particular cloud drift across the sky, its shape vaguely resembling a hawk, she thought.
It took a tick, a moment for her to realize the shock that not only had she even thought the thing but that she had actually spoken it and it had come out in a language her internal thoughts never seemed to be in. Her eyes widened and she felt like her insides suddenly crushed down upon her. Shoulders slumped under the invisible weight and Khara pulled her knees closer to her chest by just a fraction.
"I mean... if I had one." The half-truth felt horrible to say and she instantly regretted it. Out of everything that Zhol had told her, all the truths he had laid bare between them, the fact she hesitated now felt wrong. Especially after her mind had apparently made the decision to speak on the matter for her.
A small cringe ran through her as she looked down towards Zhol but couldn't actually bring herself to look at him. "That's a thing here, if you haven't noticed. I think maybe it is to make sure we all do not fade away since so many of us die all the time. When someone has a baby here, they have many, two or three most of the times. One doesn't happen so often at all. My mum was one of three when she was born, or so she told me."
Khara realized she was stalling when one of her hands dropped to the ground and began drawing small circles in the dirt. She didn't do anything to stop the motion, somehow it made it easier to talk and kept her focused on something enough that she could keep emotion from fully snaring her voice away from her. "So when my mum had me, she had my sister too. Only she didn't make it. Mum told me that she was never really alive outside of her, that she died when we were being born. I guess I came second and she told me I was way littler than my sister was so they weren't quite sure why it was that she died and I didn't. I guess that just happens sometimes. I wonder some days about her, about what she would have been like. If her eyes were gold like mine and if she was the Wind Eagle instead of me. Maybe she had to go back to being one and knew she wasn't supposed to be an Inarta. Maybe now her and my mum are Wind Eagles. That must be kinds of funny, though, since my sister would now be the older one since she died first. But I don't know, maybe not. People have funny stories about those that the Djed storm killed, like maybe they became part of the storm itself and never got reborn. I don't really like those stories."
Her voice became quieter the longer she spoke and she finally looked up from the ground towards Zhol, a hint of sadness over everything she had admitted lingered for a moment. Another small shrug of her shoulders was enough to brush it off, leaving a far more neutral expression in its wake. "I don't think about this so much, usually it feels more bad to talk about it. Not right now, though. I guess I like telling you things."
"Nari" | "Common" | "Pavi"
